by Rena Marks
“We will have to keep a clear head now for sure,” one gritted. “I shall massage myself to completion. Remember, men. We have the power. Do not be ruled by the scent of wet female in heat.”
Insulted, Marcie opened her mouth. Bajoc clamped his hand over her lips. “Mmmph.”
“Let’s scan the place for hidden weapons.”
The voices grew fainter as they headed away.
Bajoc removed his hand from her mouth and she followed his lead. “We can slither out if we stay near the outer wall,” she mouthed.
He nodded his agreement.
They stayed opposite the Quakers, mashed onto their stomachs and squished up against the wall. They moved when the men did, staying out of their peripheral vision. Finally they made it to the outer door. As soon as the Quakers went into the smaller room that would be the daycare for the offspring, they opened the front door and crawled out on their hands and knees.
Bajoc grabbed Marcie’s hand, pulling her upright.
“There you are,” Lara called out from around the corner. She held Lily in her baby sling while Tristan held the larger lump of Hagan in his.
“Oh, thanks for keeping an eye on her,” Marcie babbled, brushing off her knees casually. She picked up their bibble through the sling while Lara transferred the neckpiece over to Marcie’s head instead.
“Reese and Titi are over at the playground with Tomlak, Eelia, and Trince,” Lara said.
“Is that hay in your horns?” Tristan asked.
Bajoc stood straighter and clasped his right hand to his left shoulder. “Yeth, it ith.”
Tristan blinked. “Huh? Stand down, warrior. No need to be all formal.”
“We’re still in mission mode,” Marcie said. “We were just spying on the Quakers. They think we may be in cahoots with the Herbasnuts because they’re so arrogant they can’t believe there would be a traitor on their planet.”
Tristan rubbed Baby Hagan’s bottom through the sling. “Interesting. That makes me lean toward the Herbasnuts somehow infiltrating their system instead of a Quaker leaking the information out.”
“How can that be?” Bajoc managed to spit out. “The planet hath been protected from outer electronic sourceth.”
“They’re managing it somehow. And it’s our duty to figure out how.”
“They’re going to use these two hours before the ball to…” his mate’s cheeks turned adorably pink. “Jack-off. They don’t want to be ruled by their little heads if we ask them to take back the Puritans. They want them put to death.”
“Bullshit!” Lara exploded. “They’re banished, so they’re now Hespriian citizens as long as they’re on our planet, Tristan. We don’t have to allow them to be killed because the Quaker pricks deem so.”
“No, we don’t,” he soothed her. “If they order their execution, we will refuse it. But let’s just play along for now to see if we can find out how the Herbasnuts are getting top secret weapon building information. Their planet president assures Kriekjan that he has no idea how the information is getting there, and Kriekjan believes him.”
“Did Kriekjan even listen to anything that was said? He’s been so enamored with chasing Pariah’s wooly…skirt,” Lara said.
“Kriekjan does have a sense of people,” Tristan said. “It is his gift. I would trust who he does.”
“Well then, it’s up to us to figure out what’s going on,” Marcie said. “We’ll go talk to the ladies, and then get home to feed the babies and get ready for the ball. Shall we meet you back here?”
“No, how about if we get Reese and Titi? We can bring them home and start bathing them for the ball. We’ll just meet you at home,” Bajoc said.
“Yes, that’s better,” Marcie agreed. “We can check on how things are going with the others and meet you both at home.”
* * * * *
The women were still gathered around the area where the ships had docked.
“Who’s helping the girls get ready?” Marcie asked Anita.
“Definitely not me. Do I look like a prom queen?”
Lara came up to the girls. “Pfft. Not after what we found in your closet, in addition to the tube top.”
Anita narrowed her eyes. “Raine, Isabel, and Jannie are helping the puritanical virgins.”
Lara giggled. “I imagine Raine will be a huge help with those eyebrows.”
“Let’s get moving,” Marcie suggested. “We only have two hours. Lara and I will take Pariah.”
When it was just her, Lara, and Pariah in the room, Marcie got down to business. “Okay, look. We need to know everything about your planet. Tell me why someone is so jealous of you they would frame you to be banished to a strange planet.”
