I look up at him and it kills me to know I’ve made him cry. He sits on the bed and I climb onto his lap and we both take the paper in our hands.
It’s all we have. There is no marriage. There is no talk of love. This is it.
I gently take it from him and put it back in the drawer. My lips touch his cheek then I tell him, “Forever. Remember, Rod? That paper binds us forever.”
I move off his lap and take his boots off as he looks down and seems so sad and somewhat broken.
After I get his boots off, I take off his shirt and then undo his pants and pull at him to stand up. “Come on, baby. Let me give you a bath and then I’ll rub you down with some oils. After that I’ll make you some meatloaf.”
He follows me, but I feel something missing. The cockiness, the control, the strength.
And it makes me sick to my stomach that I did this to him.
What’s wrong with me?
Chapter 8
JENNA
The months have passed since our fight and things haven’t been the same. Rod’s been passive, and I feel like it’s only a matter of time until he ends this.
I broke something in him that day and it looks like no matter how hard I try to get things back to normal between us, I can’t.
I told Reed about the broken computer and he said to use one at the library so that won’t happen again. He told me to be very careful as he’s afraid if Rod catches me doing this then he might hurt me physically.
He told me to tell him if he does.
It made me feel bad for not being truthful with him. He’s doing so much for me and I’m lying to him. It feels wrong.
On a good note, I’m acing my classes and was able to take a few tests that gave me credit without having to take the actual classes.
Seems I am smart!
As I close out the tab for my English class on the library’s computer, my cell rings. It’s Rod, so I hurry to answer it. “Hey, sweetie.”
“Where the fuck are you, Jenna?” He sounds pissed.
I hurry out of the library as the librarian looks over her glasses at me with a scowl on her wrinkled old face. I try my best to ignore her and hurry out. “I’m on my way home. I took a walk. I was feeling kind of cooped up and needed some fresh air.”
And as I go around the corner, I see him standing there, looking at me. I put the phone in my purse. He puts his in his pants pocket. Then his arm goes around my shoulders.
“In the library. Not out for a walk in the fresh air.” His words are controlled and tight. “Lies, Jenna.”
“I wanted to find a book to read too. I was doing a few things on my walk, Rod.” I laugh and try to act cool about things.
“Someone, your mother, I suppose, left a letter for you taped to our front door. A letter from Arizona State University. Seems congratulations are in order, Jenna. You managed to gain six credits for classes you tested for. How wonderful is that news?” He stops and turns me to look at him.
“I was able to get into the college’s online program. I got financial aid to pay for the classes. I was going to tell you. I wanted to surprise you, Rod. I wanted you to be proud of me.” My words are coming out very fast and my heart is racing.
“Did my brother talk you into doing this behind my back?”
“Reed?” The name comes out high and shrill. “No! I don’t talk to him.”
“Then who?” His arm leaves my shoulder as we get to our little house and he moves his hand up into my hair.
“I did this on my own, Rod.”
Then he has me by the hair and lifts my feet off the ground. Then he puts me back down so hard I fall. Then he drags me through the yard.
I don’t fight or scream. I try to get my feet under me so my body doesn’t drag any more than possible. My knees are burning as the ground scrapes the flesh from them.
The old woman from next door looks outside and shouts for him to stop. But Rod seems not to hear her. He lets my hair go and I fall to the ground. “Get up, bitch!”
I try to get up and, as soon as I do, he pushes me back down. “Get up!”
I scramble to my feet once again and keep my head low. I stand still.
“Come here,” he says with a low and firm tone.
I go to him and he pushes me back so hard, I fly a few feet, then fall on my ass.
Sirens fill the air as one of the three cops we have in this tiny town skids to a stop at the front of our house. He jumps out of the car and takes his gun out and points it at Rod. “On the ground, Rod!” he shouts.
The fall on my ass knocked the breath out of me and I struggle to get my wind as I watch Rod fall to his knees with his hands behind his head. Then he slowly goes to his stomach and lies face down in the dirt of our front yard.
The officer walks up to him and holsters his handgun, then takes out a set of handcuffs.
With a cough, my breath returns and I shout, “No! Don’t do that to him!”
I get up and stumble over to the officer. He looks up at me from his kneeling position behind Rod. “Look, I’m taking him in. Your knees are bleeding and a few other places on you are as well.”
“Please, let him go. This is my fault. I was lying to him. I’ll take what I have coming to me for that.” I give the cop a pleading look.
He shakes his head as I see the dirt move near Rod’s mouth. “Let him take me away, Jenna. My heart is broken. I may as well sit in jail after what you’ve done to me.”
I break down crying hard and go to my bloody knees in front of him. “Please, don’t take him, sir!”
Tears pour out of my eyes as the cop just shakes his head. He looks at me. “You sure about this?”
I nod. “Please, sir. I am sure.”
He stands up and says, “Okay, Rod. She saved your ass. I hope you repay the favor. If I get called back out here for any domestic situation, I’m taking you both in.”
Rod rolls over on his back as the cop walks away. Tears fill his eyes again, only the second time I’ve seen this.
Then he holds out his arms and I go into them.
