by Amy Clipston
“Mattie?” He pushed the door open as he continued to search her face. “What are you doing here this late?”
“I want to talk to you, and I couldn’t wait until morning.” She pointed toward the door. “May I come in?”
“Ya.” He stepped back, allowing her to walk past him and into the kitchen.
Mattie glanced down at the boxes lining the kitchen wall. Packed in them were her books, clothes, and the beautiful cross-stitch her mother had given her. Disappointment replaced her excitement.
I’m too late. He’s already packed up my things just as he said he would in his last letter.
When she looked up at him, he crossed his arms over his wide chest and leaned back against the wall.
“I was going to have Hank take those to you tomorrow.” He gestured toward the doorway leading to the family room. “Your hope chest is still in the bedroom. I need him to help me carry that out.”
“There’s no hurry.” She swallowed against her dry throat.
“Oh. Okay.” He paused for a minute as he raised an eyebrow. “What do you want to talk about?”
“Oh, right.” She suddenly remembered the basket in her hands. “I brought this for you.”
He frowned. “You could have kept the basket.”
“I’m not just returning it. There’s actually a gift in it and a letter.” She held it up, and he pushed off the wall. As he took the basket from her, their fingers brushed, and electricity sparked between them. She swallowed a gasp and hoped he’d sensed it too.
“Danki.” He set the basket on the table and then looked over at her again. “So what did you want to talk about?”
“Please open it now.” She pointed toward the basket. “Please.”
He studied her for a beat and then opened the lid. His eyes widened as he pulled out the lap quilt.
“Mattie.” He breathed out her name, and it sounded like a beautiful hymn to her ears. He ran his long fingers over the quilt and gasped. “Did you make this for me?”
“Ya.” She closed the distance between them and stood beside him. “Do you like it?” She inhaled his familiar scent, leather mixed with soap. Warmth buzzed through her like a honeybee. It was so good to be near him again!
“I love it. It’s the most schee quilt I’ve ever seen. I don’t know what to say.” He looked down at her, and his eyes seemed to shimmer with confusion. “Danki, but you really didn’t have to give me anything.”
“There’s a letter too.” She pointed to the basket. “Please read it.”
“Now?” he asked, his dark eyebrows raised.
“Ya. Please.”
“Okay.” He draped the quilt over the back of a kitchen chair and retrieved the envelope from the bottom of the basket. Then he opened the envelope, unfolded the letter, and began to read it.
Mattie folded her hands as if to say a prayer and held her breath while she waited for him to finish reading.
Leroy’s dark eyes misted as he read. His face crumpled with a deep frown and he sniffed. When he finished, he folded the letter and stared down at her.
“Do you mean what you said in this letter?” His eyes seemed to search her face.
“Ya, I mean every word.” Her voice scraped from her throat. “Is it too late for us?”
“No. It could never be too late. I meant it when I said I would wait years for you.”
“But you packed up my things.” Her voice shook as she pointed toward the boxes lining the wall behind her. “You were going to have Hank take them to me.”
“I thought that was what you wanted.” He placed the letter on the table. “I just wanted you to be froh.”
“I can’t lose you,” she whispered as tears streamed down her face. “I love you. It just took me a little longer to figure it out. I want to be here with you. Please forgive me and give me another chance.”
“Of course you can have another chance. I’ve loved you my whole life. Why would I stop loving you now?”
Reaching up, Mattie touched her hand to his face, savoring the feel of his whiskers. “I’m so sorry I hurt you. I want to start over. I want to build a life with you. I want to have a family with you, if we can. And if we can’t have one, that’s okay too. I just want to be here with you.”
He closed his eyes and leaned into her touch. “I never thought I’d hear you say that. I feel like I’m dreaming.”
“You’re not dreaming. I’m here, and I’m not going to leave you again. I want to spend the rest of my life with you.” She stood up on her tiptoes and brushed her lips across his.
Leroy let out a gasp as his eyes widened. Then his eyes softened. He wrapped his arms around her waist, and Mattie’s breath hitched in her lungs. She looped her arms around his neck and pulled him in closer. He deepened the kiss, sending her stomach into a wild swirl. She closed her eyes and savored the feeling of his mouth against hers.
This is where I belong.
When he released her, she laced her fingers into his. “Is it okay if I stay tonight?”
He chuckled, and she enjoyed the deep, rich sound of his laughter. “Of course you can. This is your haus. You’re mei fraa.” He pointed toward the boxes. “We can unpack those tomorrow.”
“Okay.”
“Did you bring a horse and buggy?”
“No. Mei dat’s driver dropped me off.” She glanced toward the doorway that led toward the bedroom. Her stomach fluttered with the wings of a thousand butterflies, and her knees wobbled as an idea took shape in her mind.
“What are you thinking?” His lips quirked.
“Lock the back door.”
He tilted his head for a moment. “All right.” He released her hand, went to lock the door, and then walked back to her.
She took his hand and tugged him toward the family room.
“Where are you taking me?”
“You’ll see.” She licked her lips as they crossed the family room and then stopped in front of the bedroom doorway. She looked up at him, and he gaped. “I’m ready.”