Pariah hemmed and hawed.
“Come on, Pariah. Spill it. It’s just us, nothing will go beyond this room.”
“Okay, fine,” Pariah sneered. “You want to know my dirty secrets? I’ll give you the low-down. My honorable Lennard thinks I had the affair before Peenis’s marriage.” She sighed. “I’ve already paid my dues to the Lord for my sins. But the affair continued long after the marriage.”
Lara’s eyes looked like they’d pop out of her head.
“You…whore,” she gasped.
Pariah hung her head. “I am.”
“Well, the important thing is you know it was wrong, and you’re sorry. But is that why Peenis’s wife is deadset on penalizing you?”
“Yes.” Pariah moaned. “May the Lord strike me now for my indiscretions.” She held her arms wide, waiting for the lightning. Nothing happened. She dropped them, her palms smacking the sides of her thighs. “Even He doesn’t want me, but you know who does? Lennard. I just don’t want to disappoint him by thinking I’m not the supreme, alabaster goddess he’s come to worship.”
“I’m sure he’ll worship you no matter what. He hasn’t stopped yet.”
“I went from Madonna to madame,” Pariah moaned. “How did I sink so low? Just be nice to the gentlemen, my momma said. But she never told me the women are lying, vicious serpents!”
“Lying?”
“Well, Millie didn’t lie, per se, but she was vicious in her telling of truths. That’s as good as a lie.”
“Is it?”
Pariah nodded frantically.
Chapter Ten
Marcie:
The children were in the small room in the barn, even the babies. Cribs were set up along the back wall. The families with newborns were the ones who took turns watching the children’s room in half hour sprints.
Currently, a crew of women were working on the fake unibrows, and dresses for the Puritans. The leader of the unibrow crew was Raine, of course, who knew her brows.
The music was playing, the offspring were happily ensconced in the second room, and everyone was awaiting the dramatic unveiling of the Puritans.
Everyone except the Quaker males. They laughed and guffawed among themselves without a care in the world like it was a Saturday night poker party. It could be they didn’t want the poor Puritans back home. Maybe they did have every intention of putting them to death. The little bastards should be strung up to dry.
“May I have your attention please?” Pariah’s voice boomed and Marcie wasn’t sure how she didn’t have anyone’s attention. “Attention! I’d like to present my Puritans.”
The spotlight the men wired shone near the doorway. Marcie crossed her fingers that the five would be standing still and not risk their ungraceful little feet tangling.
Success! All five women stood in various pastel shades. Sister Virginia wore a pale blue, Molli dressed in a buttercup yellow, Beatrice in a mint green, and Joy flushed brightly in a baby-doll pink. Standing a foot from the rest was Wilma in dark blue, her usual scowl plastered across her face.
But it was the foreheads that captured Marcie’s attention. Damn, her girls were good. Wilma’s had morphed from the hideous bush into a nicely shaped, even landing strip across her forehead. Molli’s was a delicate, well-groomed braid. Virginia’s was
a heart smack dab in the middle of her forehead with two long ribbons that stretched into normal brows. Joy had hers shaped into swiggles, and Beatrice’s gentle roll was dyed yellow to match her skirt.
Pariah looked unusually lovely with her hair loose, in flowing waves down her back. She was in her element, Marcie realized. From across the room, Kriekjan scowled and Peenis looked horny. Again. He shifted the bulge in his pants as he hopped from foot to foot.
The four Puritans fluttered their fans while Wilma closed hers and smacked it against the palm of her opposite hand, like she wished it slapped flesh instead.
“Hot damn,” one of the little men said. “You dolls just get better lookin’.”
Marcie stared, wide-eyed, as tiny bulges appeared in their pants.
Wilma glanced down also, and looked disgusted. The younger ladies giggled from the compliment.
Next to her, Lara gagged. “So gross.”
“Were you ever in the army?” One of the bald little men stepped forward, looking up at Molli. “’Cause you shore have my privates standing at attention.”
Molli gasped.
