by E. L. Todd
She couldn’t be more wrong. “I understand why you’ve drawn those conclusions. But no, that’s not true. That’s not at all how I feel.”
“Then explain it to me.”
“Explain what?”
“Explain why you had the most ridiculous reaction I’ve ever heard of. Explain why you savagely pushed me away like that. Explain why you treated me like dog shit and wrote me off as a mistake.” The frost melted, and her fiery gaze was back.
“I just…” I rubbed the back of my neck. “When I saw him kiss you, I snapped. I don’t know. I went on a rampage, and I couldn’t control it. I was out of my mind with heartbreak.”
“I can understand that. If you came to me and ended our relationship on those grounds, I would have understood. But you didn’t tell me anything, Volt. Who the hell does that? A child?”
“I don’t know why I behaved like that. I just did.”
“And that makes it okay?”
“No…but it doesn’t change us. It doesn’t change the fact I love you and you love me.”
“Love isn’t everything, Volt. There needs to be trust. We clearly don’t have it.”
“No, we do,” I said firmly. “We do. I just—”
“Volt, I really don’t have time to get into this right now. But even if we talk later, my response is going to be the same. Everything is different now. I can’t forget the way you hurt me. I can’t forget your maniacal reaction. I felt like I was talking to a different person.”
“But—”
“But nothing,” she said firmly. “I love you. That’s something that will never change. But this relationship isn’t what I thought it was.”
No.
God, stop.
Please.
“You don’t trust me. And I can’t be with someone who doesn’t trust me. Who would drag me through the mud like I don’t deserve an explanation. Your true colors came out last week—and they are too dark for me to handle.”
I hated this nightmare.
I wanted to wake up.
Wake up.
“Maybe you aren’t ready for a relationship.” Her voice faded away, becoming gentle once more. “Maybe you were never ready for one.”
“I’m ready for you. This isn’t just a relationship. This is the end for both of us. I’m the man you’re supposed to be with and you know it. And you’re the woman I’m supposed to be with. I can’t explain it, but I know. I just do.”
She looked away, her eyes brimming with tears.
“We’re supposed to end up together. I know you believe that.”
“I don’t know what I believe anymore.” She walked to the door.
“Come on, Taylor.” I followed her, unable to give up. “I admit I fucked up, but we can work past it. Just give us time, and we’ll make it through. That’s what people do in relationships.”
She opened the door and stepped into the hallway.
“Taylor—”
She turned around and silenced me with just a look. “This is hard for me, just as it’s hard for you. That week you wouldn’t speak to me was hell. I was confused, scared, and had no idea how to fix us. If I hadn’t played detective and figured it out with your dad’s help, I never would have known what made you so upset. And I would have spent the rest of my life not knowing what went wrong. Because you didn’t have the balls to tell me.”
I cringed at the blow.
“And that’s not what I’m looking for in a man. That’s not what I’m looking for in a partner. The second things got tough, you ducked out. You abandoned us. You didn’t try to work it out with me at all. You turned your back and took off.”
I wanted to deny everything she said but I couldn’t. That was exactly what happened. Instead of talking it out, I cut her out of my life. I could only imagine how that made her feel. “I know…but I know you’ll forgive me.” I believed she loved me, despite what she thought. And I knew she would come back to me. Because she couldn’t live without me as much as I couldn’t live without her.
“Maybe one day,” she whispered. “But today isn’t that day.”
***
“Holy shit.” Derek stared at me in shock, unable to believe what I just said. “That’s a lot of information to get in four minutes.”
“Help me.” I wasn’t above begging at this point. I would do anything to patch things up with Taylor. That woman was my life. I was worthless without her. My life was meaningless without her.
“You don’t need any help. Everything will be okay.”
“You think so?” I latched on to that statement, needing just to get to my next breath.
“Yeah. Think about it. You went on your rampage for a week. She deserves a week of being pissed off. Give it to her.”
“Yeah…I guess that makes sense.”
“She’ll wind down and calm herself. When she does, she’ll come back. Don’t worry about it.”
“You really believe that?”
“Absolutely,” he said. “She’s just mad right now. Can anyone blame her?”
No.
“This is how chicks are. Let them throw a hissy fit until they’re finished. Then you swoop in with flowers and a box of chocolates.”
When Taylor said it was over, it seemed like she really meant it. But then again, she was just angry. Everyone said things they didn’t mean when they were upset. She wasn’t any different.
“Trust me. Everything will be fine. Just give her some space.”
