by Alexa Land
“Keep telling yourself that,” he said with a smirk.
“You’re nothing like the rest of your family either, so why assume I’m like mine?”
Connie narrowed his eyes at me. “You’re right. I’m not like the rest of my family. I’m much, much worse. The only one who even comes close is my father, but I’ve surpassed even him with the things I’ve done.”
“Just stop it, Constantino. Stop trying to drive me away! I know what you are, and it doesn’t matter to me!”
“It matters to me, though,” he said, more quietly. “No way am I bringing all the shit in my life down on you.”
“That’s another excuse! If you really wanted this, if you really wanted me, none of that would matter.”
He turned away from me wordlessly, and I just stood there for a long moment as self-doubt crept in. Maybe he didn’t want me after all. Maybe he never had. Maybe the night before had just been him feeling lonely and wanting a warm body beside him. Any warm body. And maybe all those sweet sentiments had just been bullshit, him telling me what he thought I wanted to hear. Maybe it was all bullshit, every word of it. Maybe Constantino Dombruso was a world-class manipulator, and maybe I’d bought right into it.
As soon as I stepped aside, he dashed out the door and I closed it behind him and leaned against it. And then I thought, or maybe he was just scared of letting anyone get close to him. Maybe every word had been true.
Either way, I couldn’t force him to be with me. If he was intent on running, there was really nothing I could do, no magic words that would make him feel I could be trusted. I sighed quietly and headed to the shower.
*****
On my last night in Belfast, three days after Constantino ran from me yet again, I got a call from my friend Kate while drinking myself into a nice stupor at a pub near the inn where I was staying. “So, Dreo,” she said, “you’ve never really admitted to me that you have feelings for Tino Dombruso, but if you do, I have some news that might concern you.”
“What kind of news?”
“I wasn’t the only person who found out Dombruso was in town. Apparently Keith Kirkpatrick landed at the airport about half an hour ago. My sources say he’s on his way to off Dombruso in order to settle an old score.”
I took off like a shot, almost knocking people over in my haste to get out of the crowded pub as I asked her, “Where’s he headed?”
“Dombruso’s hotel. I did some digging and found out he’s staying at the Clearwater, room five-eleven. If you want to do something about this, you’d better hurry. Kirkpatrick’s going to get there any minute.”
“Thank you so fucking much, Kate.” I disconnected the call as I reached the street and looked around frantically for a cab. When I didn’t see one, I took off at a sprint. The Clearwater Hotel was maybe a fifteen-minute walk. I ran there in under five minutes. As I ran, I called the hotel and asked for Connie’s room, but there was no answer. I hoped to God that meant he was out and not just ignoring the phone.
Even though I could barely breathe and my heart felt like it was going to explode, I took the stairs to the fifth floor two at a time when I reached the hotel, since it seemed quicker than waiting for the elevator. I then pounded on the door to room five-eleven and shouted, “Connie, it’s Andreo. If you’re in there, open up. It’s an emergency.”
When he opened the door a minute later, it was clear I’d woken him. He was dressed in a white t-shirt and cotton pajama pants, his hair was rumpled, and he blinked at me in confusion. “What’s going on?” he said.
“Keith Kirkpatrick is on his way here. He’s coming to kill you. We need to go, now.”
Connie’s eyes went wide and he ducked back into the room. I followed him and said, “Forget whatever it is you’re trying to retrieve. We just need to go!”
He grabbed a few things despite my protests, and we ran out of the room, the door swinging shut behind us. We bypassed the elevators, and when we reached the stairwell and I started to descend, he said, “Not that way. They could be taking the stairs. We’re going up, they’ll never look for us on a higher floor.” We climbed two flights, and then he stopped on the landing and put down the bundle in his arms.
I sank onto one of the stairs and pulled off my suit jacket as I tried to catch my breath, then used my shirtsleeve to mop the sweat from my brow. Connie meanwhile strapped on his dual shoulder holster and checked his weapons, then pulled on an overcoat. As he slid his bare feet into a pair of shoes, he glanced at me and said, “Thanks for the warning.”
