by E. L. Todd
“You’re telling me he never told you how he felt?” he asked incredulously.
“Told me how he felt about what?”
He took a step back. “Oh…I guess he didn’t.”
“Tell me what?” I pressed.
“Never mind. Forget I said anything.” He turned away with his cart in hand.
Could I let him walk away without finding out the truth? What could he possibly know that I didn’t? “Sage, hold on.” I abandoned my cart altogether and went after him. “I need to know whatever it is you’re talking about.”
“Uh, it’s not my place to say anything.” He took a step around me.
I blocked his path. “Come on. You can’t hint at this sort of thing and then just drop it. I’m not going to leave you alone until you tell me.”
“Fine.” He set his basket on the ground so he wouldn’t have to carry it anymore. “Volt came by my place about two weeks ago.”
“What?” Where was I? Why didn’t Volt say anything to me?
“He tried to convince me to give you another chance. He said you were really miserable without me and needed me in your life to be happy. I told him he was wrong, that he got the wrong information.”
I admit I was bummed out Sage dumped me, but I certainly wasn’t miserable. And I never said I needed him to be happy. “He told you I said that?”
“He said he overheard you on the phone with a girlfriend.”
Sara. He must have heard me talking to Sara.
“So he tried putting us back together. But I told him it wouldn’t work because I’m not going to be with a woman who wants another man.”
This time, I didn’t deny it. There was no point. After kissing Volt the other day, which would make it my third time kissing him, I couldn’t lie to myself anymore.
“And he admitted that he has feelings for you. That he’s had feelings for you for a very long time. He went out with Julia in an attempt to get over you. He’s always around you because he’s obsessed with you.”
I heard what he said, but it took a long time for the information to enter my brain. Every word and every meaning was clear, but I still couldn’t wrap my mind around it. “He said that?”
“Please don’t tell me you’ve been ignorant this whole time. It’s written all over his face. You’ve never noticed the way he looks at you?”
My mind was drawing a blank as I tried to recall any evidence. I assumed Volt didn’t see me like that, so I never paid attention.
“I told him to go after you. But I guess he didn’t.”
He did go after me. I just didn’t understand what he wanted. My eyes drifted to the ground as I tried to absorb everything. Flashbacks of our time together came into my mind. I remembered all the innocent touches and sleepovers. I remembered all the times he insulted both Drew and Sage. I remembered the way he carried me up the mountain when I hurt my ankle.
Now I saw it.
Sage watched the transformation take place on my face. “Do you see it now?”
“I…I don’t know.”
He leaned down and grabbed his basket again. “You guys are the dumbest people I know. Go find him and tell him how you feel. And live happily ever after.”
***
I banged my fist on his door and immediately regretted it.
My feet took me there, but I didn’t know what to do.
I didn’t have a clue what I should say.
Fuck, what do I say?
The door opened when I wasn’t prepared for it, and I came face-to-face with him.
Volt stared at me coldly. He didn’t give anything away, seeming indifferent. He was hurt by my rejection and still hadn’t recovered from it. “Hey.”
“Hi…” I was breathing so hard that I couldn’t keep calm.
The sound of the TV echoed all the way to the front door. It sounded like a car racing video game was on.
“Are you busy?” I asked.
“Clay and I are playing a game.”
“Oh. I guess I’ll come back some other time.”
The TV turned off, and Clay appeared with his backpack over his shoulders. “I was just leaving. See ya.” He pushed past me and took off, practically running from the situation.
Volt didn’t say bye to him. He stepped away from the door and allowed me to come inside. His shoulders were squared, and he looked terrifying. I’d never seen him behave this coldly before. It was like he hated me. “Let me save you some time. I’m okay with not being friends anymore. You can go off and do your thing. I won’t bother you.” He grabbed a beer out of the fridge and twisted the cap off.
“That’s not what I came here to say.”
“Really?” Even though he just opened it, he set the beer on the kitchen table.
“Really.”
“Then what did you want to say?” He leaned against the cabinets, his arms across his chest. The openness he used to have with me was gone. He was just as cold as he was on that day I met him. I just walked eight months into the past.
I hooked my hands together in front of my waist and came closer to him, still intimidated. “I just ran into Sage.”
His eyes picked up at the comment. For a second, his rage disappeared, the fear replacing it.
“And he told me everything you said. Is that true?”
“Is what true?” he asked quietly.
“That you have feelings for me.” My voice shook on the way out, clipped.
He broke eye contact and stared at the ground. “I think it’s pretty obvious how I feel. It’s obvious in everything I do and say. You don’t need me to answer your question.”
“But I want you to answer my question.”
He pushed off from the cabinet, his arms still across his chest. “Yes.” He held my gaze as he said it, all the feelings and emotions heavy within the look. “I’ve felt this way…since the day I met you. I didn’t realize it at the time, but I did shortly afterward. And by the time I pulled my head out of my ass, you were already with someone else…and then another guy. I kept losing my shot to tell you how I felt.”
Now that I heard it from his own lips, there was no denying the truth. Sage was right about everything—from the beginning. “What does that mean?”
