I don’t know what you mean.
She pauses. I thought it was the same for you as for me. What happened after you died?
I died. He laughs. Then I stopped being dead and was trapped in a human body. The first time James forced me to shift, it hurt, until I remembered that I’d been a bear before. Then it felt good. I wanted to be a bear all the time, but he only allowed me to after I did things for him. I didn’t like it at first, but eventually I understood that it was all necessary.
Oh Arcas, Alis sniffs. I’m worried that her son will see her emotion as weakness. He seems that kind of type.
Why are you sad, mother? He seems genuinely confused.
I thought you had found peace in death. Now it turns out you were the prisoner of a twisted man.
He wasn’t twisted, Arcas protests. I see that now. He helped me see things… like I see now that your host would be ideal for me.
Isla is mine, Alis hisses. Don’t touch her.
Too late, Arcas chuckles.
Something slams into my body, knocking the wind out of me.
“Alis!” I shout, but something hits me again, and again, until there’s too much pain to feel.
I’m almost grateful when I black out.
Fifteen
There’s nothing but pain and darkness. Even thinking hurts.
I stretch out my hands, but nothing happens. I move… no, I don’t. I can’t move. Are my eyes closed or is it dark? I can’t touch my eyelids to find out. I can’t blink. I can’t do anything.
I want to scream but no sound comes out.
Trapped.
Fear grips me tightly, squeezing my chest, adding to the pain already coursing through my body.
What’s happening?
Trapped.
Help! I shout in my mind.
Silence.
My panic increases. I can’t move, I can’t see, I can’t speak. I’m alone.
HELP! I shout inside my head again, hoping that someone will hear. Where is Alis?
Shut up, a deep voice suddenly says. It sounds familiar, but with all the pain clouding my thoughts, it takes me a moment to remember.
Arcas.
Alis’s son who turned out to be very different from what we expected.
What’s going on? I shout because somehow it feels like I’m far away from him. Not like when I talk to Alis in my head. With her it’s as if we’re sitting side by side.
Shut up and know your place.
What place?
You’re my host, nothing more. A means to an end. Now be quiet and don’t disturb me.
I am furious. I am not your host! Get out of my body!
He laughs. No, I quite like it here. I’ll need to get used to all the female parts, but it’s good to be back in a young body. Van Deen was getting too weak.
You’re crazy! My guys are never going to let you get away with this!
Oh, they will. I’m about to kill them.
Dread fills me and I struggle against my bonds. Except that there are none. There is nothing to struggle against. There’s nothing but darkness. I’ve never felt so helpless.
Could he kill them? I wish I knew. I don’t know how strong he is… And where is Alis? Was she pushed into Van Deen’s lifeless body when Arcas took over mine? Is she alright?
So many questions, so much pain. I just want someone to come and save me… but then I remember that I’ve survived for so long by helping myself. There needs to be something I can do. Something. Anything.
I stop struggling to think. The pain in my head ebbs away a little, but not enough to concentrate.
Need to stop Arcas. Need to stop Arcas.
I take that thought and focus on it with all my might. But how do you stop someone without being able to do anything?
I could try and talk to him, but he’s too crazy to listen. He said he would kill my men… could I at least distract him, if he’s fighting them?
With Alis, I was always able to see what she was doing when we’d shifted. But now, I have no idea what’s going on. I’m locked into my own body.
Arcas? I shout. Let’s distract him as much as I can and hope that if he’s fighting the guys, this will give them a chance.
All I need to do is avoid thinking of what might happen if they kill him. Because I’m not sure if I’d survive that.
Torben
Everything happens so quickly that there’s no time to intervene. The lifeless body of Van Deen suddenly lurches up and grabs Isla by the shoulders. As soon as he touches her, she goes limp, her head flopping on her chest. Then she begins to convulse, writhing on the floor.
I run to her side, holding her while she shakes. She does little whimpering sounds that are unbearable to hear. Húnn and Ràn drag away the man to the other side of the room, but he’s no longer moving. He’s already done his deed. Whatever that was.
I press Isla to my chest, watching as her arms and legs tremble uncontrollably. Without a doubt this is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.
“Isla, it’s going to be alright,” I whisper and feel fucking stupid as soon as I say it. I don’t believe in empty promises and this one is as empty as they come. I have no clue what’s going on.
Finn is standing behind me, his legs almost touching my back. He doesn’t know what to do. Neither do I.
It takes forever until the convulsions stop. Isla stops moving and lies in my arms, limp and unconscious. I shake her gently.
“Isla? Wake up, sweetie!”
She doesn’t respond at all. She just lies there, as if she’s sleeping, but I know she’s not.
This is bad.
Finn
I wish it was me holding her. Torben was by her side first, and while I know he’s taking good care of her, I can’t ignore the flicker of jealousy in my heart. He’s bonded to her, so is Ràn, and it’s only a matter of time until Húnn is, too. She’s not approached me yet, and while I’m trying to tell myself that there’s just not been the right moment for it, it hurts.
