by Blue Saffire
I can be so foolish. I should’ve known someone as gorgeous as him would have a girlfriend that’s equally as devastatingly beautiful as him. I shake off my feelings and my thoughts and move to find a seat.
It would be a lie if I said my eyes didn’t try to find Perry more than once. Well, I assumed that’s his name since he never told me his name and that’s what the blonde called him. When I did find him in the front I notice that he and Dakota are indeed sitting together and she keeps leaning in to whisper to him, every once in a while.
She even turns in her seat once, and our eyes connected. She gives me a small smile, then turns to whisper something else to Perry next to her. I don’t know how to take that or the questioning looks and glares that I’m getting from other girls in the class.
I’m feeling sick already. I want to blend in here as best as I can without being noticed. I want to finish these next two years without being reminded that I don’t fit in.
I sigh to myself. Good luck with that. This is the same pony, Nicole, different saddle.
chapter two
Normal
Caleb
“Who’s your new girlfriend?” Dakota wiggles her brows at me.
“I don’t have a girlfriend, Dakota,” I reply and look at her confused.
She laughs at me and nags my ribs with her elbow. “Oh, come on. Who was the pretty girl you came into class with? Was she the reason you were late?”
“No, coach wanted to talk to me after practice. Cameron couldn’t wait around for me. He had to meet up with Kay. I thought I could take a shortcut to class and I ran into Nicole. I almost knock her on her ass. She was lost, so I helped her find the class,” I reply.
“Oh, shit, I’m sorry, Caleb. I forgot Cameron asked me to come to meet you at the field after practice,” Dakota makes that face she makes when she is sorry or guilty about something. I know that one. I see it a lot.
“I’m not a baby. I know how to walk to class,” I grumble. “Sure, I almost bulldozed a girl on the way, but I made it.”
“Oh, my God, was that a joke,” Dakota nudges me. “Cameron was right. You being on the team is having all types of influences on you.”
“Well, that’s what mama’s plan was right,” I frown and watch as Dakota’s face turns into a pout. Her eyes are far away. I press my lips and fight not to squint. I’m not sure what she’s thinking. That frustrates me.
“You know, Aunt Jemma wants the best for you and so does Uncle Kyle. They may not show it the way the rest of us do, but they mean well. Don’t you like college and playing on the team?” She says after a few minutes.
I shrug. “I love my classes and I really like that you and Cameron are here with me. Everyone knows playing is like breathing to me. It’s the only time I can just be me and I have it all figured out.”
“I still don’t get that. You’re so amazing, I would think that playing would drive you insane,” she pauses and shakes her head, “but watching you. It’s like you said, you would never know, you know,” Dakota says while tilting her head and studying me.
“I couldn’t do it without you guys. Your mom and dad, Cameron, and Thomas, you all have helped me figure a lot out. I just wish…do you think I could have what Cameron has someday?”
My mind turns to the girl I almost ran over. She was the prettiest girl I’ve ever seen. Her pretty brown skin, her hot body, and those eyes. I swear I could spend hours learning to read those eyes, trying to figure out everything they would tell me about her. I love how her hair cups her face.
I blink several times to focus. If I don’t I know I’ll get lost in my thoughts of her for hours. I wouldn’t mind that, but I want to hear Dakota’s response.
Dakota looks up at me and I realize she is bewildered. I know the look from when I tutored her in math. “Cameron and Kay,” I elaborate. “Do you think a girl could love me like that?”
Dakota’s eyes take on what I think of as gentle look as she looks me in the eyes. She reaches for my face, but pauses and drops her hand to her side. I watch her lips turn up.
“Yeah, Caleb, I think the right girl is going to come along and she’s going to get you and you’re going to be able to let her in. Absolutely handsome, you’ll have what Cameron has and so much more, because you deserve it,” Dakota chokes out and I note the tears in her eyes.
I think about my cousin’s words, but my mind shifts back to the girl. “She was pretty, wasn’t she?” I ask.