“I don’t understand.”
“I’m ready to be your fraa.” She reached up and touched his cheek again. “I love you, Leroy. I want to be with you and only you.” She took his hand in hers and placed his palm flat on her chest over her heart. “You’re here, where you should be. My heart belongs to you.”
“Oh, Mattie.” His eyes misted over once again. “I have to be dreaming now.”
“You’re not. This is really happening.” She lifted his hand to her mouth and kissed it. “I’m sorry for taking you for granted for so long. You’ve always been there for me, but I didn’t realize how much I cared about you until today. Isaiah and Jacob will always have a place in my heart, but I’m ready to give my heart to you. Ich liebe dich, Leroy.”
“Ich liebe dich, Mattie.” He trailed a finger down her cheek. “I always have.”
Mattie grabbed his hand and pulled him into the bedroom, softly closing the door behind them.
“It’s getting cooler.” Mattie hugged her wrap closer to her body and then picked up her mug and cradled it in her hands. She breathed in the rich aroma of the hot chocolate and then smiled up at Leroy.
“Ya, it finally feels like winter is here.” He leaned down and kissed her cheek before placing his mug on the table beside him. “I can’t believe Christmas is next week.”
“Ya, I know.” She pushed on the porch floor with her toe, and the glider began to move them back and forth. “So now that it’s cold, when are you going to make me some of your amazing homemade soup?” She leaned against his chest, and he looped his arm around her shoulders.
Leroy chuckled, and she relished the sound of the deep rumble radiating in his chest. “I’ve spoiled you too much with my baking. You should make me homemade soup.”
Mattie looked up at him with feigned offense. “Is that so? I don’t do enough around here?”
He touched the tip of her nose. “You’re cute when you’re annoyed with me.”
She rolled her eye
s before leaning against him once again. “Do you think we can start working on one of the spare rooms upstairs?”
“Sure. Which one, and what do you want to do with it?”
“I was thinking we should give the one I’m thinking about a fresh coat of paint on the walls.” She gave him a coy smile and then set her mug on the table beside her. “You told me you’d paint it if I wanted you to. And we only have nine months to get it done, so we better get started now.” She touched her abdomen, and he gasped and turned to face her.
“Are you saying what I think you’re saying?”
She nodded, and he pulled her into his arms and kissed her.
“How long have you known?”
“I’ve had a feeling for a few days now, and I took two home tests this morning. Both of the tests were positive.” She laced her fingers in his. “I have a doctor’s appointment right after Christmas.”
“I’m coming with you.” He hugged her again. “I’m so froh. You have no idea how elated I am.”
“Ya, I do know. I feel the same way.” She touched his cheek and then rested her cheek on his shoulder. “I was worried it wouldn’t happen for me again, but it did. I’m going to ask Dr. Sheppard to monitor me more closely this time.” She looked up at him. “What names do you like?”
“You mentioned Veronica for a maedel.”
“You don’t have to agree to the names I said before—”
“It’s okay,” he insisted, interrupting her. “I think Veronica Fisher is a schee name.”
“Okay. What about a bu?”
He paused for a beat. “Leroy Junior.” He grinned.
She laughed at his adorable smile. “All right. Our boppli’s name will be Veronica or Leroy Junior.” She pushed the glider with her toe again and sighed as she breathed in the crisp air mixed with Leroy’s familiar scent.
“What was the sigh for?”
“I’m just so froh.” She touched his thigh. “Danki.”
“For what?”
“For loving me.”
“No, danki, Mattie Fisher, for loving me.”
As Leroy leaned down to kiss her, Mattie closed her eyes and silently thanked God for healing her heart and giving her a second chance at love.
EPILOGUE
PRESENT DAY
MATTIE WIPED HER EYES AND THEN HANDED THE TISSUES TO Veronica, who took a handful and distributed them to her sisters.
“Why didn’t you ever tell us about Isaiah and Jacob?” Rachel asked before sniffing.
“I just never knew how.” Mattie shook her head, then picked up the blue onsie and pressed her fingers into its softness. “I’m sorry for hiding it from you all, for putting all these memories away in my hope chest and leaving them there all these years. But I just wasn’t ready to tell you.”
“It’s okay.” Emily took Mattie’s hands in hers and squeezed them. “We understand. You went through so much.” She paused, and then her eyes widened. “That was why Dat understood how I felt when Chris left me and went home to his family. He felt the same way when you left him, but I understand why you felt you had to leave. I’m so glad you came back, though.”
Veronica sniffed and wiped her eyes with a tissue. “And now I understand why you said you could relate to me when I lost Seth. You went through the same thing. No, it was worse, because you were married and expecting a boppli. I can’t even imagine how difficult that was for you.”
“Ya,” Rachel chimed in. “You had to feel so alone.”
“I did until I realized how much your dat loved me, and also how much I loved him. Your dat was so patient and kind to me. It just took me a long time to realize how much I needed him. He was my strength and he taught me how to love again.” She looked at her three daughters, taking in their beautiful faces. “I just pray you three have the same kind of love I’ve known with your father.”
They all smiled and nodded.
