by Unknown
I always knew Luc and Andrea wouldn't last: they were all wrong together. But even I never expected them to break up this fast.
Now Andrea's absolutely terrified Luc is going to ring me and ask if I'll take him back. In fact, when Luc does ring I shan't say ‘Yes’ to him right away. I do have some pride. I'll make him wait two or three minutes at least.
But I also realize this was only a blip and afterwards Luc and I will be stronger than ever. My friendship with Andrea is another matter entirely. I just don't think I could ever trust her again. So, shortly Andrea will lose both Luc and me. I can't feel sorry for her, though. Not yet, anyway.
Now all I have to do is wait for Luc to contact me.
8.00 p.m.
Luc hasn't called yet.
And I've been waiting for him so eagerly; must have practised in my head what I'm going to say to him a thousand times. I'm like an actress who's rehearsed her part so frequently she just wants to tear on to the stage and perform her role.
Then I wondered if Luc might send me an email, so I've been checking those very regularly. But Luc isn't a great sender of emails. No, I'm sure he'll ring. I've just got to be patient.
10.30 p.m.
Too late for Luc to ring now, but I've got my mobile by my bed just in case. Have a horrible feeling he's too ashamed to call me. Too embarrassed, as well. If only I could somehow let him know that I won't give him a hard time.
12.00 midnight
Inspiration has just hit me. Now I know what to do.
TUESDAY 28 JULY
10.15 a.m.
It had seemed such a brilliant idea last night. But it's lost most of its lustre in the bright morning light.
I'm standing just outside this sports shop, where Patrick (Luc's brother) works. My plan was/is to breeze in there, chat casually with Patrick about this and that, then slip in my little message to Luc at the end.
It seemed so easy. Now all these doubts are crowding in.
For a start, Luc and Patrick don't really get on. So is Patrick really the right person to deliver my friendly words? And what if he deliberately gets my message wrong to stir things up?
Maybe I should just abandon the whole idea. But I really don't want to do that either. I almost wish that boy I saw on Saturday at the bus stop would suddenly appear again – and advise me. Mind you, he'd probably tell me to forget the whole thing. And I know that's what I should do.
But, on the other hand, all I'm doing is strolling around a shop and bumping into Luc's brother totally ‘by accident’. Where's the harm in that? And to be honest, all this waiting around is killing me. I've got to do something.
10.35 a.m.
Well, I did it.
An assistant was standing in the doorway of the sports shop, arguing loudly with a group of other boys. ‘No way, I'm not having that,’ he cried. Then he spotted me squeezing past. ‘All right?’ he barked and immediately resumed his argument.
He seemed more like a bouncer really, allowing me into an exclusive club. Music was blaring out too, but the place was completely empty, save for two assistants at the back of the shop lacing up trainers. One of whom was Patrick.
But I didn't rush over there, no, far too obvious. Instead, I examined a few tracksuits in a highly interested sort of way and then stared keenly about me, like an explorer in new territory (and I'd never, ever been in here before, although I'd passed it many times).
Finally, and very slowly, I eased my way over to the trainers section. Patrick was saying, ‘I'm telling you, man, that's what she said to me. No exaggeration.’
The red-haired boy he was with sniggered. ‘Dream on,’ he said.
Patrick looks a bit like Luc, only he's bigger, with hooded eyes and much more attitude.
‘Oh, hey, Patrick!’ I cried, hoping I wasn't overdoing my surprise at spotting him. ‘I totally forgot you worked in here.’
‘Hello,’ he replied, adding, after a slight pause, ‘Bella! So what are you looking for?’
‘Oh, nothing in particular… just looking.’ And as this sounded a bit feeble, I added, ‘Your prices seem very reasonable compared to other sports shops I've been visiting today. I'm going round them all, trying to get the best bargains. It's taking me ages.’ I laughed.
He didn't smile back. Instead, he went on scrutinizing me as if I were some very rare creature he'd just discovered. ‘Never seen you in here before,’ he muttered at last.
