by Karen Kincy
Konstantin pointed out the first and second doors on the left. “These will be your cabins. Let me know if you need anything.”
“Thank you,” Wendel said. “You make a decent airship steward, archmage.”
Konstantin blushed. “Good night.”
Ardis opened the door to her cabin and discovered a small bare room with a single berth. Light glowed from a wall lamp shaped like a porthole. Ardis glanced back at Konstantin, who hesitated in the doorway.
“Merry Christmas,” Konstantin said. It almost sounded absurd.
Ardis nodded. “Merry Christmas.”
Wendel lingered behind the archmage. Ardis caught his eye, but Konstantin let the door swing shut between them.
Ardis tried not to worry about Wendel. Frowning, she kicked off her boots and killed the light. She crawled into the berth, still fully clothed, and yanked the blankets over herself. The moment her head hit the pillow, exhaustion anchored her there and dragged her down. She drifted underwater in an ocean of sleep.
~
Outside the window, a maidenhair tree danced in the wind and scattered its golden leaves over the streets of San Francisco.
Ardis sat at the dinner table. The naked blade of a jian rested on the old wood. When she touched the Chinese sword, it ignited under her fingertips. Enchanted flames crawled over the steel and whispered against her skin.
“Chun Yi,” she whispered.
Her sword smoldered with its own fire, brighter than the autumn leaves.
“Yu Lan!”
Her mother, Jin Hua, swatted away her hand. Jin Hua looked distracted, her long dark hair twisted back in a careless bun.
“Put down that sword,” Jin Hua said.
Ardis did as she was told. Jin Hua delivered plate after plate of delicious food until the table groaned under its burden. A whole pot of wonton soup, an embarrassment of dumplings, roast duck swimming in sauce, pork cooked with mustard greens, and Ardis’s favorite, sesame chicken with handmade noodles.
Her mother pressed a pair of chopsticks into her hand.
“You need to eat,” Jin Hua said. “For the baby.”
“What baby?” Ardis said.
Jin Hua poured her a cup of fragrant jasmine tea. “Don’t be silly, Yu Lan.”
When Ardis looked down, the world went askew. She was pregnant? She rubbed her round belly. Very pregnant.
“Mama?” Ardis said, her words unsteady. “I’m having a baby?”
Jin Hua smiled. “Sooner than you think.”
Ardis jerked awake and clutched fistfuls of sheets in her hands. Her pulse hammered in her ears. She pressed herself to the mattress, trying to piece together the fragments of the dream, but it still didn’t make much sense.
Unless…
Ardis slipped her hand under her shirt and touched her belly. It felt as flat as it ever did. But that didn’t stop the panicky little jitter to her heartbeat. She had been careful, she had taken precautions. She couldn’t be pregnant.
Though, with enough bad luck, she knew she could be.
God, what would Wendel say about her dream?
Talking to him about babies didn’t seem like a conversation they could have right now. Or ever. And she had never been remotely intrigued by the realm of tiny helpless wailing things that demanded tributes of milk.
Ardis propped her elbows against the berth and pushed herself upright.
“It was just a dream,” she muttered. “A nightmare.”
Because of course an accidental baby would be a nightmare. She was a mercenary, for heaven’s sake. She pressed her lips together and decided to stop thinking about it. The part with the sword was the most interesting, anyway.
Barefoot, Ardis tiptoed to the next cabin and slipped inside.
Wendel lay with his arm curled around a pillow. He lifted his head.
“Ardis?” he whispered.
Her stomach tightened. “I couldn’t sleep.”
“Ah.”
Wendel swung his legs over the edge of his berth and patted the spot next to him.
“Join me in the insomniacs club,” he said. “Very exclusive. Only the best clientele.”
Ardis sat close to Wendel. Her dream darted through her mind again. She inhaled and held the words in her mouth.
Wendel’s smile faded. “What is it?”
Ardis touched her belly. There was no baby. Maybe there never would be.
“Nothing,” she said.
