I blinked at her and even Kiwi was silent.
“What the heck does that mean?” I asked.
Mirabelle blinked. “Shakespeare. King Lear? No? Hm.” She shrugged and I could only shake my head at her. The tea had already begun lacing its way through my insides and I couldn’t quite muster the same desperation and fear as a moment ago.
But Kiwi wasn’t finished. She turned back to me and squeezed my hand even tighter than before, her gaze feverishly determined. “Mirabelle means that you shouldn’t lose hope. I’m sorry you’ve been so alone in this, Sam. You should have never gone off to the Obupa alone, but I understand why you did. Just know that we’re here for you now. We’re going to figure this out together.”
“Thank you,” I told her, already relieved knowing I wasn’t in this by myself anymore. “Brittany and RJ are great but… I think they’re too angry at Alex to want to help him right now. But I know Indra is connected to all of this. And the werewolves… it’s so much pressure and the voice inside me doesn’t let up about them.”
“Do you still get hairballs?” Mirabelle asked.
I nodded and swiped at a stray tear that had escaped.
Kiwi squeezed my hands. “From everything you told me, you know what to do. You just need to trust yourself.”
“Yes, but it’s only a theory. I haven’t tried it,” I said.
“Try it now,” Kiwi said.
My eyes widened and I shrank away from her. “I can’t. What if I hurt you?”
“You won’t,” she said gently but I shook my head.
“I could never forgive myself,” I said. “I can’t. Besides, what about the big reveal you wanted to talk to me about today?” I prodded. “Don’t I need to know whatever that is before we experiment?”
Kiwi smiled gently. “You already have all the power inside you that you need. I’ve known that for a very long time although it continues to amaze me when I see proof of it in action. But I did want to talk to you about the practical side of your healing. We’ve talked a lot about going with your instincts and while that’s always good advice both in the physical and the psychic planes, there is also the matter of applied knowledge.”
Mirabelle nodded. “This is true. I can’t tell you how confusing it was when I discovered my first familiar—” she began and I sensed a tangent but Kiwi cut her off.
“Do you know what an aura is, Sam? Or Reiki?”
“I’ve heard of an aura,” I said slowly. “What’s Ray-kee?”
“Reiki,” she corrected, spelling it out. “It’s a healing technique based on the principle that the healer can channel energy into the patient through touch.”
“I don’t know. I think my magic is dangerous when channeled into someone,” I said, thinking of Mason.
The women exchanged a look. “True, yours is something…more than Reiki,” Kiwi said.
“Much more,” Mirabelle mumbled, her eyes bright as if the idea of that was exciting rather than scary. Or maybe she was just high.
“Anyway, it’s something to study as I think it’s similar to what you’ve been gifted with,” Kiwi went on.
“And auras?” I asked, filing away her suggestion for later research. I was more excited and hopeful than I’d been in a while and very grateful for all the information they were offering.
I leaned forward in anticipation.
“Auras are sort of like a person’s energy signature,” Kiwi said.
“You have your own individual atmosphere that surrounds your person. Your psyche,” Mirabelle put in.
Kiwi nodded. “An aura is a commonplace term for the visible field that can be sensed with either the eyes or the mind of the energy worker.”
“Or scent,” Mirabelle said and I blinked at the idea that I could smell someone’s aura.
“It will reveal the dominant traits or thoughts of the person you’re viewing,” Kiwi said. “And their diseases.”
“Oh.” I sat up straighter. “So, I could see if they’re sick.”
“And where in their body the infection originates from. Like a roadmap. So you know where to direct the healing,” Kiwi said. “Or at least that’s what I understand.”
My pulse sped in excitement. “This is perfect. It would help me understand my magic and maybe even the werewolves’ infection. I could report to CHAS and—”
“First, you need to experience it,” Kiwi reminded me.
I swallowed hard at that. “Right.” I looked between them. “Could I practice seeing your auras?” I asked.
