God School

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God School Page 3

by Scott Kinkade


  Ev did a double take. “Wait,” he said. “The Bethos?”

  Freya nodded. “That’s right, the god of Morovia. And he can’t wait to meet you.”

  The level of anxiety Ev felt at that moment could safely be described as nearly overwhelming. He was as nervous as he had ever been, and his feet felt like lead.

  Nevertheless, he managed to get himself moving into the President’s office. Unfortunately, his nervousness didn’t go away upon seeing Bethos. The President was certainly not what Ev had been expecting.

  “Hello, Ev! Come in, sit down.”

  Ev nervously did so. “Uh…hi.”

  Bethos reclined back in his chair. “Not what you were expecting?”

  He had to admit, “Well…not really. All the pictures of you are…” He didn’t want to finish that sentence, didn’t want to incur the President’s wrath.

  Bethos finished the sentence for him. “White? Tall? Long beard?”

  Ev nodded weakly, afraid that at any moment he would be struck by lightning.

  In fact, Bethos was not any of those things. He had skin black as midnight, he was about three foot six inches tall, and clean-shaven. He wore a burgundy suit and tie instead of a toga.

  He laughed at the massive historical discrepancy. “When I first became a god...” He turned to the bald, tanned man standing next to his desk—who was wearing a toga—and said, “How many years has it been, Ku?”

  Ku? The famous prophet who came from an unknown land and worked to spread the word of Bethos all those years ago? The day got more exciting by the minute.

  Ku said matter-of-factly, “Three thousand, one hundred and fifteen.”

  Bethos pointed to his servant with a thumb. “This guy keeps track of those things so I don’t have to. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. When I first started, the world wasn’t ready for a diminutive black god. So they made me a tall white guy.”

  Ev dared to speak up at that moment. “But…couldn’t you make yourself taller? You are a god.”

  Bethos shrugged. “What would be the point? To gain peoples’ respect? I’ve already got it! Everyone here has chosen to follow me out of respect. I have no reason to change my appearance now.”

  That made sense. Still… “But why don’t you appear to mankind and show them the real you?”

  Bethos explained, “Being a god isn’t about glory or vanity. We choose to remain in the shadows and help mankind from behind the scenes.”

  Ev was becoming more and more at ease around the President. “But mankind has fought countless wars because they don’t know what you’re all about.”

  “And whose fault is that?” Bethos said, maintaining his carefree attitude. “My man Ku laid it out for them a long time ago. Some of them called him a liar and claimed they alone knew my true nature.”

  Ev took the chance to ask the question he had always wondered about. “So where do we go after we die?”

  To his surprise, Bethos shrugged. “Beats me. We gods live forever, so even we don’t know. Some think there’s an ultimate god who resides over the afterlife. If you become a god yourself, you will likely never find out.”

  The thought was both encouraging and depressing. Ironically, if Ev indeed became a god, some answers could be forever denied him. Nevertheless, he thought it a risk worth taking. “Do you really think I can become one?”

  “Anyone can—and will—become supremely powerful if they stay here long enough. The built-up energies left over from the Big Bang will see to that. You’re probably already experiencing increased vitality just from being here a half hour.”

  In fact, he was. It wasn’t anything dramatic yet, but he did feel as though he had more energy. “Kinda feels like I just had one of those energy drinks.”

  Bethos pointed at him and smiled. “Exactly. The longer you stay here, the stronger you’ll become. However, it is our job to make sure you’re ready for godhood. As you attend classes and take tests, we’ll evaluate your progress. If we don’t feel you’re going to become a proper deity, you’ll be expelled. Sorry, but we have to be honest with you going in.”

  That scared Ev. “What will happen to me if I’m expelled?”

  “You’ll have to leave the Academy. Mostly likely you’ll end up going home.”

  Home? That scared him even more. “Professor Strong said you guys have been watching me. Does that mean you know what kind of home I come from?”

  The President nodded grimly. “That we do.”

  “Then you know home is the last place I want to go. That place can’t even be called a home. I’d rather take my chances with those fallen gods than go back there.”

  From behind him, Brandon replied, “All the more reason for you to succeed here.” Ev hadn’t realized he and Freya were still in the room.

