by M Elle Kelso
“Well, it certainly would have helped. David needed her. She left him there just when the going got toughest.”
“Did she? Did she really leave? Seems to me he made it pretty plain that he didn’t want her there. He told her twice; and one of those times he told her in front of three of you. Not just ‘get out, C.J.’, you told me he told her to get out and not bother to come back. Ever. That’s the word that I think did it, Jared. Ever. That’s the word that would have sent me packing. And I’m a whole lot tougher than she is.”
“But he needed her. We all did. She was the one that kept us all organized. Kept our spirits up. Didn’t let us get stupidly maudlin every time he had any kind of a little set-back.”
“Did you just hear yourself?” She frowned at him. “He needed her. You and Blake and Kaycee and whoever else was around, needed her. Did any of you stop and think maybe she needed someone, too? Everybody was there for David. Who was there for C.J.?”
They sat, gazing at each other, the reality of what had happened tonight sinking in. While they were sitting there, the phone rang.
When Jared answered, he was surprised to hear Matt Hawkins' voice.
“Is everything all right, Matt? Is something wrong?”
“No, Jared, sorry to scare you. David’s doing great. He’s driving everybody in rehab nuts because he pushes himself too hard and he’s way ahead of their program. I think we’ve managed to slow him down a little. We finally had to tell him that if he didn’t let up, he’d hurt himself worse and then he’d never get to go home.”
“Well, I’m glad to hear that. When I heard your voice I just naturally assumed bad news.”
“Nothing like that. Why I’m phoning is to see if you can come a day ahead of time. I want to talk to you and Blake together. There’s something going on here and I don’t know how to handle it. You’ve known him for years and you might be able to steer me in the right direction.”
“Just let me check with my wife. I don’t think we have anything on.”
He covered the phone’s mouthpiece and explained the call to Annie.
“Of course, you’ll go. In fact, Kaycee and I will go, too. Might be something we could all help with.”
Turning back to the phone, Jared smiled as he thought about his wife’s reply. She was just like C.J., willing to help any way she could. Maybe she did understand how C.J.felt.
“Hey, Matt. I’ll be there. My wife, and probably Blake’s wife, will come too, just in case there’s anything they can do.”
“Great. I’ll let Blake know you’re coming. I’ll expect all of you in my office at ten. See you then.”
With that he was gone.
* * *
Blake noticed that David had the cell phone out again. It was turned on, sitting on the table that moved over the bed. While David was out of the room for his rehab therapy, Blake picked up the phone and pushed the redial button. The number at David’s ranch flashed up. He quickly replaced the phone, not wanting to be caught spying on his friend.
While he waited, he thought about C.J. He hadn’t seen her for a few weeks, and wondered if she had improved any. She had looked washed out and thin. Stressed out was probably a nice description. Maybe now that she was getting decent sleep and was probably eating better, she might be much better.
“Blake, I...”
Matt Hawkins surprised him totally, making him leap from the chair.
“Man, you know how to give a guy’s heart a good workout. Sorry, I didn’t mean to leap up like that, but my thoughts were miles away. I didn’t even hear you come in.”
“That’s all right. What were you thinking about?”
“Well, you’re going to think this is crazy, but I was worrying about C.J..”
“There’s nothing crazy about that. I’m worried about her, too. Has anybody heard from her lately?”
“Nobody. Jared and Annie were away for a few days. They just got home today. They’ll probably see her sometime tomorrow.”
“Not tomorrow. That’s why I wanted to talk to you. I called Jared and asked him to come a day early. I want to talk to both of you about something that’s bothering me. And Jared said both his wife and Kaycee will come, too. So there’ll be nobody there except Mac or one of the others, to keep an eye on her.”
“What’s bothering you?”
“Blake, have you noticed any little looks, or sighs, anything that would make you think David is regretting what he did to C.J. that day?”
“Hooh. Can’t say I have. Although...”
He broke off as he thought of the cell phone.
“What? Although what?”
“He’s taken his cell phone out of the drawer and turned it back on. It was sitting on his table. I decided to spy and see who he’d been calling. It was his home number. Maybe he tried to phone her.”
“Let’s hope so. He needs her, but even more than that, she needs him. I’ve seen lots of couples in this kind of situation, but I’ve never seen a woman who was as in love with her husband as she appears to be. What she did for him was way above the normal most wives would do. Yet she just pushed along, doing them all, and nobody thought to stop her and see if she needed something. I’m very worried about her. Because when David threw her out, he probably broke her heart.”
“If she loved him so much, then why did she leave? You talk about him needing her, but she left him, right when things got toughest.”
“She didn’t leave him, Blake. He threw her out. You heard him. There’s a big difference. He told her the one thing I think would send her away and keep her away. He told her not to come back. Ever. The state she was in by then, she was living on her nerves. That’s all it would take to make her go and stay away.”
“But she knew he needed her. Why would she suddenly decide he wouldn’t need her if she left.”
“You know, I keep hearing that. David needed her, David needed. What about C.J. What did she need? Did anyone ever ask her? Who was there for her?”
