She groans, and the sound sends me straight to her side. My hand moves to her forehead to feel if she’s overheated. “I’ve been better,” she acknowledges. She takes a few deep breaths and admits, “It’s been happening more frequently, but today was the absolute worst. Our daily special was liver and onions. It seemed like there were onions everywhere. I had to come back home. The smells at the diner were making me gag. If I served another plate, I was going to throw up.”
“Fuckin’ shit, woman. I told you that you work too damn hard. You should’ve called me; I could’ve driven you home. You need a break, baby. It’s overdue. Those fuckers at the diner don’t give two shits if they run you ragged for coffee refills and whatever else.”
“Uh,” she groans again, turning her face toward the bedspread. “Don’t talk about coffee, please. I can still smell it, and I’ve been home for an hour already.”
“That, too? Is it just food items, or any strong smells?”
“It’s a mixture, but those are the worst so far.”
I shake my head, rubbing my fingers through her soft hair that’s spread in all directions. “Want me to get you some Sprite or maybe salted crackers? Would they help or mess it up more? You need me to pick up some meds? Tell me what to do for you, Sweet Pea.”
Her glazy irises meet mine. “You’re so good to me, Sebastian.”
I nod. “Of course. You’re my woman,” I reply immediately without giving it any thought. I’d do anything to make her smile, to keep her happy and with me.
Her regard grows soft. “I’ll be fine. I’m not sure if you will be when we talk about things, though.”
My spine goes ramrod straight, not liking where this is heading one bit. Whatever Savannah has to say, she better not attempt to push me away. She did that shit in the beginning, refusing my help and then with her attempting to make us talk only about money for my bike. That was the last I wanted from her, and it hasn’t changed. The only thing I was ever interested in, from the beginning, was getting to know her. Once I wiggled my way in, I couldn’t stop there. I craved more of her. I still do. I want all of her—the good, the bad, the ugly. It doesn’t matter as long as I get every piece of her.
I continue to rub my digits in her silky locks, reveling in how beautiful she is, even when she’s not feeling well. This woman has another thing coming if she thinks she’s going to give me up or that I’ll let her go without one hell of a fight. She’s become a constant in my life, day after day I come home to her. I’d never spent much time away from the club once I became a part of that world, always taking a club whore to warm my bed at night. Since Savannah, she’s all I’ve been able to think about and truly desire to be around. She’s made this place feel like a home, and that’s where I yearn to be at night.
“You sure you don’t need anything?” I inquire again, lying beside her. We’re facing each other. I did it purposefully so I can watch my angel’s expressions. Swear to Christ, Savannah better not break my damn heart. Lord knows, she could. She’s my bright light after I went through the dark shit with Chaos and helping him clean up the club’s messes. There were some rough times before shit got square, and then she came along out of nowhere. She’s my happy place, my woman.
“I’m okay.” She blows out another breath, and I smell the mint from her mouthwash. “Actually, having you here has made me feel a bit better. My stomach is still twisting, but more with anxiety and not the sickness.”
“I make you anxious?” I hope it’s that pitter-patter-heart sort of anxiety and not the bad one ‘cause she’s gonna give me the boot. I should’ve found a way to fix her car. Damn it. Savannah’s the independent type, and it must be driving her crazier than I’d expected with me helping take care of her. She needs to realize I do everything because I want to, because I care for her, and because I can.
She swallows, and I press my mouth to her forehead. I don’t want to overwhelm her, but damn, what if I can’t kiss her in the future? I’ll fight for her with everything I’ve got, but I can only do so much. If she doesn’t want me, then I’m thoroughly screwed. I’m falling for this woman headfirst, and there’s no way to pump the brakes. Christ, I’ve tried to. I was doing fine, living my bachelor lifestyle until I had a taste of her sweet little ass and then I was a changed man. Don’t get me wrong, the club is still my life and it always will be. I still deal regularly too, because I have to make a living somehow. Selling dope may not be honorable in her eyes, but it’s what I know how to do. Aside from hit shit and be the VP in the Kings of Carnage motorcycle club.
“Sebastian,” she quietly utters with a sigh, reaching for me.
