“Nothing. I’m so sorry. Why didn’t you call me, Paxton? Did you go through that alone?”
Her eyes seemed lost. “Why would I call you? You made it clear you didn’t care about me or our baby. I need to sit down, I was supposed to go home and rest, not come here.”
I stood there stunned as she turned and headed into the school for graduation practice. My stomach churned; what I had done was unforgivable. I’d left her alone to deal with the pregnancy. And the loss.
When I opened my eyes, tears were rolling down Amelia’s cheeks. “Oh, Steed, how could you? Do you think the stress caused her to lose the baby?”
I shrugged. “I don’t know. A few months after I left home, I started to do some research on miscarriages. It’s likely there could have been something wrong with the pregnancy and it naturally aborted itself, but my heart tells me it was the stress Paxton was under. I caused her to lose our child. That’s why I never came home. Not for holidays, not even after Chloe was born. The idea of seeing Paxton … knowing what I did to her … the guilt has torn me up inside all of these years. A part of me thinks my marriage to Kim was my karma. My punishment for what I put Paxton through. But I got Chloe out of it.”
Amelia walked over to me. “That is crazy, Steed. You don’t know what caused her to lose the baby.”
Letting out a gruff laugh, I nodded. “The day of graduation, I tried to get Paxton to talk to me, but she was so angry. She threw it in my face that I’d said I was glad the baby died. When I tried to tell her it was a strange mixture of emotions, she lost it. Told me she hated me, and threatened to seek revenge.”
“Surely she’s still not angry with you.”
“You don’t know Paxton. Me showing back up in town and having a daughter to top it off … it’s like rubbing salt in a wound.”
Amelia made a face. “Oh, I wasn’t even thinking about Chloe. But Paxton would never do anything to Chloe.”
My hand went to the back of my neck where I tried to rub the ache away. “I know. But the way she looks at me. It’s like the hate is still as strong as that day ten years ago.”
Taking my hands in hers, Amelia peered into my eyes. “Steed, I’ve done a lot of research on miscarriages, I wrote about one in a book of mine. For some women, it’s a loss so great they feel it for years. Small things will trigger the memory of the loss. That has to be why Paxton avoided the family so much. We reminded her of you…you reminded her of the baby she lost.”
“But she wasn’t that far along.”
She smacked the side of my head so hard I was positive it rattled my brain around in my skull.
“What the fuck, Meli!”
“You idiot! Steed, think about the moment you found out Kim was pregnant. How did you feel?”
“Honestly?”
She nodded.
“Sad. Angry. Because the only woman I’ve ever wanted to have a child with was Paxton.”
Amelia’s hands covered her mouth. “That’s the saddest, sweetest thing you’ve said yet. You stupid asshole.”
My shoulders slumped. “Stop calling me names!”
“Hey, if the shoe fits!”
I sighed. “After the shock of Paxton telling me she was pregnant, I was actually excited. Scared as fuck, but I knew we’d made something beautiful together. I wanted to tell her that. I just didn’t know that when she dropped the bomb on me. When Kim told me she was pregnant, I had to deal with the guilt of having a child with another woman. The only thing I knew for sure was I was not walking away from that baby. When I saw the sonogram, I was instantly in love.”
“If you’d seen the sonogram from your child with Paxton, would it have made you react differently?”
I shrugged. “Hell, I don’t know. I was older when Kim got pregnant. Almost out of college. More sure of myself and my future.”
“The baby was inside of Paxton, Steed. Your child growing in her. Think about what that loss was like for her, then remember she not only lost your child … she lost you too.”
Fuck. Son-of-a-bitch. I ran to the half bath and dropped to the ground as my breakfast decided to make a second appearance.
Chloe and Timmy held my hands while parents walked up to pick up their kiddos. Kindergarteners got picked up on the south side of the school, away from the older kids. Parents had the option of walking up or driving up. The first few days of school almost every parent walked up.
“Today was fun, Ms. Monroe.”
