“I know.”
Aled chewed on his lip, then tapped Gabriel’s hip and hauled them both up from the floor. “Come on,” he said, steering Gabriel to the sofa. “You’re tired and tense, there’s no rush to get home, and if you forget to pack something then we can always pop back and fetch it whenever you want.”
“I’m not really in the mood for—”
“I don’t always shove you onto sofas to shag you, sweetheart,” Aled chided gently, pushing Gabriel to lie flat, then retreating to the other end of the sofa and perching on the arm. “Like I said, you’re tense.”
“So what are yo—ohhh, my God…”
Aled grinned. The press of his thumb to the underside of Gabriel’s foot sent a visible ripple up that mostly bare body, and he drew both naked feet into his lap to massage them. He started with the toes—small, dainty things that gave bigger clues as to Gabriel’s biological makeup than the vials of testosterone in the bathroom cabinet—and worked his way up, soothing high arches and hard ankles with soft sweeps and sharp stabs of his fingers and thumbs.
Gabriel relaxed fairly quickly, but Aled’s true aim was to knock him out for a bit. Sleepy, he was pliant and contented. And Aled wanted both, not this twitchy, skittish man who had been wound tighter than a spring for days now. So even when the lines around Gabriel’s eyes had faded, Aled kept working. Even after Gabriel sagged into the cushions and simply whimpered with every push, Aled kept going.
And only when those dark eyes slid closed and the stuttering rise and fall of his chest slowed and evened out, did Aled pause.
He waited, carefully stroking each delicate toe again, until he was sure that it had worked, then very carefully removed himself and tucked naked feet under a stray cushion to keep them warm.
“Love you,” he murmured, stroking Gabriel’s arm lightly before turning to the chaos. Right, as Suze would say. Time to wage war.
The heaps of clothes were relegated to a single heap in a corner of the room. Aled didn’t think much of the idea of Gabriel selling his things to get by, so why worry about delaying the sorting process? He picked out some outfits for the coming fortnight—simple T-shirts and jeans, underwear that hopefully wouldn’t be needed much, and made an attempt at matching socks before giving up and just finding twenty-eight individuals and saying to hell with it.
He ignored the kitchenette entirely, but the bathroom posed a new challenge. He was forced to nip down to the car for a couple of boxes and, after returning to eye the confusing mess of men’s and women’s toiletries, decided he was better off not questioning why Gabriel had five brands of moisturiser, and packed everything. The cloth bag containing Gabriel’s testosterone prescription, ready for his next trip to the GP, went very carefully on top and was packed into the car first to be on the safe side.
He explored the bedroom more thoroughly than he had in two years, sure there would be some kind of treasured possession that Gabriel wouldn’t be able to leave behind. But he found very little. There were no family photographs, no shoebox of memories stashed in a cupboard somewhere, no postcards stuck to the insides of doors. There was a computer hard drive, abandoned in the back of a wardrobe, and Aled rescued it just to be on the safe side, but suspected it had quite literally been forgotten.
Oddly, it felt—strange. He knew Gabriel had popped out of nowhere, so to speak, and that his origins were a touchy subject, but…really? Nothing?
Maybe Suze had been right. Maybe Gabriel was so wary for a damn good reason.
He stole the fleece blanket off the end of the bed, in case Gabriel wanted a home comfort, or they played and he needed it, and once he’d stacked up the few bags and boxes he’d corralled together by the door, retreated back to the sofa to remove the cushion and squeeze an ankle.
“Hey.”
Nothing.
Aled huffed, grinning, and moved up the sofa. Kissing Gabriel’s scalp got a murmur and a stir and he swiped both thumbs under bleary dark eyes when they flickered open.
“Hey,” he repeated. “Come on. I’ve packed up a few things for you. We need to get cracking if we’re going to have tea and get to bed at a reasonable hour.”
“Was in bed…” Gabriel mumbled, then yawned widely. He lifted his arms and Aled ducked into the requested hug. The body in his hands was hot, smelling of sleep and serenity, and he tucked his face briefly into Gabriel’s neck to kiss the plodding pulse in his jugular.
“I’m not carrying you downstairs, it’ll put my back out,” he complained, but squeezed a bit tighter before letting go. “Come on, beautiful thing. There’s leftover lasagne at home if you fancy it.”
The bribe worked. The foot massage and nap seemed to have worked, too—Gabriel was a bit brighter hefting the boxes downstairs and insisted on bringing his bike with him no matter how much Aled moaned about the idiocies of a bicycle when he had such a great car. The lighter mood was welcome, and Aled squeezed Gabriel’s thigh as they set off and offered a takeaway and the scenic route.
As such, it was half-ten before they got home. And Aled caught the shift in mood the moment that it happened—as Gabriel put the final box down on the stairs, stood back, and folded his arms around himself.
“All right?” Aled asked, locking the front door.
“Mm.”
“Gabriel?”
Gabriel blew upwards into his hair. “I just—I don’t really know what to do now.”
“Grab a shower and come to bed,” Aled advised, tugging him close with a hand on his arse. “We’ve both got work in the morning.”