“You’re welcome.”
A moment later, we heard voices on the stairs somewhere below us. Connie drew his guns and handed one to me, then released the safety on the one he was holding. Sound carried in the stairwell, so we all but held our breath and listened.
A man with a deep baritone asked, “What’re we going to do if the little shite’s not there?”
I recognized Kirkpatrick’s voice as he replied, “We’ll break into his room, wait for him to come back and finish him when he opens the door. It’s gone past midnight, so if he’s not there he’s bound to be back soon.”
A door two flights below us opened and closed when they reached the fifth floor, and Connie exhaled slowly. “Close call,” he whispered.
We listened for a long minute, then headed down the stairs. My heart was racing, and not just from the physical exertion of running to the hotel. I was incredibly tense as we passed the door to the fifth floor, but Kirkpatrick and his flunky didn’t reappear.
When we reached the ground floor, Connie holstered his guns and buttoned his overcoat, then checked his pocket. He had his passport and wallet with him. I pushed open the door to the lobby, and he and I walked as casually as we could to the back of the building. There was no way of knowing if Kirkpatrick had a couple more men watching for Constantino in the lobby or out front.
We used a door marked ‘employees only’ and cut through a large, industrial kitchen. We got a few looks from the staff, but they seemed fairly uninterested in us. Finally, we stepped into an empty alleyway, and Connie turned to me. “Thanks again,” he said. “I owe you one.”
“Not a problem. You headed to the airport?”
“No, I’ll leave town some other way.” He hesitated for a moment and touched my cheek before he took a couple steps backward and said, “Take care of yourself, Andreo.”
“You do the same.”
He turned and jogged out of the alley. I watched him until he disappeared from sight, and stood there for a long time afterwards. I didn’t know what I was waiting for. He wasn’t coming back. He never did.
Chapter Six: All I Want for Christmas
Christmas Eve, Present Day
San Francisco
Luca had arrived at the party by the time I finally went back inside. I paused in the doorway and took a good look at him as he stood with his boyfriend Nico on the far side of the big kitchen. He was happier than I’d ever seen him, and so obviously in love. He and his boyfriend had their arms around each other, and kept stealing little glances and kisses in between talking to Nico’s relatives.
It was a weird twist of fate that my brother and Connie’s had ended up together. I wanted to believe the Dombrusos had accepted him into the fold, for Luca’s sake. I watched the way they interacted with him, and they did seem genuinely welcoming.
The one family member who had tried to keep the feud alive and who’d hired Connie to carry out a hit on Luca and me was notably absent from the party. His cousins had removed him from his position as the head of the family and were keeping him in line by holding on to his purse strings, which told me they were on Luca and Nico’s side. I couldn’t help but worry, though. That was just what I did.
I’d spent so much of my life watching out for my brother and trying to keep him safe. Even though the defenseless kid he’d once been was long gone, replaced with a capable, successful man, it was hard to let go of that. As I’d said, I’d always taken almost a parental role with Luca since our
father had never been up to the job, but he didn’t need that from me now. Maybe he never really had.
I pulled up a smile when Luca spotted me and waved. When I crossed the room to him, he grabbed me in a bear hug and said, “Merry Christmas, Dreo.”
“Merry Christmas, brother.” I shook hands with Nico and wished him a Merry Christmas as well.
“I’m glad you could make it.” Nico’s smile was bright and genuine. “Are you having a good time?”
I nodded. “Everyone’s been friendly, and your grandmother’s really something. It’s been an entertaining evening.”
We made small talk for a while, until Nana whisked the couple away to help her with something and I went to get a drink at the bar, which had been set up in the spacious living room. I kept scanning the crowd as I did that, and annoying myself in the process. I needed to stop obsessing. It just wasn’t helpful, and….
Oh God.
