by Nikki Ash
“Are you defending them? Because she’s nothing like my mom, and he’s definitely not like my dad.”
“No, I’m simply pointing out that you’re making a lot of assumptions and judgements without knowing all the facts. In case you forgot, you’re rich. You could out-vacation both of them.”
“Whatever…”
“Don’t ‘whatever’ me. What if Celeste wasn’t in the picture? Could you see yourself with Nick?”
“No way. My life might’ve taken a detour, but I’m not giving up on true love. I want what my parents had. I want a man who is in love with me.”
“You had to have seen something in Nick to bring him back to your hotel room that night…”
“Victor had just broken my heart, and Nick was nothing more than a hot guy who helped me get over him.” But even as I say the words, I know they aren’t completely true. That night with Nick felt like more than just a one-night stand. It felt raw and real, like we connected on a whole other level—something I never felt with Victor. It scared me, and I ran.
“Judging by your expression, I think I’ve made my point.” She puts her hands out wanting to hold Reed, so I hand him to her. “What your mom and dad had was beautiful and magical, but you’re never going to find your happily-ever-after if you keep comparing every guy to your dad, and every relationship to the one your parents had. What they had was theirs…maybe it’s time you find your own.”
“Enough about me. I’m sorry Christian ended up being a cheater,” I say, changing the subject.
“It’s not your fault, but I can tell you one thing. I’m never dating another musician again. And while I’m at it, I’m banning all athletes too! Who else travels?”
“Pilot,” I say, going along with her rant.
“No pilots! Who else?”
“Umm…Military guys travel, right?” I ask.
“Yeah, but don’t they go to like Afghanistan? Do you think they cheat with Afghani women?”
“I’m not sure,” I say. “We could look it up.”
“Well, to be on the safe side, I’m banning all men in the service! Oh! And truck drivers too!” I bite my bottom lip to stop from smiling, but when Giselle cracks a smile, I can’t help but giggle.
“You’re banning everyone!” I say through my laughter, and she throws her head back in a fit of giggles. “There’s going to be nobody left.”
“Maybe I’ll turn lesbian like my sister!” She laughs.
“What? Since when is Adrianna gay?”
“Since she called me last night and told me she wants me to meet her girlfriend!”
“My goodness. This New Year’s is jam packed full of surprises!” I say. “Speaking of your sister. How is she doing? Aside from her switching teams?” I wink dramatically, and Giselle laughs.
“She’s good. Living and enjoying the college life. She was accepted into some sorority, so she’s ecstatic.”
“And how’s your mom doing?”
Giselle sighs. “It’s a good thing we came back. My mom has gotten worse, and my dad is almost never home. I’ve been visiting her, trying to help around the house, but she’s just too much to be around sometimes. I asked my dad about getting her help, but he doesn’t want to deal with it. Every psychiatrist she sees says the same thing. She’s depressed.”
“I’m sorry, sweetie.” I pull my best friend into a hug. “If you need anything, all you have to do is ask…no, not ask, just tell me.”
“I know, which is why you’re my best friend and I love you.”
“Love you more.”
Fourteen
Nick
As I’m leaving Olivia’s place, my mom calls me. I’ve barely said hello when she starts ripping into me.
“Nicholas, you weren’t at the party last night.” Immediately, I regret answering the phone call. Before I can respond, my mom continues, “That was a team party. There was a lot of press there. It looks bad when the face of the team doesn’t show up.” Stopping in front of my car, I close my eyes and lay my head against the side. Holy shit! I’m a thirty-year old man whose mom is still keeping tabs on him. It was so nice during the year I wasn’t playing and they left me alone. The holidays need to seriously be over so she and my dad can go back to North Carolina.
“Mom—” I’m about to tell her I need to call her back when she puts my dad on the phone. Great…
“Nick, I have three contracts for endorsements, which need to be signed. I’ve already okayed them all. I’ll bring them to you later today with all the details. I had Amber make sure the commercials and photoshoots will take place after your season is over.”
Before I can ask any questions or even say okay, he’s already put my mom back on the phone. This is what he always does, though. He handles my career. My mom rattles on about the next function and how important it is for me to be there, and just like my dad, when she’s done saying what she needs to say, she hangs up. Unlocking my door, I get in my vehicle, feeling suddenly drained. Has dealing with my parents always been this exhausting? And yet, it doesn’t even feel like I’ve participated in the conversations with them. What exactly did I say? Hello?
Needing to let off some frustration, I head over to the stadium. There’s no practice today, but the gym is always open for us. When I walk inside, I spot several of my teammates working out. Not wanting to talk to anyone, I change into my workout gear and head out to the field. My workout of choice for today is sprinting up and down the steps. Plugging my ear buds into my ears, I start jogging upward. The music is playing, but I can’t focus on the lyrics. My mind goes back to my non-conversation with my parents and then to last night with Olivia. The two of us watching the countdown—talking and laughing and getting to know each other. I’ve never felt that at ease around someone. When I talked, it felt like she was actually listening.
