With that thought, Phoebe knew she was looking for excuses to be suspicious of Nick. That wasn’t entirely fair. She needed to find a balance. A way to be friendly without being overly interested. Surely she was strong and mature enough to figure something out.
Having settled the bill, the trio stepped outside and went their separate ways, Holly and Phoebe to the guest-house they were staying at, and Nick to his hotel.
As they strolled along the pavement, dodging pedestrians and food carts, Holly asked her what she thought of him. Phoebe tried her best to change the topic, but Holly persisted. “Come on, don’t you think he’s attractive?” she asked, a playful grin on her face.
Phoebe shrugged. “Of course he is, but I’m not interested.”
“I don’t see why not. He’s one hunk of a man.”
“I’m not looking for a hunk, Holly. You know that.”
“You are allowed to be happy again, Phoebes.”
Phoebe blew out a breath. “I know that. I’m not trying to avoid happiness. But perhaps if you’re so intent on the man, you should be letting him know you’re intrested rather than setting me up.” She raised her brow. Two could play at this game.
“Ha! He hasn’t looked my way once and you know it. Not only that, but I’m still a fool for someone who’ll most likely never return my affections. Just because I can’t move on doesn’t mean you can’t.”
Phoebe laughed. “Listen to us. We sound like two school girls.”
Holly linked her arm through Phoebe’s. “We do, don’t we? What’s wrong with us?”
“Nothing. We’re blessed beyond measure compared to the children we’re working with.”
“You’re absolutely right. That puts everything into perspective.”
“It sure does.”
As Phoebe lay in her bed that night, she thanked God for the many blessings in her life and asked Him to heal her heart and help her to let go of Reed so she could move on. Not that she wanted to let him go, but she knew she had to. She also pushed any thoughts of Nick from her mind. Well, she tried to, but was finding it very hard not to think of him…
Chapter 9
More than a week had passed and Nick was still committed to the work he was doing at ‘Regenerate the Nations’. One day, Thomas had asked him to do some work at the boys’ school and suggested he chat with some of the boys who wanted to work on their English while he was there.
It had been a good experience, although rather challenging. The boys had experienced similar traumas to the girls and it was horrific. Nick could hardly contain his anger when he thought about what they’d been through.
When he returned to his hotel in the evenings, he passed a number of massage parlors. He now knew what that was code for. Despite the vibrancy of the city, he felt haunted and entirely distraught by the oppression that lay hidden behind closed doors.
He found himself continually asking God why all of this suffering was happening. If He existed, and was as loving and kind as everyone said He was, why would He allow little children to suffer? Why would He allow young men and women to be so badly abused? Why was any of it happening?
He was starting to learn some of the terms often used by Christians, about sin and fallen man and the fact that God had given humanity free will. The existence of evil was not God’s fault, but something He allowed so that He could turn the circumstances for His own glory.
But how did that make any sense? How could He be glorified when these terrible things were going on?
Nick did all he could to push the sadness aside. He distracted himself with the work, knowing that at least he was doing something small to help. It wasn’t much, but it was something.
And then there was Phoebe. She was proving to be an unwanted distraction, but a distraction he simply couldn’t avoid. Along with Holly, they’d shared their evening meal together several times since that first night. He was slowly learning more about her, although she seemed reluctant to share much about herself. He knew she was a kindergarten teacher and a strong believer in Jesus. She also lived in Sydney and had been raised by her mum. He hadn’t pressed her about her dad, figuring that whatever had taken her father out of the picture was probably painful.
Whenever Holly, or, on the rare occasion, Phoebe, asked him about his life and family, he gave them vague answers. He told them that he worked in management for a large firm and that he had two siblings, and he’d gone so far as to mention that he’d lost both of his parents a few years back in a car accident.
When asked about his church, Nick confessed that he was still fairly new to church, but that things seemed to have been changing a lot in his life since attending. He told them that he was coming to believe that God was real, but he still had so much to learn about Him.