I scoot in closer, not giving an ounce of care if she’s sick or not. I want to be near my sweet pea, to feel her presence against me. “Whatever it is,” I declare genuinely, “Everything will be okay, baby. I’m here for you.”
She sits up suddenly, getting to her feet. I’m thinking she’s going to pop off and puke, but she begins to pace instead. I notice her face isn’t as pale as it was when I walked in the door either, so it gives me a touch of comfort. “This is serious,” she asserts, and I sit up again. I shift to the edge of the bed, ready to pounce on her if necessary.
“I’m pretty serious about you, beautiful. I can’t emphasize it enough. How about you come out with it already, so we can handle whatever’s eating away at you. I don’t do suspense well; it makes me punchy, Angel.”
My words lighten her mood a touch, throwing off her thoughts. She faces me, wearing a smirk. “I like you being punchy. Keeps things interesting, and you do a decent job at drywall repair.”
I snort and roll my eyes. She’s only seen me do one patch job, and it was from a bad day at work. I didn’t take it out on her. I didn’t even know she was at home when I lost my temper and punched a hole in the closet. Some shit fell when I was digging around, and it was my breaking point. I got into a fight with the wall and ended up patching it up a few days later. “Get over here and tell me what’s up, Sweet Pea.”
Savannah takes the few steps between us until her sweatpants covered legs touch my knees. Her tiny feet line up on the insides of my boots, and for some reason, that has my stomach flipping. I don’t know what it is about this woman, but she has me feeling some type of way. Having her close again instantly calms me inside, and I can think straight once more.
She tangles her dainty fingers with mine, seeking my comfort. The differences between us are more than prominent. My hands are big, scarred, and tattooed, where hers are small, pale, and perfect. I’d never deny her anything, for that matter. I wait on bated breath for her to say whatever it is weighing heavily on her mind. I meant it when I admitted I don’t do suspense well.
“I’m pregnant,” Savannah confesses, with a shaky exhale. She’s been carrying this alone, for who knows how long. I feel like a dick for not seeing her symptoms for what they truly are and offering her the help she obviously needs.
My jaw drops, my lips parting in shock. “I wasn’t expecting that to leave your mouth, to be honest.”
“It was bound to happen, Sebastian. We’ve been pretty careless. We’ve had lots of sex, and you haven’t pulled out each time, and I didn’t tell you too either. We’re both at fault for not stopping to wear condoms and acting more responsibly. At some point, that’s going to result in a baby.”
I tug her to me, wrapping my arms around her. “You’re right, Angel.” I breathe the words. I’m just so damn happy she isn’t trying to break it off and leave me. I never realized that was one of my worries until today. It really hit home with me about how much Savannah means to me. I pepper her with the first questions that come to me. “How are you feeling now? You still sick? How can I help make this easier on you?” Why do I feel so enamored knowing she’s having my child, and I’ll be linked to her forever because of it?
She leans back, meeting my gaze. Tears swim in her eyes. “I-I’m scared, Sebastian. I’ve been keeping a low profile, and that includes not going to the doctors. How can I have a
baby if I can’t go to a hospital for checkups? This is why I’ve been anxious. I don’t have the answers to any of this, except to come out in the open.”
I squeeze her a little tighter, wishing I could take her uncertain thoughts away and replace them with contentment. I tackle the largest issue first, pleased she’s finally come to me with something I can fix. “The club has a doctor on standby. I can have him help out with that aspect. I can get you vitamins or whatever and bribe whoever I have to, if necessary.”
She shakes her head, “That’s not all, Sebastian. If it was only a doctor, I wouldn’t be so freaked out. There’s more, so much more. I haven’t told you everything about my past, about what made me become so secretive.”
“Talk to me, baby. I’m here for you. Not only do I care a fuck of a lot about you, but you’re going to be the mother of my child. Tell me what else is messing with that pretty head of yours.”
“I’ve been hiding…crap, it’ll be so much harder to hide with a newborn. How can I raise a child in all of this?” It’s spoken more to herself than me. It’s like the thought hit her, and everything else faded away, including me. Her words strike fear in my heart, a sadness mixed with anger spirals through me, and I spit out the first thing that comes to my mind.
