‘Thank you?’ he echoed, his voice harsh and bitter as his cobalt gaze sliced through her.
She fought to keep her thoughts in order, to push away her own pain and to convince him that this was the only way. ‘Yes. Because you love family,’ she said simply. ‘Even your one foray into the world of film-making involved fatherhood. You once told me that your biggest desire was to become a father yourself, and I can’t take that desire away from you, Xenon. I just can’t do it.’
He was trembling as he caught hold of her. His hands gripped her arms and Lexi could feel herself trembling, too. His eyes were blazing blue fire and his skin seemed to stretch tightly over his tense face. For one split second she thought he might be about to kiss her. And if he did—if he did—then wouldn’t she inevitably come round to his way of thinking? Wouldn’t she weaken enough to let him convince her that their love was enough to sustain them, and they could forgo the family he had always yearned for?
But he didn’t kiss her. The look he subjected her to must have lasted only a total of ten seconds but afterwards she was left feeling as if a cold wind had whipped through her.
He let her go and she stumbled off to the bathroom, loudly locking the door behind her to make sure he heard. Terrified that he would come in and realise that her resolve was far less determined than her words would have him believe.
She still had the christening to get through. She still had to put on the lovely dress she’d packed specially, and do her hair, and make like it mattered. And even though nothing seemed to matter other than that the final curtain had come down on her marriage, Lexi knew that this day was important to Kyra and her family.
But she was sick with nerves as she emerged from the bathroom to find Xenon already dressed in a light linen suit, his face dark and unwelcoming. She wanted to say something—anything—which would make him understand that this was all for the best. She even tried to smile. ‘Xenon—’
‘Not now, Lexi,’ he iced out. ‘I’ve had about as much from you as I can tolerate this morning.’
And he slammed out of the villa.
She felt like a fraud as she slipped the dress on over her head, practising a happy smile in the mirror even though inside her heart felt as if it were breaking. Just before eleven, she walked outside, where the car was waiting to take them to the small church in Lindos where the ceremony was to be held.
Marina was just about to get in and she nodded approvingly as she assessed Lexi’s outfit.
‘You look very beautiful, my dear. Xenon has already gone down to the church and he is waiting for us there.’
He’s not waiting for me, thought Lexi grimly as the car pulled away, with the bright Greek sunlight bouncing off its polished livery.
The chapel was very old and so tiny that there was room for only twenty people, with the rest standing outside clustered beneath a canopy of olive trees which provided welcome shade.
Lexi was taken aback by the size of the crowd there. Not only was there a giant contingent of the extended Kanellis clan, but plenty of locals and tourists had also turned out to watch. There were cousins, uncles and aunts who seemed disproportionately pleased to see her again—but the only things Lexi could focus on were the forbidding features and piercing blue eyes of her husband.
She had to swallow the stupid sob which was rearing up in her throat, like one of those jungle snakes you sometimes saw on television documentaries.
Xenon stepped forward to usher her inside and she shot him an anxious look. ‘I’ll wait outside. Your mother says the church is only tiny.’
‘You will not. You will be by my side, supporting me as we agreed,’ he said. ‘And after that you can run back to your empty little life in England.’
The tiny church was cool and at any other time Lexi would have been blown away by its simple beauty and by the moving ceremony which followed. As it was, her emotions were in such turmoil that she could scarcely breathe. She kept thinking of the man beside her. She kept thinking about how hard it was going to be to leave. Last time she’d walked away she had done it because she’d felt as if she’d had no option—that she could not ruin the life of a man who so badly wanted a family of his own.
But this time, he had offered her an option—and she knew she couldn’t take it. No matter what he said now, she knew that he would go mad if their lives were to become one constant round of doctors’ appointments. And she would go mad if she had to live with the fear that one day he would feel deprived without a blood family of his own.
No. She was doing this for the best. She was doing this because she loved him and one day he would realise that.
There was much cheering and clapping as baby Ianthe began to squall with fury when water was poured over her head—and soon afterwards the convoy of cars began to make its way back up towards the Kanellis estate.
At the party which followed, Lexi stuck to water rather than the champagne with which everyone was toasting the baby. She hung back and waited until there was a lull in all the celebrations before she went over to Kyra and gave her the small package she’d brought with her from England.
‘What is this?’ Kyra began to unwrap it, folds of tissue paper falling away as she pulled out a delicate silver charm. ‘Oh, Lexi—it’s a unicorn! Did you make it?’
‘I did.’ Lexi smiled. ‘A mythical beast which was discovered by a Greek historian.’
‘Of course. Who else?’ laughed Kyra.
‘It means power and healing and renewal, among other things. I thought perhaps she could wear it on a chain when she’s older.’ Lexi looked up to find Xenon standing there and in that moment she thought that her heart might break in two.
‘It’s beautiful,’ he said, his blue eyes piercing into hers.
You’re beautiful, she thought. You’re beautiful and I love you but I can’t give you want you want. She stood up, taking in a deep breath as she drew him aside to speak in a low voice. ‘Xenon, I can’t stay any longer. It isn’t fair to any of us. I want to leave today—to slip away without too much comment.’