‘Oh, really, haven't you?’ I said as lightly as I could. ‘No, I pop in here from time to time. Got a great atmosphere, hasn't it?’ He didn't answer. There was a thick smell of foam and plastic which made me feel a bit sick. And Patrick was still watching me very curiously. I was sure he'd guessed why I'd accidentally met him. But I mustn't blush or get nervous. I just had to say what I'd practised. I edged nearer. I took a deep breath. I had no idea this would feel so undignified.
‘Actually, Patrick, I was wondering how Luc is.’ I stopped there, hoping the red-haired boy would recognize this was now a private conversation and leave us, but he didn't move a muscle. Patrick didn't say anything at first either, just studied me from underneath his lowered eyelids.
At last he said, ‘Wouldn't know… hardly ever see him.’ This wasn't promising at all. In fact, it was excruciating. But I ploughed on. ‘Well, next time you see Luc I wonder if you'd do me a favour and give him a little message from me?’ Again, no response at all. ‘Would you just… say hi from me and tell him to give me a call if he wants to?’ I stopped and gave a nervous little laugh. ‘Do you want to write that down?’ I asked.
‘No, I'll remember it,’ he replied, in a funny, muffled voice. I had a horrible feeling he wanted to laugh.
‘Thanks a lot then, Patrick,’ I cried. ‘And see you soon, maybe… and, well, bye.’
Then I sprang off, walking straight into a display of football shirts. As I was leaving I heard Patrick say in a piercing whisper, ‘No, she's not the girl I was telling you about.’ He laughed sharply at the very idea. ‘That's my brother's ex.’
But not for much longer! As, by tonight, Luc will have got my message (I really wish Patrick had written it down) and will know it's all right to ring, because I'm ready to forgive and forget. And that truly, ghastly little scene will have been worthwhile.
10.20 p.m.
He never rang.
But he must have received my message by now. Unless Patrick forgot all about it. That's possible, isn't it? Or maybe Patrick didn't deliver it in the right way.
Now what should I do? Go on waiting for Luc to pluck up the courage to ring me? But all this waiting really gets you down, you know, and the thought of more endless days like this one… I don't know if I can stand it.
WEDNESDAY 29 JULY
6.45 p.m.
I've spoken to Luc!
He didn't call me, though. I just couldn't wait any longer, so I rang him. I was going to send off a friendly email but then decided a phone call would be much better. And I wanted to hear Luc's voice so badly.
It would be a very bright chat. I'd just cheerily enquire as to how he was. Nothing heavy at all. But Luc would know I was ready to… well, start things up again.
His mobile was switched off so then I called his house. I might get his mum but that's all right. She'd always liked me and I would be very cheerful. As I dialled the number, Tilly – who was sitting on my bed beside me – started thumping her tail, just as if she knew something momentous was about to happen.
I waited for someone to reply, with one arm tightly around Tilly, and absolutely sick with nerves.
‘Hello.’
Just hearing Luc's voice gave me a little shiver. ‘Hi, it's me, Bella.’ There was a moment of complete silence as if he were remembering me from a long way back.
Then he said, ‘Hello, Bella… are you all right?’ His voice sounded so strange, all muffled and low. He thinks I've rung to have a go at him. I must show him I'm not going to do that.
So I said, breezily, ‘Oh, I'm just fine and Tilly's with m
e. She sends you one of her sloppy licks.’ I stopped. This was the moment he should say how much he missed me. He'd said it in my head absolutely hundreds of times, so it was quite a shock not hearing him say it now. Instead, all I could hear was the downstairs clock ticking away in the silence.
‘I don't know if Patrick gave you my message,’ I cried at last.
‘Yes, he did,’ replied Luc, and his voice was so flat, so totally expressionless, I knew I should ring off right now while I'd still got a tiny shred of dignity left. Instead, I clung tightly on to the phone. An icy sweat broke out on my forehead.
I started burbling. ‘It was such a surprise to see Patrick today, I'd totally forgotten he worked there and –’
‘Actually, I'm really sorry,’ interrupted Luc, ‘but I'm just on my way out now.’
