by Brooke Page
“An informant? You worked for the cops?” Her blue eyes were wide as saucers. Releasing another deep breath, I dropped my hands to my thighs, leaning back to give her space. I held my head in shame, realizing how much of a low-life I was back then.
“Sort of an informant. If I didn’t help them, I’d have to do time for being involved. I signed a contract, and I went free when I took him down.” I went on with my spiel. “I thought the pain would go away once I’d gotten my revenge, but I still felt empty. I put Marcus away, stopped his empire, but I couldn’t figure out why I was still so broken inside.”
I lifted my head, tears threatening to spill when I looked at Lauren. She was so fucking beautiful, so innocent, and all of the anger and hatred that was written on her face was gone, only sweet empathy settled into her eyes.
“Is that why you hated your dad so much? Because he was into sex trafficking?”
Taking a long blink, I let out a long breath. “It should have been the main reason, but no. I hated him for killing my mother.”
She took in a sharp inhale. “I thought she overdosed?”
I swallowed. “She did, but he’s the one who injected it into her. He’s the one who prepared the drug, knowing it was way more than her body could handle. My mom was an addict, but she knew how much she could take. I knew she loved me, and she would never risk taking too much to leave me alone in life. I can still picture her body lying on the shore.”
Lauren’s brows scrunched in confusion.
“Marcus called me when she died. Told me I needed to go look for her on the beach. The sick fuck dumped her in the water after her heart stopped. It was a miracle her body wasn’t eaten by a shark. Marcus was irritated, but I think he liked the fact that I found her more. He thought with her gone, I’d be loyal to him and his projects.”
I tilted my head away from her, rubbing away an escaping tear with my t-shirt. I was letting my emotions get the best of me. Lauren didn’t need to see me cry.
“Vance,” she soothed, reaching to touch my cheek. I leaned into her hand, needing the soft touch of her skin. It helped ease the pain of reliving the nightmare.
“I’d give anything to replace the last image of her in my head. She was so cold,” still not able to meet Lauren’s eyes, I continued, “I pulled her into my arms, rubbing her as if I could warm her back to life. She was blue, yet pale like ivory. Her eyes were open, but empty when I stared into them.”
She stroked her fingers down my jaw. “Why didn’t you call the police?”
“I did. I walked straight to the police department. That’s when I signed the contract. They’d forgive all of my involvement in exchange for being a rat.”
“But you still had to be involved,” she muttered. “Finding women to sell?”
I met her eyes. “Yes, but they came in shortly after. None of the girls were actually sold that I worked with. We made the bust before they could be taken. They were still drugged and prepped to be sold.”
Her eyes widened in horror.
I dipped my head in shame. “I wanted to save them sooner, but my supervisor wouldn’t settle. He was worried if we did it sooner, the charges wouldn’t stick.”
“What do you mean by drugged and prepped?”
Taking a deep breath, I closed my eyes. “Marcus had this drug he developed, illegally. It was an enhancer of some sort.”
She took her hand from my cheek and held it between us. “Okay, I get it. You don’t have to go into detail.”
A miniscule amount of tension left my shoulders. I was thankful she didn’t want details. Even more thankful she had no recollection of the time Marcus slipped it in her drink.
“When we finally went in and took down Marcus’s operation, I thought something inside of me would shift. I thought I’d feel differently, as if serving justice for my Mom and every other woman who suffered because of him would take away the pain, but it didn’t. I still had this giant hole in my heart.”
Taking both of her hands, I looked her square in the eyes. “I didn’t need to stick it to my Dad. I needed to run away with you, Lauren. You’re what took away the emptiness. You’re what made me happy. You still make me happy. Today was the most alive I’ve felt since I held you in my arms the night you left.”
Tears fell down her cheeks. “I don’t know what to say.”
“You don’t owe me any words.” I squeezed both of her hands. “All I have are excuses for why I pushed you away that night.”
She let go of my hands, hugging herself then standing, walking toward the front steps leading to the driveway. She was distraught from my confessions.
