“Whether you choose to read it is up to you.”
She’d placed the sealed parchment in his hand, then turned and grabbed her sister. Both disappeared through the darkened corridor, like sirens in the night.
To this moment, it remained where he left it, unopened.
“The devil!” he cursed before tearing the scarlet seal and reading the words inside. He realized right away, if he could erase any moment in time, he would choose this one.
Edward,
With much deliberation, I have decided to accept your proposal.
Yours,
Kate
Wesley crumbled up the letter. His numerous wounds ached and throbbed and his blood ran cold and thick in his veins. He didn’t know what motivated Claire to give him the letter. Did she hope to taunt him or warn him? Whatever the answer, he realized with sobering clarity, he had only one option regarding Miss Kathryn Holden.
…
Twenty-four hours later, he sat across from Edward Garrett, studying him with a stern and careful gaze. Wesley had never acquired the desire for gambling, and after his father, he’d sworn he never would. This day, he had only one reason for succumbing to the addiction—to right a terrible wrong.
He thought only of Kate. Since she’d left his life, he’d stalked around Penndrake, trying to take his mind off her by tending to Gabe, his baby brother, day and night. It worked most of the time, until Wesley lay upon his bed, his mind always trailing to how much he loved her.
No words could explain how much his heart ached to have her with him again. If it weren’t for Gabe, he’d quit Penndrake, sell the place, and start his life somewhere else. In the North, perhaps.
Instead, he talked Garrett into meeting him at White’s to win Penndrake back in a game of cards.
“You do understand, if I win, I will be giving Kate her wedding present,” the man said with an assured smile.
Wesley clamped down on his teeth to keep from lashing out. Kate’s wedding. He had no doubt it wasn’t what Kate wanted, despite her letter of agreement. A lady who was known for the loveliest of proses did not agree to be a man’s wife with such simplistic words and an indifferent tone.
“From what I hear, Miss Holden has not agreed to marry you.”
The quick blanch of Garrett’s face convinced Wesley that Kate’s letter had been intercepted by the now Mrs. Rourke. Had Claire seen the unhappiness of her dear cousin and decided to intervene? Oh, what an intriguing thought.
Edward’s gambling face returned in a blink, his smile assured and intimidating. “Believe me, my lord, Miss Holden will be married. Her father has made sure of that.”
Wesley held his hand steady, although his heart pounded with a sickening thud. “So she’s being forced?”
Edward studied his hand, down forty points since they began. Still, he appeared relaxed and exerted no physical signs of worry or distress at the chance of losing. “Her family is not too happy about her association with you. They feel they must see her attached before too much damage is done to her character.”
Wesley had to disagree. From what he learned from the gossipers of Penndrake, she had suffered little damage regarding her character. He had no doubt her parents were embellishing to force her to wed. “It seems to me, they prefer Mr. Leisure to you. I just wonder whom she prefers?”
He wanted a reaction from Garrett, a sign the man knew something.
Edward’s gaze shifted to him before lowering them to the cards he held in his hand. Wesley thought he saw a flash of empathy in the man’s eyes for a second or two before disappearing into indifference.
“She prefers honesty over deceit and respect over disregard. She also deserves happiness over despair.”
Wesley leaned back, sliding his thumb across his bottom lip. The thought that her state of unhappiness was mostly his fault stabbed him deeply. Although he’d wanted to tell her the truth at the church, the truth about his feelings and about Gabe, she’d been too angry, and he’d decided to respect her wishes and allow her to move on. He owed her this. Only, as he thought more, he realized, she wouldn’t be happy married to Garrett or any other man.
“What do you have?” Garrett asked across the table, seeming less enthusiastic about playing than he did two hours ago. For reasons unknown, he had agreed to play Wesley for Penndrake. Only Wesley didn’t long to save it as much as he had before.
Kate leaving had left a hole deep in his heart, and he doubted returning there would ever be the same again, even with Gabe to occupy the halls.
“Regarding your sister, I guess congratulations are in order,” Wesley said, smiling. He needed a diversion to his thoughts of Kate.
