I slipped my hand into his, and he squeezed my fingers. “I don’t know what to say, except that I’m sorry if I played a part in this.”
“Did you tell the president of the Devils to go after me?”
“I think you know the answer to that.”
“Then this isn’t your fault at all. Just… I don’t want to cause trouble, Jemmie. Killian made it clear to all of us before we rode up here that he wanted us to behave. He’s worked for years to resurrect this club after what happened to Henry and the others, and I’d say he’s just about done it. So the last thing I want to do is start some kind of war.”
“Letting Killian know you’re safe is probably the best thing you can do, then.”
He let go of my hand. “I guess I will. It’s just…”
“What?”
“It’s so fucking humiliating, Jem. I try to have a good attitude. I’ve tried for years. But sometimes it feels like more than I can bear.”
“Having so little magic, you mean?”
“I wanted to fight back. I want to fight back. I’m not weak.”
“I know you’re not, Darek.” My heart ached for him, for the tortured look on his face. “I know it’s hard.”
“You can’t know how it feels,” he whispered. “And I’ve had to do this alone. I’ve always been alone. At least your dad is still alive.”
“I’m sorry. I know you miss your parents a lot.”
“You know, it’s funny. My dad died on the same stretch of road that took out Michael Medici. Quite the coincidence.”
“I didn’t know.”
He shrugged. “Didn’t seem worth mentioning. Killian knew my dad really well—they were raised together. So he got a nice couple to take me in. Used to come visit me from time to time.” He chuckled. “I guess he wanted to keep an eye on me. Make sure I was brought up right.” His sad smile faded. “But like I’ve told you, they were drecks, Jem. They didn’t understand me. Sometimes I wondered if he did that on purpose.”
“Because he knew you didn’t have a dominant power?”
“You said it, not me,” he grumbled. “It took a lot of convincing to get him to let me prospect. I finally talked him into it, though. I’m gonna prove myself to him.”
“You will. And I’m not saying I know how you feel, but I do know what it’s like to feel alone, and to be different from others around you. I know it sucks.”
He sat up, not meeting my gaze. “Since I can’t text Killian, I guess I’d better get back to the grounds.”
“Are you going to confront Crowe?” I knew Crowe was tough, and I knew he hated the Deathstalkers and suspected they had a hand in Michael’s death, but Darek was no threat to him. His only crime had been looking at me.
I wouldn’t have thought Crowe cared about that. He thought I was a distraction and nothing more.
“The last thing I want is to play a part in starting another war between the Stalkers and the Devils,” Darek said. “It’s the opposite of what my club needs, and I pledged to protect my club. A man’s got to be able to take a beating, and that’s one thing I can do.” He smiled, then winced as it pulled at a cut on his cheek. “Pretty well, at least.”
Anger ran hot through my veins. “This is wrong, Darek. Crowe needs to face what he did.”
“I’m not the one to make him. I’ll tell them I drank too much and walked into a tree or something.” He got to his feet with a groan, then tugged my hand and pulled me up next to him. “I’m sorry Alex is missing. She’s a tough, smart girl, and I’m sure she’s fine. She was awfully pissed at her brother, though. Maybe she decided to remind him of the importance of family or something.”
“Yeah,” I murmured. “Maybe.” But it was now late afternoon, and my friend was nowhere to be found. Untraceable even with locant magic. “I won’t feel good until we find her, though.”
“You’re an amazing friend, Jemmie.” He ran his fingertip along my cheek. “I’m glad you’re one of mine.”
I looked up at him. “And I’m glad you’re okay.” I took in the cuts and bruises on his face. “Mostly okay, at least.”
His hand slid around my waist. “Right now I’m feeling pretty damn good.” He lowered his head and pressed his lips to mine, and I blinked in surprise. It felt… it felt like a kiss. Soft and gentle, warm and minty from his breath, along with a hint of stale cigarette. If I had planned to kiss him regularly, I would have told him to quit that nasty habit, but…
He lifted his head and gave me a smile. “I’ve been wanting to do that for about a year now.”