Glancing down to Timmy, I smiled. “I’m glad you had fun.”
“I hope I get picked next week to take the class pet home,” Timmy added.
I made a mental note to actually pick up a class pet. I had totally forgotten to get one with everything that had been going on this week. Another thing I could blame Steed for.
Ugh.
Steed.
“Where is the class pet, Ms. Monroe?” Chloe asked. I glanced down at her. Great. This one wasn’t going to let anything get by. Apple didn’t fall far from the tree.
I put my finger to my lips. Leaning down, I whispered, “I forgot to get one, Chloe Cat!”
Her eyes lit up and she tried to hide her giggle. I wasn’t sure why I had started calling her that. I only did it when the other kids couldn’t hear. My biggest fear was showing her more attention simply because she was Steed’s daughter. But knowing her mother never gave her the love she deserved made my heart ache. I wanted to shower her with so much attention that I had to force myself not to. Again, Steed was to blame.
Ugh.
“There’s my mom! Bye, Ms. Monroe!” Timmy called out.
A few parents asked how the first day went, but not all. Some simply wanted their kids and took off.
Chloe had dropped my hand when her new best friend Lilly walked up. I smiled as I watched the two of them giggle as they whispered about something.
“Oh, God. There he is.”
I turned to see one of the moms talking to another mom.
“I saw him drop his daughter off this morning. I heard he’s a widower.”
The other mom gasped. “No!”
“Yes! Check out that body. You can tell he is a Parker brother. Give me one night with him, and I can make him forget his dead wife.”
My eyes widened in shock. What in the world?
“Daddy!” Chloe cried out as she ran to Steed. He lifted her with one arm like she weighed nothing and both of the moms next to me sighed.
“Look how strong he is,” one swooned.
I rolled my eyes.
Steed knelt, pulling out a small bouquet of flowers from behind his back and handing them to Chloe.
Now I was sighing right along with the two moms. I couldn’t help but smile. That was such a Steed thing to do. He used to bring me flowers all the time for the simplest of things. It always made me feel so special.
Chloe wrapped her arms around her father’s neck. She grabbed Steed’s hand and pulled him over to where Lilly and her mother were standing.
One of the moms next to me grunted, causing me to peek over at them again. “Oh great. Gina Higgins is going to sink her teeth into him.”
The other mom snarled, “Bitch.”
Turning finally, I recognized both of them. “Wow, okay ladies, if I can hear you, the kids can hear you.”
They turned to me, shades of pink covering their cheeks. “Sorry, it’s just, he’s so good looking.”
The other mom wiggled her brows. “All the Parker men are gorgeous. I went to school with Waylynn, their oldest sister. I got to see them all. And damn they were hot as hell, even the younger ones.”
Both moms covered their mouths and laughed.
“Wait.” The one mom said as she faced me. “Oh. My. Gawd! Paxton, you dated Steed!”
The other mom’s jaw dropped. “What?”
“Mom! I’m ready to go now!”
The tall mom turned to her son. “Hold on, Jerry. Mommy’s saying goodbye to Paul’s mommy.”
I needed to change the subject and fast. “The
Jerry’s mom beamed. “That’s my boy!”
She turned to the other mom. “I’ve got to run. Tell me if Gina sinks her claws in.” Turning back to me, she said, “We need the scoop on you two!”
After the tall mom left, the other mom frowned. “Paxton, I’m sorry we were gossiping like that and I’m sorry I didn’t remember you dated him.”
Clearly this woman knew me and I had no clue what her name was. Damn. I usually had all the kids’ parents memorized by the first day of school. I gave her a polite grin. Turning, I glared at Steed.
His fault. Again.
Glancing over to Paul’s mom, I replied, “It’s okay. You were a couple of years ahead of me, I don’t expect you to remember something that happened so long ago.”
We gave each other small smiles before turning and watching the scene with Steed and Gina. I knew it was wrong, and I never gossiped, especially with parents. But I couldn’t stop the words that flew from my mouth. “So, Lilly’s dad?” I asked.