Dakota gives me one of those smiles she has when she is about to get me in trouble. “Yeah, she sure is,” she smirks and laughs.
“Perry,” I turn as I hear my name called by one of my teammates. “Hey, man, what’s up?”
Hamilton is a good guy from what I know. He also makes me nervous sometimes. Of all the guys on the team, I think he is the one that has figured out that I’m different, that I’m hiding something.
I would probably be worried if he wasn’t a shit pitcher and one of the strongest hitters on the team. He’s no threat to me and I’m no threat to him, so I don’t so much mind that he is so perceptive.
“Hey, Hamilton,” I answer back a bit stilted.
“Hey, Dakota,” Hamilton says, as he turns his attention to my cousin.
I watch as his face takes on a look I know too well. It’s the way I look at steak and how Cameron looks at Kay. He looks like he is ready to devour Dakota right here on the spot.
“Hi Hamilton,” Dakota purrs back, as she blushes to her roots. Aw hell, I know Cameron wouldn’t like this one bit.
I step in front of Dakota, blocking Hamilton’s view. I cross my arms across my chest, making sure that Hamilton can see all my muscles flex. Yup, I have his attention now.
“Would you like to stop eye fucking my cousin?” I say it just as I’ve heard Cameron say a million times to a million different guys.
Dakota gasps behind me and I turn to look over my shoulder and give her a wink. I’m quite proud of myself right now. I know this is what Cameron would’ve done, and I think I’m handling it quite well. Dakota’s blush deepens and she scowls at me, shaking her head, but I know she’s on the edge of laughter. I can see it in her eyes.
“Really, Caleb,” Dakota groans. “Leave that shit for your brother.”
“Cameron isn’t here,” I say innocently. Cameron and Dakota are always looking out for me. I can do the same. I got this.
“I’m not so sure about that,” Dakota murmurs to herself.
“Lighten up, Perry, Dakota is way out of my league,” Hamilton says, but winks at Dakota.
I just shake my head. Maybe I didn’t do as good a job as I thought. When Cameron does it, guys usually don’t look at Dakota while he’s around. I’ll have to work on that one.
“Whatever,” I shrug. “You wanted something?”
“Oh, yeah,” Hamilton chuckles. “Always direct, that’s why I like you, Perry. I wanted to remind you about the party next week and I will not let you beg off of this one. You owe me.”
I groan. I hate parties. They’re way too much work for me. I’m left exhausted from the effort after an hour or two. The music, the persistent girls, and it’s not the ideal situation for me to be in control.
Control is important to me. Having control allows me to hide. Parties aren’t on my list of things I enjoy, because they add too many factors I can’t control or handle.
However, Hamilton is right, I do owe him. He’s the closest thing I have to a friend, outside of Cameron, Thomas, and Dakota. He saved me a few more times than I would like to admit.
The team’s assistant coach hates Cameron and especially me for some reason. He is always giving us a hard time when the coach isn’t looking or when Coach Snider isn’t around.
One practice assistance coach, Robinson, purposely split me and Cameron up. Sending Cameron into the weight room, as a punishment for something bogus. Then he leaned into me like nobody’s business.
Riding my ass until I almost snapped. Hamilton stepped in, taking the attention off me,
just as I almost exploded. Since I hit puberty, I tend to lash out violently when I’m not comping. I have to say I’ve gotten a lot better the last few years. Thanks to Cameron and Dakota.
Hamilton has become a friend without me realizing it. I guess I owe him this party, despite as much as I don’t want to go. I’ll just have to make an appearance and then I’ll get out of there as fast as I can.
“Yeah, sure I’ll be there,” I reply.
“Great! What do you think about this calendar assignment being forced on the team?” Hamilton asks.
“Not sure how I feel about it,” I answer honestly.
I haven’t had time to process the information. I was running late for class because Coach wanted to talk to me about some charity calendar, every team member is required to do. He wanted to offer me options.
I appreciate Coach looking out for me, but I know the team would want to know why this is mandatory for everyone except me. I know I will probably regret it later. However, I more than plan to do my part like the rest of the guys.
