Six Bits

by Laurence Dahners

  “I’ve got a friend who makes them.”

  Keith’s experience with instruments made by guys in small shops was limited, but the ones he’d seen had been big on gee-whiz and low on actual sound quality. Still, it looked well-constructed, as if whoever’d made it was technically competent at least. Maybe her buddy really did turn out a decent instrument. “It looked like you were playing along with us in our first set. Did you really know all those songs?”

  She shrugged and looked a little bit embarrassed, “Yeah, I know a lot of songs…” she shrugged, “all the songs you played anyway. I like to play along ‘cause I think it’s good practice. Besides, I like classic rock and you played a bunch of that.”

  Keith looked back over his shoulder. Dave and Bernie weren’t back yet, but he didn’t think they’d be upset about him inviting a girl this cute to play with them. Looking back at her with a shrug of his own, he said, “You want to join us on stage and play along on the next set?”

  She frowned a moment as if giving it serious thought, then glanced at her watch, “I’m here on a family vacation and we’re supposed to eat here on the patio in just a few more minutes.” She looked back up at him, “How about the set after that one?”

  Thinking about how disappointed he was going to be when her husband and kids showed up for dinner, Keith tried not to show it, saying, “That’d be cool. Just give me the high sign when you’re ready to play and I’ll invite you up to the stage. What’s your name?

  “Eva,” she said, glancing off to the side, then standing up without giving her last name. “My folks just came in, so I’ll catch you a little later.” She stood, slung her guitar over her back and walked away.

  Nice legs, Keith thought as he admired her retreating form. Then he noticed Dave and Bernie staring at him from the stage.

  When Keith stepped up on the stage Bernie rolled his eyes, “There was no way you had any chance with a girl that looks that good!”

  Keith raised an eyebrow at his bandmates, “She’s eatin’ dinner with her family, then she’s going to play a few songs with us on the set after this one.”

  Bernie snorted, “You got it bad, don’tcha! You know… just ‘cause she looks good and carries a guitar, that doesn’t mean she can play worth a damn.”

  Keith played the opening chords of “I Want to Know What Love Is” while he said quietly, “I’ll bet she can.”

  Both Dave and Bernie rolled their eyes at that one. Dave said, “She’s way too young for you anyway.”

  As they played the next set, Keith’s eyes kept returning to the girl’s table. She and her family had been seated at the edge of the patio, far from the band’s little stage. As he’d hoped, her “folks” appeared to be her parents. There was a young man with them too, but Keith thought he looked younger than Eva. Hopefully he was her little brother. He chided himself, Like Dave said, she’s way too young for me. It might be interesting to have her play with us, but I’ve got to be realistic!

  By the time the Sons took their next break, Keith thought Eva and her family might be finishing up their dinner. This time he took his club soda and lime back to the dressing room with Dave and Bernie. Bernie lifted his chin at Keith and said, “What are you going to do when this girl stinks up the place?”

  Keith frowned, “I was planning to give her a choice of several songs. I’m sure she’ll pick one she knows pretty well.”

  “Sure she’ll pick one she knows, but still, she’s an amateur. Just because she knows a song doesn’t mean she’ll play worth a damn! You’re the one who’s dragging her up on the stage, you need to have a plan for how you’re going to ease her off when she starts to embarrass us.”

  Irritated, Keith said, “Come on! I didn’t just go ask her to play because she looks good and carries a guitar! I watched her during our first set, and I’m pretty sure she played the right chords to every song we played. And I watched her playing by herself during the break, she was bending the strings. If she’s not any good, I’ll kiss your asses!”

  Dave turned his back and bent over, “You’d just as well kiss it now.”

  Keith pulled an ice cube out of his drink and dropped it into the back of Dave’s pants while he was bent over. “You guys are a pair of crotchety old men,” he said. Turning toward the door, he said, “I’m heading back out.”

  Keith got another club soda and lime and headed back up onto the stage. While he waited for the other guys he tuned his guitar since he hadn’t played it during the first couple of sets. Surreptitiously, he sent his eyes around the patio, disappointed because he didn’t see the girl.

  When Dave and Bernie got out to the stage, Bernie nudged Keith and said, “Hah! She stood you up!”

  But, after they played their first song, Keith recognized the girl leaning on a post near the edge of the patio. She had a black baseball cap on backwards that covered her reddish blonde hair. A strap crossed her chest, so he was pretty sure her guitar hung behind her. Eyeing her, he lifted his eyebrows interrogatively and played a second or two of air guitar. She nodded. Keith leaned to the mike and said, “The Sons of Beaches would like to invite our new friend Eva up to play a song or two with us.”