“Yes. But remember that once you reach for any darkness or disease, you are using your magic. So, if there are ill effects from letting off too much—”
“Never mind,” I said quickly, shaking my head forcefully. And we were back to square one. No way was I experimenting on Kiwi or Mirabelle. I couldn’t take the chance that I’d hurt them.
“You need a guinea pig?” Mirabelle asked suddenly.
We turned to look at her as she struggled to her feet. “I have just the thing. Wait here.” She walked out and a second later, I heard the back door open and close.
I looked at Kiwi, dreading Mirabelle’s return. “If she comes back inside with a dead animal, I am leaving you here,” I threatened.
Kiwi laughed but sobered quickly—no doubt realizing the real possibility of my prediction.
The sounds of the dirt bike out back suddenly went quiet.
A moment later, Mirabelle returned with RJ in tow.
“What’s going on?” I asked.
Without answering, RJ sat on the floor and yanked his pants down. I gasped and Kiwi made a similar noise. “Relax, ladies, I have shorts on,” he said.
And true to his word, I took in the sight of a pair of board shorts underneath his cargoes. I exhaled. “What the hell are you doing?” I demanded when I found my voice.
“Mirabelle asked me to show you what’s left of my wound,” he said. He sat down with his legs straight out in front of him.
Granny sat up, suddenly wide awake, and rose to her feet, stalking toward RJ as he yanked his shorts up and went to work undoing the bandage that still covered the place on his leg where he’d been bitten in Guam. He peeled the tape back and I recoiled at the sight of the wound.
“I thought you were healing,” I said almost as an accusation.
“It’s getting better,” he said with a shrug. “I’m still on anti-biotics but it’s going to take time.”
“But… it looks… bad,” I said finally, unable to sugarcoat it as I stared down at the two brown, oozing cuts that marred his thigh.
He looked back at me, brow raised. “Do you know anything about a bacterial skin infection?” he asked.
I shook my head, forcing my eyes away from the disgusting cuts. “I guess not.”
“Right, well, it’s pretty gnarly. It was literally eating my flesh before they got it under control with the meds.”
I shuddered. “You should be in the hospital,” I said.
“I was,” he reminded me. “Until you decided to go rogue and paint a target on your back running all over town looking for an instruction manual for magic.”
I winced. “I’m sorry—” I began.
“Don’t apologize,” he said, cutting me off. “It’s healing and I’m fine. Mirabelle gave me something for the discomfort.”
I looked at Mirabelle and my chest panged as I thought of the medicine she’d given Alex when he’d needed it. I gave her a look that hopefully conveyed my thanks.
“You want to test your skills,” Mirabelle said, gesturing to RJ’s leg. “Go for it.”
My eyes widened and I balked. “No, I couldn’t. What if I—”
“Sam, it’s fine,” RJ said. “Mirabelle asked me and I volunteered.” His expression hardened. “You can do this,” he added.
Everyone’s gaze turned to me. Even Granny looked up at me from where she’d been sniffing RJ’s leg warily.
I took a deep breath and slowly slid off the couch onto the floor. I crawled over
to where RJ sat and wrung my hands out uncertainly.
“You can do this,” RJ said again.
I nodded but still I didn’t move any closer to him. My fingertips tingled and my palms had gone cold and clammy. They were all right, of course. I had to try it sometime. With someone. And I hated to say it, but RJ was a better test subject than Kiwi or Mirabelle. I didn’t want to hurt him any more than I did them, but on the off-chance I finally figured this out, he needed my magic. He needed to be healed. And I wanted to redeem myself after that first failed attempt.
“I’m afraid,” I admitted.
Kiwi pressed something into my hand. “Use this,” she said.
My fingers closed over something hard and full of angles and the room exploded in white light before my eyes. I gasped and dropped what could only be the epidote stone. When my vision cleared, I glared at Kiwi whose jaw hung wide.
“Warn a girl before you do that,” I hissed.
“Right. Sorry,” she mumbled, clearly awed by the force of my reaction.
I took a deep breath and blinked a few times, finally focusing on RJ’s leg. I tried not to make a face at the sight of the disgusting brown ooze bubbling at the corners of the cuts. Was that normal?