Garrett sent him a smirk. “I would not expect any family dinner parties anytime soon, my lord.”
Wesley nodded, growing tired of the game. With a weary smile, he displayed his card. He’d won all twelve tricks, scoring him a mighty forty points against his opponent.
“Capot,” Wesley said, without even a tinge of satisfaction.
Edward bent his head and slapped what he held on the roundtable. “Then it is over, my friend.”
“It is over,” Wesley agreed, extending a hand toward the man.
Garrett stood and accepted what Wesley offered, a slow, appreciative smile dimpling his perfect features. “Penndrake is yours and Miss Holden is…well, not. It is done.”
The man began to withdraw from Wesley’s grasp, when Wesley held firm. “All of this, the gambling with my father, wanting me to marry her, the money, was so Kate could have a better life, am I correct?”
The Adam’s apple in Edward’s throat bobbed from an array of emotions. “She deserves better than anyone believes she’s worth. I know I went about it all wrong, not asking her permission or including her in the decision. Because of this, I am no better than everyone who talks down to her because they think she is less worthy than themselves.”
Edward paused from his own guilt and shook his head. “Sometimes things don’t work out. She will accept her fate, or she will most likely be forced to marry Mr. Leisure, a wiry young man with less wit and humor than a fig tree.”
Wesley loosened his grip, and Edward stepped away. They both parted as if they’d never met and nothing had ever come between them. Now, Wesley’s heart half full and half empty, he stood ready to return to Penndrake. This is what he’d wanted all along, what he schemed to obtain since he’d received the fated letter from Garrett. He should have felt relieved or happy or contented. He felt lost. Now, he was obligated to marry someone like Miss Darlington.
No. He was obligated by honor to make everything right.
…
Kate had mulled over Claire’s departing words until her head ached. While sitting in the quiet of the day—before her mother, her aunt, and her two cousins Deidra and Lilly—she rubbed at her temples until she caught Deidra staring at her.
They made eye contact, with Deidra slicing her glance toward the kitchen and then back to her. Kate sighed before standing up and shuffling into the long room, Deidra close on her heels.
“What is it?”
Deidra caught Kate by her elbow and whispered, “Lord Wesley has your letter.”
It took a dizzying moment for Kate to fully understand what Deidra meant. “Oh dear God.”
Deidra nodded with such vigor, Kate thought the young woman’s head might detach from the rest of her body. “Claire asked me to go with her to Penndrake to deliver it the night before the wedding. I wasn’t to say anything because she had it in her head that Lord Wesley would read it and then charge over here to whisk you away.” Deidra paused. “Huh, who would have pegged Claire for a silly romantic?”
Kate was only half listening. Her body had turned cold all over before breaking out into a profuse sweat. If she thought it might do some good, she would have fainted dead away. Instead, she peeked into the parlor where it still sat unearthly quiet.
“You’re going to see Lord Wesley, aren’t you?”
“Shhh,” Kate s
colded.
“You’re going to see Lord Wesley, aren’t you?” Deidra asked again, much softer.
“I’m…”
“Please take me with you, cousin,” Deidra begged with desperation, her hands clutching Kate’s in a fierce grip. “If I have to sit another minute in there, I’ll go mad.”
Kate began to shake her head until she realized the rationale of taking Deidra along. As a companion, she would not suffer an all-out scandal for defying her parents’ wishes.
“Very well. But we must leave now.”
Deidra agreed, and they secured their cloaks before taking her aunt’s coach and directing the driver toward Penndrake. Except the closer Kate drew to the estate, the louder her heart thumped until she thought it might rupture from excitement and anxiousness.
A bundle of nerves, she stood at the door, hesitating to knock in order to gather the words she wanted to say. The wind at their backs, she raised her hand, only to have the door open and find Mrs. Abram standing before her. The lady appeared to have aged ten years since Kate last saw her.
“Miss Holden, Miss Garrett,” she said, matter-of-fact.
Kate and Deidra clasped each other’s elbow. “We are not expected, but I’ve…we’ve come to see Lord Wesley.”
