by Debra Dunbar
“I can’t do it. I can’t.” His voice was wooden. “I’m so sorry, Ahia. I know how much this means to you, but I just can’t manage this.”
“But you did do it. You had it. It was there. It just wasn’t stable. Maybe if we try again–“
“I can’t do it.” This time his voice had an edge to it. I looked up and saw the anger, the self-blame in his eyes. “You need a better archangel. I’ll ask Gabe to help you. Or Micha. He owes me a favor, and I know he’ll be able to open a gateway that doesn’t explode. There’s a war going on in Aaru, and I’m not sure they’ll be able to get away, but maybe if I beg them…”
Before I could protest he walked away, hopping over the rubble, striding past my car and down toward the harbor. I’d seen the wounds on his spirit-self, the wounds in his heart. He’d always been the weakest of his four siblings, hiding his humiliation by acting the carefree clown. He didn’t think he was good enough. He didn’t think he could do it. I knew better, but I couldn’t be the one to give him confidence. That was the sort of thing that needed to come from inside.
He needed his space right now, not me coddling him and being his cheerleader, so instead of following him, I sat down on a pile of shredded sweatshirts, put my head in my hands, and cried. I cried for Brent and the tourists, because by the time another archangel got here, it might be too late for them. It was probably too late for them already. With each passing minute I felt my hope eroding away.
And I cried for Raphael. I cried for the little angel who’d been loved by his siblings, but had grown up thinking he’d never be as powerful, as valued as they were. I cried for the archangel who felt like a fraud leading his choir, knowing most of the angels there were only using him as a stepping stone. I cried for the lonely angel who no one wanted, who suspected every advance was because of his position and status. For the beautiful, powerful, fun, daring, amazing angel that I loved.
I felt a hand on my shoulder and looked up into his violet eyes. He frowned, then wiped away one of my tears with his finger. “Don’t cry. We’ll find him. I promise, we’ll find him. I’ll try again. And again and again until I’ve got nothing left. I’ve already sent for Micha, but it might take him a few weeks to get here. I won’t give up trying until he arrives. I promise.”
Silly, adorable angel. I stood and threw my arms around him hugging him tight and nestling my face into the crook of his neck.
He stroked my back and murmured into my ear. “We’ll find your werewolf friend. I won’t let you down. I can’t promise I won’t screw it up, but I’ll give it my best shot.”
It took three more tries, but finally Raphael managed to get the gateway to stay open and hold back the explosion. I threw on the backpack and grabbed the rifle, standing beside him to wait for his signal.
“Ready?”
I hesitated. “You’re coming, right?”
His face was grim. “I’m not letting you go in there alone. I’m just not sure how long I can hold this together and I’m trying to give you a head start.”
I nodded, feeling a sudden spike of fear. Raphael wouldn’t send me in if he wasn’t sure it was stable for travel. He certainly wouldn’t send me in first if he didn’t have faith that he could get me through safely. It was him I was afraid for.
“Go.”
Jumping through the gateway, I felt it tear and pull at me. This was different than the others that had seemed more like doorways. This was like a huge tunnel. I flipped around, pushed forward and spun by unseen winds. Everything was red and orange with no substance, a discordant note so loud it hurt my ears. When I came out the other side I felt an explosion at my back, propelling me further forward. I was disoriented and fully expected to stumble and fall onto my face. What I didn’t expect was to find myself free-falling through the air.
My wings burst from my back, ripping both my shirt and the straps from my backpack. I grabbed at my waist, and caught one of them before I lost the pack, my other hand clutching the rifle. The ground was far enough away that I managed to right myself and slow my descent somewhat before hitting gritty, metallic sand that thankfully cushioned my landing.
Jumping up I looked around in panic. I’d felt the gateway explode. Had Rafi made it through? Was he still on the other side? Had he been in that tunnel when it had blown up?
I stood up, slung the backpack and the strap of the rifle over my shoulder and debated what I should do. It was blazingly hot, especially for an angel who had lived in Alaska for five thousand years. Should I start walking to see if I could find Rafi? I was worried that he might be hurt and unable to heal himself after expending so much energy on the gateway. But I was afraid that I’d be heading the wrong way, that I’d get completely lost. I was afraid that if I left this spot, Rafi wouldn’t be able to find me. After searching as far as my eyes could see for some sort of dark blob that could be my angel, I decided to wait. In an hour or two if he hadn’t found me, I’d leave some sort of marker, and head out.
Chapter 31
Brent
The trip over the mountain had been harder than I’d imagined. We’d needed to use the climbing equipment for everyone except Kennedy and me. I’d stood at the top and basically hauled Renee up, then went down to tie Ray to my back for the climb up. It was impossible to do it any other way except putting him over my shoulder. We’d tried to immobilize his arm as much as we could, but by the time we were down in the valley, his face was gray and covered in cold sweat. Doc was right — this was a bad idea, although it was the better of a whole bunch of worse ideas. We couldn’t stay in that cave to starve and die from lack of water. I couldn’t run back and forth multiple times per day filling four plastic bottles and trying to hunt or gather food. But now we were faced with the prospect of camping out in the open on the edge of this valley.