That was a lie, wasn't it? He wanted to end this grisly conversation. Or maybe he really was off to see her: Andrea.
‘Well, thanks for calling.’ He said this so formally it caught me under my heart. Up to a week ago I was his girlfriend, his soulmate. Now he was talking to me as if I were someone he hardly knew. And I couldn't reply. I just let out this little sob, which I really hope he didn't hear.
But he definitely heard these next words, which just tumbled out. ‘Before you go, Luc, tell me this one thing. What did I do wrong?’
‘You didn't do anything wrong,’ he replied at once. ‘It's just a very bad situation for all of us, but especially for you. I'm sincerely sorry for it all.’ His voice cracked suddenly. ‘That's all I can say right now –’ and he rang off.
I got up, my face burning with shame. How could I have misread things so completely? Luc wasn't breaking up with Andrea at all. And the very last person he wanted to talk to was me.
As soon as I heard his tone I knew that call was a huge mistake. Why didn't I ring off then? Instead, I had to ask him what I'd done wrong; that made me sound so needy (which boys hate), and a bit freaky as well.
The problem is, I just can't understand how someone can shower you with little gifts and cards with messages on them like, ‘You mean the whole world to me,’ and then, hey presto, it's over and they don't even want to talk to you on the phone after that.
You can't just switch off the way you feel about someone, as if you were extinguishing a light. Only, apparently, you can.
I just wish someone would teach me how to do it.
7.40 p.m.
I told Dad I was going round to see a friend. But guess where I really am – that's right, at that bus stop again!
‘But what on earth's the point of doing that?’ is the question you're screaming at me. Well, I've decided to just squeeze out a few extra drops of despair by hanging around here once more. Any minute now I may even see Andrea and Luc all loved up together… just to give my evening that extra kick.
I SHOULD GO HOME. I do realize that. But somehow I can't. This was where I first saw Luc and my best friend together and I suppose I still haven't got over it. That's why I'm returning here again. I just don't know what else to do.
Anyway, without Luc, nothing in my life makes any sense.
Tears have started swimming in my eyes now. I shall break down in a minute. No, please don't let me do that opposite Andrea's house. At least let me have a breakdown in the privacy of my own bedroom. Only I can't even do that, because Dad is back home and he'd be very alarmed if I cracked up. He might even send for Gloria! So it looks as if there's nothing else for it. I'll just have to delay my breakdown until tomorrow morning when he's gone to work.
I try to smile but I can't quite manage it. I feel so completely lonely and mixed up and totally lost. I suddenly think about my mum. She passed away more than six years ago now and Dad and I hardly ever mention her. She's vanished from everywhere, except my bedroom wall. She still looks down on me from there. She was such a positive, dynamic person. I really wish she were here now. She'd put me right. Suddenly I miss her more than I have for ages and ages.
Then I start looking around for that boy I met here on Saturday. I have a feeling he might turn up again tonight. I almost want him to, to tell the truth.
And for the millionth time I look at that Ex-Files card and wonder about calling him. I've done so many stupid things these past days. Will it really matter if I do just one more? And surely anything's better than skulking around here.
7.55 p.m.
I rang him. He didn't sound at all surprised to hear from me either. In fact, I really think he'd been expecting my call. He told me I wasn't to move and he'd be with me very shortly.
So I'm just sitting here waiting… I've had so much practice at doing that, these past few days. And also… Wait, I can hear footsteps. Can't be him already. I think it is… Got to stop now.
DANNY'S STORY
Chapter 5
MONDAY 27 JULY
I thought I was going to spend tonight in a police cell. Everything just kicked off this evening
It started with me storming up to Nicole's house and yelling at her through a traffic cone. (It was the nearest thing I could find to a megaphone.)
I didn't shout anything really bad; mainly I just asked her to talk to me. And if she'd done that her dad wouldn't have needed to appear – eyes popping out of his head – and he and I wouldn't have had that massive row.