“I’ve never just come to bed at yours. Come in it, yes. Not to it.”
Aled rolled his eyes. “Well, now you can start.”
“It just feels a bit awkward.”
“Christ, you need domesticating. You’ve slept here plenty of times. You’ve showered here even more. Grab one, then the other. And if you’re feeling a bit too twitchy and want to sleep in the spare room, then that’s fine.”
The casual offer seemed to dispel a little of the stuck feeling, because Gabriel kissed the corner of Aled’s mouth and disappeared upstairs without a further word. Aled sighed, raking a hand through his hair. This was going to be a minefield. It’d be a miracle if he managed not to spook Gabriel at some point in the next fortnight. Maybe he really would need to make up the spare bed.
But still, maybe a fortnight off from Michael being a bellend would do wonders. Grimly, Aled remembered the first time he’d seen Michael, and ground his teeth. Shove-it-in-and-shoot, really. Fuck that.
He took his time, pottering around downstairs locking up and setting out his lunch for work the next day, before heading upstairs. The steamy bathroom had been vacated and Aled headed straight into it as though he was the only one around, brushing his teeth and taking one last piss for the night before rolling his shoulders, steeling himself and walking into the bedroom.
To find Gabriel sitting on the end of the bed, naked and looking completely lost.
“What’s up?” Aled asked conversationally as he stripped off.
Gabriel chewed on his thumbnail. “Waiting.”
“For me?”
“Mm.”
“Didn’t have to. You were pretty wiped out earlier, should have just crawled in and gone to sleep.”
Gabriel shrugged a little. “Thought you might want to play a game first.”
Aled’s heart twitched, but he kept his expression neutral. “Not tonight. Too knackered, I’ll be a zombie at work tomorrow.” He climbed into bed and took off his glasses. The world blurred.
“You sure?” Warmth burrowed into the duvet beside him and fingers trailed down his chest. “You could just hold down and use me. Force me open. Make me pay for—”
Aled caught the hand. He twisted them around, catching Gabriel and turning him until they were squeezed together, locked chest-to-back. Aled’s knees rose up behind Gabriel’s and forced their bodies into spoons. He locked his arms around Gabriel’s chest, catching both dangerous hands against their
owner’s body, and squeezed.
“Stay.”
His voice growled and rumbled. It was his dominant voice, the dangerous one, and Gabriel went entirely still in his grasp.
“You are here for free,” Aled said sharply, dragging his lips over the shell of Gabriel’s ear. “You clearly need to be taught how to sleep with someone in the literal sense, so here’s your order for the night. Stay still. Like this. Just like this. No sex. No scenes. Just you and me, asleep, until the morning. Got it?”
Gabriel’s chest shivered.
“Got it?”
“Yes.”
“Good.” Aled squeezed and kissed the back of Gabriel’s head. “Now go to sleep, you little monster.”
Gabriel laughed shakily, then went quiet.
It took a long time before that warm body relaxed.
It took even longer before Aled actually slept. Instead, he lay awake for hours, clutching at something difficult to get hold of and hoping it never went away.
Chapter Twelve
Gabriel woke up alone.
Aled had a big bed, and it felt cavernous without him. Gabriel spread out in the sheets, stretching every muscle until his bones creaked, then relaxed with a yawn and opened his eyes to study the ceiling.
It felt—weird.
Nice, but weird. He’d stayed plenty of weekends, but longer stays tended to be in games. If he woke up alone in this house, it was usually locked in the cupboard in the spare room or chained to the spare bed.
Not free, in this bed, with Aled at work.
He had very vague memories of being kissed goodbye and hearing the car start on the driveway, but the insistent chirping of Gabriel’s phone said it was nine o’clock and he needed to get up and go to work. Aled must have been gone for at least two hours. It felt odd to be here without him. And it felt odder still to throw back the covers and find his Tesco uniform hanging in the wardrobe.
Aled had obviously tidied a little—all Gabriel’s clothes had been put away but his boxes were still sat in the hall. Too tired to bother unpacking, Gabriel borrowed Aled’s toothbrush and deodorant, then let himself out and headed for the bus, still yawning.
The ice was lethal and he near-skated to the right stop. The bus itself was freezing and he huddled miserably in his jacket and hoped Grandpa would give him some money for Christmas. Christ, Christmas. It was only a week away. Would Aled expect him to stay? What did Aled do for Christmas? His nan lived in a care home in Pontefract, and Suze was practically his sister. He might have plans. Was Gabriel supposed to go to those plans? Gabriel usually went to see his uncles and his grandfather for Christmas, but—
His phone beeped in his pocket, interrupting his thoughts, and he groaned. It would be Michael. He really didn’t want to deal with Michael right now.
To his surprise, it wasn’t.
Kevin: Are you out?
Kevin had gone round to the flat?
Me: Staying at Aled’s for a couple of weeks.
Kevin: Anything to do with the can of spam hanging around your flat?
Gabriel blinked. His brain was torn in two. Michael. And spam cans?
Me: Can of spam??
Kevin: I have the kids and Lily’s learning to read. So mind your language.
Me: Ohhhh
Kevin: Was sitting on your landing and gave me a right earful for letting myself in.
