I walked down the street, a dorky smile on my face. I couldn't hide it, I couldn't remove it. The feeling of exhilaration was palpable. I must have looked slightly mad to anyone who passed me by.
I turned into the underground parking lot where I'd left my car. It was dreary in there, my footsteps echoing around and bouncing off the wide walls.
I approached my car and pulled my keys from my handbag. I fitted them into the car door and turned, hearing the lock click loudly. Then, piercing the silence, a voice reached my ears.
“Still driving that thing?” The voice was cold, sending a shiver down my spine.
My heart froze as I turned around, my eyes widening at the man in front of me.
“Brad...what are you doing here?” My words shook, threatening to break.
I could feel my breathing intensify and my pulse begin to soar as he looked on at me, that creepy stare that I thought I'd escaped forever on me once more. He smiled a wide smile, his entire face lighting up. But it wasn't a warm light, it was cold and distant, weird and sinister.
“I'm here to see you Elle. Why did you leave without saying goodbye?” His eyes were turning mournful and hurt. The sudden change in his expression was completely unsettling.
I saw his hand reaching into his pocket and took a step back, pressing against the door of my car. I reached for the door and pulled, opening it slightly behind me.
“I really can't talk now Brad. I have to go.” My voice trembled with nerves like my body.
I had no idea what to say to him, no idea what he'd do.
“You never did have any time for me did you? Not in the end. Not with all your new friends.” His eyes were beginning to harden again.
“That's not true Brad. You know what happened. You know why I left.”
His face stiffened hugely. “What did I do? Propose to you? Love you? What was wrong with that?!” His voice was more intense now, his words shattering the silence and cascading around the walls.
He seemed unstable, like a volcano that could blow at any minute. He looked even more erratic than he had before, his eyes full of fire and jealousy and rage.
“I don't know what you want me to say Brad. We grew apart. I'm sorry.”
I had to be careful with my words. I had no idea what he'd do in the state he was in.
“All I ever wanted was you to love me like I loved you. We were so good together and then you just abandoned me. You left me alone.”
I slid to the side and began opening the door to the car.
“I can't say anything except I'm sorry,” I said carefully, trying to calm him down. “I never wanted to hurt you.”
His eyes drifted towards the door of the car as it slowly opened.
“Trying to escape again are you? Why do you always run from me? I love you Elle. I would never hurt you.”
The way he said it made me think the opposite, his words sliding over one another likes snakes. I could feel my hand shaking on the door. All I wanted to do was jump inside, gun the engine, and escape.
I turned from him and stepped slowly into the car, as if I was dealing with a wild animal, as if a sudden movement would cause him to strike.
I felt his arm grab at my shoulder, pulling me back and pushing me up against the car. I couldn't talk or think or move as he leaned in closer, his eyes boiling over.
“You never loved me did you,” he growled, his voice low and intense and full of hate. He said he loved me, but I could only feel the opposite.
“I would have done anything for you Elle, anything. You broke my heart, smashed it into a million pieces. You owe me.”
He leaned in and planted his lips onto mine, his hand sliding to the side of my face. I felt my heart exploding in my chest,as his thin lips pressed against my own, a tear rolling out of his eye.
I was paralyzed, helpless, my body limp and drained of energy. He leaned back, tears dripping from his eyes. “I'll never love anyone like you Elle,” he said, “I need you back.”
He moved in again as I made a move to scream, to shout out for help, but my voice was lost, stifled by his cold lips. I searched with my eyes for someone nearby but there was no one there, the parking lot as silent as a dungeon.
Then, from nowhere I heard footsteps rushing down behind him, and a voice, shouting in the distance.
“Elle, Elle.”
It was Lexi, running down towards me.
Brad leaned back and turned, seeing the girl rushing down. He looked like a deer caught in the headlights, glancing round to the left and right for an escape route.
Then, without a second thought, he sprung away, sprinting off to the left and through a door. It slammed heavily as Lexi reached me, rushing in to give me a hug.
“Elle, are you OK. Who was that? What's going on?”
My legs gave way and I collapsed to the floor, my pulse galloping, my breathing short and sharp and intense. Tears gushed from my eyes as Lexi joined me on the floor, squeezing my hand and asking me what was wrong over and over.
I couldn't speak or think. My whole body was shivering in fear, turning over on itself.
I began to see spots, everything beginning to blur, Lexi's worried face in front of me fading away.
Then, suddenly, everything went black.
Chapter 21 - Crash
Crash
My breathing was intense now. Not intense through exertion or fear, but anticipation. I licked my lips at the thought of what was going to come. I was about to get revenge.
“And where exactly are you?”
Jones told me the address. “It's an abandoned barn outside the city. Miles from anywhere, completely safe. We won't have any visitors, don't worry.”
“And is he still out?”
“He is. I gave him a small dose. He should be coming round shortly.”
“OK. I'll be with you soon. Don't do anything until I get there. I want to look this motherfucker in the eye before he leaves this world.”
I shut the phone off and dialed another number. It rang and picked up quickly.
“It's time,” I said.
The was silence on the other end.
“I'm going to text you the address. Memorize it and delete it. I'll see you there in 30 minutes.”