“I don’t understand your question.”
“I mean, what does that mean?” I pressed. “What does having feelings for me entail? You want a booty-call situation with me? You want to be in a relationship? What?”
“I really have to spell it out for you?” he whispered.
“I’m sorry if I seem a little dull, but…after everything you’ve told me about yourself, I’m not exactly sure what you can give me.”
“What I can give you?” He stood up straighter, his head cocking to the side. “Does that mean you want me?” Hope rang in his voice like a loud bell. It echoed in his apartment, dulling in the background but never dying out.
Being this close to him and hearing these words pulled me out of my denial. I kept telling myself Volt was just a friend, but he’d never really been a friend. I’d lied to myself so many times that I actually believed it. “Yes.”
He stiffened slightly at my response, and the coldness finally disappeared from his gaze. He took another step forward, the man I knew coming back to life. “Taylor, I’ll give you anything you want. Just tell me what you want, and I’ll give it to you. Because I’d do anything to be with you.”
My eyes sprang with tears I didn’t know I had. I didn’t let them fall, but they grew in size until there was no way to contain them. I felt the drops spill over in the corners, streaking down my face.
“Baby.” He closed the gap between us and dug his fingers into my hair. He pressed his forehead to mine and watched the tears fall down my face.
I sniffed then quickly wiped the moisture away, embarrassed by how quickly my heart gave in. Everything I’d been repressing came to the surface. I told myself not to have feelings for him, but I went ahead and did it anyway. This whole time I’d been fixated on him without
even knowing it. Every night I slept over meant something. When I ran to him after Drew cheated on me, I did it because I wanted to be with him, not anyone else. When I chose him over Sage, it was because he was the most important person in my life, not anyone else. “I feel so stupid…”
“Don’t.”
“I feel stupid for not knowing how you felt. I feel stupid for lying to myself for so long. The whole thing…is stupid.”
“At least now we know how we really feel.” He wiped away the last of my tears with his thumbs. “Even if it took us a while to figure it out.”
I nodded, feeling his hands still on my face. My hands automatically reached for his wrists, and I held on to them tightly. I could feel his pulse underneath my fingertips, steady and strong.
“You’re mine?”
All I could do was nod.
“And I’m yours.”
Chapter Six
Volt
A weight had been lifted from my shoulders.
I felt free.
All the pain I’d kept buried deep inside had disappeared instantly.
It was like it never happened at all.
I lay beside Taylor in my bed with all the lights out. After our heartfelt conversation, we went into my bedroom and cuddled together on the blanket. The sun had disappeared beyond the horizon, and I wasn’t sure what time it was. I assumed the moment she was mine, my mouth would be glued to hers, and I wouldn’t stop kissing her until her lips were chapped.
But I was happy doing this.
She looked into my eyes as she ran her fingers up and down my arms. Her makeup was smeared from the tears she shed earlier, but instead of making her look worse, she looked better.
Because she cried in happiness.
My hand moved to her stomach, feeling the flat surface and her small ribs underneath. I noticed how large my hand was in comparison. I loved knowing I could squeeze and touch her whenever I wanted.
I explored her arm and her shoulder, feeling her everywhere and enjoying every minute of it. So far, her hair was my favorite place to touch. I loved how soft it was, and I loved the way she reacted to me. Her lips would part slightly, and she would release an innocent breath that made my hair stand on end.
She did the same to me. She felt the muscles of my arm then my shoulder. Then she fingered my hair freely, dedicating the detail of each strand to memory. Her fingers moved down my chin and over the scruff from my laziness. I hadn’t shaved in a week because I’d been too depressed to give a damn about my appearance.
Now I wish I’d cleaned myself up a bit.
“So…what do you want to do?” She trailed her forefinger across my lips.
“This.”
“I like this too.”
The world outside was cold, and it was supposed to snow over the weekend. Winter had hit the city, and everyone was bundling up in their jackets and scarves. But I wasn’t planning on leaving—unless Taylor did.
“I wish you’d told me sooner…” Her eyes left my lips and met my gaze. “I wouldn’t have wasted time with Drew…or Sage.”
“I do too.” Just when I got the courage to do something, it was too late. But at least it worked out in the end.
“When did it happen?” She cupped my face and rested her forehead near mine on the pillow.
“I’m not sure, actually.”
She continued to stare at me, wanting more of an answer than that.
“It was shortly after we met. I thought we were just friends, but in reality…I was falling for you. I stopped sleeping around for a long time. Julia is the only woman I’ve been with, and I didn’t enjoy it at all. I was just trying to get over you.”
“Sage and I have been broken up for a few weeks. Why didn’t you say something then?”
“I thought I would be a dick for going after you right when you got out of a relationship. Wanted to give you some time first.”
“Oh…”
“But that didn’t work out…” Because I kissed her.
“Everyone kept saying you had feelings for me…and I never believed it.”
“Well, you’ve never been very bright,” I teased. “I made it so obvious. Not even going to sugarcoat it.”
“I guess it was too good to believe, so I never believed it.”