I didn’t ask.
“It’s time to put all this knowledge to use,” RJ encouraged.
“Use the stone,” Kiwi reminded me. “And look at him while you hold it. Look for his aura.”
“Look with your heart, not your eyes,” Mirabelle added.
I braced myself and picked up the stone. Again, the room exploded in white light and I was overwhelmed with the urge to shut my eyes and let it propel me up and out of this room and out of my body—as before.
Instead, I gritted my teeth and held the stone tightly in my fist. The sharp angles of the stone’s shape bit into my skin but I held tight anyway. With determination and all the inner strength I possessed, I forced my eyes to remain open and I swiveled my head from the back wall to where RJ sat before me.
Sure enough, a pulse of energy shimmered and shone around the edges of his body. It was a cloud-like fog that I wasn’t entirely convinced wouldn’t bend and move if I poked at it with my finger. It looked so solid and so ethereal at the same time.
“Do you see it?” Kiwi asked.
I nodded, not trusting my voice. Thankfully, I didn’t smell anything.
“Good. Use it to find the area you must target. Call your magic.”
I did as she said, letting the energy inside me flow up and out to the very edges of my own skin. When it threatened to spill over, I gasped, sucking it back in, terrified of doing damage.
RJ didn’t make a sound.
Deliberately, I reached for him and placed my hand on his knee. I couldn’t bear to touch his wound. Aside from the disgust at the idea of getting any of that gunk on my skin, it didn’t feel right to touch it directly. The magic was like a lighthouse, guiding me this way and that, and for once, I let it decide.
My hand settled over his knee, lightly at first and then firmer as I studied the way his aura glowed and pulsed. White at the edges and then a muddy gray in the center that turned darker as I studied it.
I hesitated, unsure what to do with this new ability—but the magic seemed to know. “What do I do now?” I asked in a strained voice.
Kiwi’s voice was soft but insistent. “Listen to the magic.”
“It wants me to…” I couldn’t even finish. It hurt too much to talk and hold the rock and not let the stone fly me away. “Doesn’t he have to give his permission?”
“I give you—” RJ began.
“No,” Kiwi said quickly. “Do it without,” she said. I shook my head, ready to argue, but Kiwi added, “His aura will let you know. You don’t need his words.”
I had absolutely no idea what that meant. Or what to do next. But before I could ask, Sushna’s voice echoed in my mind. “You are a taker. The yin and yang.”
I bit my lip and dug deeper into RJ’s energy.
The muddy gray of his aura called to me, pulsing in a rhythm that seemed to beckon me closer. An invitation. Like Kiwi had said. I had no idea if it was enough. I leaned in—with no concept of whether my physical body was actually moving or if this was all in my head now.
The silvery-gray blotted out the white energy field, coating the otherwise shiny façade of the cloud surrounding RJ’s body. It was the only thing out of place. The only color in the myriad that wasn’t pure and radiant. That had to be the area Kiwi meant for me to hone in on. Without using words, I prodded at the gray matter. It shoved me back and I almost lost my balance and went tumbling right out of the trance.
But I refocused and tried again, this time prodding instead at the white light of the aura’s edges. It welcomed me with open arms and with a gasp I was thrown into the midst of RJ’s psyche. All colors of the rainbow seemed to radiate outward. Some brighter than others, and I had to blink against their brightness.
I had no idea what they all meant—if anything—the way they sat lazily in some corners but braided together in others. One thing was for sure, though: I was in.
And it was miles farther than anywhere I’d managed to get before.
Gathering my focus and calling all the energy I could to my shaking hands, I listened to the magic.
It was a whisper but it wasn’t quiet. A roaring urge that pushed me onward, guiding my fingers and my mind like a seeing-eye dog or a guide. My gut twisted at the idea of simply trusting it. What if I ruined it? What if I hurt RJ?
But I’d tried using my mind or fighting my own intuition. It was time to do what the magic asked. So, instead of fumbling along and trying to give RJ the healing that rose in me like the Knowing always seemed to do, I gave into the urging inside me. I listened to the magic. And I took.