“I may not go down in history, but I’ll go down on you.” Another little man stood right next to Joy, with his face upturned. She fluttered her hand out, reaching for Marcie desperately. Marcie grabbed her hand and pulled her in close to her, nearly toppling the little man.
Another little piss ant sidled up to Virginia. “My friend over there wants your number so he knows where to get a hold of me in the morning.”
“It’s eight, six, seven, five—” she said innocently. Molli clasped a hand over her mouth, nearly smothering her.
Poor Virginia had no idea why. Marcie felt her heart melt just a little.
The same obnoxious little man tried again. “Fuck me if I’m wrong, but isn’t your name Laura?”
“No.” She blinked, baffled. “It’s Virginia. You are wrong.”
His smiled gleamed, showing all his horse-like teeth, which were too big and square for his little mouth. He reached for her hand triumphantly. “Let’s go, doll. I’m not Asian, but I’ll still eat your cat.”
Marcie stepped in and slapped his hand. Hard. Obnoxious little prick. She pulled the scatter-brained Virginia behind her. “Her name’s Virgin-ya. Virgin!” She glared at the creeper, who slunk back to the rest of the little brood, pouting.
Since none of the Puritans seemed receptive, a particularly desperate Quaker sidled up to Wilma. “Your beauty is why the Lord invented eyeballs, but your booty is why the Lord invented my balls.”
“Your balls are why the Lord invented my boot.” Wilma said viciously, flicking the small man away. Even Marcie felt like crossing her legs.
“Pariah, my dear, you owe me a dance.” Peenis was suddenly right there, in front of the much taller, majestic-looking Pariah, who looked down her nose at him.
Kriekjan growled. Marcie elbowed him, and pulled him and Bajoc a step backward with her as Pariah left with Peenis.
“This is what we’re gonna do,” she whispered. “Baby, I’m gonna go dance with Kriekjan. Get things rolling. When we’re close to Pariah and Peenis, you come and cut in, and whisk me away. Kriekjan will then do the exact same thing to Pariah. Peenis will be forced to go sit and watch because there are no other dancers present. Got it?”
Before Bajoc could respond, Kriekjan all but pulled her to the dance floor. He twirled her round and round, stopping her near the other couple long enough for them to see who he danced with. The room swayed, and she blinked a few times to clear her dizzy vision from his overly-enthusiastic hustle.
Marcie’s heart stopped as she felt rage building in Kriekjan. It wasn’t a slow song, but Peenis had his little head dropped onto Pariah’s ample bosom anyway. His hands wrapped around her body and rested on her meaty ass, as if he staked his claim. Quickly she gave a look over her shoulder at Bajoc.
In one smooth second, her mate tapped Kriekjan on the shoulder and twirled her away from the scene. She looked backward just once to realize she wasn’t facing the couple, but the crowd instead. Most of the people had open mouths and horrified eyes.
Dizzily, she looked over her shoulder the other way. Peenis was motorboating Pariah’s open cleavage. Pariah, for all intents and purposes, allowed it.
Marcie gasped. At the last moment, she caught Pariah’s wink.
A furious Kriekjan stepped in.
Kriekjan tapped Peenis on the shoulder, but Peenis shook him off the way one might a fly. The entire group gasped as the Supreme Commander grabbed the smaller man by the neck, picked him up, plopped him down three feet away, and yanked the hand of the fleeing Pariah.
She fell into him, her head flopping onto his chest the way Peenis’s had on hers. He lovingly carted her away, leaving Peenis standing alone and bewildered.
Being held close to Kriekjan, Pariah started to sway to the beat of the music. She picked up the pace as if she couldn’t help herself. Then she whirled and she twirled. She slunk up to the poor, besotted man, and bent over at the waist to push her round rear into his groin. When he groaned, she backed up and began rubbing it along his thigh in the mimic of a sex act. She tossed her long hair over her shoulder, and shimmied at the shoulders. The pasty white cleavage vibrated with the equal intensity of Jell-O.
Kriekjan got into the dance. He grabbed a fistful of Pariah’s hair in one hand and thrust his hips at the same time while she bent over at the waist.
“Is this dancing?” Bajoc whispered.