“Don’t lie to a liar,” Wendel said gently.
“You first.” Ardis raised her eyebrows. “Tell me why you couldn’t sleep.”
Wendel laughed and rubbed his thumb over his lip. She studied his face, though she couldn’t read him well in the shadows.
“I couldn’t stop thinking about the vampires,” he said.
That wasn’t what Ardis had expected.
“Are you angry that Konstantin saved me?” she said.
“No.”
Wendel stared at the floor. His eyes narrowed slightly.
“What did it feel like?” he said.
Her stomach clenched. She knew what he was asking, but she didn’t know how he would look at her if she told him the truth.
“Like bliss,” she whispered.
Wendel looked at her with a strange curiosity in his eyes, then looked away.
“Fifteen hours is a long flight for a zeppelin,” he said. “They will have to stop to refuel. We can still escape to Switzerland.”
“You don’t want to go home?” she said.
Wendel was silent for a moment. “Prussia isn’t home.”
“But you have family there.”
“Correct.” Wendel clucked his tongue. “I doubt they will abandon Königsberg.”
“Königsberg?”
“The capital of East Prussia, and the name of our ancestral castle there.”
Ardis gawked at him. “Castle?”
Wendel grimaced. “Tragically, Königsberg isn’t much of one. Back when the Teutonic Knights built it, the castle was a crusader fortress, but over the centuries it has been dandified, for lack of a better word.”
“I’m still amazed you have an ancestral castle.”
“We won’t for long when the Russians invade,” Wendel said. “Juliana and Wolfram may have the sense to flee, but my father isn’t the kind of man who surrenders. And I know my mother would stay by his side.”
Ardis touched his arm. “Are you worried about them?”
Wendel laced his fingers together and inspected his hands.
“Yes,” he said.
“Then you should help them.”
“You don’t have to tell me that,” he said dryly. “I’m not heartless.”
She poked him in the ribs. “Tempted by the thought of being a hero?”
“Hardly.”
She smiled at him. “I can’t imagine you riding into battle on a white stallion. You’re too devious for that. I expect you to skulk into the castle under cover of darkness and let an army of undead do all your dirty work.”
He laughed. “I have a reputation to maintain.”
Ardis started to stand, but Wendel caught her wrist and tugged her down. She fell sideways against him, halfway in his lap, and he held her with an arm behind her back. He smiled, dipped her lower, and stole a kiss. His lips felt divine against hers. She melted against him, craving the heat of his skin.
Wendel’s stubble grazed her cheek as he moved to whisper in her ear.
“I’m still tempted to escape,” he said, “so we can spend more time alone.”
Ardis licked her lips. They hadn’t been alone like that in days. She ran her hand over his cheekbone and combed her fingers through his ragged hair, remembering how long and beautiful it had been when she first met him.
“I should trim your hair,” she said.
“Not handsome enough for you?” he said.
“You look rough around the edges.”
He lowered his voice. “Rough isn’t always bad.”
Blushi
ng, she pushed him away. “Calm down.”
“I’m calm.”
When he adjusted himself beneath her, Ardis knew that he wasn’t exactly telling the truth. He attempted to look innocent.
“Your turn,” Wendel said. “You never told me why you crept into my cabin.”
“To seduce you, clearly.” Ardis hoped her smile looked real.
“I’m all for seduction,” he said, with a raised eyebrow, “but this isn’t fair. I want to know what keeps you awake at night.”
Anxiety prickled along Ardis’s skin. She tried to sound flippant.
“San Francisco,” she said.
Wendel hesitated. “The man who wouldn’t take no for an answer?”
Ardis pressed her hands between her knees. She didn’t know how to tell him the truth.
“No,” she said. “Not him.”
But she wasn’t brave enough for the rest.
“It was just a dream,” she said again, as if repetition would make her words real.
Ardis started to stand, but Wendel held onto her hand.
“Stay with me,” he said. “I can’t sleep without you.”