As if it were a rope, I latched on to RJ’s silvery-gray infection and tugged. At first it didn’t budge but then slowly, inch by inch, I used the magic that I held literally in my fingertips and pulled the disgusting and muddied bacteria up and out of him.
It poured into me until my hands and arms pulsed with it and then it sank lower, into my stomach, causing a violent ache. Then lower, into my own thigh. I moaned and almost fell over as the pain hit but a pair of hands came around my shoulders, holding me up.
Voices—lost to the light and the tugging of my own magic—swirled around me. I couldn’t hear a word.
There was no room for the awareness of their language, anyway. And what was language but a pattern of sounds that helped communicate thoughts, ideas, and feelings?
There was no room for that here inside me now.
It was only pain. Dirty, muddying, flesh-eating pain. I wondered vaguely if my own skin would look so wasted when I’d finished. But I didn’t stop. The stone dug into my palm until I was sure I was bleeding from the effort. Like a roar in my ears, my own gasps came loudly as I panted in time to the pain pulsing through me.
RJ’s aura slowly cleared and when the last of the muddy gray had been sucked away, I dropped the stone suddenly and sagged until the hands holding me gently lowered me to the floor.
My thigh ached and throbbed.
I pressed my forehead to the floor, using the magic inside me to ease the burning of my own skin. It wasn’t even a conscious decision. I hadn’t even been sure it would work. But within minutes, the haze cleared and the pain dialed away as the energy inside me ate at and then overtook the foreign bacteria.
When I finally managed to pry my lids open, they drooped in exhaustion. I sat up with the help of Kiwi beside me and looked up to see RJ leaning down, studying his leg closely. Our eyes met. He grinned and his gaze flicked to his olive skin, now smooth except for two small scars that looked more like birthmarks or freckles.
“You did it, Sam,” he said, but there wasn’t surprise or shock in his tone. Only pride. And it made me smile weakly.
He reached for me and drew me into an awkward hug and I felt the pounding of his heart. Or maybe it was mine. Healing magic didn�
��t exactly come with anesthesia for either party.
“You okay?” he asked, drawing back to study me when my grip on him went suddenly limp.
I nodded. “You?” I asked, searching him for some sign of residual pain or damage. But his smile was wide and his gaze clear as he nodded.
“Better than I’ve been in a while,” he said. His gaze flickered to my forehead and then down to his newly healed thigh. “You think you have a scar to match mine?”
“More than likely,” I told him and his grin widened.
“Cool. So we’re like blood brothers,” he said. Then his forehead wrinkled. “Or maybe pus brothers?” I groaned, struggling to sit up. “Bacteria brothers?”
“We are not brothers because I’m not a guy,” I pointed out. And I will never be pus-anything with you.”
I sat up straighter and found Mirabelle watching me. Her eyes gleamed with pride and relief as she studied me and my chest swelled with something very similar. I’d actually done it. Thanks to Mirabelle’s hours of teaching me even when I tried to resist. And thanks to both women taking time to sit with me now and believe in me when I didn’t believe in myself.
I was thrilled—and exhausted. “How about another round of tea?” I asked.
Mirabelle’s eyes lit at my request. “Coming right up,” she said, scrambling to her feet and disappearing into the kitchen.
Granny appeared in front of me, rubbing against my arm with the top of her head and purring loudly. She sat down right on my hand and looked up at me; another clear message.
“I’m not going anywhere,” I told her, my heart pounding.
But we both knew that wasn’t true. As soon as I could walk, I was leaving and heading straight for the hospital. RJ wasn’t the first friend I’d failed to heal. Mason might not be able to give me his permission with words but if his aura was anything like RJ’s, maybe I didn’t need it. I was going to remove whatever darkness that held him captive, and then I was going to do the same to Alex Channing. Indra might have taken the poison from his veins, but I was going to take his heart.
Just as soon as I recovered from the tea.
Chapter Eleven
Esperance: (New Adult Paranormal Romance) (Heart Lines Series Book 3) Page 10