And then this police car pulled up. I really thought they'd have had better things to do. I was only shouting, that's all. I wasn't smashing anything up.
The two policemen spoke to me dead quietly. I suppose this was to calm me down. Then they asked me to come with them. I was scared they were going to arrest me. But they didn't. They just wanted me to put the traffic cone back where I'd found it, and gave me a police escort while I did this. They then left. That was a massive relief.
But I've realized I sank to my very lowest tonight. These past few days Nicole had got me so pumped up with frustration, and tonight… well, I came into her life out of nowhere, and it really looks as if I'm going straight back there now.
So what was I? Her bit of rough? Her walk on the wild side?
And how did we exactly get here? I keep trying to figure that out.
Let's just rewind things to six weeks ago when we met for the very first time in the town centre. I'll always remember what Nicole's friend, James, whispered to her: ‘I see the Chavs are out in force tonight,’ and with such stinging contempt as if Chavs were carriers of some highly infectious disease – and best kept right away from.
I suppose I'm a Chav. Well, I go around with this pack of boys at night and, shock, horror, we wear black hoodies (hoodies are really just sweatshirts with an extra bit… never understood all the fuss about them). And we do wild and crazy things, like all walk into a shop together and knock a packet of biscuits over. We like to think we're gangsters!!
But I'd say I'm about fifteen or twenty other people also. And one of them is this dead romantic guy. That's not something I advertise, but yes, I believe out there somewhere is this special person who you are just destined to be with.
Gary used to laugh when I went on about this, but I think he sort of believed it, too.
Anyway, this particular night I was out with my fellow hoodies when I saw this sensational-looking girl walk quickly past with a skinny geezer. She could have been a model she was so beautiful. And I had no idea she was only fourteen, the same age as me. If someone had said she was twenty I'd have believed it. Anyway, without even quite realizing it, I smiled, and she gave me a little, teasing smile right back. We definitely had a moment there. Then she walked on and I whispered to Gary, ‘I think I've found her, my dream girl.’
And Gary said, ‘Well, go after her, you muppet. Don't let her get away.’ So I did just that. I tore over and yelled, ‘Fat penguin.’
She turned round, looking a bit startled until I quickly added, ‘Now we've broken the ice… I'm Danny, by the way, and I just had to say you look totally beautiful.’
The girl grinned at me and replied, ‘Hello, Danny, I'm Nicole.’ Str
aightaway she told me her name – I liked that.
And so many cosmic feelings were flowing between us until that guy she was with (James, as I later found out) muttered that line about the Chavs being out in force, and practically pushed her away from me. And that was it.
Gary said I should go after her and get her phone number. I replied, This isn't the right time, but I'll see her again.’ I really believed that, you know. Every night I scanned the town searching for Nicole and a week later, we did meet again.
I was only with Gary this time and we were hanging about as usual by the fountain when I sighted her. She was sitting with James on one of the benches. Beside her was this great pile of books.
‘She's a big reader all right,’ commented Gary.
A couple of times Nicole glanced in my direction. We weren't very far away and I'm sure she saw me. But she seemed a bit shy and embarrassed. Funnily enough, that's exactly how I felt. Gary was urging me to go over but I kept hesitating.
Then Nicole got up, picking up all her books – except one, which she'd obviously forgotten. I charged after her, waving that book.
‘I think you left this behind, Nicole,’ I said. James immediately groaned as if I'd done something very stupid.
‘Just put it back,’ he snarled.
‘What's his problem?’ I said to Nicole.
She replied softly. ‘I don't suppose you've heard of “book-crossing”?’
‘No… I've heard of books, though.’
Nicole laughed. ‘Actually, hardly anyone has heard of book-crossing yet. It's where a group of people pick a book they think is really good. Then they get as many secondhand copies as they can find and release these copies into railway stations and cafés and on to benches –’
‘For other people to find and read,’ I interrupted.
‘That's it.’ Then she asked, with a smile, ‘And you think we're completely mad?’
‘Of course he does,’ said James as he snatched the book out of my hand and put it back on the bench.