  He heard Bernie snort behind him as the girl leaned away from the post and started walking toward the stage. Bernie started playing the bass line from Blurred Lines. Dave started the beat on the cowbell and kick drum. Keith knew they were trying to embarrass the girl with the sexy/sexist song. He shot them a quick glare, but they pretended to be oblivious and kept it up. Rather than looking offended, Eva crossed the floor with a little strut that picked up the beat. Keith saw that strut drawing eyes from all around the bar.

  Keith leaned down to give her a hand up onto the little stage. She took it graciously, though she obviously needed no help. She leaned close, “What channel?”

  He blinked, then realized she was asking about the UHF channel on their wireless musical instrument system. He’d been thinking that she would jack in with a cord and had laid one out for that purpose. He looked over at their wireless receiver, wondering if she had a transmitter since they didn’t have an extra. He said, “Channel 6?” He looked back at her, “Ours is an AKG system, do you have a compatible transmitter? We don’t have an extra.” He looked at her again and realized that she didn’t have an equipment bag and certainly didn’t have room in the pocket of those snug shorts to be carrying a transmitter.

  “Yeah, it’s built in,” she said, deftly twisting one of the many knobs on the body of her guitar. She flipped a few switches.

  Keith said, “Do you know…” he broke off when the girl started strumming the guitar. His first thought was that she was embarrassing herself, him, and the band, by doing a sound check when the drums and bass were already playing something. Though, he thought, it served the guys right for playing a song that didn’t really even have a guitar part when a guitarist was coming up to join them. Then, he realized as she faded in the volume that Blurred Lines did have a guitar part. The original version didn’t have one and he’d never heard anyone play the song with a guitar part, but the girl was playing ringing, choppy little chords that fit right into it.

  They sounded great!

  Keith turned and lifted an eyebrow at Bernie whose eyes were wide with surprise.

  Normally, Keith sang the song and the guys had cycled through the intro a couple of times by now so he turned toward the microphone. Before he got there, Eva stepped up to it, gave him a wink, and started singing:

  “If you can’t hear

  What I’m tryin’ to say…”

  Robin Thicke’s original version had been sung in a high-pitched falsetto. Eva imitated it flawlessly.

  Except, she sounded a lot better.

  Keith looked out at the people in the bar. Crowds could be notoriously fickle. They were especially hard to please with popular songs that they expected to sound like the original versions. He liked Eva’s choppy little chords, but worried that their audience wouldn’t.

  He needn�
��t have worried, people were streaming out onto the dance floor, even though it was earlier than people usually danced at the Piña Colada Bar.

  Keith refocused on their music. He really liked both Eva’s chords and her vocals. He couldn’t really put his finger on just what was so great about them, but something was. This girl could make it big someday, he thought to himself. He wondered what he should be doing. Eva was singing and there really wasn’t a keyboard part for this song so he was somewhat at loose ends. Then she gave him the eye as it came time for Pharrell’s and T.I.’s parts, and he sang those.

  The song wound down, and Keith wanted to keep the crowd out on the dance floor. He turned to Eva, “You know, ‘I Gotta Feeling’?”

  She didn’t answer, only gave him a sly grin as her fingers scampered over the switches and knobs on her guitar again. Then she started playing the intro chords for I Got a Feeling. Chords he usually played on his keyboard using what he thought was the same guitar patch the Black Eyed Peas had used.

  Keith thought it sounded better played on her guitar. He began thinking that whoever had made an electric guitar with all those effects built right into the body must be a really talented dude. Keith started playing the synth strings and singing Will.i.am’s part. He looked back out at the dance floor.

  People were going crazy.

  Eva sang Fergie’s parts perfectly. Once again, he thought she sounded better than the original. As he watched the crowd, he thought they may be thinking the same thing.

  When they finished “I Got a Feeling,” he started to ask her if she knew “Love Shack,” but she’d lifted an eyebrow. She’d already started picking the intro notes to “Sweet Home Alabama.” The Sons had played that song in their first set, but it had been a soft version with Keith playing the lead on the keyboard. Eva played the lead with a slightly rougher, more distorted guitar tone than Lynyrd Skynyrd had used.

  It sounded awesome! More and more people were crowding onto the dance floor and people were filtering into the bar from the beach. Keith wondered exactly what was happening. Sure, the girl sounded good, great even, but could it be such a big difference that it would draw a crowd like this? Or was something different going on?