Ardis looked into Wendel’s eyes, and he looked back at her with a vulnerability that he didn’t often reveal. She slipped her hand behind his neck and captured him in a kiss. They dropped onto the berth. After an awkward moment of elbows and knees, they fit together. Wendel lay on his back and Ardis lay with her head resting on his chest. She heard the steady thumping of his heart under her ear.
Wendel’s heartbeat thumped harder as Ardis unbuttoned his shirt and stroked her hand over his warm skin. He flinched when she found a few of his scars, but he had so many that she couldn’t touch him without reminding him of his memories. She wanted to touch him until he forgot the pain and felt only pleasure.
“Before I met you,” Wendel said, “it was easier to fight.”
She frowned. “Are you saying I’m a liability?”
“You misunderstand me.” Wendel paused, his face only inches from her own. “In some ways, it is easier to face death alone.”
An ache both sick and sweet panged in Ardis’s chest.
“You aren’t alone,” she said.
“Exactly,” he said. “I don’t want to see you hurt.”
She smiled, her eyes stinging. “That sounds awfully heroic of you. I think I might be ruining your reputation, Wendel.”
He laughed. “To hell with my reputation,” he said, and he kissed her.
Ardis deepened the kiss. Wendel’s hand slid under her shirt, and she arched against him. His thumb rubbed circles over her nipples, first one, then the other, until the tight pleasure made her moan softly into his mouth.
“I love you,” Wendel whispered in her ear.
Ardis swallowed hard. Was this the part where she said the same?
She had told him she loved him the night he died, the night she brought him back with borrowed magic. But of course he hadn’t heard her then. Somehow, parroting the words back to him now felt like it cheapened them. Her hesitation fed the guilt in her gut. And so she hid her emotions behind a smile.
“You should love me,” Ardis teased. “I saved your life.”
“Oh?”
She couldn’t see Wendel’s face, though she was sure from the sound of his voice that he was raising one of his eyebrows.
“Are we keeping count?” he said. “Last time I checked, I rescued you.”
“But I was smart,” she said. “I never swore fealty to you.”
“How evil of you,” Wendel said, with suppressed laughter in his voice. “I suppose this means I’m still yours to command.”
Ardis smiled in the dark. “I command you to lie back and close your eyes.”
“Yes, mistress.”
She laughed and swatted him. “Don’t call me that.”
“Technically, it’s true. We aren’t married.”
Ardis shook her head and climbed onto Wendel. She straddled him on her knees. He untied her braid, then combed his fingers through her loose hair. He had such a gentle touch for a man who fought with his hands.
“For me to be your mistress,” Ardis said, “I would have to be a kept woman.”
“I see,” Wendel said.
He didn’t sound like he was paying much attention. He seemed to be more fascinated by running his hands along the curves of her hips.
“Considering how you have no money,” Ardis said, “you can’t afford a courtesan.”
Wendel lifted his head and dragged the pillow closer, as if to give himself a better view.
“I know little about courtesans,” he said. “Please, by all means, educate me.”
She scoffed at him. “I could be insulted.”
“Are you?”
“No.”
Ardis bent down to kiss Wendel. His hands cradled her face tenderly. Then his fingers tangled with her hair, and he kissed her more fiercely. He caught her lower lip in his teeth and bit her just hard enough to make her gasp. Panting, her face flushed, she broke away and saw the stark desire in his eyes. The look was more lust than love, but she would take it. She wasn’t sure what love looked like, anyway.
Wendel distracted Ardis from her thoughts by thrusting against her. She rubbed him and savored how hard he had become. Then she leaned back and stripped off her shirt. She tossed it away and reached for her belt. Before she could unbuckle it, Wendel hooked a hand over her shoulder and flipped her onto her back.
“Allow me,” Wendel said.
Ardis shivered at the rasp in his voice. She loved seeing him like this. He unbuckled her belt. She helped him by wriggling out of her trousers. She laughed when the cloth bunched at her ankle and he struggled to tug it over her foot.