Phoebe had displayed a twinge of disappointment when he shared that, which puzzled him. Why would that statement have disappointed her? He didn’t understand. But Holly had taken the initiative and asked him some deeper questions. Nick began to realise that belief in God had far greater consequences than he’d ever expected. It seemed that it wasn’t enough to believe. What to do with that belief was a decision he wasn’t yet ready to make.
The day after that conversation, Nick was in one of the empty rooms doing some restorative work on the walls when Holly came in.
“Hey Holly, how are you doing?” he greeted, puzzled as to why she’d be stopping by.
She smiled. “Great, how are you?”
“I’m good, thanks,” he replied hesitantly.
“Have you thought any more about the stuff we were discussing last night?” She stepped closer and inspected the wall.
He paused mid scrape. “Quite a lot, actually. I read a bit more of the Bible last night and it’s starting to make a little sense, but it’s still confusing.”
“I can understand that, but if you ask God to open your spiritual eyes as you read, it’ll start to make more sense.”
“I might try that, thanks.” He continued scraping.
“You know, it’s really important stuff. We only get one chance at life.” Holly folded her arms and leaned against the wall.
“Yeah, I’ve been thinking about that a bit lately.” And he had. Being here had opened his eyes so much, but he’d already been thinking about the true meaning of life before he came. Surely there was more to life than just money, power and material possessions. He had so much, and he was grateful, but something seemed to be lacking.
“It can end so quickly,” she stated, shocking him. What was she getting at? He knew life was fragile. He’d lost both his parents. Why would she say something like that to him? Was she trying to force him into making a decision to follow God by scaring him? Surely not.
“I think Phoebe and I truly understood that last year, when Reed died,” she continued casually.
“Reed?” He frowned. He’d not heard of anybody called Reed. Had he missed something?
She pretended to inspect the wall. “Phoebe’s fiancé.”
Nick put the scraper down and turned to face her. “Fiancé?”
“Yes. Phoebe was engaged.” She spoke nonchalantly, but Nick sensed she’d planned this conversation specifically to give him the information.
“Wh-when did he pass away?” Nick asked, trying to absorb the news.
“A little over ten months ago. She’s still getting over it.” Holly turned and met his gaze. “I know she needs to grieve, but I don’t want her to be sad forever. She doesn’t go after the things she wants because she feels she’s betraying Reed.”
The penny dropped. Holly was encouraging him to pursue Phoebe while cautioning him at the same time. She was also explaining why Phoebe sometimes sent mixed signals. “I can imagine it must be hard for her,” he said.
“Yes. It’s very hard. I think she likes you, but she’s hesitant to show it.”
He blinked. It was the most unlikely conversation. How should he respond? Of course he’d found Phoebe attractive, but if Phoebe was still grieving the loss of
the man she was meant to marry, he could hardly pursue her. And yet, that’s exactly what Holly seemed to be encouraging him to do.
Phoebe was also strong in her faith. Would she even consider dating him given that he hadn’t made the commitment people kept talking about? He gathered that was a sticking point, but he didn’t want to make a commitment just for her sake. If he made it, it would be for the right reason—the last thing he wanted was a fake faith.
But there was no reason why he couldn’t be friends with her. He smiled at Holly. “Thanks for all the information. I’ll take it on board.”
Later that morning, while working in the hall outside Phoebe’s classroom, he couldn’t help but overhear her interacting with the children. She seemed so strong and confident, not at all like a woman grieving. She was obviously stronger than she thought she was, or maybe she got her strength from somewhere else. God, perhaps?
When his parents died, his grief had caused him to do all sorts of foolish things. He hadn’t handled it well at all, and he wasn’t even that close to them. But Holly had told him that Reed died only three weeks before the wedding and that they’d been together for two years. They were obviously in love and planning their life together. He couldn’t imagine the heartache she must have felt, and was no doubt still feeling.