“So, what are you saying? You plan to kill it? You’re gonna get rid of our kid without even explaining what the fuck’s going on?”
Savannah gasps, the tears coming quicker and spilling over her flushed cheeks. “No, I-I was planning on telling you more about my circumstances, so you know what you’re in for. Or, if you decide that you want me out of your life for good. I’d understand if you did.” She sniffles, and a possessive growl rumbles my chest. She’s not going anywhere, and neither is our baby. If I have to tie her sexy ass to the bed and hand feed her until she gives in, then I’ll do what it takes to make her see me more clearly.
“That’s the last fucking thing I want. I care about you, and now I’ll be caring about the baby as well. I’ll repeat myself however many times I have to-to make you believe me. I’m in it for the long haul, babe, there’s no turning back now. We’ve created a life. Now, tell me, Savannah. No more procrastinating. I can shoulder some of that burden you’ve been hauling around. Let me do it; let me be your man.”
She hiccups, her free hand swiping at her wet cheeks. It kills me to see my sweet angel such a mess over this shit. “You already know my father died, but there’s much more to that story that I’ve kept to myself.”
“All right, let’s hear it.” I hold her to me as I sit on the bed, her body securely resting in my lap. There’s no way in hell I’m going to allow her to run off if she suddenly decides to try.
“My father, his death…it was all cold and calculated. He was murdered after his bank accounts were drained.”
“No shit? I’d been putting pieces together, but to have you say that aloud, it solidifies things a bit more.”
Tears trail down her flesh as she quietly sobs. My heart breaks for my woman. I want to take her pain inside and swallow it away. “After I discovered him, I lost it a little. I couldn’t let this heartless killer get away with what he’d done. I started looking into him, and I quickly realized there were many other deaths related to him. He was a greedy pig, hiring people to work with him then stealing their money from underneath their noses. My father found out what he was doing and was killed for it.”
“Christ,” I huff as the depth of her situation begins to rear its ugly head.
She continues. “I-I came up with a plan, and I found the murdering sicko. I made sure we crossed paths.”
“Fuck, baby.” I exhale, clenching my fists at the thought of her safety being in jeopardy. She’s too brave for her own good. He could’ve killed her as well, and I’d have never gotten the chance to know this amazing woman.
“He let me get close to him—as close as I could stomach in the short amount of time. He was so arrogant, believing he was untouchable, and I just…I hated him with every breath I took.” She meets my gaze, and I can tell I’m not going to like what she has to say next.
I grit my teeth, bearing down for the oncoming blow, whatever it may be.
“I seduced him,” she whispers, making my eyes clench closed as thoughts race in my mind. Imagining her with another man makes me want to hurt someone badly. “I fucked him,” she acknowledges afterward, and I bite down so hard, I swear I’m going to crack teeth.
She’s mine.
“Then I killed him,” Savannah concedes.
My eyes fly open to meet hers. “Angel, did I hear that right, or did I imagine what I wanted you to say?”
Her head tilts, taking me in. “I-I admitted to killing him. I did it in cold blood, premeditated. I planned it all out, step by step and went through with it.” Her lip trembles, as more sobs wrack her chest. “I’m so horrible. Now you see why his family wants me dead. Why I have to hide and why this child will be in jeopardy if I seek medical care. I can’t let them hurt our kid.”
“There’s not a bad bone in your body, you hear me?” I reassure her because it’s the goddamn truth. If she had any idea about the situations I’ve handled myself—well, she wouldn’t be judging herself so harshly.
“I wish I could believe that,” she murmurs and swallows tightly, staring toward the ground.
I move, lifting her chin. I want her eyes back on me. “I won’t let anything happen to you, not to either one of you. I can handle this, and if I need some help, my club will have my back. Me and Chaos…well, you know we’re close. He’s my best friend, means more to me than blood. He’d step in if I needed him to. As would Jinx, Sly, North…all of ‘em. The prospect I have on you would even lay down his life.” He better, anyhow, I quietly growl to myself.