All of a sudden the sky opened up, causing the rain to fall like sheets of steel behind them. Mrs. Abram blinked tired eyes and shook her head. “I’m very sorry, but I’m afraid the master is not in and will not be in for several days. He’s gone to Town…on business.”
How ironic. She’d left London for Penndrake while Lord Wesley had left Penndrake for London. Just as she started to turn, a child’s cry pierced the air, startling both her and the middle-aged housekeeper.
“Oh dear, where are my manners?” Mrs. Abram said, noticeably shaken. She turned back. “Please do come inside.”
Kate and Deidra stepped into the foyer and listened further to why Lord Wesley had left.
“He is gone to Town to advertise for a governess, but until then, we are all at a loss on what to do with the boy.”
“Where is the young master now?” Kate asked the words before she even knew what she was saying.
“Lord Wesley had your old room converted into a nursery…it being right close to his lordship’s chamber. I don’t think the master has slept in days, always getting up and shooing us away when we happen to pass by.”
Kate’s heart swelled even more for the marquess. Most men of his rank would put such a child in some lonely estate or disown him altogether.
For a staff, so unprepared for such a small and dependent human being, they appeared well, though nervous. Mrs. Abram curtsied and sent Kate a tired smile.
“Please excuse me, miss. I’ll be back shortly.”
Kate nodded her understanding. Unsure of where to go, she glanced around the hall, noticing how nothing had changed, although she didn’t expect it would in the days she’d left the place. The memories flooded her consciousness, every conversation, every room full of his lordship’s ghostly presence.
Then her thoughts turned to the space she’d attempted to clean the night she’d left Penndrake. Her eyes opened further to the truths of why Lord Wesley had brought her here. Like her, he’d been trapped by her cousin’s actions and what his father had left him. Although it didn’t excuse his misdeeds, she did feel some empathy for him.
“Mabel, you must take Gabriel back upstairs,” Mrs. Abram said behind her.
Kate turned to the woman and then to a young maid halting halfway down the staircase. Without a word, the maid turned and headed back to the top of the landing.
“Wait,” Kate said, drawn by the red-streaked and wet-lashed child in Mabel’s small arms.
The young woman glanced at Mrs. Abram, who nodded and then motioned with her hand to proceed the rest of the way down. Kate met Mabel halfway across the foyer, unsure if wanting to see Lord Wesley’s son was a good idea.
Still, curiosity consumed her as she sauntered forward, the young boy as curious about her as she was about him.
“He doesn’t go to many people, miss,” warned the soft-spoken maid.
Kate held out hesitant hands, the child’s green eyes wide until he leaned forward and transferred himself against Kate’s chest.
“Well, I’ll be,” Mrs. Abram mumbled. Kate was too enamored with Gabriel to pay attention to anything else.
“Children are always drawn to Kate,” Deidra chimed in as Kate locked her gaze on the child and raised a free hand to smooth down his silken curly hair, realizing he hadn’t received the wavy locks from his father.
On her hip, she carried him, falling in love with him with every step she took. With his tiny palm, he reached out to touch her face, then yanked her hair with his chubby fists, pulling her into his little world.
She wandered through various rooms, studying him, before entering the one with the portrait of Lord Wesley and his family. Since she’d left, the space had been dusted, some furniture replaced, and the curtains cleaned and drawn back to allow in some daylight.
Gravitating to the painting, she glanced up to compare Lord Wesley’s features to that of his son. Although they shared a few similarities, he appeared to share more features with his grandfather. The deep-blue eyes, wavy black hair, and the dimpled chin were three undeniable attributes she noticed right away.
“That seems like forever ago.”
Kate twisted around to find Lady Wesley in the doorway, her appearance somber in a black afternoon dress. Thin, with streaks of gray-and-black hair, she still had a youthfulness about her.
“I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to intrude,” Kate whispered to keep from startling the child.
“Intrude? Why this room hasn’t been occupied in years.” Her gaze flitted to the enormous portrait.