Gabriel winced.
Me: If you’d called I would have told you I wasn’t home.
Kevin: With that idiot hanging about, I wasn’t going to be doing anything but checking in physically.
Me: Well I’m okay :)
Kevin: It’s alright, I figured :) You always take your moisturisers when you go to Aled’s.
Me: He doesn’t use ANY, he’s a complete MAN
Kevin: Neither do I. We’re not all nancies.
Me: You might be happy to be badly groomed but I’m not.
Kevin: Watch it.
Gabriel smiled. For the first time since Michael had come around work yesterday, swearing and spitting, it felt natural. He felt—safe. Kevin was miles away, and Aled was at work, but he was safe. He quickly swiped out of the thread and opened his latest to Aled.
Me: Good morning :) I’m on my way to work. Are you going to pick me up later or should I ask Kevin?
Aled: What time you finishing?
“Bored at the office again?” Gabriel whispered. Morning commuters and old ladies didn’t give a shit about people talking to themselves on the bus. And it would get him ready for four hours of smiling at his boss.
Me: Two. Only on a half-shift today.
Aled: Sorry I’m in a conference call two til four :( If Michael is hanging around, call Kevin.
Me: Will do :) Sorry about being so weird last night. Do you want me to get anything in for dinner?
Aled: Don’t be :) Was thinking of making mince and dumplings?
Me: Never had those.
Aled: WHAT
Aled: That’s not okay
Aled: Right we have to fix that
Aled: I’ll be home by six. Get a packet of mince from work? At least 500g please
Me: Okay :)
Aled: xxxx
Gabriel smiled at the row of kisses and swiped back to Kevin. It was going to be fine. They’d have dinner and probably watch a bad TV show and maybe have some vanilla sex. Gabriel didn’t really want a game just yet, not with the seismic shifts going on, but he wanted a cuddle and an orgasm. And Aled was pretty good at providing both, even if vanilla didn’t get him going much.
Kevin: So what’s the deal with the idiot?
Me: Michael
Kevin: Whatever. Spamcan.
Me: He’s one of my regulars. I just dumped him. He’s not taking it well.
Kevin: Prick.
Me: He keeps coming to work and hanging around my flat and saying Aled’s abusing me.
Kevin: Is he?
Me: No!
Kevin: Then what’s given Spamcan that impression?
Gabriel sighed, rolling his head back against the bus seat.
Me: Because Aled wanted me to dump him, and Michael said that’s kind of creepy that Aled wants to control my boyfriend. And Aled wanted me to dump him because Michael treats me like a sex toy, which Aled thinks is kind of abusive and creepy too. So I can’t win.
Kevin: Aled and I both do the sex toy thing too…
Me: Yeah but that’s the only way Michael treats me.
He could picture the dramatic eyeroll.
Kevin: So why do you keep fucking him?
Me: I like it sometimes.
Kevin: You have two perfectly good guys who can do that for you without treating you like that all the time, you know.
Gabriel bit his lip.
That—that was the crux of it. He did. Now. But he hadn’t once, and there had been Michael to scratch that itch. Back when—
He didn’t like to remember it now, but back when Gabriel had figured it was as good as he was going to get. Back when he’d failed at his one and only serious relationship. Back when Kevin and Aled were mythological creatures found in fairy stories, not real men who really existed. Michael had been someone who wanted him, at least physically, and wanted to do him over and over again. He was someone who found Gabriel persistently attractive, and—more to point—Michael was gay. He had been the first gay man to want to fuck him, and Gabriel had been willing to overlook almost anything. Even now, he was the only gay regular that Gabriel had. Aled was bisexual. Kevin was bisexual. But Michael was gay.
And it had meant something then.
Me: I know. Now.
Kevin: Do you?
Me: I’m getting there.
Kevin: So you dumped him?
Me: Yeah. He was making Aled uncomfortable and tbh he was starting to make me uncomfortable too.
Kevin: Good. You deserve better. You always have.
Gabriel swallowed thickly.
Me: You can’t make me cry on my way to work, it’s rude.
Kevin: Look
at allllllll the fucks I give!
Gabriel snorted.
Me: What about not swearing???
Kevin: They’re busy colouring in the cat.
Me: You don’t have a cat.
Kevin: I know but they found one…
He scrubbed the threat of tears away with the heel of his hand and launched the other bombshell.
Me: Aled asked me to move in with him.
Kevin: About time
Gabriel blinked.
Me: What??
Kevin: You’re mad about him. He’s good for you. He’s a nice bloke. It’s obviously serious, so it’s about time.
Me: It’s scary.
Kevin: Tell you a secret—it’s even scarier for him.
Gabriel frowned.
Me: What?
Kevin: Having your sub move in is terrifying.
Me: That’s not what I mean.
Kevin: ?
Me: This is the first time someone’s wanted me to move in just because. Like…not because I’m a basketcase and need help or because they want to level up our sex games or because otherwise it’s homelessness. It’s the first time someone wants me around all the time just because and I’ve never had that before. Even my own mum didn’t want that.
The Other Man (Starting Over Book 2) Page 10