Libra - Mr. Romantic

by Tiana Laveen

  “You wanna go swimmin’?” she said with a smile as she lay there on her side, naked and beautiful, hair all over the place.

  “Yeah…” He chuckled. “I wanna go swimmin’. Let’s go.” Twenty minutes later, they were showered, dressed, and in the pool, splashing about. She bobbed around with a pair of his shorts on, one side pulled taut and secured with a ponytail scrunchie. It was a funny thing to see, but somehow, lovely, too. He swam in one direction, and she in the other, and it didn’t take long for them to get to splashing and horsing around.

  “Stop it, Lang!”

  She giggled as he let her have it. It was so quiet in there… just the two of them in the wee hours of the morning. He dipped low in the water, burst forward, and pushed his hair back with a swoop of his hand. He was barely above water when she started to splash and give him what for. Against the current, he gave chase, the water slowing him down, but he tried nevertheless. He followed the laughing woman, her nipples beneath the tank top hard and dark like silky chocolates he could almost taste. Long, black strands of hair swayed and flipped about in all directions as she ran away, her arms flailing and a childlike giddiness in her voice…

  He wondered, when was the last time she’d laughed like this?

  When was the last time she got the chance to relax, and be a kid again?

  Yasmine had so much responsibility. She was old for her age, mature beyond her years. Perhaps that was why she’d fallen for an older man, had his child when she was still practically a child herself, but tried to do the right thing and get married, give that boy a family…

  He wasn’t certain, but he knew one thing for sure. She deserved to have fun, to spread her wings, to live some of the years she’d lost due to becoming a mother and a wife so soon.

  “You ain’t never asked me for nothin’,” he blurted.

  “Well, no.” She shrugged. “But you’ve given so much.”

  “What I’ve given you was what you gave to me… so I ain’t lose nothing. They call that an even exchange. That’s fair. That’s love.” He felt choked up all of a sudden, struggling. He lowered his head for a spell then looked back into her eyes. “It’s nice, you know, to, uh, find somebody that don’t want nothin’ from me but my company. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t think everyone who asks me for somethin’ is usin’ me, but it would be nice to get a call sometimes just to see how I’m doin’ from some of them same folks.”

  He averted his gaze again, wondering where all of this shit inside him, which was pouring out like venom, came from. “To be called just to say hello, instead of ‘Can I get…’, ‘Can I borrow…’, ‘Can you take so and so here…’ would be a surprise. It shouldn’t be… that ain’t right. I been a bank, a therapist, a taxi cab driver, a damn doctor, a tutor, a referee, a preacher, a babysitter, a police officer, an engineer, a gardener, a butler, a daddy to kids where I ain’t even kiss they mama, let alone date ’er. I been a lot of shit to a lot of people, but what have people been to me?” He pointed to his chest. “Besides my mama and dad, there was always strings attached… got me over here feelin’ like a fuckin’ puppet.”

  He sniffed… hating this feeling, wherever it came from. Seemingly reading his mind, she smiled at him.

  “You’ve come to an understanding about yourself. You need somebody to talk to, Lang. I need somebody to talk to, too. Not at work, not to a child, not to a parent or sister or brother… somebody else, somebody that makes our heart go boom, boom, boom…” He loved how she smiled at him right at that moment.

  “Yeah, I ’spose you’re right.” He drew near, but she playfully smiled and ran off again, splashing and frolicking about. She knew it was almost over; she moved like she was afraid to go back home, afraid of what that meant. He could almost smell the concern on her, the worries, the troubles… He imagined the inside of Yasmine’s brain looked like a big gold and black clock, rocking and gliding gears, churning car belts, a steampunk metal land of sorts, turned inside out, the innerworkings of a chronometer on the fritz.

  “You can be successful, silly, responsible and have fun at the same time.”

  “Huh?” She slowly turned in his direction, a look of confusion on her face.