I smiled back, though my insides were squirming. “And?”
“Amazing,” he whispered. He cupped the back of my head and crushed his lips to mine. My thoughts flew in a thousand directions as I felt his tongue skim my bottom lip. Did I want this? Darek was so sweet, and so nice, and so hot, but for some reason, being this close to him didn’t light up my insides like being next to Crowe did. Which sucked, because if Darek was telling the truth, Crowe wasn’t the man I’d begun to believe him to be. He was more like the man everyone else thought he was, and that was a man I didn’t like all that much.
“Choose me, Jemmie,” Darek murmured against my mouth. “I want you so much.” His tongue slid between my lips, and his arms tightened around me, and all of a sudden my head was swimming with dizziness, light exploding behind my closed eyelids, my heart pattering unsteadily as my tongue captured a hint of bitterness from his last smoke. Darek sensed me swaying and lowered his face to my neck. “You feel it, don’t you?”
With the room spinning, I clutched at his shoulders to keep myself upright. “I… have to think about this. I don’t want to move too fast.”
I braced for him to resist, but his hands dropped away from me, and he kissed my forehead. As I opened my eyes, I could see my own locant magic winding around us, like I’d lost control of it in the heat of the moment. I took a step away from Darek and turned to lean against the wall. “There’s just a lot going on right now, okay?”
“Okay,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to push you. But I need you to know where I stand. I’m in love with you, Jemmie.” His voice broke over the words. “I’m tired of being alone.”
I squeezed my eyes shut. “We’ll talk later, all right? I’m so glad you’re okay.”
He touched my shoulder as I inhaled the minty scent. “Later. Be careful tonight.”
“You too.”
I listened to the sound of his footsteps through the house, the click of the front door closing. I could offer to drive him back to the festival, but I needed space. I needed time. I needed to figure myself out. I dragged myself over to the bed and collapsed on it, feeling like all my plans and energy and strength had just swirled down the drain, along with my understanding of Crowe.
Alex was still missing, and that had to be the priority. Old Lady Jane was still predicting something would happen at the festival, and she’d told me I was part of it. She’d said I was a thread dangling in the wind, and she didn’t know where I’d end up, who I’d end up with.
I closed my eyes and tried to summon the will to face it all, but right then, all I really wanted was a nap.
FOURTEEN
I JERKED AWAKE WITH A START TO THE SOUND OF MY MOM coming in the front door, keys jangling. Blinking in the darkness, I pulled my clock over and peered at it. “Shit,” I whispered. It was after eight. I’d slept for four hours.
“Jemmie?”
“Yeah,” I croaked. My mom was in the doorway and flicking on the lights as I swung my legs off the bed.
“You all right?”
“I’m fine. Just needed a nap.”
She pulled the tie from her dark hair and it cascaded messily over her shoulders. “I smell like french fry grease. I’m gonna take a shower and put some dinner on. You want to stay in and watch a movie with me?”
“I was actually going to head back to the festival. We still haven’t found Alex.”
Mom’s brows drew together. “Did anyone try a
locator spell?”
“We’ve tried a lot of things.” I didn’t want to get into it right now—all I could do was hope that she’d magically be there when I got back to the festival. “I’ll keep you posted.”
She nodded. “Did you catch up with Darek today?”
“Um.” I played with the frayed edge of my bedspread. “Very briefly.”
“What about Crowe?”
I sighed. “No comment. But I don’t think either thing is going anywhere. They’re both wrong for me.”
“Doesn’t always mean it won’t go anywhere,” she said, and it was to her credit that she only sounded mildly bitter.
“Mom, did you know why Dad left?”
“I knew he’d done some things he regretted and had a falling-out with Michael. But our relationship was coming apart before that. So it was really the combination of the two. I know it was hard for you.”