“Left her. For his boss. They moved to Dallas or something. She’s not from here so she hates it. She’s waiting to sell her house so she can move back to Denver I think?”
“Really?” I asked. “Chloe will be so sad if Lilly moves.”
“Well, if Gina hooks up with Steed Parker, she won’t have to go anywhere. Especially when she finds out he’s the son of the wealthiest man in the county. Hell, probably in the state.”
Jealousy raced through my veins.
“I’ve got to run, Paxton. I’m glad today was great!”
Forcing a smile, I waved.
The only two parents left were Steed and Gina. I watched them talk before I headed into the building. I tried not to, but I glanced over my shoulder. My eyes caught his and I quickly shut the door behind me.
I spent the next hour trying to get work done, but all I could think about was Gina and how she was laughing and placing her hand on Steed’s upper arm. I imagined she was making arrangements for a play date for the girls … or maybe for her and Steed.
Throwing my pen down on my desk, I let out a frustrated groan.
“Steed,” I hissed.
Someone knocked on the classroom door. “Bad day?” Corina asked with a frown.
“No. It was actually a great day. How about you? Your first official day as a first grade teacher. Well, a first grade teacher here.”
She laughed. “It was nice having the smaller class. The kids are precious. The parents are a pain in my ass already. And the need for a glass or two of wine is pretty strong.”
I lifted my brow. “That bad?”
“Let’s just say one of the moms asked if I was free this weekend. She had the perfect guy to set me up with.”
“What did you say?”
Her mouth dropped. “Well, I didn’t say anything at first because I was utterly shocked she knew I was single.”
I chuckled. “Welcome to small town USA. Everybody knows everyone’s business.”
“Hmm, I probably shouldn’t have told her I had plans with BOB this weekend.”
My eyes widened. “Please tell me you didn’t say that to a parent.”
She smiled. “I did.”
“Did she know what you were meaning?”
Corina shrugged. “Heck if I know, but that will teach her to butt into my business again.”
I dropped my head. “You’re going to get fired and I recommended you!”
Laughing, Corina turned to leave. “I’ve got some work to do before I call this day over. Tacos tonight?”
My phone buzzed on my desk. It was a strange number. Not local.
“Yeah sure. Be at my place at seven.”
Corina gave me a quick wave as she retreated. Sliding my finger over the phone, I answered it.
“Hello?”
“Paxton.”
His voice cut straight through my body and I found myself unable to speak.
“Hello?”
Jesus. Get it together Paxton! Now!
“I’m sorry, who is this?”
Good. Good. Make him think you didn’t immediately know it was him. I tried to keep my voice straight, unfeeling.
“Steed. Turns out you put your number in more than one place. I was hoping this was the right one.”
Pulling the phone away, I dragged in a breath and slowly blew it out. “What do you want?”
Wow. That came out more bitch sounding than I intended.
“You told me to call you…so we could talk. Plus, I didn’t get a chance to ask you how Chloe did on her first day.”
“Right.” You’re an idiot, Paxton. “She did really well. She’s very outgoing and made a number of friends today. There were a few times I could tell she was getting a little homesick, but all the kids went through that and will for the next few days.”
“I’m glad to hear she did good.”
I could hear the smile in his voice. It was obvious Steed was a good father.
“Are you free this evening? Chloe is having dinner with my parents tonight. They want to start a new family tradition where they get to take her out to eat once a week.”
I beamed. That sounded like Melanie and John.
“I’ve actually made plans for dinner tonight.”
“Oh.” The disappointment in his voice both thrilled me and made me feel bad at the same time. He’d taken the time to track down my number. Maybe I shouldn’t be so hard on him. Plus, I wanted to find out what he and Gina had talked about.
“But, it’s with a friend from work. I’m sure she wouldn’t mind if I cancelled.”
“Yeah?” His voice sounded hopeful.