  “I said, you can be successful, silly, responsible and have fun at the same time. This feelin’ you got right now, you can always have that. You ain’t gotta sacrifice what you deserve for what you need.” He figured she’d get defensive, get mad, but she didn’t. She just stood there in the water, looking beautiful… like a black ballerina made of ebony water, a dark tear that had fallen from the sun.

  “When I’m with you, I feel lost, Lang.” He drew closer to her until he was standing right in front of her in the three feet deep water. He wrapped his arms around her waist and massaged her back, bunching the material of her thin white tank top. “I feel like tha whole world is strange and soft, fuzzy and green. It’s young ’nd wet behind the ears… It’s a strange feelin’…” she said softly. “So odd, really… how can you know where you are and still be lost?” She smiled sadly.

  “You ain’t lost. You’re movin’ forward, progressing. Now that you’re outta the past, done left that all behind, you’re on higher ground. The fuzzy and green stuff, the softness around you is your new world. Naw, baby, you ain’t lost.” He shook his head and clasped her face in the palms of his hands. “You’re where you’re ’sposed to be, a new lot in life.” Pressing his lips against hers, he closed his eyes, but didn’t dare let her go. “That’s why things so strange to you, ’cause you’ve moved on… wit’ me.”

  She blinked away tears as she smiled, threw her arms around him, and squeezed. His heart flooded for her, beat a million times in one second. He was drowning in that water, drowning in lust and love… he was drunk off her and no AA meeting was going to cure it.

  “We got two feet, and two eyes, and two ears, baby, so we not ’sposed to stay stuck. Two of us now… you and me together. You’re my baby and don’t you forget it.”

  “I won’t.” She gave him a sweet kiss on the cheek as they held each other close.

  “When you feel lost, lean on me and I’ll help guide the way. When I can’t see no way out, you’ll do the same thing for me and be my eyes. We both got strengths and weaknesses… we can help each other out. We’re friends and lovers, you can’t get no better than that. I ain’t askin’ you, I’m tellin’ you that it’s me and you now, you hear me? You belong to me now, and I’m all yours—signed, sealed and delivered like a UPS package.”

  She laughed, but he was serious. Her smile softened then disappeared as they stared into each other’s eyes.

  “I’m for real… this ain’t a joke, Yaz. We were brought to one another like presents. Something God awful happened to get us to this moment in time, but nevertheless, it gave us a close bond that can’t no-damn-body break. It made me grow up, think about myself less, and think about someone I was attracted to, in a way that ain’t have nothin’ to do with physical intimacy. I cared about you somethin’ awful before I ever made love to you. That’s a first for me. I can’t be the old me no more; it ain’t servin’ me well. You came into my life and everything changed. We gotta keep on movin’ and not lookin’ back. Keep splashin’ that water, laughin’ and takin’ chances.”

  “I took a chance on you and I don’t regret it. These last few weeks with you have been amazing, and if it was to all end tonight, Lang, I’d still be happy ’cause you reminded me who I am… I lost myself, too. I was afraid. It’s a shame I didn’t realize that until right now.”

  “You ain’t got to be scared. You got me now… I’ll protect you.” He kissed her and squeezed her tight. “I know you probably feel like you don’t need no safeguarding, but I’m a man, so I’m gonna do it anyway. Just how God intended…”

  CHAPTER ELEVEN

  Triple Threat

  …Three weeks later

  YASMINE WRAPPED HER arms around Noah as he clung to his small plastic bag filled with some of his favorite snacks. When she let go, he read
justed the black backpack on his shoulders. Behind them, cars were honking, driving past, or heading toward the airport parking area.

  “Now you sure you have everything?”

  “Yes, Mama!” he said with aggravation in his tone. “You’ve asked me that a million times,” he signed.

  She smiled at him and hugged him once again, this time squeezing a bit harder. He was going for an extended weekend to visit his father, and she’d miss him so much. At the last minute, Sebastian had purchased the boy a plane ticket instead of driving to a halfway point as they’d previously agreed. A car ride would’ve been sufficient, but her ex-husband insisted it would be inconvenient due to him having an early morning meeting at work that he couldn’t get out of. He was a Strategy Manager for Tenet Healthcare and often busy with work.