How she could think I wasn’t attracted to her, desperate for her, was beyond my understanding. I’d never wanted a woman so much in my life. And it wasn’t just physical, which baffled me the most. It was on a deeper level, a soulful level. “Believe it now.” I moved on top of her and dug one hand into her hair. I was positioned exactly where I wanted to be, her body underneath mine. Her legs wrapped around my waist, hugging me tightly. “Sleep with me.”
She dragged her nails down my back. “I’m not going anywhere.”
I rubbed my nose against hers before I pressed my mouth against those soft lips. It was our first kiss as something meaningful. I’d anticipated how it would feel because I’d had this embrace before, but somehow, to my astonishment, it was better.
Whenever I kissed a woman, it was aggressive. I usually bruised her mouth because I was coming at her so harshly. While Taylor drove me wild, I didn’t want her like that.
I wanted it to be soft.
I moved my lips past hers and gently sucked her bottom lip. She gasped quietly when she felt me caress her with gentle kisses. Every time she breathed into my mouth, she injected more life into me.
When my lips were parted, she slipped her small tongue deep inside, and the contact made my spine coil in pleasure. It was my turn to moan, and I did quietly. My hand fisted her hair, and I kept her in place even though she wasn’t going anywhere. I rocked into her gently, my hips naturally wanting to thrust.
Her fingers found the hem of my shirt and yanked it hard over my head, ruffling my hair. She tossed it aside then ran her hands up my chest, feeling every single groove of muscle. They ran up to my shoulders where she felt their strength. “You’re so beautiful, Volt…”
I’d been called hot. Sexy. Ripped. Godlike.
But never that.
And I liked it. It was the way I looked at her. I thought she was a stunning woman with a gorgeous ass, but she was so much more beautiful underneath. That’s why I fell for her—because she was more than just a pretty face.
She had a pretty soul.
“You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever seen.”
Instead of rolling her eyes or telling me I was a liar, she believed me. She saw the sincerity in my gaze and knew this wasn’t a trick to get between her legs. I had no other angle—but honesty. “You don’t think I’m a weird girl with strange clothes?” The corner of her mouth rose in a smile.
“I’ll always think that.” I chuckled and rubbed my nose against hers. “But you’re going to be naked with me most of the time anyway. Clothes don’t matter.” I wanted to be inside her, to rock her into my headboard and make her come all night long. But I also wasn’t in a rush. I just wanted her to be mine. And now that I had her, I was happy.
I didn’t need anything else.
She pulled me toward her with her legs then cupped my face with her hands. She gave me a look I’d never seen before. She adored me, opened herself up to me completely and utterly. Her hands pulled my mouth to hers for a deep kiss. Once we touched, she took a sharp intake of breath, as if my lips burned her. “Volt…”
My body ached the second I heard that. I’d fantasized about her saying my name before, but every time I heard it brought me to a new plane of existence. “I love hearing you say that.”
“And I love saying it.”
***
I planned on blowing off work and staying with Taylor forever.
But she didn’t have that luxury.
“I have to go to class.” She pulled away from me and grabbed her clothes from the ground. “I’m sorry. If I could stay here with you, I would.”
“You have sick days. Use one.”
She held her jeans and blouse to her chest. She was
wearing my baggy sweatpants and t-shirt, but she made them look as sexy as lingerie. “You know I can’t do that.”
“Yes, you can. Why do you think they give you sick days?”
“Not to shack up with my boyfriend.”
Boyfriend. It rang in my ears loudly, but in a good way. “Baby, come on.” Now I could call her whatever the hell I wanted without faltering. She was my girl, and I had every right to give her a nickname like that. I snatched the clothes out of her hand and tossed them on the bed. “Stay with me.”
She softened like butter left on the counter overnight. She was giving in to me, slowly oozing until she was a puddle on the floor. Her eyes moved to the bed again, considering jumping back into it. “No…I can’t. My students need me.”
“I need you.” I gripped her by the hips then lifted her into my arms. Her legs automatically hooked around my waist like we’d done this a hundred times. I’d carried her before, but not in this position.
And I liked it.
Her chest was pressed to mine, her firm tits distinctive through the t-shirt. I could feel her nipples rub through the fabric and against my bare chest. I wanted to pull it off and kiss the valley between her breasts. “I’ll make you breakfast in bed.”
“As appetizing as that sounds, you know I can’t stay.” She gave me a final kiss on the lips before she slid down my body. “But I’ll be here after work.”
I tried to hide my disappointment, but that was difficult. “Okay.”
“And there’s the weekend.”
“You’ll have a sleepover with me?”
“Yep.”
I could get on board with that. I grabbed her hips again and gave her a quick kiss. “I’m holding you to that.”
“I was hoping you would.”
***
Clay was my last task for the day, and it was seriously cramping my style.
I had a beautiful woman waiting for me. We could be in bed together right at that very moment, eating Chinese food out of the carton and exchanging stolen kisses under the sheets.
But I was working.
Clay worked out the math problems and got stuck on a lot of them. I quickly helped him, trying to get him through the work as fast as possible. I wanted this kid to learn, but right now, I wanted to make out with my girlfriend more.