His mouth twisted. ‘You don’t imagine that your absence won’t be remarked upon? That you can just fly out of here without anybody noticing you’ve gone?’
She met his gaze without flinching. ‘I’m sure you can sweet-talk your way out of it. You’ve done it often enough in the past.’
His mouth hardened into a grim replica of a smile. Not this time, he thought. Not this time.
But while he might want her, he would not dream of stopping her. For what would be the point of keeping a woman who did not want to stay?
CHAPTER TWELVE
LEXI THOUGHT SHE’D welcome being back in her little Devonshire village. That she’d be relieved that her emotions were no longer spiking up and down, like one of those graphs you saw at the bottom of a hospital bed. Somehow she had imagined that life would resume a comfortable pace now that Xenon was no longer in it.
But she had been wrong.
She felt as if a giant light had been snuffed out, leaving her stumbling around in bewildering darkness. The daily routine she’d once loved now seemed empty; her days simply hours she needed to get through before she could escape to bed for yet another sleepless night. Even her jewellery making—something which had given her so much pleasure—now seemed to lack imagination and flair.
She found herself looking blankly at the crude pieces of silver and wondering what on earth to do with them. Where before she would have been bursting with ideas, her imagination seemed to have deserted her.
And she missed Xenon. She’d anticipated that; she just hadn’t realised how much. He had taken her back into his world and given her a glimpse of what life with him could be like and she had wanted that life back. God, she had wanted it. But she couldn’t have it.
She couldn’t have him.
She had left Rhodes with a heavy h
eart, having first crept into the sick room to kiss his sleeping grandmother goodbye. She’d said farewell to a frankly bewildered Marina, whose innate code of manners clearly prevented her from asking her why she was going so suddenly.
Xenon had kissed her lightly on each cheek just before he’d closed the door on the car taking her to the airport. And in a way, that had been almost worse than if he’d gone into a massive sulk and refused to say goodbye. But no, he had managed to don the suave cloak of civility. He had even managed to slant her a half-smile, though he hadn’t quite been able to disguise the furious glitter in his eyes. And Lexi realised that her last memory of the man she loved would be of him giving her the kind of cool kiss he might have offered some casual acquaintance he’d just met at a party.
The last thing she’d asked was for him to give her Jason’s contact details and, to her surprise, he had done this without hesitation. He’d explained that the vineyard was extremely remote and that her brother was taking a break from all electronic forms of communication, but that she could write to him there.
And Lexi had. She’d written several times. Long letters, which she’d tried to make cheerful—which hadn’t been easy, except for the bits when she told him how proud she was that he was turning his life around. That bit had burst straight from her heart.
The only things she received in return were a couple of postcards—battered old things which looked as if they had been taken when photography was still in its infancy. The messages they contained had been succinct but encouraging.
It’s GREAT!
And,
Best time of my LIFE!
Lexi found that she was longing to see him again and she told him so in her next letter, hoping that her motives weren’t selfish. That she wasn’t just wanting contact with him because her heart felt so empty.
One gloomy November evening, she had just poured herself a cup of tea when she heard the sound of footsteps on gravel, only this time she was paying attention and they were very definitely not the distinctive tread of her estranged husband.
She pulled open the door and for a moment she didn’t recognise the man who stood on the doorstep, a rucksack on his back, wearing a jacket which was way too thin for the inclement weather. His hair was bleached blonde, his skin deeply tanned—and he was fit and muscular. He looked like someone she used to know, but only vague physical traces of that person still existed.
‘Jason?’ Lexi blinked. ‘Jason, is that really you?’
‘Better get yourself a new pair of glasses, sis. Of course it’s me!’ Laughing, he dropped his rucksack and gathered her in a fierce hug.
‘You’d better come in.’
‘Just you try stopping me.’ And then he frowned. ‘Lexi, you’re looking awfully thin.’
‘Rubbish.’ She shut the door and smiled at him. ‘Have you eaten?’
‘Not since lunchtime.’
Over mushroom risotto he told her everything that had happened. How much he loved working outside, on the land. ‘But it’s more than that, Lexi,’ he said, tearing off a huge hunk of garlic bread. ‘Wine-making is so complex—and Greek wine has the potential to really do something spectacular in the marketplace—the way Australian wine did decades ago. And Xenon is pleased with what I’ve been doing. In fact, he’s offered to give me a permanent role in the family vineyards if I want it. And I do.’
Ah yes, Xenon. The one name she hadn’t mentioned. The massive elephant in the room as far as Lexi was concerned, although Jason clearly had no such reservations. He said his brother-in-law’s name with a mixture of loyalty, affection and the faintest trace of hero worship.
‘It was very decent of him to help you,’ she ventured.
‘Yes, it was.’ Jason’s silvery-green eyes—so like her own, only without the myopic tendencies—started shining with enthusiasm. ‘Without being too melodramatic about it, I owe him my life. If he hadn’t come and found me and plucked me out of the gutter, I don’t know where I’d be today.’