  “Okay, be good, you hear? Don’t do nothin’ you shouldn’t do. Visit your friends but spend time with your father. Also, be nice to your father’s girlfriend, too, all right? You’ll probably meet her this time around,” she signed.

  “I will, Mama.” Noah kissed her cheek, signed ‘I love you’, then disappeared through the glass double doors. He bypassed the bag check and then was out of sight, on his way to the security check point. She returned to her car, feeling pretty strange without Noah already. The reality of the situation sank in—he was gone.

  She felt rather ashamed as she sat in her car, working through her thoughts, asking herself why her heart hurt so badly.

  Oh God… is that what I’ve been doing? He ain’t my friend—that’s my son. I’m supposed to be his mama first and foremost…

  It became painfully clear how much she depended on her son for companionship. It had been just the two of them for so long, she’d gotten used to it, expected it, needed it. After the move, she relied on him even more. She’d become a bit of a recluse, working hard to get the grocery store in order, keeping to herself. She didn’t want nobody and didn’t know damn near anybody else, either. Noah was her comfortable blanket during the wicked, cold storms in life. But he had a life, too, and he deserved to live it.

  I don’t think he’s ever been this far away from me before…

  She knew the time would come when his father would insist he stay for a while, more than just one night, and though they were in the same state, Dallas now felt so far away. Noah was the only child to the both of them, and dare she admit it, they were rather selfish when it came to him. Sometimes, having a child with challenges could cause problems in a marriage, particularly the stress of it all. That wasn’t her and Sebastian’s issue, however. In fact, this was one of the few situations where she’d seen compassion from the man. He’d learned sign language as soon as it was confirmed that their son had ninety percent hearing loss in both ears.

  It was a strange thing; no one knew the how or why regarding Noah’s condition. In fact, right after birth he’d appeared just fine but when he’d turned four months, she realized something wasn’t right. The baby wasn’t responding to the sound of her voice. He seemed confused. When she was finally told the problem, her heart hurt, but she and her ex-husband approached it head on and got their baby the help he needed. Now look at the mess of their lives… She’d been deaf to the truth of her marriage and Sebastian was deaf to the emotional needs of others.

  Noah has the best hearin’ out of all of us…

  Sebastian had reluctantly agreed to allow her full custody, but Noah had had the final word and let the judge know in their divorce proceedings, which at times had turned nasty, that he wanted to live with his mother and not him. That had to sting for Sebastian, especially since, right before the split, the two had been very close.

  As she drove along, she thought about things she’d tucked away, things she’d told herself she was over with and healed from. Sometimes she played her past back in her head—checks and balances, wishing desperately to never repeat the same mistakes ever again. They were costly, and she couldn’t afford that price anymore. Time wasted is something one could never get back.

  My ex-husband didn’t fool around on me. He didn’t cheat. Even though he got a lot of attention, I don’t believe he ever was unfaithful to me. That wasn’t the problem. Everybody seemed to assume he was out there sleepin’ around when they found out I’d left. It was other stuff, maybe even thangs that some would think was worse than steppin’ out on the marriage and findin’ comfort with another woman. Sebastian could be cruel…

  He would talk down to me… He could be verbally and emotionally abusive, turn on you on a dime. He never hit me though, never raised his hand. He was older than me, more experienced. I fell in love… I was just a kid. Here was this older guy, good lookin’ and established… He had a fancy car, no kids, real nice house, and had been a Marine. He’d been married before he’d met me, but that had only lasted six months. He’d been only 19 when that happened, so I ain’t hold it against him. His family had money and thought that meant they was better than somebody… ’specially a Black woman like me. His parents ain’t like him datin’ Black women. They wanted him with White people, thought it would make the family look better. Just crazy. Besides, I wasn’t nothin’ to snub a nose at.