I followed, well aware how much I had made myself look like the biggest pussy in the world, but I was willing to do that. She needed to know why I had crushed her back at The Shore, and that if I could take it back, I would.
I stood behind her, and the muscles in her shoulders tightened, her fingers digging into her biceps. I wanted to cover her hands with mine, but I didn’t know if she’d allow it. My touch might not offer the same solace as hers did for me.
Instead, they found my pockets, and I brushed passed her, catching a whiff of her citrus scent. “If I had to do it again, I would’ve brought you home,” I murmured close to her ear. She didn’t move, and I bit on my bottom lip to keep from kissing her.
“I wanted Colby to fix it,” she whispered into the cool night air. “I came right to him. Afraid to go to my trailer. I don’t know why, but I kept thinking, if I go home, she’ll be there, lying on the couch, dead.”
A pang hit my chest, understanding exactly how she felt.
“He tried. He gave me everything I needed, offered everything I wanted. He was patient, understood why my moods would change. He knew I was messed up inside. I’d cry, all of the time at first. He thought it was because of my mom, or that’s what I told him. How could I tell him the truth?”
My heart shattered, the pain I caused was still there, surfacing with her words.
She sighed, turning to face me. Her eyes were dry, then she blinked, a wet layer glassing over her baby blues. “I slept with him, practically attacked him. I thought if I gave myself to him, the pain would fade. I thought if I had sex with him, I’d be able to forget about you, but damn it, all I could do was think about you. I cried, and he thought it was because I was overwhelmed, and I was, but only because I wished like hell you were on top of me and not him.”
It stung hearing her talk about sleeping with another man, but by her omission that she thought of me when she was with him, gave me hope.
“It eventually got better. I loved Colby, I really did, but I could never give him all of my heart.”
Crickets chirped in the woods, and I couldn’t stop myself from whispering the question I had to know the answer to. “Do I still have part of your heart?”
Without meeting my eyes, she murmured, “Yes.”
My impulses got the best of me, and I pressed my lips to the corner of her mouth. She didn’t make an effort to turn into my kiss, but, she didn’t shove me away. She kept her arms crossed and stood still, not leaning into me or acknowledging me. She was drained, and needed time. That was all right, because I had all of the time in the world for Lauren. I’d let her be, for the night. Give her time to swallow everything I’d spilled.
Taking a deep breath, I walked down the steps to leave, her voice stopping me in my tracks.
“Vance?”
I turned to give her my attention, hoping for her forgiveness.
“Why are you really in Harris?”
Not skipping a beat, I answered, “For you.”
***
Time crawled until Sunday evening. I tried to focus on the task Riley had given me, but I couldn’t stop thinking about Lauren. The terror that I had opened up to her too much chilled through me, and I was horrified I had scared her away with all of my confessions.
Who would give a boyfriend from seven years ago another chance? One who bald-faced lied to her constantly, had kept a relation
ship with another woman to sell her to human trafficking? A boyfriend whose father was a monster, who had a similar mold and was capable of destroying her?
So what if I cried like a little bitch in front her? She had every right to run as far away from me as she could.
Coming to the conclusion I wouldn’t be hearing from Lauren until she was forced to see me at work tomorrow, I focused on my next task at hand. I was meeting Colt for a beer at the local bar, Bud’s. It was where Jonah visited frequently. I’d been keeping a close eye on him, careful to stay in the shadows. He’d driven passed my house a few other times, and I’d have to figure out a way to follow him up the hill without being noticed.
After a long shower, one where I shamelessly beat off to the image of Lauren, I dressed in my typical faded jeans and gray t-shirt, ruffling my short hair and pushing it to the side in the front, then grabbed my wallet and phones, including Riley’s burner phone.
I texted Colt that I’d drive myself and meet him there. I wanted to be in control of when I could leave, and needed to get out of the cabin before Colt was off shift. Slipping on my sandals, I locked the door and headed for my truck.