His question stunned Blake. As he thought it through, he realized that the first night, they had all come to the hospital to be with C.J., not because she needed them, but because it was what they needed to do for David. Over the days that followed, he and Jared had gradually dropped into a routine of being there alternate weeks. They both had families. C.J. had urged them to go back to their ranches to be around for their kids. At first they had refused to leave. Their excuse was that David needed them. That was why they were still taking turns being there. David needed them.
Matt was right.
Nobody had ever really been there for C.J. She had been there for them, keeping them together, sharing her strength with them. She was the one who was allowed in David’s room at any given moment and had seen him through every step of his recovery until he’d sent her away.
They had been limited to times assigned by the doctor, then they escaped back to their hotel rooms and peace. C.J. never had that. She’d been there for everyone, anytime they needed her. And she never complained. Never asked for time off. Never suggested she couldn’t handle everything that came her way.
Maybe it was because they hadn’t really known her. She’d been in their lives less than a year. And all of the time they’d known her, she’d been with David. Part of him. An extension of him.
His wife.
They had never had the chance to know C.J. on her own. They had never seen her as her own person. And when he looked at it like that, he realized Matt was right.
No one had been there for C.J..
Casper felt like another planet to C.J..
She sat in the restaurant, looking out the window. She was trying to eat well. She took the vitamins Doctor Collins had prescribed and she got the rest he had told her she had to have.
For the last month, her weekly appointments had been one big harangue after another. She hadn’t gained enough, she still had dark circles under her eyes. Lack of sleep? Certainly. And he wasn’t happy about her attitude.
What’s w
rong with my attitude. I’d think it was just about right for someone who is feeling lonely, cut-off, without a friend in the world. And just about right for someone who’d lost her husband. It would be different if I’d lost him to another woman. Then I could rant, rave and carry on. Let the world know I was angry.
But I’m not angry. It wasn’t David’s fault that he’d been in the accident. That he had lost the use of his legs. He was still alive. He had his friends. His job was there when he finally got back. It is his fault that I’m no longer there, but he made his choice. He was the one who threw me out.
What do I have?
I have this precious child inside me. The last thing I have that is part of David. The only thing I have left of him.
When she’d finished pushing her food around her plate, she paid her bill and left. She wandered over to the shopping mall across the street, found a newspaper box and took her paper to a bench in the mall. She still hadn’t found a place to live. She’d spent a month in a cheap motel, with a small fridge, a hot plate and a kettle for a kitchen. There was room for her few belongings here. And the monthly rate was as cheap as any she was finding for furnished apartments.
Maybe I should just stay where I am.
With that thought, C.J. dumped her paper in the garbage can and left. The walk would do her good, so she headed out toward the motel where she was staying, walking at a good pace, guaranteed to make her blood circulate.
This will keep Doctor Collins happy.
From his seat in a different restaurant in the same block, Mac gazed out the window, looking at his surroundings. He didn’t get to Casper often; it was usually Douglas or Cheyenne. But today, he’d needed a part for the car he was restoring and he knew he could get it here. Lunch in a restaurant was a treat. As he looked out at the buildings in this seedier part of town, he caught sight of red hair. Like his own, only darker.
He knew someone with hair that color.
He quickly dropped bills onto the table to cover his lunch and rushed to the door. For one heartstopping moment he couldn’t find her. Then he saw her emerge from behind a bus shelter.
He sprinted across the street, avoiding a car that didn’t have a chance to slow down for him, then bounded onto the sidewalk on the other side. He could still see that hair. And it was cut the same way, too. Just hanging to her shoulders. Everything about the woman he was following looked like C.J..
Except.
This couldn’t be C.J..
This woman was pregnant.
Not too far along, but definitely pregnant. He slowed to a walk, disappointed that he’d been wrong. Just as he was about to turn away, the redhead turned back toward him.
Thank God. Thank whatever deity kept me from turning too soon.
It was her. It was C.J..
She looked slightly better than she had a month ago, but she also looked like an expectant mother. Was it possible? He guessed anything could be possible. Maybe this was why she had looked so ill when he’d seen her last. Being in bad shape after David’s accident and expecting would do it to her. That must have been it.
She paused to look in a store window, then turned and resumed her walk. He continued to follow, not getting too close. He didn’t have to. That red hair was a little like following a beacon. She took corners he didn’t recall later. All he remembered was the plodding, unhappy walk of the woman up ahead.
When he had first met C.J., he’d been impressed by her vibrant nature. She lived life to the fullest and seemed to enjoy every moment.
But that didn’t seem to be her attitude now.
Mac kept her in sight, never getting too close. His own red hair was an inconvenience when it came to following people. He stood out in any crowd.
He saw the motel sign about the same time C.J. started across the street. She hadn’t checked for traffic, just walked off the curb.
Damned woman must be trying to get herself killed!
But then he noticed that there was very little traffic here. The streets were basically deserted. She had walked into the parking lot from the back, avoiding people and cars. He saw her rummage in her jacket pocket for something, probably the key. He had to get a little closer, risk being seen, but he needed to see which room she entered. Once he had the room number, he’d go talk to the manager.