“That was a mistake,” Wendel said. “Imagine something much more seductive.”
“Oh, I’m imagining all sorts of things,” Ardis said.
Wendel knelt over her. “I’m listening.”
“I’m imagining you naked, first of all.”
“Done.”
Wendel slid off the berth and stripped naked in remarkable time. When he walked toward her, she saw his silhouette and raised her eyebrows. He was clearly imagining things of his own. She reached out and wrapped her fingers around him. He sucked in a breath and staggered nearer, his knees bumping against the berth.
“That feels good,” Wendel said, in very gravelly way.
Ardis stroked him in her hand. He groaned and closed his eyes. With her other hand, she felt how his buttocks tightened. She stroked him faster, then stopped and climbed onto her knees. He was inches from her mouth.
“Ardis?” Wendel said.
She was surprised how coherent he was. Still.
“I’m imagining something,” Ardis whispered.
Her breath breezed over him, and she saw him clench his hands into fists. He seemed to be having trouble holding motionless.
“God,” Wendel said, “don’t make me guess.”
Ardis smiled wickedly. “Is this torture?”
“If this is torture, I would sign up willingly.”
They had been through hell together, including actual torture, and Ardis didn’t want him thinking about that right now.
She didn’t want him thinking about anything right now.
Licking her lips, she bent forward and looked up at him through her eyelashes.
“Do you want me?” Ardis said.
Wendel growled the words. “I want you more than anything.”
She laughed, then took him in her mouth. He gasped. She ran her tongue around the tip, then took him a little deeper. His fingertips brushed the back of her head. She sucked on him, and his fingers tightened in her hair.
“Ardis,” Wendel said.
She drew back and looked at him. “Yes?”
His face tensed. It took him a moment to articulate his thoughts.
“Tell me what you want. I want to know exactly how you imagine this ending.” Wendel exhaled shakily. “Please.”
Ar
dis smiled at his attempt to be polite.
“I want you to moan,” she said.
He shuddered, involuntarily, and she licked the length of him. When she lifted her head, he was clenching his jaw tight.
“To tell you the truth,” Ardis said, “I’ve never done this before.”
Wendel sucked in a shaky breath. “Never?”
Blushing, she laughed. “Don’t sound so surprised. I was a good girl in San Francisco.”
“I’m honored to be your first,” he said.
“How gentlemanly of you.” She felt a nervous flutter in her stomach. “Any requests?”
“Whatever you are comfortable with.”
She smiled. “That’s a dangerous thing to say. I never said I was that innocent.”
“I’m quaking in my boots.”
“You aren’t wearing any.”
“A minor point.”
Ardis arched her eyebrows. “You are altogether too witty.”
“I don’t—”
Ardis licked Wendel again, and his words became a gasp. She stroked him in her hand, caressing him with her fingers and her tongue. He uttered something unintelligible. She smiled, and he flinched at the light touch of her teeth. She kissed him as an apology, but he backed away from her and blew out his breath.
“I won’t last like this,” Wendel said.
Ardis couldn’t stop smiling. “I’m good?”
He raised his eyebrows, as if this question were far too obvious for a reply.
“Or,” she said huskily, “very, very bad?”
Wendel let out a growling sigh. Ardis slid her lips around him and enjoyed every gasp and shiver she elicited. He groaned and closed his eyes, his head tilted back. She stopped only when her jaw started to ache.
“Ardis?” he said.
She rubbed her cheek. “My jaw hurts. I blame you.”
“What? Why?”
“Try to be less well-endowed next time.”
He laughed. “Apologies,” he said, but he didn’t sound sorry at all.
Wendel stepped away from Ardis, every muscle in his body taut with tension, and bent to grab his coat from the floor. He rummaged in a pocket until he found what he was looking for. He held the preventive high.
“Yes?” Wendel said.
Ardis plucked the preventive from his hand and tossed it away.
“No,” she said. “I want to finish what I started.”