The bar was a hole in the wall, and I’d had a few beers here on my own already, sitting in the corner as I’d people watched. It was how I knew Jonah would most likely be here, but he wouldn’t show for a few more hours.
I eyed the walls covered in beer merchandise and neon signs. The bartender had her sights on me, and I refrained from making eye contact with her. She’d made a few attempts to make advances the last time I was here, but I’d simply asked for my bill. I must have been too subtle.
“Vancy!” Colt greeted when he eventually walked through the door and sat down across from me. He was still in his uniform. “Glad we could finally meet up. I feel terrible you’ve been here this long before I could break away to get a drink.”
“Nah, it’s no big deal.”
I pushed a beer toward him. “Thanks. So, tell me what’s new?”
I bobbed my head back and forth. “Living the dream.”
We shot the shit for a good hour. I mainly listened while Colt talked about the police force he worked for and how small it was, how he had to bust his ass to get to his position as deputy sheriff. He gave me a rundown of him and Marcy and all the crap they’d been through, but that they were happy.
“Enough about me and my sap story, how are you settling in?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “I’m doing all right. Getting my ass kicked by Pete. I forgot how much manual labor sucks.”
Colt chuckled. “Yeah, I hated moving all your shit around that little store. I’m still shocked you took the job.”
“It’s a good change of pace. The town is small, and I like it.”
“Yeah, a lot different from The Shore.”
I raised my glass to him. “That it is.”
“Crime rate seems to be rising, though,” he sighed.
I furrowed my brows at him.
“Even more so on the outskirts of our jurisdiction. Missing people are the biggest call-ins. Particularly women.”
I held my beer to my lips, keeping my cool. Riley’s feeling was right, but whoever was in charge wasn’t doing a good job at being secretive and picking the right girls that wouldn’t be noticeable if they disappeared.
“Feels a lot like my past coming back to me,” he muffled, taking a long drink of his beer. He wasn’t an idiot. He knew why I was in town, and I was fairly certain he knew what my real job was.
He frowned and raised a brow. “There’s only four of us on the county squad plus the sheriff, who is a real piece of work. Makes for long days and not very many off.”
“That sounds horrible.”
“It is. Marcy gets irritated, but, I don’t mind at the same time. I love taking the bad guy down as much as you,” he winked.
My lips rounded inward. “Yeah, you could say that.”
“I must admit, I was shocked when I heard you were working for Pete and with Lauren. It also raised my interest on why you might really be here. I figure it’s one of two things.”
I ran my thumb along the condensation on my beer, sitting up straight when I saw Jonah walk through the door. I checked my watch, sure enough, he was right on time with a few of the other men he typically arrived with. “Yeah, I was pretty shocked to see Lauren.”
He raised a brow. “You were? Surprised, although you took a position at the same place of employment as her?”
I glanced between him and my beer. “I didn’t know she worked there.”
Colt’s lip curled upward. “Right.” He didn’t buy my bullshit. He knew I was good at finding people, and he knew I kept tabs on her. “She’s aged well, and after having a baby.”
My eyes snapped to him, and he laughed. He pointed his finger at me and hackled, “Shit, I knew it!”
“Knew what?”
He patted his chest. “Your heart still goes pitter patter for her.”
I scowled at him. “Do you have a vagina now? Who even says pitter patter?”
He smirked. “A man who knows love when he sees it.”
My brows furrowed. “How would you know if I have an interest in her?”
His grin was still in place. “Because that same glare you’d shoot any guy who showed the slightest bit of interest in her just showed up on that pretty surfer boy face of yours.”
My shoulders slumped. “That obvious, huh?”
He nodded, but his grin faded. “Is she the real reason you’re here?”
“I’d be lying if I said she weren’t part of it.”
Colt’s facial features smoothed. “Lauren’s still as good of a girl as before. A lot of locals have their eyes set on her, but they’re all afraid because of Colby.”
Now I was scowling. “What happened with him?”