My breath caught when Constantino Dombruso stepped through the entryway to the living room, and my heart jumped like I’d taken a few hundred volts to the chest. I had to put my glass down quickly, because I was sure I’d drop it.
Connie didn’t notice me at first, so I took the opportunity to study him. As he wove his way through the crowd, I noticed the way his pale grey suit perfectly accentuated his long, lean body. The thought of what was under that suit made my libido click into high gear. He was painfully sexy.
Something in the way he carried himself was off, though. Normally he was almost catlike, slinky and graceful, but he was moving a bit stiffly. His expression was off, too. He was trying to look confident and aloof, same as always, but this time it seemed manufactured.
Suddenly it hit me: Connie was nervous. He didn’t really fit in with his family. He didn’t really fit in anywhere, but normally that didn’t seem to bother him.
Family members were coming up to him and asking questions. It was bound to be the usual fare, including the ever-present, “So, what are you doing these days?” I was sure he wouldn’t tell them the truth. I wondered how many of them knew what he did for a living, if any.
His family was supposedly reformed after a long history in organized crime. Even before that, I doubted they would have welcomed a contract killer into their fold. The Dombrusos thought of themselves as businessmen, not barbarians, more refined than your average thugs or petty criminals. Even in a family of gangsters, Connie still managed to be the black sheep.
I kept watching him as he dealt with relative after relative. I was careful to keep my own expression neutral. Sooner or later he’d spot me, and when he did I wanted to look indifferent.
Yeah, right. Indifferent. Good luck with that.
When Connie finally looked up and locked eyes with me, I stopped breathing. He tried so hard not to react, but he failed, just a little. Just enough. I saw the way his lips parted, the way surprise registered in his eyes and a subtle blush colored his cheeks. It lasted just a second or two, and then he pulled his mask back into place and frowned at me before turning away. “Too late, Connie,” I whispered. “I saw it. You give a shit. You and I both know it.”
He left the room. After a short, heated inner debate, I went after him. As if there’d ever been any question.
When I didn’t see him anywhere on the ground floor, I climbed the wide staircase. The second floor appeared to be nothing but bedrooms. On the third floor, the party continued in what must have originally been a grand ballroom. I did a lap, wading through the throng, but he wasn’t there, either. When I left the ballroom, I spotted a glass door at the end of a long hallway and decided it was worth a look.
The room turned out to be a sunporch spanning the width of the house, which had been converted to a greenhouse. Orchids of every variety lined long shelves and a rich, earthy smell hung in the damp air. The wall of leaded glass let in light from the full moon, which was the only illumination in the room. I heard the faintest sound, just a little rustle of fabric, and knew I wasn’t alone. The hair on the back of my neck prickled, and I slowly drew my gun. I had no idea what I’d just walked into, but all my senses were screaming at me, telling me to be careful.
I spun around and came face to face with Connie, who also had a gun drawn. We both held our weapons at arm’s length, pointed at each other. “Hello, Andreo. You’re looking well,” he said.
“So are you. Enjoying Christmas with your family?”
“Why, no. Thanks for asking.”
“Been a while since you’ve been home,” I said.
“It has, yes.”
“So, why’d you come back this year?”
“To see my brother.”
“The last time you saw Nico, you pointed a gun at him and his boyfriend and threatened to carry out a hit. I’m going to go ahead and guess you’re not exactly his favorite person these days,” I said.
“I never am. But it’s Christmas! Peace on earth, good will toward men and all that. I thought I’d drop by and see if that even extended to wayward brothers.”
“Drop by? Last I heard, you were in London, Connie. San Francisco isn’t exactly right next door.”
He raised an eyebrow and asked, “How do you know I’ve been in London?”
“I’ve made a point of keeping track of you.” I shifted a bit and said, “What do you say, should we lower our weapons? On three?”
“The only reason I’m pointing a gun at you is because I don’t know if you’ve forgiven me for Tahiti. I thought maybe you’d come here tonight to get revenge, because I threatened your brother.”