“Should we stay here and try to reach the water tomorrow?” I asked Kennedy, nodding toward Ray.
She chewed on her lip. “How far is the water from here?”
I closed my eyes and lifted my head, scenting the breeze. “Five miles, give or take.”
“Ray can’t walk that far. I’m not sure he can make it more than a mile, and we’d be traveling at a snail’s pace.”
“I can carry him.”
Her lip twitched. “Aren’t you tired? You hauled four people up that mountain and fireman-carried Ray. Sure you don’t need to run around naked for a while to recharge before you perform any more heroic feats of strength?”
I was tired, but I needed to make sure these humans were safe. “I’ll get naked once we get to the water, I promise.”
“I’m going to hold you to that.” She looked over at Ray once more. “We can’t keep bumping his arm around.”
“I’ll carry him like this.” I scooped Kennedy up, one arm under her thighs and the other supporting her back. It was worth it to hear her quick gasp, smell the faint scent of lavender and vanilla from her hair.
“All right, Muscles. If you can carry him like this for five miles, then this doctor gives her approval.”
Five miles took much longer than I’d anticipated. Renee was struggling. Crystal and the two boys were clearly not used to long hikes like this, especially thirsty and hungry. Even Kennedy looked like she was ready to collapse. It was beginning to grow dark when we staggered in view of the water. Kennedy insisted on running it through her little filtration system, while I set the boys and Crystal to finding wood both for a fire and for a shelter.
There were much larger mountains about twenty to thirty miles straight ahead. We were in a rocky-sandy area with knee-high blue-green grasses and squat, gnarled trees. The trees were taller, greener, and clustered closer together near the creek, and off to our right I could see what seemed to be thick forest. That might be where we’d want to go eventually, but I didn’t want to drag everyone all over the place with our food supply at zero.
The boys started a pile of sticks, then ran off for more while Kennedy passed out the water bottles.
“Can you get a
fire going? I’m going to explore a bit around the area while it’s still light out,” I asked her.
“Does this involve you getting naked again?” she teased.
“Actually it does.”
She sighed. “Fine. I’ll stay here, make a fire and check everyone’s injuries. But the next time I want to run around naked with you too.”
“Next time,” I promised. Then I headed along the creek bank until I was out of sight to change. Stripping off my clothes, I began to shift. Claws and snout lengthened, fur thickening along my arms and torso. I dropped to all fours, stretching when I finally finished. Then I ran.
The fur shielded my skin from the setting sun, cooling me as I raced toward the forest. My clawed feet dug into the dense sand and dirt, kicking up behind me. It felt glorious. My blood sang with the extension and contraction of each muscle. With the snout, I definitely scented the aroma of plentiful water in the wooded area.
And the smell of something else — cooking meat. While that meant there was something edible, a deer or rabbit or whatever animals they had here, it also meant that there was someone, something, cooking that animal. The fur prickled up on my neck, rising in a ridge along my spine. Something deep inside me growled, warning me that whatever awaited us in the forest, it wasn’t something I wanted to meet face-to-face.
Chapter 32
Raphael
Everything exploded as I exited the gateway. I knew my hold on it was unsteady, but kept it together enough to ensure Ahia got inside before it slipped from my grasp. In all my three billion years never had I known of a place so resistant to connecting to a portal.
I revealed my wings, tried to fly, but couldn’t. I was drained, exhausted. I’d given every last bit of myself to keep that gateway from tearing us apart, and being shoved through it, keeping Ahia safe had thrown me completely off balance. I didn’t even know which way was up. I spiraled downward, unable to lift a finger to help myself.
When I hit the ground I bounced, feeling bones twist and snap even though I’d landed in something that felt like warm, gritty sand. When I came to rest, I could do nothing but lay there, wings sprawled out, limbs bent in places they shouldn’t be bending.
Ahia. I had a moment of panic thinking that she might have been trapped in the gateway, crushed when it closed, but I remembered sending her through ahead of me, feeling her with me when we’d come through the other side. In the disorienting fall, we’d separated, but she was here. Somewhere.
And although I was relieved she’d not been trapped in the gateway, I wasn’t sure how much better off she was here. I should have made her wait on the other side while I went on this rescue mission. I shouldn’t have sent her through. I knew they were prone to instability. They’d self-destructed three times. What did I think would happen? We were trapped here and I wasn’t sure I could manage to get us back home. This was all my fault. I’d screwed up once again, and no shrug and cocky grin would make this one go away.
I healed myself, nearly passing out from the effort, and got to my feet. She had to be close by. Where was she? If she was lying crumpled and injured in the sand, I’d never forgive myself.
“Raphael!”
I nearly dropped to my knees in relief hearing her voice. I turned around and saw her, running as best she could across the sand, using her wings for balance. I staggered toward her, falling backward to the ground as she launched herself at me.
“I waited for you where I landed, but when you didn’t come I went to look for you. Thankfully I chose the right direction. When I saw you lying on the ground, I thought you were dead. But then I saw you stand, saw you heal yourself. You’re okay. You’re okay.” Her voice rose in pitch, fear in her eyes as she ran her hands all over me. I won’t lie, it felt good. It gave me an excuse to lay there on my back with her on top of me for just a few moments longer.