Since as far back as I can remember, everybody in my life has talked at me instead of with me. They’ve always wanted something from me. From my parents, to my coaches, to my girlfriends. Everybody has these expectations that are exhausting to live up to. But when I was sitting on the couch with Olivia, watching television and eating her microwaved snacks, something felt different. Real.
We fell asleep on the couch, and even without anything sexual happening, I felt closer to her than I have felt to anybody I’ve ever been with. It has me wanting to find out where things might lead to, but I know I can’t do that as long as I’m engaged to Celeste.
Fuck…Celeste. I hate that I agreed to this pact and to this engagement, and now I want out. I never should’ve agreed to it in the first place, though. It doesn’t matter how many times I get hurt, I don’t think I can give up on love. Sure, I took a break from it. I had my fair share of meaningless hookups, but I never really gave up on the idea of love. I’d just accepted that it probably wouldn’t happen for me. When Fiona told me the thought of having a family with me was the equivalent of a nightmare, I took her words to heart. And I don’t blame her…I know I put my parents and my career before her. But now that I’m recognizing that, I’m hoping I can change things. It wasn’t until I walked away from both of those things that I found some happiness. Now I have my football career back, but with it came my parents. I’m not about to let history repeat itself, which means I have some tough decisions to make. First one—being honest with Celeste.
* * *
“Oh good! You’re home!” I’m not even through the door and Celeste is on me. “I leave for Milan in an hour. I’ve been thinking about our conversation yesterday, and I know I had said that I only viewed you as a brother before, but I really think—”
Grabbing Celeste’s hand, I pull her to sit next to me. “We need to talk,” I say, cutting her off. Her brows furrow with worry. “Last night I was—”
“Nick, whatever it is you’re about to say, don’t. I don’t want to know.”
“I spent the night at Olivia’s place.”
“I said I don’t want to know!” Celeste stands.
“I’m
not going to hide shit from you.”
“I can’t handle knowing if you cheated on me. Please, just don’t tell me,” she pleads. Tears fill her lids, but she quickly blinks them away. “Don’t tell me,” she whispers.
“Celeste, did someone cheat on you?” I ask. Her eyes go wide for a split second before she schools her features. “You know you can talk to me,” I add.
“There’s nothing to talk about,” she says, her voice now completely devoid of all emotion. I assess her for a moment, but when it’s clear she’s not going to open up to me, I give up on trying to get anything out of her.
“Nothing happened,” I say, needing her to know that I would never cheat on her.
“Okay, good.” She nods her head up and down several times. I stare at the beautiful woman I’ve known my entire life. When I was told I needed to settle down and Celeste had reminded me of our pact, I thought it was fate. I was done with love and relationships. We agreed on a marriage of convenience with a prenup and no kids. She knew exactly what she wanted, and I thought it was what I wanted as well. But now as I look at her, I know all I was doing nine months ago was taking the easy way out. I didn’t want to go up against my parents. I didn’t want to risk letting another woman down. Celeste was safe. But the truth is, I never would’ve lasted in a loveless marriage, and Celeste deserves so much more, even if she doesn’t realize it.
“Celeste.”
She grants me a small smile, one that most don’t see. It’s one that screams vulnerability. When she’s unsure of how to make something right. When the situation is out of her control. The fact is she’s not a bad person. She’s one of my best friends. When she lets you in, she is sweet and kind and supportive. She was honest with what she wanted, and none of this is her fault.
“Don’t do this, Nick. Please.” A single tear escapes, rolling down her cheek. “We have a good thing going.”
“This type of relationship isn’t for me. And it shouldn’t be for you either. We both deserve more. To be with someone who we love and who loves us back.”
“So, what? You’re in love with Olivia?”
“No, but I want to find out if I could be. What if she’s the one?”
“You thought Fiona was the one, and she—” Before she can finish her sentence, there’s a knock on the door. She walks over to it, and my parents are standing there. That’s when I remember my dad had mentioned he was going to bring the papers by for me to sign.
“Celeste, what’s wrong?” my mom asks.
“Nick believes he could be in love with Olivia.”
“Wait, is this over the baby?” My mom gives me a confused look. “Celeste said you chose to stay home last night instead of going to the party even though she found a nanny.”
“I don’t want a nanny. I want to raise my son myself.”
“You had a nanny,” my mom points out.
“I don’t want my son to have the same kind of life I had.” The words are out before I can stop them, and my mom flinches as if she’s been slapped.
“You had a good life.”
“According to who? You? Dad?”
“You were given every damn thing you wanted,” my dad says, joining the conversation. “Most would kill for your damn life. So stop acting like a spoiled brat.”
“Yeah, I was given materialistic shit, but neither of you actually raised me. If it wasn’t football related, you didn’t even know I existed.”
“Oh, Nick, stop acting like a damn little girl,” my dad scoffs.
“Tell me this. Other than football, what did I participate in, in high school?” I turn to Celeste. “Don’t say a word.” She might sometimes be self-absorbed, but she was still my best friend growing up, and unlike my parents, she actually knows me. And even when I had no one else at my various school events, Celeste would always be there.
“Nicholas! Why are you acting like this?” my mom screeches, avoiding the question she can’t answer. “Your father and I have done everything in our power to make sure you had your future paved for you. You should be thanking us, not judging us. You have no idea what the real world is like.”