She looks as if she’s sleeping, except that her cheeks are pale and almost grey. Not the usual pink glow they always have. She’s so full of life usually, bursting with energy and smiles. This isn’t Isla. It reminds me of when we first found her, half frozen on the beach. Back then I doubted she would survive. But she did and she wriggled her way into our hearts. Now I can’t imagine a life without her.
Suddenly, she moves, no, she shifts!
Torben is pushed to the ground as a large polar bear stands where Isla was lying seconds ago. It’s not Alis though. Alis’s eyes were stern but friendly. And she didn’t have a black patch on her chest either. This bear is staring at us with crazed hate, his black eyes filled with fury.
A feeling of dread is bubbling up in my stomach. If it’s not Alis, this has to be Arcas. We didn’t hear what they talked about when Isla touched the old man, but it can’t have been good.
The bear – Arcas – growls and open his jaws wide. He’s got his front paws on Torben’s chest, who’s trying to get away. He won’t be able to shift with that weight on him.
Arcas lowers his head, ready to rip out Torben’s throat.
Húnn/Pelja
I shift faster than I ever have before and throw myself at Arcas. He’s big, bigger than I am, but there’s four of us. The Fates are standing in the background. Useless. It’s up to us now.
My claws sink into his back and he whirls around, letting go of Torben. Good.
He swipes at me and pain slashes over my chest. His claws are sharper than they should be and leave deep wounds. I can feel my fur growing wet with blood. Not so good.
My brother comes at him from the side, biting into Arcas’s flank. Torben has shifted and stands on his hind legs, ready to engage Arcas from behind. Finn is next to him, trying to injure the bear’s legs.
There’s four of us and only one of him. Yes, he’s bigger but surely we can win?
That’s when he does something unexpected. He dominates us.
A sticky, slimy po
wer takes hold of my mind and tells me to stop moving. I fight it, I try and get rid of it, but it’s too strong. I feel my body come to a halt without me giving it the command to.
It’s the same thing Torben can do as the leader of our sleuth, but he’s only ever used it in jest or for minor disagreements, to establish his dominance. This is different. The whole feel of it is wrong. Evil.
It’s a violation of my free will and I’m struggling against it. Can he really hold all four of us in place? Then I think back to the Canadian compound and am sure that he can. There were at least a hundred shifters there and he had them all under control.
With a smirk, Arcas looks at us. He must be pleased with himself.
Out of the corner of my eye, I can see Atropos kneeling by the old man’s side. What is she doing? Why aren’t the Fates helping us?
Alis
I’ve never felt this ill. Not that I’ve been ill since I died, but I remember the feeling.
I know what happened. Arcas surprised me and took Isla for himself. I didn’t even know that was possible, but the very fact that I’m now trapped inside this shell of a man is proof that it is.
I’m worried for Isla. He’s not going to treat her well. I need to help her, fast.
Oh my Arcas. He’s changed. He’s become twisted and nothing like the boy he once was. Even as King he was never this hungry for power. He always treated his subjects well – he’d never have done what he just did to men and Isla. I know that I will need some time to grieve, but it’s not now.
“Alis, you need to make a decision,” a female voice whispers from far away. I can’t use the old man to answer, but at least I can hear her. I think it’s one of the Fates.
“You will be able to save only one. Who is it going to be? Arcas or Isla?”
What a bitch. She’s asking me to decide between my son and my… friend? No, Isla is more than a friend. She’s almost like a daughter to me. A sister. In this very moment, I know her better than my son. In my memories, he’s so different from the man I just met. I almost wish I hadn’t seen him at all. That we hadn’t travelled through the Portals. Then I could have kept that image of him in my mind and not have to have it conflict with the actual person.
How could I not have expected him to be so changed? He was a prisoner of that human for too long. It’s twisted him, turned him into something new. But is it too late for him? Can he still be saved? If I choose him, will he be able to become my Arcas, the son I remember, again? Or would I waste Isla’s life and be stuck with a son who wants to rule over humanity?
“Isla or Arcas?” she repeats.
Isla has so much potential. And she has a family. Her four men. Two friends on the island who are almost like uncles to her. Not like the uncle she grew up with, who abused her. No, like friendly relatives who look out for you and help wherever they can.
“Arcas or Isla?”
He’s my son. I bore him, I birthed him, I watched him grow up. But then he died. Is it time for him to stay dead?
“Isla or Arcas?”
Isla doesn’t deserve to die. Her life has only just begun.
I make my choice. If I could, I’d cry.
Ràn/Orson
All four of us are on the ground with various wounds. My brother is moaning softly; he must be injured badly. We couldn’t even defend ourselves, Arcas had us frozen in place. Not even Torben managed to escape the bear’s control.
This is the end. I don’t know why we’re even still alive. It’s as if he wants us to be at his feet, helpless, dying.
The pain is so much that I can almost begin to get used to it. It’s one big blanket surrounding me, making it harder to breathe.
Arcas growls and stalks towards Torben. He’s our leader; he’ll want to finish him off first. Saliva is dripping from the bear’s fangs and his eyes are glowing with victory.
I close my eyes, not wanting to see what comes next. Dying with dignity doesn’t exist. Neither does a brave death. I just want to get it over with. That’s not brave. That’s being impatient and in a lot of pain.