The way the children responded to her in such a positive way demonstrated what a warm and loving person she was, and that despite her grief, she was able to put others before herself. That in itself made her very appealing, and Nick found himself day-dreaming about her while he patched the wall. So lost in his thoughts, she completely caught him off guard when she appeared in the hall beside him.
A smile flitted across her lips. “I didn’t know you were here.”
“I’ve just been patching the wall. I hope I didn’t disturb your class.” He pulled at his beard that had grown since he arrived and stumbled over his words. All of a sudden, knowing about her fiancé, he felt uneasy in front of her.
“Not at all.” Their gazes met and a hint of crimson crept slowly into her face.
Entranced, he couldn’t tear his gaze away. Her appeal was not just physical. It was her genuine inner beauty that drew him to her.
One of the children stepped into the hall and grabbed at Phoebe’s skirt, ending the moment. She immediately turned to the child and tended to her needs, but Nick sensed that something had clicked between them, that the attraction was mutual. The thought warmed his heart.
At lunch, he was already seated at his usual table when Phoebe entered. His heart rate kicked up a notch when their gazes briefly met before she lined up for her meal, but when she joined him at the table, her gaze remained lowered.
“How was the rest of your morning?” he asked, trying to keep the conversation light.
“Good.” She offered a small smile and began poking her food with her fork.
“The kids seem to love you.”
Her smile grew broader, but she seemed bashful and didn’t look him in the eye. “They certainly respond more than the kids at home.”
“I’m…I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable earlier. It was difficult not to notice how well you interact with the children.”
She lifted her gaze slowly to his. “Thank you. And don’t worry about it. I was just…” she blew out a breath, “caught off guard, I guess. I didn’t know you were in the hallway listening. I appreciate your compliment that I’m good with the kids. And you’ve been quite a help with all the projects you’ve been working on.”
He laughed. “Thanks. It feels good doing some physical work for a change.”
Holly entered and joined them before they could talk more, but Nick was growing more confident that a spark had been lit between them, and he knew that they could, at the very least, be friends, and he liked the thought of that.
Chapter 10
Flopping onto her bed, Phoebe stared at the ceiling.
“Aren’t you at least going to change into your pyjamas?” Holly asked, slipping hers on.
“No use. I don’t think I’ll sleep much tonight,” Phoebe replied.
“Oh no. That’s your guilt voice.” Holly perched on the edge of the opposite bed. “What is it now? Didn’t you teach well enough today, or has it something to do with our lunch companion?” She wiggled her eyebrows and grinned.
“Don’t even start,” Phoebe moaned.
“I don’t have to. You already did.” Holly leaned forward and rubbed her arm. “What’s up, Phoebes? Want to talk about it?”
Phoebe sat, and crossing her legs, let out a heavy sigh. “I’m not sure what God is telling me. I was so convinced that Reed was the man He wanted me to marry, but then Reed died, and now, here I am attracted to a man who isn’t a Christian.”
“Yet. He told me today that he’s been praying a lot and he’s realised how much he really does believe in God. I think it’s just a matter of time. Maybe you should be praying that he surrenders his life to Christ, and then you won’t need to worry.”
“Fine, maybe I should, but you know there’s more to it than that. I really believed I was meant to be with Reed. How do I move on from that?”
“I don’t know that God hand picks our partners, Phoebes. Maybe He does, maybe He doesn’t. Maybe it’s more about making wise decisions. We know what He expects of us.”
Phoebe let out another sigh. “You’re most likely right. But it’s hard to let go when you’ve believed something for so long.”
“I know. But I think that God’s more interested in what happens inside us than what happens to us. Not that He’s not interested, but you know what I mean. And you’re doing really well.”
Tears pricked Phoebe’s eyes. “Thank you.” She didn’t think she was doing well, but Holly’s words encouraged her. She missed Reed so much, but maybe she didn’t need to beat herself up for noticing an attractive, caring man, especially if that man’s heart was open to the Lord. “Maybe I’ll get into my pyjamas after all.”