“What I do know is that growing up, all I wanted was to make both of you happy. I busted my ass in football to the point where I lost my love of the sport and my girlfriend left me. Did you know that when she left me, she said I put you guys first? And what sucks is that while I was putting you two before my girlfriend, you were putting yourselves first! It’s the parents’ job to put their child first, not the other way around.”
“This is all about that flighty waitress?” my mom asks. “She was a waste of your time.”
“That flighty waitress? She was in dance school. Holy shit! Can you be any more stuck up and judgmental? Do you not remember that you used to live in a trailer park?” I point to my dad. “Until he got you out! I loved her and was going to marry her. But she left me!” My voice booms. “She left me because she said it would be a goddamn nightmare to have a family with me because I put you guys first!”
“Stop!” Celeste yells, and everyone turns their attention to her. “I’m not going to let you believe that.”
“Celeste, don’t,” my mom hisses.
“No, it’s enough. Look, Nick, that woman you loved. She didn’t leave you because you put your parents first. She left you because—”
“Celeste!” my mom yells.
“Your mom paid her off. She gave her five hundred thousand dollars to walk away.”
My head jerks to my mom. “Is she for real?”
“I did it for you. She didn’t love you! She wanted you to quit playing and start a family. And then you got injured. I knew if she had it her way, you would never play again.”
“Are you out of your mind? You didn’t do it for me!” I nod toward my dad. “You did it for him and for you. So he could keep making money off me and you could continue to brag about your NFL player son! That’s all I am to you people!” I shake my head then turn to Celeste. “And where do you fit into all this?”
“I didn’t know, Nick. I’ve always been upfront with you. She just told me this last night at the party.”
“So, this entire time, I thought she left because she no longer loved me, but it was because she was paid off.”
“You know what, Nick? Your mom might’ve paid her off, but Fiona took the money.” Celeste puts her hand on my arm. “You chose love, and she chose money. You walked away heartbroken, and she walked away hundreds of thousands of dollars richer. I told you years ago, the world revolves around money, not love.”
“Maybe so, but in my experience, money destroys the world. I’ll take love over money any damn day.” And that’s without truly experiencing it firsthand.
“Nick, stop being dramatic,” my dad says.
“Did you have anything to do with all this?” I ask him.
“No, I didn’t. It was all your mother. But let’s be real. Had she stayed, you wouldn’t be playing. So, I have to say I think she did what was in your best interest at the time.” He pulls the papers out of the envelope. “I need to get going. I need to talk to you about a possible new contract at the end of the season, but it can wait. I just need you to sign these papers.” He hands me a pen, and I quickly sign them.
When I hand him back the pen and papers, he heads toward the door, my mom following on his heels. As he opens the door, I call out my mom’s name. “Let me tell you something. Olivia is my son’s mother, and she’ll be around in some shape or form for the rest of my life. If you try to mess with her in any way, I’ll make sure your status and reputation are the least of your concerns.”
“Nicholas!” my mom cries, “are you threatening me?” It’s the first time I’ve ever seen tears actually appear from her.
“No, Mom. It’s a goddamn promise. Either you accept Olivia and Reed or you’re dead to me.”
Once my parents are out the door and it’s closed, Celeste says, “I have to leave, but when I get back, I’ll move my stuff out.”
“Y
ou don’t have to leave right away. If you need time to find a place, it’s okay.”
She comes over and hugs me. “I appreciate that, Nick, but it’s time. You’re my best friend and I’m not about to lose you because of my issues. I’m sorry for asking you to own up to that pact.”
“You didn’t make me do anything. But you know…” I laugh, thinking about the other half of the pact. “I really do think there’s a good chance Olivia could be the one.”
Celeste rolls her eyes. “Yeah, yeah.”
“And I met her before I turned thirty.”
“Okay…”
“So, if we end up falling in love, technically that would mean you would have to pay up.”
“What are you talking about, Nick?”
“We agreed…if I found love before thirty, you would do the same.”
Celeste suddenly looks crestfallen. Her eyes go glossy and she averts her gaze away from me. She clears her throat and swipes away the tears. “Sorry, there’s something in my eye.”
“Yeah, you’ve had a lot of somethings in your eye lately,” I say. “Want to tell me what’s going on?”
“Nope, it must be something in the air…pollen or dust…”
“Yeah, okay. Have it your way. But I’m not letting this pact go. You better get ready to find your true love.”
“Talk to me once you’re actually in love and in it for the long haul, lover boy.” She pats my chest playfully, but the sadness in her features remain. “I need to catch my flight.” She leans over and gives my cheek a kiss. “I’m sorry for what your mom did. Please believe me when I say I never wanted to see you hurt.”
* * *
“1-right, 11 belly, pass on 2.” The guys scramble, and I completely forget the play I just called. Luckily, Craig Stratum, one of the wide receivers, is open, and I throw it right into his awaiting hands.
“That wasn’t the play!” Coach yells, not missing a beat. “Where’s your head at? That’s the fifth play you’ve messed up!” On any given practice, we’ll go through over a hundred different plays, and I always get them right. Today, my head isn’t in the game.