I didn’t want to smile, but a small part of me was happy knowing Steed was free tonight and he wouldn’t be spending it with Gina. “Yeah. I think it’s best if we clear the air. I can’t very well want to take a knife to your dick every time I see you.”
“Um…”
Kicking my feet up onto my desk, I covered my mouth to hide my chuckle. Paxton one. Steed zero. “It’s best we do this for Chloe. I’d hate to think I would be responsible for her not having any younger siblings. Especially with how friendly you and Gina were.”
“Who?”
I huffed. “Puh-lease. Don’t even pretend. I’m not in the mood for your games.”
“My games?”
“Listen, do you want to meet for dinner or not?”
The silence on the other end of the phone had my chest squeezing. Shit. I went too far in the bitch mode.
“What time and where?”
I didn’t trust myself to be alone with him. Not with the way he made my insides all hot and crazy. No matter how angry I was with him, I was still in love with the jerk and my fingers itched to touch him. “Somewhere public.”
Steed laughed. “Fine. Cord’s place, say around six?”
Glancing at my clock hanging on the wall, I smiled. It was only four. That gave me plenty of time to get ready. By the time I walked into that bar tonight, Steed Parker was going to wish he had never walked away from me ten years ago.
“Sounds good. See you then.”
The music filled the air as I drank my beer. I watched Cord flirt with a blonde at the end of the bar. She was putty in his hands, gawking at him. Of course my brother didn’t really need to try that hard. All of us Parker brothers never lacked in the area of attracting women; we were blessed with handsome looks from our father. Cord was almost an exact replica of Dad. Dark hair, built body and the famous Parker blue eyes.
The next thing I knew, Cord was jumping over the bar and taking her by the hand and heading back to his office. I shook my head.
“Cord has a way with the ladies,” I said to my older brother Tripp. He’d had his face in his phone since he walked into the place.
“Tripp. Are you even listening to me?”
He jerked his head up. “What? Yeah. Cord. You said something about Cord.”
Laughing, I took another drink. Tripp was the politician in the family. Once he got out of law school, he came back to Oak Springs and started forming an interest in running for office. Maybe even mayor. He was only thirty and would be the youngest mayor elected if he won.
I placed the beer on the bar. “I said, Cord has a way with the ladies.”
Tripp rolled his eyes. “Fuck, you have no idea. Mitchell’s afraid he going to pull up one day and find Cord screwing some girl in a parked car on the highway.”
Shaking my head, I said, “Damn. He hasn’t dated anyone seriously?”
Tripp nearly lost it laughing. “Cord? Our brother Cord tie himself down to one pussy? Please.”
My eyes widened. “You’re not going to win any election if people hear you talk like that.”
He winked. “Hey, I may enjoy politics and law, but I love women. I’m no different from Cord or Trevor. A nice pussy walks by and I’m going after it.”
I laughed. “There’s the Tripp I remember from high school. Whatever happened to Harley? Didn’t the both of you get caught screwing in the library? By her dad, right?”
Tripp’s beer paused at his lips before he smiled. “I haven’t seen Harley in a few years. And yes, her dad caught us. Nothing like dating the principal’s daughter then getting caught fucking her.”
I slapped the bar. “I just remember you running down the hall, your ass on full display while Mr. Harvey chased you with a baseball bat.”
Tripp laughed again. “That’s right! Bastard would have caught me if Mitchell hadn’t stepped out in front of him and made him trip.”
“That’s right! The future Texas Ranger aiding and abetting.”
Tripp laughed as he tipped his beer back. “Damn, we’ve had some good times.”
A tightness moved into my chest, followed by guilt. “I regret staying away so long.”
He slapped me on the back. “Well, you’re back now and you brought one hell of a good-looking girl home with you.”
Smiling, I took another drink of beer. “Chloe loves being in Texas. The ranch alone had her flying high. Doesn’t help that Dad has her on a damn horse every single second of day. I swear if I let her, she’d sleep in the barn. Plus, he got her a pet goat.”
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