“I love you, girls.”
Mattie silently thanked God for the wonderful family she and Leroy had created with a sure foundation of love. Her hope chest had held not only memories full of pain all these years but memories full of love she would always cherish.
Today her heart was filled to the brim with hope.
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
AS ALWAYS, I’M THANKFUL FOR MY LOVING FAMILY, INCLUDING my mother, Lola Goebelbecker; my husband, Joe; and my sons, Zac and Matt. I’m blessed to have such an awesome and amazing family that puts up with me when I’m stressed out on a book deadline. Special thanks to Matt, aka Mr. Thesaurus, for helping me find synonyms. I couldn’t ask for a more adorable wordsmith!
I’m more grateful than words can express to Janet Pecorella and my mother for proofreading for me. I truly appreciate the time you take out of your busy lives to help me polish my books. Special thanks to my mother, who endured my constant discussions about revisions and who also graciously read this book more than once to check for typos.
I’m also grateful to my special Amish friends, who patiently answer my endless stream of questions. Thank you also to Karla Hanns for her quilting expertise.
Thank you to my wonderful church family at Morning Star Lutheran in Matthews, North Carolina, for your encouragement, prayers, love, and friendship. You all mean so much to my family and me.
Thank you to Jamie Mendoza and the fabulous members of my Bakery Bunch! I’m so grateful for your friendship and your excitement about my books. You all are amazing!
To my agent, Natasha Kern—I can’t thank you enough for your guidance, advice, and friendship. You are a tremendous blessing in my life.
Thank you also to editor Julee Schwarzburg for her guidance with the story. I always learn quite a bit about writing and polishing when we work together. Thank you for pushing me to become a better writer. I hope we can work together again in the future!
I’m grateful to editor Jean Bloom, who helped me polish and refine the story. Jean, you are a master at connecting the dots and filling in the gaps. I’m so thankful that we can continue to work together!
I also would like to thank Kristen Golden for tirelessly working to promote my books. I’m grateful to each and every person at HarperCollins Christian Publishing who helped make this book a reality.
To my readers—thank you for choosing my novels. My books are a blessing in my life for many reasons, including the special friendships I’ve formed with my readers. Thank you for your e-mail messages, Facebook notes, and letters.
Thank you most of all to God—for giving me the inspiration and the words to glorify you. I’m grateful and humbled you’ve chosen this path for me.
Special thanks to Cathy and Dennis Zimmermann for their hospitality and research assistance in Lancaster County, Pennsylvania.
Cathy & Dennis Zimmermann, Innkeepers
The Creekside Inn
44 Leacock Road-PO Box 435
Paradise, PA 17562
Toll Free: (866) 604-2574
Local Phone: (717) 687-0333
The author and publisher gratefully acknowledge the following resource used to research information for this book:
C. Richard Beam, Revised Pennsylvania German Dictionary (Lancaster: Brookshire Publications, Inc., 1991).
DISCUSSION QUESTIONS
Mattie is devastated when her husband is murdered. Have you faced a difficult loss? What Bible verses helped you? Share this with the group.
Mattie pours herself into sewing and quilting as a way to deal with losing her husband and then her baby. Think of a time when you felt lost and alone. Where did you find your strength? What Bible verses would help?
Leroy believes he’s helping Mattie and her baby when he proposes to her. He’s devastated when Mattie leaves him, and he’s determined to convince her to come home. Why do you think Leroy had a difficult time giving Mattie space and letting her find her way home?
Near the end of the book, Tillie feels compelled to talk to Mattie and share her own story of loss. Could you relate to Tillie and her experience?
Mattie is afraid of opening her heart to Leroy and she blames herself for both Isaiah’s and Jacob’s deaths. By the end of the book, she realizes she’s ready to love again and she asks Leroy to forgive her and take her back. What do you think caused her to change her point of view on love throughout the story?
At one point in the story, Mattie feels guilty for being envious of her sister’s happy news. Have you ever been in a similar situation? If so, how did it turn out? Share this with the group.
Mattie feels God is giving her a second chance when she realizes she loves Leroy. Have you ever experienced a second chance? What was it?
Which character can you identify with the most? Which of the two main characters seemed to carry the most emotional stake in the story? Was it Mattie or Leroy?
What role did the basket play in Leroy and Mattie’s relationship? Can you relate the basket to an object that was pivotal in a relationship you’ve experienced in your life?
What did you know about the Amish before reading this book? What did you learn?
ABOUT THE AUTHOR
Photo by Dan Davis Photography
AMY CLIPSTON IS THE AWARD-WINNING AND BESTSELLING author of more than a dozen novels, including the Kauffman Amish Bakery series and the Hearts of the Lancaster Grand Hotel series. Her novels have hit multiple bestseller lists, including CBD, CBA, and ECPA. Amy holds a degree in communication from Virginia Wesleyan College and works full-time for the City of Charlotte, North Carolina. Amy lives in North Carolina with her husband, two sons, and three spoiled rotten cats.
Visit her website: amyclipston.com
Facebook: Amy Clipston
Twitter: @AmyClipston
Instagram: Amy_Clipston