“I was just heading over to the art building to see which of the photo geeks, I can get to take some shots for me. I think they’re getting some type of incentive for helping out or something,” Hamilton shrugs. “You want to head over with me? The sooner we get it over with, the better.”
I look over at Dakota and she gives me a small smile and nod. I take a second to run the look through my mental Rolodex. I nod as it registers that she is encouraging me to do this.
This is what I want, to be treated like I’m normal. To have friends and not feel like a freak or like I’m out of place. I take a deep breath and nod my head at Hamilton.
A part of me is screaming for me to run and hide. Talking to Dakota or Hamilton is one thing, but talking to strangers from the photography class, is another. Not that Coach didn’t warn me that I would have to, I just didn’t think I would have to do so, so soon. I had figured I could let Cameron or Dakota handle it for me.
Coach had suggested I team up with my brother for my calendar shoot, but I want to do my own. I can’t always count on Cameron for everything. So, I’m going to do this on my own.
Well, as on my own as I’ve ever done anything, I think to myself, as Dakota falls in step with me and Hamilton. We set off for the art building and I try my best not to meltdown. You can do this Caleb; you can be normal.
chapter three
I want You
Nicole
“Hey, there, roomy,” Taylor calls after me, as I once again stand in the middle of campus, frowning at my traitor map.
“Hey,” I sigh in frustration, not meant for Taylor.
“Give me that,” she laughs, taking my map and crumpling it. “This damn thing is backwards. I swear they printed it as a cruel joke for freshmen. Where’re you headed?”
“The art center, I have a photography class,” I say, as Taylor wraps her arm around mine.
“Well, you’re in luck because that’s exactly where I’m going,” Taylor beams at me, then reaches in her bag to pull out her camera.
I groan, then curse under my breath. I’ve forgotten my camera with all of my rushing this morning. I’m not starting off too great here.
“What’s wrong,” Taylor asks, as she picks up on my frustration.
“I forgot my camera in the room,” I huff.
“Don’t worry about it. There’s this big contest, charity thing that all of the photographers and the baseball team are being paired up for,” Taylor chirps, with a dreamy look in her eyes.
I look at her and wrinkle my nose. “What?”
“They’re going to pose for us in all their glory and we get to capture their Godliness. The calendar that brings in the most for the charity wins and the photographer gets a trip to Paris. I think the jocks get something out of it too.”
“Seriously, that sounds amazing,” I say excitedly. I wasn’t expecting something like this.
“Yes, getting to drool over all those abs is right where I want to be. Eye candy and a trip to Paris, what more can a girl ask for?” Taylor giggles. I think I can learn to like her. “I think it’s mandatory for the team, but it’s optional for our group. But like, who wouldn’t want to do this?”
Me, I think to myself. I wouldn’t mind winning the trip. However, as the assignment starts to sink in, I don’t think I want to spend time shooting pictures of some jock.
It’s just not my thing. I like landscapes. Not that I don’t shoot people. I did my brother’s engagement photos and pictures of my new niece and nephew, the cutest twins ever.
That’s the thing though, I only shoot friends and family. Unfortunately, being as shy as I am, doesn’t help with directing people into position for the perfect shot. No matter if I get to hide behind the camera. I’d much rather shoot a bunch of kittens, than do a shoot with people.
Although, I keep this opinion to myself. Turns out, I was walking away from the art building after all. It was right behind me. I shake my head, agreeing that that map is a joke, some kind of prank on poor unsuspecting students.
I’m surprised at how happy I am to have Taylor in my photography class. We’d talked briefly last night. I know the funny redhead, with freckles sprinkled across her light brown face, is an art major. If I’m honest with myself, I found something refreshing about Taylor.
She’s a petite girl like me, but where I’m full and curvy, she’s lithe with a shapely figure. I love her long red locks with her swiping bangs. They make her, with her bright brown eyes, look like a model. Instead of the one behind the camera lens.