Right there in the front of the little home we’ve made, he takes me into his arms and we cry together. He keeps murmuring to me that he’s so sorry and I say it right back to him.
“Let’s go inside, baby,” he says, and I climb off his lap and hold out my hand for him.
He takes it and I help him to his feet. Then he picks me up in his arms and carries me inside. In the bathroom, we both get washcloths and wet them and I clean the dirt off him and he cleans the dirt and blood off me.
He puts some antibiotic ointment on my knees and kisses the bandages after covering the scrapes. Then he picks me up and carries me to the bed and sits me on it.
I watch as he goes to the top dresser drawer and he takes out all the devices he has in there and the leather belts and carries them out of the room. I hear the squeaking of the trash can lid and then he comes back in with a screwdriver and takes the hook off the wall.
My stomach is tight as I think he may be about to tear up the contract. I don’t say a word as he comes back and touches my chin. “No more punishments.”
My eyes go wide. “What does that mean?”
“It means your training is over. When it came down to it, you kept your head and told the cop to let me go. You know who you belong to. You know how to keep my dick out of other women and out of jail and in your life. You’re done. And now we can move on to the next step.” He climbs onto the bed, pushing me back as he does.
I fall back as he straddles me, then leans over and kisses me. Soft and easy. Different.
We both stink like sweat, blood, and tears and never have I felt more comfortable with a person. I can taste the salt of our combined tears on his lips, and I know he can taste them on mine.
Our relationship has seemed a little like a level of hell. But it seems that level has been passed and the sweet taste of victory is ours now.
Somehow our clothes are removed and we’re nothing but flesh against
flesh and it feels freeing and amazing. His hands move over my skin like water over pebbles.
His muscles ripple with every stroke and his mouth coaxes my tongue to slip further into his mouth than I ever have before. His cock moves further into me as he takes my ass in his hands and pulls me up to him.
Short strokes have our bodies connecting in a way we haven’t before and, in no time, I can feel the wave building in me as his body pushes against my clit.
Faster and faster he makes the little pumps and then it hits me and I moan with the sweet pleasure. He keeps doing it until I’m a writhing mess beneath him.
Then he stops his kiss and looks at me as he cums. His liquid heat fills me as our eyes remain locked.
If I wasn’t on the Pill, this man would’ve just gotten me pregnant. Of that, I have no doubt. And I have never felt closer to him than I do now.
His lips quirk to the side. “You are mine, Jenna. You will always be mine.”
I press my fingertips to his full lips. “I will always be yours, Rod.”
Staying on top of me, he reaches over and picks something up. It’s the letter from the college.
I wait to see what he’s going to say or do and he touches the tip of my nose with the envelope. “I want you to know that I’m proud of you for this. Keep going if you want. I think it’s cool to have a smart old lady.”
Wrapping my arms around him, I bury my face in his chest. “Thank you! You have no idea what your approval means to me.”
“Your happiness means everything to me, Jenna.” His lips press against my temple and he rolls over, keeping me with him.
I look down at him and see a difference in his blue eyes, a little softness I’ve never seen before.
I lay down on his wide chest as his dick is still inside me and his arms are holding me to him. My eyes close and his breathing steadies.
We fall asleep in a position we’ve never fallen asleep in before and things feel different.
Things feel better!
Chapter 9
JENNA
Greens and reds leave the Manning’s living room in a Christmas colored hue. Lights flash on the huge Christmas tree which is strategically placed by the new bay window in the front of the room.
Christmas evening is set aside for only immediate family. This is the first year I’ve attended the dinner with Rod. I suppose I’m getting to be like family in his eyes.
Since the incident, that’s what we all call it, Rod and I have gotten along better than I ever expected. He no longer goes out. He comes home right after work and takes off his own boots, gets his own beer, and takes his own shower.
I’m usually still busy with schoolwork when he gets home. In the corner of the living room, I’m usually at work where I’ve set up a desk and use the laptop he bought me to do my classes.
It’s normal now. A great normal.
Sitting in the living room on the sofa, I gaze at the tall tree and think about one day having a house big enough to have a real tree for our own Christmas.
We have a tiny fake tree that sits on the kitchen table. The house is just too little for anything grander than that.
Rod and Reed are cleaning the kitchen and refused to let me help after their mother and father prepared a very yummy Christmas dinner of not-so-traditional sausage and potatoes with green beans mixed in with them. A side of cornbread rounded out the filling, yet inexpensive, dinner.
I found out it was the very first Christmas meal Sue and Jason had in their first year of marriage when they were both broke college students living in a tiny efficiency apartment in Tempe, Arizona, where they both went to college and met each other.
Jason’s family was from here. Jerome, Arizona, had always been his home and when they graduated, they moved back here and started teaching.
So this little odd meal is a tradition and as we were eating Rod made mention that he’d like us to carry the tradition on with our family, once we have one.
I noticed Reed’s eyes cutting at me when his brother said that. He looked a little unsure for some reason. Like Rod and I making a family isn’t ever going to happen, a thought which seems ludicrous to me. Of course Rod and I will have a family someday.