I shut the phone off once more and stood, my legs heavy. It felt like nerves, but different. Nerves of excitement, nerves that signalled the culmination of a journey. For months my mind had been dominated with thoughts of retribution, of vengeance. Now I was about to see my promise to my father kept.
I'm doing this for you father. I hope you're watching.
....
“Remove it,” I said to Jones as he stood next to the man seated fixed to a chair.
He grabbed the hood that was covering Lithgow's head and pulled it off him.
Lithgow's eyes widened immediately at the sight of me, his words muffled by the tape covering his mouth. He mumbled loudly and thrashed around in the chair, his eyes growing in fear as he looked around the room.
He sat in the center of an old barn, a trickling of rain dripping through cracks in the ceiling. The space was filthy and full of old equipment, rusted and disused. Old pitchforks and spades clanged lightly as they swayed in the breeze, the wind whistling in through holes in the weak wooden walls.
I leaned in to him and whispered, his eyes coming back to mine and showing his terror. It was the look I had wanted to see for some time.
“Now, I'm going to remove the tape around your mouth. There is no one nearby so please don't dishonor yourself by screaming out.”
I looked for agreement in his eyes before standing up and grabbing at the loose end of his gag, ripping it quickly off his face as he yelped in pain.
His jaw was set firm, clenched, his eyes now beginning to burn. Fear, hatred, anger. They were all the sort of emotions I wanted him to feel before he died. I wanted him to know what my father must have felt. I wanted him to suffer as my father had suffered.
I walked casually over to the side of the barn a
nd grabbed an old stool, placing it a couple of meters in front of him and sitting down. Jones stood behind him to the side, his own eyes betraying him. He was always so calm, so collected, so professional. But right now I could sense he wanted personal revenge as I did.
I pulled a cigar from my pocket and lit it up, dragging the moment out as long as I could. He couldn't take it any more, his words slipping out from between gritted teeth.
“What am I doing here Crash?! What the fuck do you think you're doing?”
I raised my head to him, puffing nonchalantly on my cigar.
“I think you know.”
He shook his head vigorously, his voice beginning to rise in response to my callous relaxation. “I have no fucking idea! I gave you what you wanted. I got your project off the ground. What the fuck else do you want with me.”
The stupid old shit was defiant to the end.
“Don't play dumb Walter,” I said. “It won't save you.”
His breathing began to increase, his eyes beginning to widen in fear one again. “Save me? What are you going to do?”
I leaned in on my stool, speaking slowly to elicit maximum impact.
“I'm going to kill you Walter. End your miserable fucking life.”
“No, no, you can't. Why would you? What have I done to deserve this? I helped you, I can still help you.” He was growing more frantic once more, shaking in his chair, the realization dawning on his stupid fucking head.
“You thought you would get away with it?” I asked. “For killing my father?”
He shook his head even more ferociously now, his eyebrows furrowing in confusion.
“Your father? No, I had nothing to do with that. I could never kill anyone. I'd never do that. Your father was an old friend. Why would I do that to him? I've never hurt anyone in my life.”
The guy was a good actor I'll give him that. I guess when faced with your own death you'd do and say just about anything to survive.
“An old friend? Do old friends screw each other over? Do old friends try to destroy each others businesses? You were no old friend of my father. Not after what you did.”
He kept this look of utter bewilderment on his face. “No, that was just business, and years ago. Why would I kill your father over that?”
“Because he was coming for you!” I said quickly. “Because YOU were next on his list. You had to get there first, I understand that. I'd have done the same. But, unfortunately, my hand has also been forced. Someone needs to answer for his death.”
“BUT I HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH IT. NOTHING!” he shouted, his words impassioned.
At that the door behind me creaked open, the sound of the rain outside growing louder. I stood and turned suddenly to see Kyle walking in, his eyes looking over the scene in front of him. He looked pale, sick almost, his skin pallid and eyes dark.
“Why are you so late?” I questioned fiercely.
He shook his head, his voice weak. “I'm sorry, I - got lost.” It sounded like a lie.
I looked him up and down. He looked as though he was about to throw up. Pull yourself together man, for fucks sake.
“Well you're here now. Kyle, meet Walter Lithgow, the man who murdered our father.”
“No, no, I didn't do it. You have to believe me.” His eyes landed on Kyle, noticing his uneasy complexion.
“Kyle, I didn't do it. Please, I didn't kill your father. I never would do that. Please, don't let him kill me.”
I walked up to him and grabbed at his hair, pulling his neck up and staring down into his eyes.
“Shut. Your. Mouth. Your pleas won't save you Walter. You're a fucking snake. Your silver tongue will get you nowhere this time. You can't manipulate your way out of this one.”
I nodded to Jones as he kept on screaming and crying his innocence. I'd had enough of it, I couldn't hear any more. Jones stepped forward and launched his fist into the side of Lithgow's face, his head rocking on his neck and falling forward. That shut him up.
A silence now fell on us, the clattering of rain on the roof of the barn the only sound.
I turned back towards Kyle, who looked at Lithgow's now limp body, his eyes mournful.