Her room was on the second floor. Room 214. Okay. Now he knew where she was, he’d just go find out who she was. Because he was absolutely certain that she would not have checked in here under her own name.
“Sure, Mrs. Foster. You can keep it as long as you like. The rate won’t change, monthly is the best offer I can give you.”
The tired looking woman behind the desk looked up as Mac approached, indicating she’d be with him in a minute.
“That’s fine, I’ll change your card. You can sign next time you’re down here.”
As she hung up, she was pulling a card from the filebox in front of her. She wrote something on it, then returned it to its spot in the box.
“Need a room, sir?”
Mac was pulling his wallet from his pocket as she spoke.
“No, what I really need is information.”
He flipped his card case open to show her his Wyoming investigator’s license.
“I’ll help if I can. What do you want to know?”
“I just followed someone here and I need to know what name she’s registered under. The redhead that’s staying in unit 214.”
“You mean Mrs. Foster. She’s here by herself, although she is expecting her husband to join her soon. Her first name’s Cornelia. His is Ivan, I think she said.”
She was pulling the card out as she spoke.
“She’s from Douglas.”
She handed him the card as she spoke. Mac noticed that the address she had given in Douglas was the same one she’d had before she married David. And for the phone number, she’d given her cell phone. She could screen her calls, she didn’t have to answer anything she didn’t want.
“Was she calling from a phone in her room, or in the hall?”
“It’s in the hall. That’s one of the ways we keep our costs down. No fancy frills. It’s clean here, but cheap.”
“Well, thanks,” he peered at her name badge, “Mona. You’ve been a real help. I won’t bother you again.”
As he shook hands, he slipped her fifty dollars, small payment for the information he now had. It had been worth every penny of it.
Now he just had to figure out what to do with it.
Matt Hawkins wondered out loud why he’d ever bothered to become a doctor.
“David, on days like this, with people like you, I wonder how I could have been so stupid to want to be a doctor.”
He stood next to David’s bed, his hands on his hips and glared at his patient.
“You, of all people, should be smart enough to know that overdoing rehab was the one way you could buy yourself another week or two in that bed.”
David lay back on the raised bed, his head turned to the wall, wondering what had gone wrong.
All he wanted was to get out of here. Now. Away from all the sick people. The people who thought they had problems. Maybe they ought to try out his boots for a while. Well, maybe that wouldn’t work. He really didn’t need boots any more. Just something to cover his feet.
Shit. Why hadn’t he been happy with the progress he’d been making?
“Look, Doc, I’ve heard enough of your sanctimonious crap for one day. Just leave me alone, okay?”
He closed his eyes and turned away, hoping Matt would take the hint.
He never heard him leave the room, but when he checked a few minutes later, the doctor was gone.
“Damn. Why did this have to happen now?”
Listen to that, now he was talking out loud to himself.
He’d been so close to getting out of here. Away from all the do-gooders who insisted he had to know how to do all these things for himself from his chair.
He knew how. It was no different than whe
n he could walk.
At least that’s what he’d thought.
Until this afternoon, when he’d made a mistake and had fallen, catching himself with the arm on the same side he’d been shot. The muscle there must still have been a little weak, because when he grabbed for the bar, to pull himself back up, he’d felt it give. The pain was so intense that he’d let go, falling to the floor, scaring both his therapists. They’d immediately called for Doctor Hawkins.
Now, here he was, back in bed, with one, maybe two weeks off, until his shoulder healed.
“Damn, damn, damn!”
He pounded the wall above his bed with his clenched fist as he shouted, hitting the call button mounted there. However, it wasn’t the nurse that responded, but Matt who returned.
“You want something?”
David turned his angry gaze to the doctor.
“Yeah, I want out of here. I don’t want to have to stay for another two weeks until this,” he pointed at his shoulder, “gets better. I want out now. I want you to discharge me.”
Matt looked at him and wondered what he’d say if he knew that’s what he’d been thinking about out in the hall. Discharging him, sending him home with a full time nurse/therapist.
“David, I have to ask. Do you have a big enough house to have someone stay with you for a few weeks, maybe a month?”
“Sure, the house is huge.”
“Okay, here’s my plan. I’m going to release you next Monday. That’s three days. Gives the nurse I’m sending time to get her stuff in order.”
“Who’s the nurse?”
“Nina Roman. I’ll see she gets a one month leave of absence to do this. You will pay her and you will pay her well. Because by the time she leaves, you will be on your own and capable of doing everything you need to do for yourself.”
“Okay, and I’m going to get around how? That house I own is a two storey, lots of stairs, narrow inside doorways, and all of the bathrooms and bedrooms are on the second floor. You didn’t think about that, did you?”
“Actually, I didn’t have to. Your house has been ready for your return for nearly two months. There are ramps for both entries, the inside doorways are wide enough for your chair, there’s a chair lift on the stairs and there are safety bars in your bathroom. There’s even a special chair for you to use in the shower. Oh, yeah, the kitchen counters have all been lowered and the cupboards rearranged, so that you can reach the counter from your chair. There isn’t anything that won’t work for you.”