Sure, he still won’t let me say the word love, and he won’t use it either. But I can see it in his eyes. And feel it in his touch.
He’s different now. A great different.
I think he could break down and say the word anytime now. And if for some reason it’s a thing which can never break free from his lips, then I can accept that.
Reed comes into the living room, wiping his hands with a dishrag and running his deep blue eyes over me as I sit here. “So, how did you like your first Manning family Christmas dinner, Jenna?”
“It was great,” I say with a smile. “When will you be bringing a woman home to join us, Reed?”
He looks away. “Not anytime soon. I just can’t seem to find Mrs. Right. There are plenty of Mrs. Right Now’s, though.” He laughs and Rod comes in behind him.
He claps Reed on the back. “Still playing the field then, little bro?”
Reed nods. “For now, I am. I’m only twenty-three. No need to rush. I’m not an old man like you are, Rod. At twenty-six, you’re nearing the terrible thirties.”
Sue and Jason come in from the backyard. They wanted to take a Christmas night dip in the swimming pool Reed bought them.
Clad in matching, fluffy white robes with their names embroidered in royal blue, they smile like newlyweds as they come in. Sue shakes some water from her silver, short curls. “Thanks to Reed, we swim every night. It gets the old blood pumping. Adding in the heat to it was genius, son.”
Jason sits down in a chair and pulls Sue to sit on his lap. “Can’t thank you enough, boy.”
Reed gives them a smile and a nod and Rod comes to sit next to me. He takes my hand then moves to the floor in front of me as he takes something from his pocket.
The fact that he’s only on one knee has my heart racing. A quick glance at his parents shows me his mother is covering her mouth with her hands and his father is smiling.
My eyes roam over to find Reed looking at his brother with what looks like a clenched jaw. His body is tense and his eyes are a bit narrow.
Then I look back at Rod and see the diamond in the middle of the ring shining in alternate green then red lights as the Christmas lights reflect off of it.
His hand is shaking as he holds the little black box. “Jenna Foster,” his words come out very soft and quiet. So quiet I can barely hear him. “Will you marry me?”
For some reason, I look away from his glistening eyes for a split second and see Reed still staring at his brother. Then I look back into the man I love’s steely blue eyes and say, “Yes, I will marry you, Rod.”
I hold out my hand and he slides the ring onto my finger and lets out a breath. “It fits! I was so worried it wouldn’t.”
A laugh comes out of me and I blink back tears. Out of the corner of my eye I see Reed leave the room. It makes me feel bad, for some reason.
Rod stands and picks me up in his arms. He hugs me and then kisses me. A soft kiss. A kiss that tells me more than he can say.
He loves me!
When he lets me go, I find his mom and dad waiting to hug us and his dad grabs him up as his mother grabs me. Then they exchange us and I feel like a real part of their family.
“This is so fantastic,” Sue says as she holds Rod back and looks at him with tears in her eyes. “You couldn’t have found a better woman for you, son. Since you’ve been with Jenna you’ve come such a long way from the moody child and teenager you were. She’s been a very good influence on you. Congratulations.”
And with her words I see a flash of anger in his eyes. “Well, I wouldn’t give her all the credit, Mom.”
Then Jason adds, “I’d give her most of it.” He laughs, but it doesn’t soften what seems like a blow to Rod.
Then his eyes cut to me. “Is that what you think too?”
The smile returns to his face. I guess as long as I see him as the hero, that is all that matters to him. “Thanks, baby.”
Sue pulls Rod toward the kitchen. “Let’s grab that bottle of pink champagne I picked up for New Year’s Eve and open it. This is more special than that day, anyway.”
Jason follows along and I go to the bathroom to make sure I don’t have mascara running down my face from the tears I shed when he asked me the big question.
After dabbing a bit of water on my face and wiping away the streaks the tears made down my pink cheeks, I walk out of the bathroom and find Reed leaning against the door of his bedroom.
“Hey,” he says. He wiggles his finger at me, gesturing for me to come to him.
I go and ask, “What’s up?”
After he looks down the hallway, I suppose to make sure no one is there, he asks, “Is this really what you want, Jenna?”
“Of course, Reed. Why wouldn’t I? You know he’s changed. You know he’s okay with me getting my education now. He’s really different. I told you this.”
My body feels like it’s been zapped with electricity as his hand touches my shoulder. “Jenna, this is always how Rod’s been. He can be very good for a year or two at a time. But never any longer than that. He will go back to the way he was. He always has.”
“I haven’t always been a part of his life, though.”
“You’re great and all, but there is no one who can keep him from the self-destruction he’s always been known for. Not even a little angel like you, Jenna.” He moves his hand off me and the energy he sent through me starts to go away.
“I’m going to try, Reed.” I look into his eyes and see so much he’s not saying. “Is there any other reason I shouldn’t marry him, Reed?”
He takes in a deep breath and runs his hand over my cheek and my knees go weak. “I don’t see him getting married, Jenna. You’ve said it yourself; he doesn’t believe in marriage. I know he made the grand gesture, and I think you’ll be waiting forever to get him down the actual aisle.”
His Sweet Torment: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance Page 29