“Good. Would you like me to pray for you?”
Phoebe wiped her eyes. “That would be nice. Thank you.”
Crossing the floor, Holly sat on the bed and placed her hand lightly on Phoebe’s shoulder and began softly. “Dear Lord, bless my friend. Her heart is still heavy with sadness, but thank You for giving her strength to go on. Thank You that through her loss, she’s learning more about You and Your ways, and that You’re using her to bless others. Fill her with Your peace, and may she know how deeply You love and care for her. And Lord, we also pray for Nick. He’s so close to opening his heart to You, so we pray that he, too, might see for himself how broad and deep Your love is for him, and that he will respond by accepting Jesus as his Lord and Saviour. Thank You for bringing him here, Lord. We pray these things in Jesus’ precious name. Amen.”
“Amen.” Phoebe lifted her head and smiled. “Thank you.”
Holly pulled her tight and embraced her. “You’re more than welcome.”
Soon after, once the light was off, Phoebe lay in bed and prayed silently for herself and for Nick. She prayed that God would work in his heart, and that whatever His will was for her own life, that Nick would come to know Him and live his life for Him, because no other decision was more important. Before long, she drifted into a peaceful sleep.
The following morning, as they dressed and prepared for the day, Holly asked Phoebe what her thoughts were about staying at the mission or moving on, given that they still had another two months before they needed to return home.
Phoebe finished cleaning her teeth before replying, taking the few moments to think. As much as she’d like to stay, was it because she felt this was where God wanted them, or for other reasons she didn’t want to face? She didn’t know. Rinsing her mouth, she dried her toothbrush before putting it back in her toiletry bag and facing Holly. “I’m not sure, Holl. What do you think?”
“I’m tempted to visit that organisation in the Philippines, that Thomas mentioned, but I also don’t want to leave here.”
“I agree. It’s hard to make the choice to stay when there are so many other places that could use our help. But it’d be difficult to leave here, I agree. I’ve really grown attached to the children.”
Holly lifted an amused brow but didn’t say anything, but Phoebe knew what she was thinking. It wasn’t only the children she’d grown attached to, although she wouldn’t admit it. “Let’s stay. There’s no reason to move on.” Holly grinned into the mirror, catching Phoebe’s gaze.
Phoebe chuckled. Although there may have been another reason, staying felt right. She would be a friend to Nick and encourage him in his walk with Christ. She would have to battle a growing affection for him, but there was no reason why she couldn’t enjoy his company. They were friends, and that was an okay place to be.
Entering the mission building a short while later, an eerie silence filled the building instead of the usual happy chatter. Phoebe immediately sensed that something was wrong.
“What’s happened?” she asked one of the local nannies when she stepped inside the staff room to make a cup of coffee.
“A rescue took place last night.” The woman’s eyes moistened as she replied in a soft voice.
“Isn’t that a good thing?” Phoebe frowned, puzzled.
“One of the girls not make it. She only sixteen. The owner of the brothel try to fight police and she caught in middle. She die before help arrive. We rescue eighteen, but we grieve for one,” the nanny explained.
Phoebe couldn’t believe it. That poor girl. It was wonderful so many had been rescued, but how sad for the one who’d died when her rescue was imminent. The injustice was too much. The horror faced by the children and teens they worked with was unimaginable. How unfair that this young woman had come so close to freedom, only to have her life snuffed out at the last moment. Phoebe hoped she’d known Jesus.
The sadness was overwhelming, but the reality was that sex trafficking was happening in Australia as well. It was happening in Britain, in America. Everywhere. She couldn’t close her eyes to that fact, but here in Thailand, it was ever present. At least she and Holly had the chance to help in some small way while they were there to make life a little better for those children caught in it, and when she returned home, she’d find a way to help there, too. And maybe, just maybe, God was calling her to full-time mission work, but she still wasn’t sure.
Billionaires with Heart Boxset: Christian Romance Series Page 6