I noticed more than once that her brown eyes have sparkled with mischief, since the first time we met. Taylor is the type that can talk you into a happy mood with just her smile alone. Her happiness is infectious.
Once in class, we take our seats at a table toward the back of the room. Taylor takes two packets from the center of the table and slides one in front of me. I look at the school logo printed at the top and smile.
Dad had made it clear that I could go wherever I wanted. As long as it made me happy. I decided on moving to the Midwest. Texas couldn’t be further from Atlanta for me. My eyes move to the title on the packet, Give Back. I tuck my hair behind my ear and opened to the next page.
I have to admit that I’m becoming more interested. Mom is big on giving back, and I’ve done a lot of charity work. As I read through the packet, it’s clear that this is being done for a good purpose.
Each photographer and athlete will work together to come up with a calendar for one of the charities of their choice, from the list provided. All proceeds will go toward that charity. In addition, some big corporation is donating a trip. The photographer, that brings in the most money for their charity receive a trip to Paris for two.
It’s a pretty cool idea. I’m still not sure I’m willing to do it, until my eyes landed on a charity that is near my heart. I sucked in a large gulp of air, as my mind starts to wonder. I’m a million miles away when a squeal breaks through my reverie.
“Oh, my God, this can’t be real,” squeals the cute, pixie looking girl that just sat down next to Taylor.
She’s pretty with her pointed nose and full cheeks. I would normally wrinkle my nose at someone with blue hair, but this girl makes her blonde pixie cut work with its blue tips. Her tanned skin sets the blonde and the blue off.
“I just saw Caleb and Hamilton and some of the other team members heading this way. So, I know it has to be real.”
Taylor throws her head back and laughs. “You’re worse than me,” Taylor giggles. “Joelle, this is my new roommate, Nicole. Nicole this is Joelle, the only other cool person in the arts program.”
Joelle pouts, “That’s not true. My brother isn’t so bad.”
Taylor rolls her eyes. “Okay, okay, Jonah isn’t so bad,” Taylor relents with a smile. “Jonah is Joelle’s twin. He’s like a literary genius and his painting are awesome too.”
“Nice to meet you,” I say, with a small smile at Joelle. She b
eams back at me, as she gives me a curious once over.
“You’re gorgeous,” Joelle claps her hands together. I frown and blush at the same time. “No, really, You’re,” she gasps and grabs Taylor’s hand. “I think I found my subject.”
Taylor looks over at me and gives me an apologetic smile. “Jo has this idea in her head. She just hasn’t found the right model, as of yet. Well, until now. Sounds like you just became her victim.”
“Oh, no, I don’t think that would be a good idea,” I say quickly.
“Oh, come on. Your eyes, they look like you’re hiding a million secrets or something. Jonah is going to freak when he sees you. I know he’s going to want to paint you,” Joelle gushes.
“That’s so not going to happen,” I snort.
“Oh, come on,” Joelle pouts prettily, causing me to genuinely laugh, as I shake my head at her.
“What the heck, I knew everyone was going to go nuts about this assignment, but there’s a line of jocks outside the class,” says the newcomer to our table.
“I stand corrected, once again. Nicole, this is Maribel, now you have officially met everyone you need to know,” Taylor introduces the beautiful girl, that’s now looking at me with a friendly smile on her face.
All of these girls are pretty in their own way, but seem so down to earth. Maribel towers over all of us. She has to be five nine, at least. Her chocolate brown eyes are friendly and light up her pretty brown face.
I love the confidence I feel coming off of her. I wish I felt as comfortable in my own skin, not that I don’t think I’m pretty. It’s never been a lack of confidence because of my looks that keeps me shy.
I’ve just never been one to need attention centered on me. I’d much rather hug the wall and observe. I’m a great observer, or so I’ve been told.
“Nice to meet you,” I say to Maribel.
“I would say nice to meet you, too, but I want to go to Paris and you’re now one more camera in my way,” Maribel says with a smile to take the bite out of her words.
“Oh, you don’t have to worry about me. I’m not sure I’ll even participate,” I shrug.