“But why? It’s not like we’re married, and I’m not naïve enough to believe someone would help me from the goodness of their hearts. Not with something this serious and deadly to bite them in return.”
I shake my head. “Nah, Sweet Pea. They’d help because you mean the fucking world to me, and they’re my brothers. That means something to us. They hear you’re having my kid, and they won’t even question as to why this is priority for me.”
“I wish I had people who cared for me like that.”
“You do,” I murmur, pressing a kiss to the tip of her nose. “You’ve got me.”
Eleven
Expecting things to change without putting in any effort is like waiting for a ship at the airport. @functionalrustic
I’ve got him. Bash says it without a second thought, and then I’m a blubbering mess for an entirely new reason. I just admitted my darkest secret aloud, and he’s not running for the hills. He’s doing the opposite, actually. He’s offered to help me and is already being protective over the teeny tiny life growing inside my belly. Out of all the bikers to meet on the side of the road…I met him. It has to be my father intervening from above. That’s the only reasonable explanation I can come up with to explain how someone like Sebastian, with a big heart, good character, and fierce protectiveness, was sent to me when I needed him the most.
“You would do that for me? You’d risk your life without another thought?”
His steady gaze beats down on me. “Of course, you don’t even have to ask. I would’ve protected you regardless of you having my child or not. I’m glad you told me…I only wish you’d felt comfortable enough to open up to me sooner. I could’ve done something about it a long time ago. I can only imagine the pressure and stress you’ve been under this entire time.”
“I-I never know who’s working for him. It seems like that family has a way of sticking their hands in everything. I may not be in your business or around you at the club a lot, but you don’t have the same evilness in your heart. I trust you. I had to be sure of it before I told you.”
He grunts. “I take it this influential family you’re afraid of has to do with Maliki, and that’s why he’s been asking Jinx and me each week if we’ve seen you before.”
/> I bite my bottom lip and nod. My tears are finally beginning to dry up. I’m sure I look like a hot mess with bright pink, tearstained cheeks, and red-rimmed eyes. I hate it when I cry. Lord knows I’ve done my share in the past year with everything that’s happened. “Maliki is his brother…the man I killed.”
“Fuck, baby,” he breathes, rubbing his hand over his brow. “Maliki’s a dangerous scum bucket. I’m so fucking proud of you for hiding out this long and staying alive. You did the right thing keeping to yourself, but staying so close to ATL is risky.”
“It’s cowardly, and I didn’t have much money,” I comment with a sigh.
He jostles me, arguing, “The fuck it is. You’re the bravest bitch I know. I think that’s why I respect you so damn much.”
My heart fills, knowing he thinks of me that way, that he respects me. “I think you’re pretty great, too, Bash.”
He growls. “That road name is for my club, Angel. I’m your Sebastian.”
I nod because he’s right. “You are mine.”
“Damn straight,” he agrees, pressing a searing kiss to my mouth. “I don’t want you worrying over this shit anymore. I mean it. I’m gonna have a chat with my brothers to get them up to speed a bit more and come up with a plan. I’ll make sure Maliki never bothers you again. You have my word.”
“You said it yourself, he’s dangerous. I would never forgive myself if anything happened to you. I don’t think I could handle it.”
“So am I, Angel, more than you realize. You keep doing your thing, you go wherever you need to, and take the car. I have a prospect on ya, in case you need something.”
It’s my turn for my mouth to drop open. “I’d seen a biker I didn’t recognize around, but I didn’t know he was there for me. I just put two and two together…that’s what you meant earlier when you said the prospect would protect me with his life.”
He shrugs, not perturbed with me linking it all together. “I’ve had him on ya for a while. Wanted to make sure you didn’t catch any blowback or anything for being affiliated with the club. The prospect hasn’t seen anyone following you or anything like that, so I think you’re still in the clear around here. I don’t want you overstressing yourself about this. You’re pregnant and need to take it easy, on everything. You need something, you text me or flag down the prospect. I don’t care if it’s a candy bar you’re craving. All you gotta do is ask. I’m here for you now, and KOC will be as well.”
Bash Page 12