“I’m not quite sure. I’m a little confused.”
They watched for a few more minutes.
“I think I’ll talk to the little guys,” Marcie whispered to Bajoc, who seemed unable to tear his eyes away.
His eyes gleamed. “Good idea. Make them feel comfortable. I’ll come with you.”
Peenis stood with a smaller man while the four others stood a bit off to the side. Bajoc sat down to talk to those four.
“Hello. Mayor Peenis, isn’t it? I’m Marcie.”
“I’ve truly lost her, haven’t I?” God, the sound of his voice sent thrills down to her woman parts, even after the hay-time with Bajoc.
Marcie cocked her head. “Did you ever really have her?”
“I could have, at one point. I didn’t choose well.”
That must have been when he chose Millie, the woman who would become his wife. “Is that your wife? Millie?” Marcie asked carefully.
He sighed. “Yes.”
“I’m a little worried about Pariah.”
He turned his head at that.
“Do you think Millie might ever do anything if she could blame Pariah for it?”
“No,” he said. His voice was firm. “I almost left Millie when she had Pariah banished. We have an understanding between us.”
Off in the distance, Tristan motioned to Bajoc.
“Will you be all right?” Bajoc asked her.
“I’ll be fine. I’ll get the Puritans over here.”
Bajoc looked relieved that she wouldn’t be alone. “I’ll send them.”
Peenis sipped on his drink. Apparently, the lack of trust was mutual because little men came running over, all carrying their drinks. She probably should have grabbed one herself before heading over, just so she could look casual as she pumped them for information.
“Hi, Marcie,” Joy said, teetering on her high heels. She seemed to have a better handle on it earlier when they’d practiced. Perhaps her feet were tired now.
The tiny Quaker men leered at the Puritans.
“It must be Moanday,” one of the men said. “’Cause you babes are lookin’ better and better.” He let out a loud moan for effect.
“Ezriah, you’re a naughty, naughty man,” Virginia said calmly.
“Spank me,” he said. “It’s the only way I learn.”
His buddies tittered with laughter. Marcie watched the Puritans, and it seemed like they finally saw their men as they were—now that they had others to compare them to.
“Well, now,
you all know a Puritan is to remain pure,” Beatrice said, gritting her teeth.
“Bee, you hairy little doll, you only need to remain pure until that wonderful woman-fur comes in. We can break you in whenever you wish it,” another said.
“I go by Tris, now,” Beatrice said, her dignified manner making the Quakers look all the more outlandish.
“Tris is a beautiful name,” Marcie smiled.
The little man guffawed. “Trys? Tryst? Baby, I’d love a tryst with you. Let’s test the waters before we head back to Quakestrarian.”
Tris gritted her teeth. “I believe I was banished from Quakestrarian.”
Pariah, ever the fun-loving bull, stormed over.
“Keep it in your pants, Gyna. That teabag was actually better the second time around.” She peered at his crotch.
The little man shrank back, his hand protecting his privates.
“My girls will only have the pick of the litter. You can see what lovely unibrows they’ve blossomed into on this planet. Why, I wouldn’t be surprised if they refused to head back until you learned how to treat a lady.”
One of the men gasped and stood up angrily, shaking his finger at her. “Refuse to come back? How dare you? We can issue an order for them to hop back by the next moon, if we so wanted.”
Joy huddled next to Molli, slipping her arm into hers. Molli slipped her free arm into Virginia’s, and Virginia slipped hers into Beatrice’s.
“Yeah? Funny thing is, you banished us. Technically, we’re not citizens and don’t have to obey any interplanetary demands, do we? In fact, if I want to sleep with a Freijian tonight, I will! If I want to elope with him tomorrow, I will!”
“You can’t do that.” Gyna’s jaw dropped. “You’re a Quakestrarian citizen.”
“One who you all threw away,” Pariah pointed out again.
From the corner of the room, Wilma came running. “No, don’t listen to these twits. We’re going back. We are. As soon as the command is issued, we will hop onto the nearest flight.”
Pariah’s eyes narrowed. “Wilma. Stand with your sisters.”