Colt arched a brow and held his beer to his lips. “Do you really not know?”
I’d read the newspapers, but something told me there was more. I wanted Colt to think I was in the dark. “No, I don’t, and I don’t have the heart to ask Lauren about it.”
“Ask Lauren? You two talk?”
“A little, well, we’ve slowly been talking more. I don’t want to rush anything.”
He smirked. “More like fuck up anything.”
I rolled my eyes, hating that he was right. “Yeah. So what happened with Colby?”
Colt eyed the bar, then leaned forward. “He bought the small engine repair shop on the other side of town from the owner. Was doing really well for himself, had a good business flow going. One night, a worker must have left something running, sparked a fire. I guess Colby was by himself inside.” A frown marred his face. “It was terrible.”
“So he died from smoke inhalation?”
Colt shook his head. “Burned to death.”
“Shit.”
Colt looked over his shoulder and tilted his head toward the pool tables where Jonah and a few other men were shooting sticks. Jonah sent me a glare, but gave Colt a nod. Colt waved at him, then brought his attention back to me. “Jonah over there, he was partners with Colby. I swear the fucker did it, and if I had to guess, he’s the second reason why you’re here.”
I stayed silent, and Colt only frowned. He knew not to push me for information, and by my locked lips, he got his answer.
I narrowed my eyes at him, staying on target. “Lauren said Jonah was Colby’s best friend.”
“Doesn’t mean shit. You of all people should know that. I think there’s more to the story.”
“Did you investigate him after the fire?”
Colt was visibly irritated by the marring on his brow. “Couldn’t find anything. Didn’t help the Sherriff was pushing us to look elsewhere.”
I frowned. The Sherriff was most likely dirty, or Jonah paid him off. I’d have to watch that fucker more closely.
“He’s got a thing for Lauren,” I grumbled under my breath.
Colt rolled his eyes. “You sound like Marcy.”
&n
bsp; I swallowed a dryness that formed in my throat. “Are him and Lauren…?”
“Nah. Lauren isn’t about to start a relationship with Colby’s best friend. She was loyal to him. She held herself together during all of it, better than I would if the same thing had happened to Marcy. I feel awful for Tessa. She’s still having trouble with it.”
I clenched my jaw. “I can’t imagine she wouldn’t.” Losing a parent sucks.
Colt’s eyes softened. “I don’t think Tessa believes he’s dead. She always wants to go to his grave, and she talks about him as if he’s still around. I think it’s harder on Lauren seeing Tessa miss her dad than the fact that she doesn’t have a husband anymore.”
I took a deep breath. “She did ask to go see him Saturday.”
Colt smiled. “So I wasn’t hearing things when I heard your name come from Lauren’s mouth this afternoon.”
I sat up straight. “What do you mean?”
“Lauren and Tessa visit us often, and Marcy shooed me away, but I was damn sure I heard your name, and the word kiss…”
Now I was smiling, and I couldn’t control it. Colt’s eyes widened with his grin. “I can’t believe you didn’t say anything!”
I shrugged. “Did you hear the part where she shoved me away during it? Called me out for the complete asshole I was to her seven years ago?”
He laughed. “No, I was forced to leave the kitchen, but she was beaming.”
My heart began to beat faster. Lauren couldn’t be turned off to me if she were happy while talking to Marcy. “Glad to see Marcy still has you by the balls.”
Colt smirked. “You would know the feeling.”
I glared at him, but he was right. Lauren had me wrapped around her finger, even though she didn’t realize it.
Colt’s phone buzzed and he smiled when he typed on the screen. “You good for another round?”
I held up my empty bottle. “Yep.” I eyed Jonah. “You ever play pool?”
Colt glanced back over his shoulder. “Sometimes. You wanna get in line?”
Standing from my chair, I went over toward Jonah. I needed to make a move on him soon, and with the good endorphins from what Colt told me about Lauren’s reaction toward me, my confidence was exhilarating.