Somewhat intimidated by the man and young boy who stood giantlike, Kate tightened her hold on the child, allowing him to rest his head in the crook of her neck while she twisted and hummed a quiet tune. More than before, she needed to confront his lordship. More than she wanted the letter she’d written to Edward, she wanted the truth, no matter how much it hurt.
When she realized she’d stayed too long, she curtsied and left Lord Wesley’s mother to her own thoughts and memories. In the foyer, Kate shifted to hand Gabriel back to Mabel when the melancholy servant girl lifted her finger to her lips and pointed to the child with her other.
Kate glanced down to find the boy sleeping, his weight lighter, his breathing slower. Without exchanging a word, she followed Mabel up the stairs to the nursery, and instead of laying the child down in the two-decades-old French baby crib, marked up well by a former energetic dweller, she sank into a settee.
Mabel grabbed a blanket from his crib, draped it over his back, and left them alone. For a half hour, Kate rested, content to stay like this until the shadows shifted around them. She rose with a reluctant sigh and upon the swell of his soft cheeks, placed a kiss before, at last, giving him up. He stirred, a smile lifting ever so slightly and then disappearing as fast as it appeared.
“Sweet dreams, little one,” she said, turning to bid the rest of Penndrake good night.
Downstairs, she heard a conversation, a man’s voice, and her heart jumped, only to plummet when she recognized the voice as Mr. Darlington.
She peeked around the corner to find the man engrossed in a cheerful conversation with a gushing Deidra. Unsure if the man’s sister stood nearby, Kate cautioned a step closer.
“No, I’m afraid Vivian is in Bath,” the man said with a charming smile in Deidra’s direction.
Relieved not to have to compete for Lord Wesley’s attention, Kate showed herself and found the foyer occupied by two other guests, Mr. and Mrs. Bartram.
Before she had the chance to acknowledge them, Mrs. Bartram’s gaze landed on her, her beautiful face lighting up with immediate happiness. “Miss Holden.”
“Mrs. Bartram. I had no idea.” Kate allowed the woman to envelop her in her tall, comforting frame.
/> “Jonathan will be so sorry he missed you. We kept him home with his sisters.”
Unfortunately, Mrs. Bartram’s happiness at seeing Kate did not reach her husband. He stood with concern etched at the corner of his tired eyes.
“Mr. Bartram,” Kate acknowledged with a curtsy.
“Miss Holden. It’s…nice seeing you again.” He bowed, doing everything in his power to avoid looking at her. Kate wondered if he’d committed a sin by lying so forthright. She did understand the man’s loyalty to Lord Wesley. For this, she could not fault him.
“Have you come to see his lordship?” he asked.
She nodded. “Yes, I’ve come to speak to him about a…rather personal matter.”
Mr. Bartram sent her a cautious smile. “I had heard that you were engaged to your—”
“No, sir. I’m not engaged.” She inhaled, afraid she’d come off more hostile than resolute. “Please forgive me, sir. It’s…been a long couple of days.”
It was his turn to nod. “I have no doubt.”
She tried to smile, but her coming to Penndrake had proven nothing but vexing to her delicate nerves. What did she think? That she’d return with Lord Wesley waiting in the foyer, prepared to welcome her with a kiss that would leave her ready to forgive and forget?
Her shoulders dropped at her ridiculous imagination. She was here to retrieve the letter so she might burn it, thoroughly.
Oh, that damnable letter. Had she not learned from her cousin to keep most confessions to one-on-one conversations? Convinced his lordship had most likely read and drawn the worst conclusion of her, she turned to Deidra and grasped her arm.
“Come. We should go.”
“Please, Kate, can we stay? Just a little while longer.”
Kate let out a breath, struggling with what to say or do. Should she trip back into a life she didn’t want, or stay and wait for his lordship’s return, come what may? She winced at the answer, wondering if he thought her full of untruths now. After all, didn’t she, just twenty-four hours ago, confess to going to her grave loving him?
“Yes, please stay, Miss Holden,” both Mr. and Mrs. Bartram said at the same time.
A Mistress for Penndrake Page 25