There was complete silence. With a hand which wasn’t quite steady, Lexi put her fork down on her plate. ‘What are you talking about? You went to him, didn’t you? You asked him for money because you were in terrible debt.’
‘Is that what he told you?’ Jason grinned and swopped his empty plate with her still almost full one. ‘The debt bit was right—but I didn’t ask Xenon for help. I think I was past the stage of knowing I needed it, when he suddenly appeared out of nowhere and told me he was going to give me one last chance to turn my life around. But that if I blew it, there wouldn’t be another.’
He finished off Lexi’s risotto. Then started talking about integrating into Greek village life and a young woman he’d met who now made such integration seem vital, but Lexi barely took in a word he was saying.
She didn’t understand.
Xenon had come to her and made it sound as if Jason was demanding financial help—and that he would withhold that help without her co-operation. But now Jason was telling her that Xenon had been the instigator. That he had gone to her brother and offered him a solution to his problem.
Why had he done that?
There was only one reason she could think of. The same reason he’d given her for wanting to stay married to her—childless or not. Because he loved her. Because he’d never stopped loving her.
Oh, God.
She made herself coffee and poured Jason a second glass of wine. ‘Do you happen to know where Xenon is?’ she asked casually.
‘Sure. He’s in Hollywood. It’s the tenth anniversary of My Crazy Greek Father coming up and there are loads of celebrations planned.’
Lexi chewed on her thumbnail. Athens would have been simpler and London simpler still. Hollywood seemed like a scary kind of place and one she’d moved on from a long time ago. And could she really risk making a transatlantic flight on the evidence of a single fact which might no longer mean anything?
She felt the twist of pain in her heart.
Could she risk not doing it?
With Jason sleeping soundly in the spare room, she tossed and turned all night, trying to reinforce all the reasons why it was best to leave things as they were. But the morning brought with it nothing but a burning certainty that she couldn’t let matters rest.
‘How long are you staying?’ she asked Jason.
He shrugged. ‘That depends how long you’ll have me. I’m not due back in Athens for a couple of weeks.’
She tossed him a spare set of keys. ‘Stay as long as you like. I have to go away for a few days.’
She could see the look of gratitude on his face and she guessed her offer was yet another mark of his successful rehabilitation. She would never have allowed him the freedom of her house before now.
She hadn’t booked a flight in a long time—actually, when she stopped to think about it, she’d never booked a flight for herself. Her management had always done it when she was in The Lollipops and when she’d been with Xenon, his private jet had always been at her disposal.
It was a fiddly business but she sorted out her ticket and all the entry requirements she needed to get into the US, and three days later her plane passed the giant Lego-like skyscrapers of Los Angeles, before coming in to land.
The palms of her hands were clammy and her stomach was tying itself up in knots. She hadn’t told Jason she was coming here and she certainly hadn’t warned Xenon of her plans. She wanted to see the expression on his face when he saw her again. She was scared that his love for her might have died. She was scared that he might now have considered himself lucky to have escaped from the prospect of a childless marriage.
She knew he always stayed at the hotel on Wilshire Boulevard owned by his friend Zak Constantinides, but, of course, all that could have changed. These days he might have changed his allegiance to one of the newer, trendier places on Sunset Bouleva
rd, which she’d discovered on the Internet. Nevertheless, she’d booked into Zak’s hotel, even if the room rates had made her eyes water.
She waited until she had taken her bags upstairs before she dialled Xenon’s number and her heart started pounding when he picked it up on the third ring.
‘Lex,’ he said, his voice sardonic and not particularly welcoming. ‘This is a surprise.’
‘Yes, I realise that. I want to... I wondered if we could have a talk.’
‘I got the distinct impression we’d said everything there was to say.’
There was no softening in his voice. Not a single hint that he was pleased to hear from her. She sensed that he wasn’t going to make this easy for her. She was going to have to face the fact that it might be too late. Please, God, let it not be too late. ‘Could we?’ she persisted.
‘Go ahead. Talk. I’m not stopping you.’
‘I meant face to face.’
‘You might have a little difficulty with that one. I’m in Hollywood.’
‘So am I.’
A brief silence followed.
‘What did you say?’
‘I’m in Hollywood. Actually, I’m in Zak’s hotel and I’m wondering if you are, too. Jason told me you were over here, so I made a stab at guessing where you’d be staying.’
‘Presidential suite,’ he snapped and cut the connection.
Lexi told herself she should have waited before calling him. She should at least have given herself time to wash the long flight out of her system. As it was, there was barely time to splash cold water on her face and brush her hair into some kind of order before she took the lift up to the penthouse suite.
The door was on the latch and she pushed it open.
‘Xenon?’
‘I’m in here.’
She followed the direction of the voice, her heart clenching at the sound of his forbidding tone. She told herself it was probably too late. Of course it was too late.
He was standing in the sumptuous main reception area—all glowing shades of gold and claret. Tulips the colour of burgundy added to the almost medieval feel of the room and, in complete contrast, Xenon added a note of dark formality. He was wearing a black tuxedo and the exquisite suit made Lexi feel like the hired help in her jeans and T-shirt.
The Greek's Marriage Bargain Page 13