  They finished “Sweet Home Alabama” and she pulled a weirdly distorted, distant scream sound out of her guitar as she leaned to Keith and said, “You guys know ‘Another Brick in the Wall’?” When he nodded, she started strumming the chords of the intro even as the scream slowly faded out. He started to glance back at Bernie, wondering if Bernie had picked up on what she was playing, but then he heard the bass come in right where it should. Her odd guitar now sounded just like David Gilmour’s… except… somehow just a little better. As Keith started to sing, “We don’t need no education…” He once again wondered how she was doing it. He didn’t think of “Brick in the Wall” as a great dance song, but when he looked out at the floor it seemed to be even more crowded. Some were dancing, many were just swaying to the music, eyes focused on the stage. Eyes focused on Eva! He looked around. The whole damn bar was standing room only! There were people up on chairs!

  Keith shook his head. He’d never seen anything like what was happening this night.

  As they wound Brick down, Keith wondered how to keep this phenomenon going. Despite his gut, which said the crowd’s unbelievable response was to Eva, he kept hoping that maybe his band had just finally found their groove and she was only a layer of icing. Maybe we could invite her to join the band? A good looking girl guitarist might be what it takes for us to move to the next level!

  They’d just played two songs that he thought of as classic rock, so now Keith wanted to play something more current. Something that had a good guitar solo. He thought for a moment, then leaned to her as she faded her strumming away and said, “Do you know Eve of Destruction’s ‘High Burn’?” As soon as he said it, he regretted it. The song had a guitar solo all right. One that virtually no one could play. When the Sons played the song, they just skipped the section that had the guitar solo in it because there was no way they could do it justice. He couldn’t play anything like it on the keyboard, and he sure as hell couldn’t play the guitar that well.

  But Eva just grinned and nodded, showing him a cute dimple he hadn’t seen before. Hoping she could play something that wouldn’t embarrass her, Keith turned to Bernie and mouthed “High Burn.”

  Bernie raised an eyebrow in some disbelief, but started drumming his fingers on the low bass string like the bassist from Eve of Destruction. He mouthed back, “With that solo?!”

  Keith shrugged. Dave brought in a solid backbeat and Keith punched up the Hammond B3 patch on his synth and started filling in with low chords.

  Eva’s hand slid down the neck of the guitar, pulling out a rising, wailing, tone. The lead guitar part came to life. Keith blinked as he realized that she’d flipped over that oversized ring and was using it as a slide. Maybe it’s not such a ridiculous thing for a guitarist to wear after all. He felt even more impressed with her custom guitar because whatever effects it contained, they were imitating the sound of the guitar on the original song by Eve of Destruction…

  Which, he suddenly realized, was played by a girl.

  A beautiful girl with black hair… named Eva!

  Keith’s eyes rose to focus on her face. This girl was strawberry blonde, but hair could be dyed. Right now, with the black baseball cap covering her hair, you wouldn’t even know she was blond.

  Eva from Eve of Destruction was supposed to be pretty reclusive, avoiding photos and staying out of the limelight. No one even knew her last name. Certainly Keith hadn’t seen any close-ups to know exactly what she looked like.

  She gave him a knowingly delighted grin and started into the guitar solo.

  The girl played that astonishingly complex solo.

  The one that had stumped so many of the gods of guitar.

  Keith would have sworn she played it perfectly, note for note. All the effect changes that he’d thought had probably been pre-recorded in a studio—those were made by touching switches or knobs on the body of that guitar with flying fingers.

  Trying not to gape, Keith looked up at her grin, then out at the crowd.

  He realized that the intermittent noise he’d been hearing came from all those people roaring “Eva… Eva… Eva…”

  Somehow, as the song faded to a close, she’d managed to fade to the back of the stage.

  By the time the last notes died away, she was gone.

  No one saw where she went.

  Later, Keith would remember that night as magical. To himself, he would wonder with embarrassment how he could have invited one of the world’s most famous musicians, someone who filled stadiums with adoring fans, up onto the stage of the Piña Colada Bar to play a set with the Sons of Beaches… and not even known who she was.

  Most of the time, he didn’t let on. When people asked him about it, he’d just frown and say, “Of course I knew…”

  The End

  Inspired by the urban myth that a vicar, not knowing who Eric Clapton was, but seeing that he owned several guitars, invited him to play at church—giving him several weeks to practice up before he did it.

  Hope you liked the book!

  If so, please give it a positive review on Amazon.

  Acknowledgements

  I would like to acknowledge the editing and advice of Nora Dahners, Gail Gilman, Elene Trull, Mike Alsobrook, Philip Lawrence, Kat Lind, and Abiola Streete, each of whom significantly improved these stories.

  Table of Contents

  SANDER

  EXCELTOR

  MACOS

  PORTER

  BILLY BENOIT

  GUITAR GIRL

  The End

  Acknowledgements

 

 

 
ends