  My parents had good jobs and worked for a livin’. They are Christians and wonderful people! I couldn’t ask for better parents. We weren’t poor growin’ up, either. Naw, me and my sisters didn’t get everything we wanted all the time but we ain’t miss no meals, had nice clothes, things like that. And that’s exactly how I met him, out with my sisters at Arthur’s Prime Steaks and Seafood. We’d saved up to finally go. It was expensive, but we did it anyway and even bought pretty dresses for our evening out.

  She smiled as the memory flooded back to her…

  What a nice evening we had.

  He was sitting at another table with a bunch of his friends from work. He came over, introduced himself, and asked for my number. I was flattered… I got hit on all the time, but this was different. This man was just that… a man… not one of my peers. He was young and dashing, but had wisdom in his eyes. He wore a suit. When we got to talkin’, he said he was celebrating his friend’s promotion.

  He called me the next day and the rest was history. He took a liking to me… Before I knew it, he was taking me to fancy places I’d never been before, paying for presents, expensive things, making me feel like I was the only thing that mattered. He got in good with my family. They loved him, but my father had concerns about the age difference and felt like we were moving too fast. Sebastian didn’t care that his family didn’t like me due to them being racist. He was going to be with me anyway. And then… I got pregnant.

  I was shocked. I don’t know why I was shocked. I knew about things like that. We’d been careful, most times. But we were in love, and I thought that was all we needed to survive and get by. He was my first; he owned my heart. I had never slept with a man before him. Kissed, messed around, even had silly ass Elroy go down on me…

  She chuckled at that memory.

  But that was it… When my period ain’t come, I about died. I got me a pregnancy test and it came out positive. I remember like it was yesterday… I called Sebastian, told him I was pregnant with Noah. I thought he was going to lose his mind. Instead, he was excited! And when he found out it was a boy he about shot through the roof. And then the veil came off…

  He began to get controlling and jealous. He wanted to get married before Noah was born, telling me it was the right thing to do, and I agreed after I found out I was pregnant. He claimed he wanted to marry me anyway, even before he knew I was carrying his child. At the time, I believed him. In fact, he had asked me to marry him before the pregnancy but I figured we should wait—I wanted to go to college first. Now, I am not so sure what Sebastian really thought or wanted but it don’t even matter much at this point. I was young in the head, thinkin’ marriage would fix him, make him trust me more, too. He didn’t.

  It just got worse. I was a whore if I got home late from runnin’ errands or work, and he criticized everythin
g I did. I know Sebastian loved me at first, but I still don’t know what happened to him… it’s like he lost his mind.

  Naw… he’d always been that way. I just saw what I wanted to see. That made things all the worse when I had to leave him for the final time and file for divorce. It killed me inside. I still loved him when I got me an attorney. I cried all the way to that woman’s office. It was like my entire world was fallin’ apart. But I couldn’t let myself be disrespected like that anymore. Counselling didn’t help; his family was chompin’ at the bit for him to divorce me, sayin’ I was a bad mother and wife, all this bullshit to break us up. All we did was argue.

  I didn’t want that for our son… I wanted Noah to have the same childhood I did growin’ up. Two parents, teachin’ him the ways of the world, and showin’ our love for one another, how a husband and wife is ’spose to be. He was raised with a mother that was quiet and didn’t stick up for herself. His mother was mean and miserable. I refused to be that way. I didn’t understand it… I was a good woman, a good wife. I went on and graduated from college, all the while takin’ care of a baby and a husband. I got me a good job and worked my way up the ranks at the bank. I made sure I always tried to look nice for my man. I went to church, learned to cook better, even some of his Cuban dishes… but nothin’ helped. We was just never meant to last… We was supposed to be together for one reason and one reason only, to create that precious boy… our son Noah, who’s now growin’ into a man. It’s all right though… I’m okay, and I’mma always be okay… as long as my baby is fine. As long as I’ve got God, Jesus ’nd the Holy Ghost, I’mma make it… no matter what the world throws my way. That’s a triple threat, the only weapon I need… and now I’ve found love, too.