I nodded in agreement. “Okay. I think I can do that.”
“Just keep yourself busy for a while. That’ll make it easier.”
There was no distraction strong enough to keep me sane. She would be all I thought about until she was ready to talk again. But she deserved my patience, especially after what I did.
And I would give it to her.
Chapter Seventeen
Taylor
Sara kept pestering me about the drama with Volt, and I was forced to sit down and drop a bomb on her. I laid out the whole truth, telling her from the beginning to the end. I wanted to protect Volt’s reputation, but now I didn’t see a future for us. So what difference did it make?
“Oh my god.” She sat on the other couch with her blanket pulled over her legs. “And all of this happened last week?”
I nodded. “He saw Mr. Davidson kiss me, and he flipped out.”
“Wow…”
She didn’t know what to say, and I couldn’t blame her. It was the dumbest fight I’d ever heard of. It didn’t make any sense—which only made it worse.
“Why didn’t he tell you why he was upset?”
I shrugged. “I have no idea.”
“Did you ask?”
“Yeah. He didn’t have an answer.”
“That’s so strange to me,” she said. “That’s crazy because when Muriel left me, he did the same thing. Just refused to ever speak to me again without telling me why…”
“I don’t get it either. I walked away from Drew because I realized he wasn’t worth my heartache. He didn’t call me for a week after that anyway, so I knew he didn’t care about me. But if he cornered me, I would have told him the truth.”
“And I can’t believe Volt said all that stuff to you. He sounds like an ass.”
He was an ass. The biggest ass I’ve ever known. “But he wasn’t anything like that in our relationship. That week, he was a completely different person. He looked the same, but he wasn’t the same.”
“I’m so sorry, girl. I know you’re in love with him.” She gave me a sad expression full of sincere sorrow. As my best friend, she wanted me to be happy. Seeing me miserable like this hurt her as much as it hurt me.
“Thanks…”
“You won’t give him another chance?”
I shook my head. “For him to act that way…he has no trust or respect for our relationship. I can’t get over that. I can’t get over how savage he turned. I can’t get over the fact he just jumped to a conclusion without even asking me about it. What does tha
t say about our relationship? What does that say about his view of me?”
She nodded.
“And…” It was difficult for me to say what I had to say out loud. It was my darkest fear, something that would consume me if I thought about it too long.
“What?” she asked.
“That week we weren’t together, he was out of his mind. He was aggressive, mean, harsh, abrasive….just terrible. He treated me like garbage, like I didn’t mean a thing to him.”
Sara had already heard me say all of that but she listened quietly.
“Knowing how he is and who he was before we got together…” I didn’t want to say it. Once I did, it would be true. “He probably slept with someone—or several people.”
“You think?” she whispered.
I nodded. “With the way he was acting, I wouldn’t be surprised. He clearly had no obligation to me. He thought I was some whore that slept around. When I found out Drew was cheating on me, I immediately wanted to sleep with Volt. Wouldn’t he have done the same thing?” My heart broke at the thought, but I stopped myself from crying. I wouldn’t even let the tears form in the back of my eyes. “I know he wouldn’t cheat on me in normal circumstances…but this wasn’t normal. To him, we weren’t together. And I can picture him going out and hooking up with tons of different women just to make himself feel better.”
Sara pulled her legs to her chest and was quiet for a long time, clearly not knowing what to say.
Every time I pictured Volt with someone else, I wanted to die. And if he slept with someone else because he assumed I was with another man, that would just make it worse.
“Have you asked him?”
“No.” I was afraid.
“Why not?”
“Because I couldn’t handle his answer.”
“But you’re assuming he did something without having the facts. Isn’t that hypocritical? Isn’t that the very reason you’re mad at him?”
I couldn’t deny the observation. “Yes, it is hypocritical. But in this instance, it sounds like something that would happen. It’s plausible because of how insane he behaved. But if I ask him and he says yes…I’ll never be able to look at him again. I won’t be able to go on. I’ll break down and fall apart. So far, I’ve managed to keep everything together. But if I knew he was with another woman, kissed her and touched her, I’d never recover. It’s easier not having the answer than getting the answer I don’t want to hear.”
Sara didn’t challenge my statement and let the words die away. “So…you guys are really over?”
I hated this. I had woken up that morning thinking everything was perfect. But by the time I got off work, everything had changed. Volt had left me. He left me without giving me an explanation. And now there was no going back. “Yeah. We’re over.”
Keep reading for the shocking conclusion in Combust, Book 4 of the Electric Series.
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