“Yes, I’m okay. It knocked me sideways when we were thrown through and I couldn’t manage to fly, so I crashed pretty hard. Are you okay?” I got to feel her up too, just to check for injuries, of course.
“I fell through, but I managed to right myself and get my wings under me. I couldn’t see you. I’m fine, but,” she bit her lip, looking up at me. “Do you think they fell too? Did the rift come out that far above ground? Because I’m not sure anyone, even Brent, could have survived a fall like that.”
Something made me think the rift hadn’t opened at quite the altitude that my gateway had. “Those weird monsters came through, and by your description I doubt they could fly. If they were pulled through the rift, it couldn’t have been too far above the ground.”
She nodded. “Do you think they came out near here? I don’t know how big this planet is. I’m hoping we don’t have to search it all.”
I scanned the horizon. “We’ll just have to start looking. I followed what I knew of the rift pattern, so I doubt they came out more than a few miles from here at most.”
The breath she let out did nothing to ease her tension. Her head dropped to rest on my chest, her hands fanning out along the side of my ribs. “Oh Rafi, how are we going to get out of here? We might be stuck here as well.”
I didn’t have the heart to add to her worries. Yes, we were most likely trapped — at least for the time being. It would take me a while to recover enough energy to attempt another gateway, but I’d do it. Even if it killed me, I’d make sure Ahia got home safely, with or without her werewolf and the humans.
“I’ll figure out a way,” I told her instead. “We’ll search for signs of the others. I doubt they stayed here in this heat, so I’m going to assume they’d head toward those mountains off in the distance.”
“It’s so hot. If they were injured, they’d have died of heatstroke or dehydration by now.” Her voice was defeated.
I cupped her cheeks and kissed her forehead. “Then we’ll find their bodies, and you’ll know what happened. If we don’t find their bodies, then there’s a good chance they made it to shelter. Keep positive. We’re here. We came for them. We might as well assume they’re alive and waiting somewhere out of the heat for rescue.”
Her head came up, eyes sparkling. “I can’t imagine my life without you. I love you.” Then her lips met mine, pouring every bit of feeling and emotion into the kiss.
She loved me. By all that was holy she actually loved me. I’m not sure where I stood in relation to this werewolf-guy, but she felt something for me that she didn’t feel for him. When she pulled away, I reached out to touch her hair, stroking her spirit-self as I ran my fingers through the dark strands.
“I love you too.” I’d never been one to hide my feelings. Ever. Even if it meant I was vulnerable. Even if it meant I got hurt. Although I got the impression that this was one time I wouldn’t walk away with my heart in pieces.
She gave me a quick kiss then pulled back. “Let’s go rescue some humans and a werewolf.” Her smile turned wicked. “And I believe I owe you a blow-job.”
Chapter 33
Ahia
Rafi had to take a raincheck on the blow-job, and as much as I wanted to snuggle up to him and forget about the world, time was most likely running out for Brent and the others. And then there was the sand, which was hot and especially gritty, and managing to work its way into all sorts of areas that sand should not be.
We decided to search on a grid pattern heading toward the mountains in the distance, looping back and forth so we didn’t lose track of each other. I was scared. I was scared to be separated from Rafael. The day’s activities had taken a visible toll on him, but even with the wounds to his spirit-self and his exhaustion, he was still the most powerful being I’d ever known. What if those raggedy monsters showed up and ambushed me? What if this endless sea of sand disoriented me and I never saw Raphael again? What if I was alone here, trapped for all of eternity?
But Raphael would never leave me. If we somehow lost each other, I had faith that he’d find me. He’d turn this world upside down to find me. And as much as I didn’t want to draw att
ention to our arrival, if I needed to I’d fire the rifle. That would bring Rafi, and I was hoping bullets would either deter or take down any attackers.
After the third circuit, we met in the middle and eyed the mountains. I thought they were about ten miles off, but they looked to be close — maybe five miles at the most. It was slow going having to weave back and forth on our search and I weighed the possibility that Brent and the others could be in the mountains suffering from exposure and dehydration versus the chance that we might miss them or their bodies if we headed straight there.
“Hey.” The angel’s fingers caressed my cheek and he pulled me close for a soft kiss. “We’ll find them. I’ll get us back. And I will kill anything here that so much as looks at you wrong.”
I know he was trying to make me feel better, and in a way his words did. As long as I was with Raphael, had him nearby, I’d be fine.
We continued for three more hours, crisscrossing each other’s paths multiple times. The sun was touching the horizon, temperature dropping a good twenty degrees before I saw it — something rectangular and reflecting the setting sun in a section of churned-up sand.
It was a cell-phone. I couldn’t believe there would be any other reason for a high-end Samsung smart phone to be someplace that I was pretty sure didn’t have cell reception. It must have belonged to one of the tourists.
The battery was drained. And about six feet from it was a suspicious mound of sand. With my heart thumping, I knelt down and brushed the grit away, revealing a body.