I shrugged one shoulder. “I wish one of you had explained it to me. I thought he left because he was disappointed in me. I know that sounds totally childish, but it made sense at the time. In some ways it still does. The thing about me he’s most interested in is magic, and whether I’m doing it.”
“He loves you, Jem. Might not always be good at showing it, but he does. Magic is the thing he thought he had in common with you. When it looked like you might be a little more like me…” She raised her arms from her sides to show off how absolutely unmagical she was, but I knew she had a bit of it in there. In fact, there was the faintest of pearlescent glows around her in this light.
“I’m not like either of you.” I had magic. And I had this other thing, the sensitivity to it. Somehow, I had to figure out how to manage both in order to do what Jane said, to play my part. “But I’m trying to figure out where I belong.”
“You will. And… I’m sorry about Darek. Less sorry about Crowe.”
I rolled my eyes miserably. “Yeah, me too.”
She left me then, and a moment later I heard the shower start to run. Stretching, I stood up, ran a brush through my tangled hair, and paused in front of the closet, thinking of all my plans for my casting kit, the spells I wanted to practice.
Then I remembered that the man I’d wanted to protect had beaten up a guy just for looking at me funny. “Seems like he can protect himself,” I muttered, then grabbed my keys and headed out. I wanted to know if Alex or Katrina had shown up. If they had, the festival was the place they’d be.
I paused at the front door, remembering the bottle of Jack behind my bed. Should I try to dull myself down to get through the night? My fingers tightened on the doorjamb.
“No,” I whispered. This was something I needed to face. Crowe had been right about that—I had to be brave enough to push through it, and I wanted to be sharp in case I needed my actual magic. Decision made, I walked out of the house and left the bottle behind.
The lot was packed when I arrived back at the festival, and people were streaming onto the grounds for the second night. As I got out of the car, magic hung above the tents like a pollution haze, and the scents danced in the air, flickering through my awareness. I took a deep breath and forced myself to focus, mentally tallying what I detected, pulling each color and smell apart.
Venemon. Animalia. Animus. Invictus. Inlusio. Locant. Arma. Terra. Omnias. I had run into each one and could now distinguish them if I was paying close enough attention. None of them smelled like the terrible smoldering stench I had detected just before Crowe and I were hit with lethal hexes. I wished I knew what it was—but I was also glad I couldn’t pick it up nearby.
“I can do this,” I whispered, shuddering. Without the benefit of alcohol, it all felt sharper and brighter, but, I admit, I also felt slightly more in control of it. I headed up the path slowly, behind crowds of people. Some were gossiping about Katrina and Alex disappearing, and some were whispering about the tension between the clubs. I quickened my steps, heading for the Medici tent. I didn’t really want to talk to Crowe, but I thought maybe Lori would be able to give me an update.
I pushed through the hanging flaps over the entrance to the tent and ran face-first into Crowe’s chest. He caught my arms and looked down at me, smiling. “Where have you been?”
I pulled myself out of his grasp. “Home. I was tired.”
He frowned. “Are you okay?”
“Fine. Did the meeting go well? Any leads?”
“No leads. Killian didn’t even bother to show up, and his people claim they don’t know where he is—they’re grumbling that maybe he’s missing, too, but I’m not buying it.” His expression had gone dark and dangerous. “Especially since it turns out his prospect wasn’t missing after all.”
“Oh, really?”
He went on, seemingly too wrapped up in what had happened to detect the suspicion in my voice. “I haven’t been able to reach Flynn for the past few hours, either. I’ve got Jackson and Brooke out hunting for him. I met with the leaders of the other clubs. Ronan, Terrence, and Ren volunteered members to guard the perimeter, and I did as well. Everyone works in teams. No one goes it alone. Assuming we manage not to kill each other, it seems like the best way.”
“True,” I said. “Walking through the woods by oneself seems like a great way to get beat up.”
Crowe arched an eyebrow. “Yeah,” he said, drawing out the word. “I guess so.”
I looked at him steadily. “Did Darek say what happened to him?”