“Maybe he's telling the truth,” he said in a whisper, his eyes not deviating from the figure in the chair. “Maybe he didn't kill father.”
I felt a pang inside me, something not fitting together. I couldn't place it, but my lust for revenge was beginning to desert me. What if it wasn't him? Was this all just a big mistake?
No, it was all lies. He'd done it his whole life, lied and manipulated people to get what he wanted. Now he was trying to lie his way out of trouble, saying anything to save his life. He didn't deserve to live. For everything he'd done, for everyone he'd hurt and screwed over, he deserved what was coming to him.
I reached for my belt and pulled out a gun. Kyle's eyes flared at the sight of it.
“Crash, no. You can't do this.”
I didn't listen to him. I didn't care what he had to say.
“Crash, you don't know he did it. He might be innocent.”
I lifted the gun to Lithgow's body, aiming it at his chest. My hand was shaking slightly, my finger locked to the trigger. I could hear Kyle pleading to me at my side, asking me to stop and think, to see reason.
I was blind to him now, though. I had come this far, there was no turning back.
My finger squeezed tighter, the trigger about to pop. I stood there for what seemed like hours, my arm getting heavy, my hand continuing to shake as the tip of the gun swayed around Lithgow's body.
I was breathing heavily, a grimace on my face, my eyes beginning to well up. This man had killed my father, robbed him of life. He needed to die.
But I'd never killed a man. I'd never gone that far. I thought it would be easy. I thought I'd almost enjoy it. I had dreamed of seeing someone pay for what they'd done, dreamed of being the one to do the job.
But now that I stood there, I couldn't do it. I couldn't take this man's life.
I felt a hand on my arm, the touch light. I looked up, the barn coming back into focus, and saw Jones. His eyes were like steel, his face expressionless.
“You should leave Crash,” he said quietly. “You don't need to do this. It's better to keep your hands clean.”
He slid the gun from my hand, my finger softening over the trigger as it slipped from my grasp.
“Walk away Crash. Leave everything to me. I'll see it done.”
Jones nodded at Kyle and I felt his arm at my back, turning me towards the door. He walked me towards it, the rain splattering down onto my head as I emerged into the dark evening.
I felt completely numb. I had no idea what to feel.
“I'm proud of you brother,” said Kyle as we walked. “Taking a life is nothing to be proud of.”
It looked like tears were dropping from his eyes but I couldn't tell, not in the rain.
A bolt of lightning shot down from the heavens in the distance, followed shortly by a heavy crack of thunder. The rain began increasing as we stood there, my clothes growing drenched as I looked up to the dark clouds. Another crack of thunder followed quickly by another.
But it wasn't thunder this time. It was the sound of gunshots.
Chapter 22 - Elle
Elle
I sat in a hospital bed, Tess and Alice and Lexi around me. They were pleading with me, asking me to see sense.
“Go to the cops for Christ's sake Elle. The guy's fucking dangerous. Get a restraining order against him.”
A restraining order. I'd heard it all before from many others. All of my friends back in California had sung the same tune. Now my new friends were demanding I do it as well.
“Yeah Elle, if you get a restraining order he won't be able to come near you or he'll be put in fucking jail. Sounds like that's where he belongs.”
I didn't say a word. I'd only been awake for 10 minutes or so.
When Lexi had come running in, the world went fuzzy around me, everything fading in front
of my eyes. She said I'd passed out right there in the parking lot.
She'd managed to lift me into the car and drove me to the hospital. It was nothing, I'd just fainted, but she wanted to be sure. I thanked her for that as soon as I woke.
Now it was dawning on me though. Brad was back in my life, haunting my steps. He'd been there in the audience as I danced. How long had he been watching me? How long had he been in town?
It wasn't that he'd ever made any real threats of violence against me. It was more a suggestion in the way he spoke, the way he looked at me. Back in California and now here he'd told me he'd always love me, that he'd never hurt me.
His actions, however, spoke otherwise.
But a restraining order? Was it even possible to get one. I had no evidence that he was stalking me, I never did. It was just a feeling I got back home, knowing his eyes were constantly searching me out. Didn't you need some sort of real threat against you to get a restraining order? Didn't you need evidence?
No one really got it. All my friends just went on what I told them, filling in the gaps and assuming he'd been violent against me or threatened to kill me or something.
The truth was, I felt kinda sorry for him. He'd loved me so much and I abandoned him. I'd hurt him more than anyone ever could. So I tolerated his stares. I tolerated it when he told me he still loved me. I tolerated it because I understood the sort of pain he must have been feeling.
That's why I left. I left so he could move on as much as I could. I left so that both of us could get on with our lives. I'd hoped that my absence would have brought him some peace, that he'd have found someone else and given up hope that I'd ever take him back.
But no. He was here. He'd tracked me down. I was back at square one.
The door to the room opened up and a nurse walked in.
“Right ladies,” she said. “You're going to have to step back and give me some room. There's a few tests I need to do.”
“But she just fainted, that's all. Can't we take her home?” It was Lexi.
“There is no such thing as just fainting. Most of the time it's harmless but on some occasions it's a symptom of a more serious problem.”
CRASH (A Logan Brothers Novel) Page 13