“You were never going to carry out that hit, so there’s nothing to forgive.”
His expression softened slightly and he admitted, “No, I wasn’t. I took that job just to make sure no one else did, and then I made it seem like I was trying to carry it out. If I’d said no, or if I hadn’t followed through with going to Tahiti, Jerry would have hired another hitman and you and your brother would be dead now.”
“See? I knew you cared about me. Now when are you going to admit that I’m the reason you decided to come home for Christmas?”
“My God you’re arrogant! Why do you think anything I do involves you?”
“This is why,” I said, tossing my gun on a nearby chaise and pushing his hand aside as I closed the gap between us. I grabbed him in an embrace and kissed him with all I had, and he returned the kiss for a long moment.
But then he shoved me away and yelled, “Damn it, Andreo! Is that your solution for everything? Do you think you can just kiss me until whatever problem we’re having disappears?”
“Yes.” I pulled him into my arms again, and he threw his gun on the chaise and crushed his lips to mine. His hands grasped my suit jacket and he pulled me onto the hardwood floor with him. I climbed on top of him and kissed him passionately as he held me tightly and intertwined his legs with mine.
We stripped each other just enough so that I could get inside him, after hurriedly grabbing a condom and lube packet from my wallet. He wrapped his legs around my waist and his arms around my shoulders as I fucked him urgently. He looked so beautiful. His dark eyes reflected the moonlight and his full lips were parted in a silent gasp as his body absorbed my thrusts.
I buried my face in his shoulder as I came, muffling my yell and pushing myself inside him again and again as my orgasm shook me. When I finally came down from it, I felt his erection pressing into my stomach and whispered, “Please Connie, let me finish you off.”
I was surprised when he gave a single nod. I slid from his body, tossed the condom in a nearby wastepaper basket, and pulled up my pants and briefs before kneeling between his legs and taking his cock in my mouth. The skin felt warm and velvety against my lips. I sucked him gently at first and rested my hands on his thighs, fully expecting him to stop me at any moment, but he didn’t. I even hazarded a glance at him at one point. He was propped up on his elbows, watching me, and gave me a shy smile when we made eye contact.
Since he seemed okay with what I was doing, I started
sucking him harder and faster, and after a few minutes he cried out and came in my mouth as he ran his fingers into my short hair. I savored the taste of him before swallowing him down, and kept sucking him gently until he was completely spent. Then I stretched out beside him and drew him into an embrace.
As he curled up in my arms, he whispered, “Thank you.”
“My pleasure. I’m surprised you let me do that.”
“I just…I knew it’d be okay,” he said softly. “I knew you’d stop if I told you to.”
We were quiet for a while, just enjoying each other’s presence. Eventually, I told him as I rubbed my cheek against his hair, “You’re not going to run away this time, Connie. I’m not going to let you.”
He held on to me a little tighter and whispered, “How are you going to stop me?”
I pulled back a few inches and looked into his eyes. “By loving you more than you’ve ever been loved in your life.”
He blinked at me and said, “What?”
“You and I belong together. We’re two sides of the same coin. I love you, Connie. We’ve both spent years running, but it ends tonight.”
He stared at me for a long moment, then rolled over, scrambled to his feet, and got dressed quickly. When he started to head for the door to the greenhouse, I leapt up and chased after him. When I caught him, I pinned him gently to the glass wall. “Let go of me, Andreo,” he said, his voice unsteady.
“No.”
“I said let go of me.” He sounded uncertain.
I leaned against him lightly and said, “I love you.”
“You’re a fucking liar,” he yelled as he shoved me back a few feet. “You can’t love me. It’s absolutely impossible!” His voice shook, and his eyes shone with raw emotion.
“Why?”
“Because I’m a fucking monster!” His voice cracked, and when I tried to take him in my arms, he shoved me away again and yelled, “I know you’re a liar because I’m unlovable! So fucking stop lying to me!” He tried to push past me, but I got in his way.