Crowe tilted his head to the side and looked at me through narrowed eyes. “He said he got drunk and ended up in a ditch, basically.”
“And everyone believed that?”
“I wanted to question him about my sister, but he insists she drove off alone. Not sure I believe him, but I can’t push it right now, not with Katrina missing and Ronan stomping around about it. I’ve got Hardy keeping an eye on him, though. If he has done something to them—”
“He was the one who was hurt, Crowe.”
“That’s what he wants everyone to believe, sure.”
“Ugh.” I turned and stalked away, but Crowe grabbed my arm and wheeled me around.
“What’s wrong with you tonight?” he asked. “I was worried about you this evening. Jane said she spoke to you. I wondered if maybe she said something, or—”
“What’s wrong with me? I thought I knew you, and then I come to find out that you’re the type of person who beats up innocent people!”
“What the fuck are you talking about?”
“Darek,” I shouted. “You jumped him in the woods!”
“Who told you that?” Crowe’s face went from confused to grim in a fraction of a second. “Oh, I get it. I saw the look he gave you in the tent last night and wondered about you guys. I mean, I knew you two hooked up last year, but—”
“Hooked up? He was my friend!” I yelled. “And believe me, I really needed one.”
Crowe held his hands up, but no magic was coming from them now. “You think I beat up your friend? That’s the kind of guy you think I am?”
“You don’t exactly have a history of hashing things out nonviolently.”
Crowe ran his tongue along his bottom lip, and my stomach tightened. “At least I know what you think of me now. Did your dad help convince you? He came to town just looking for an excuse to bind me. Meanwhile no one’s taking a close look at Killian Delacroix, who can plant thoughts in people’s heads and make them do stuff they aren’t even aware of. Everyone’s forgotten who his brother was and what he did. That guy needs to be taken off the street, Jemmie. He’s dangerous.”
I stared at him. “So are you, Crowe.”
“Yes, I am. I won’t apologize for that. I took responsibility for this club and everything that came with it. I’ll defend it to the death if I have to.” His jaw clenched, and he looked around. Then he pulled me off the path, heading for a more isolated spot at the bottom of a low hill. “I think Killian is trying to finish what his brother started. I think that’s why he’s here. He’s good at messing with people’s minds
, so no one would suspect. He could have even used Katrina to attack us this morning—that’s exactly the kind of thing he could do.”
I thought back to this morning. I hadn’t sensed much animus magic, crimson and coppery, during that brawl, though there had been red streaks mixed with black around the two people who had cursed us. “Killian seems to want peace more than almost anyone else,” I said, thinking back to what he’d said in the beer tent, maybe trying to convince myself.
“All he wants is to gather one kindled for each type of magic,” Crowe explained, his eyes bright with fierce hope. “Think about it—Alex, venemon. Gunnar, arma. Katrina, animalia. If he’s got Flynn now, that’s inlusio. Darek doesn’t have a dominant power, right? So he didn’t fit my theory, but the others do. And it turns out Darek was never missing to begin with.”
“Crowe—”
Crowe’s mouth snapped shut around whatever he’d been planning to say next. “You don’t believe me.”
“I don’t know,” I said quietly. “He’d have to kidnap a lot of people, and this isn’t exactly familiar ground for him. Why would he risk it here? If he wanted to do something like the cruori spell, why not try last year, on his home turf?”
“Because it was his home turf,” he said in a flat voice.
“I hope you can get more evidence before you take this theory public—because tensions are high already.”
“I’m not stupid, Jem,” he said. “But Jane said something big was going to happen, and someone doing the cruori would certainly count as big.”
And she’d said I was a part of it. I just wish I knew how. “Did she say anything else this afternoon?”
“She sure did.” Crowe’s nostrils flared as he let out an exasperated breath. “She said that by this time tomorrow, someone would be dead. She wouldn’t say more than that.”
Devils & Thieves Series, Book 1 Page 16