Isla may be dead already. Who knows what happened when Arcas took over. She wouldn’t have let him control her without a fight. Maybe I’ll see her again in the afterlife?
A loud growl fills the room, but it’s not Arcas. I open my eyes just in time to see Alis charging her son. Where did she come from? How does she have a body? I turn my head to look at where the old man was sitting. He’s no longer there. Something must have happened for Alis to be able to take his body and then shift. The Fates, maybe? One of them is standing where Van Deen was sitting moments ago, smiling softly.
Alis roars and growls at Arcas. She’s not affected by his hold on us. On the contrary, his movements are suddenly slower, more sluggish, until he stops moving and just stands there, in the middle of the room, blood painting the white fur around his mouth. Our blood.
Alis stares at her son and it seems as if they’re having a mental conversation, but maybe she’s just looking at him for one last time. Then she rips out his throat.
“Nooooo!” Torben shouts, and I realise what he has grasped already. Isla. Arcas took over her body. Now Alis killed him. Killed our Isla.
I moan, not able to produce a louder sound. I’m too weak to even cry.
Grief fills my heart and I will it to stop.
But wait. Deep down inside of me, I can still feel the bond with her. She can’t be dead if I can still feel her. Can she?
That’s when Alis collapses in a heap next to her son.
What the fuck is happening?
Isla
With a flash of light, I’m transported out of my dark prison and back into my body. I move my fingers and toes and smile at the familiar feeling. That’s me. My body. My usual self. No more being trapped.
Welcome back, a surprisingly gentle voice says inside my head.
Alis!
Little human, she chuckles, but there is a deep sadness filtering through our connection.
What happened?
Open your eyes.
I was so used to the darkness that I forgot I could see. I open my eyes and take in the carnage. My men are on the floor, all of them lying in pools of blood. But they’re alive. Torben and Húnn have shifted already and are naked but seemingly alright, while the brothers are still in their bear forms.
I run to them and stroke their fur, one hand on each of their backs, encouraging them to shift.
Waiting for them to respond to my touch, I look back, to the centre of the room. Van Deen lies there, his throat a bloody mess.
What happened? I ask again.
I killed my son, Alis says sadly. You’ll need to ask the Fates about the details, but they gave me the old man’s body so I could end Arcas’s life.
I’m searching for words but can’t find anything to say. She will need time, a lot of time. Her son is dead, again. She’s lost him twice, but I don’t think her grief will be any less painful this time. Especially because it was her who killed him.
Húnn shifts and Ràn follows suit a moment later. They sit up and despite their wounds, they seem like they’re going to be okay. Ràn holds out his arms and I hug him tight, clinging to him, enjoying his scent, and then Húnn’s when he joins us, and then that of the other two.
We sit there, hugging each other, knowing that nothing will ever be the same again. But at least we’re together.
Epilogue
By the way, you’re pregnant.
I stop in my tracks, unable to process what Alis just told me.
Shut up.
You’re pregnant. You’ll have cubs soon. Does that make me an auntie?
Cubs? Plural?
I only feel one heartbeat.
Wait, I’m pregnant?
I just told you. Twice. Three times, now.
But I’m twenty… I’m too young to have a child. And not in this world.
“What?” Húnn suddenly asks, ripping me out of my mental conversation with Alis.
Did I say t
hat aloud? Please tell me I didn’t.
We’re walking along a stream towards the old factory Bertie and Arnold are getting their batteries from. It’s a good excuse to spend some alone time with Húnn. I’ve been trying to do that more recently, giving each of them more attention. I don’t want any of them to feel jealous. They keep telling me that they’re fine with me having four mates, but I still want to make sure it’s an equal relationship for all of them.
Today, it’s Húnn’s turn. And he just heard me say that I’m pregnant.
Oh no.
I cringe. “Alis just told me I’m pregnant.”
He stares at me open-mouthed. “Are you sure?”
I nod, blushing. “She seems pretty convinced. She can hear a heartbeat.”
“Fuck.”
“Tell me about it.”
“You’re pregnant?”
I’m beginning to get worried. “Is that a problem?”
I know people used to have condoms in the old world, but of course those no longer exist. Some women on Salvation Island kept track of their cycles to avoid getting pregnant, but that didn’t always work. Others swore by the moon phases. But I never had anything to do with men… and never thought that I’d get pregnant.
And now I am.
To say it in Húnn’s words: fuck.
Suddenly I’m in Húnn’s arms and he swings me through the air.
“It’s not a problem, It’s amazing!”
He laughs and after a moment, I join him. Yes, maybe it is amazing. A little miracle. I’m not sure I really want to bring new life into this world, but if I do, then it’s with these four men.
Do you know who the father is? I ask Alis.
Does it matter?
No, it doesn’t. Of course not.
Húnn sets me back on the ground and I give him a big smile.
“We should bond.”
“Now?”
I point at a patch of spring grass to our left. Now that the snow has gone, spring has come in force and snowdrops are mixing with daffodils along the banks of the stream.
Polar Fates: A Reverse Harem Novel (The Drowning Book 2) Page 11