  “But do you really think I can?” he asked, to no one in particular.

  “I think you have the determination necessary. Your high school GPA was quite good, so we know you can apply yourself.”

  Yeah, but apply myself to becoming a god? That’s something else entirely. Nevertheless, Ev said, “Well, I don’t want to go home, and I don’t want to be killed by…uh…what’s that group’s name?”

  “Zero Grade,” Freya replied.

  “Yeah. Them. I don’t want them sending any more of those refghasts after me until I can defend myself like the rest of you. So…” He took a deep breath, in case he found any arguments against what he was about to say. “I’ll do it. I’ll enroll here.”

  “Excellent!” Bethos said. “We’ll give you the paperwork to fill out, and then you’ll be an official student here. Now, other colleges have tuition—”

  Without thinking, Ev cut him off. “Oh, crap! I didn’t think about tuition. I have hardly in money on me. I was hoping to get a scholarship to whatever university I ended up attending.”

  “You didn’t let me finish,” Bethos said. “Other colleges have tuition, but not us. You can’t put a price on godhood, after all. We use our powers to keep the school running, not money, so you can rest easy.”

  Ev breathed the biggest sigh of relief of his life so far. “Oh, thank you, thank you, thank you.”

  Laughing again, the President said, “Don’t mention it, kid.

  “Now, there is one last thing I want to mention. You must eventually decide what kind of god you want to become.”

  “Yeah, this one guy said that to me. I really don’t know what I want to become god of,” Ev said.

  Freya said, “You have to become a god that can help people. We don’t allow our students to represent anything negative. With one exception, only Zero Grade has the gods of hatred, vengeance, death, etc. You must choose something positive to represent.”

  Ev remembered, “That Jaysin guy said you’re the god of love.”

  Smiling, she said, “Exactly. There is nothing more positive in this world than love. I answer the prayers of mortals that pertain to love. For instance, I generally give them subconscious guidance. If I feel the mate you’re pursuing is right for you, I’ll help you succeed. But if that person isn’t right for you, I’ll nudge you away from them. The receptionist, Aphrodite, helps me out with that. Just because you’re a god doesn’t mean you can answer every single prayer.”

  “But how do I answer prayers? Do I just put my head to the ground and listen or something?”

  They all laughed. “We’ll teach you how to do it,” Brandon said.

  Bethos said, “Just be thinking about what kind of god you want to become. Now, then—I think you should get settled in the dorm. I’ll leave that to you two.” He indicated Brandon and Freya.

  * * *

  Belial entered the castle’s war room, not looking forward to the business at hand. Word had already spread about his failure.

  The other members of Zero Grade were gathered around the round table. Ancient implements of death and torture hung on the walls, holdovers from the previous universe’s medieval period.

  “You are late, Belial,” Shinigami said
. As always, he wore a dark cloak and executioner’s hood that completely hid his features. His scythe was propped up against the wall behind him.

  Belial snorted. “We’re gods, you fool. We have all the time in the world.”

  “Give the man a break, oh god of death,” Quandisa said to Shinigami. The scantily-clad goddess of lust wore a purple g-string which had a thin veil going from the top to the bottom. Her chestnut hair was long and silky.

  The other goddess present, Hera, rolled her eyes at Quandisa’s request. “You want to give every reasonably good-looking man a break. Even after millions of years, your hormones still control you.” She wore gray and black chain mail armor, and her long black hair was greasy as opposed to Quandisa’s well-maintained locks.

  Belial sat down. “So you think I’m good-looking, eh, Hera? I’m flattered.”

  Hera’s eyes were suddenly ablaze with a very real fire. “Don’t provoke me, lout. I am the goddess of vengeance, after all.”

  “So you are, so you are,” Belial replied, only half-trying to appease her. “So, where are the others?”

  “The Flawless Few sent the three of us to assess the situation so we can advise them how to proceed next,” Shinigami said.

  Hera added, “And depending on your answers, we may have to let you go.”

  “I’m sure you’d hate that,” Belial retorted.

  “Oh, I love a man who can hold his own in an argument,” Quandisa swooned.

  “Getting to the business at hand,” Hera said, choosing to ignore the other woman’s seeming inability to take things seriously. “You twice let the sacrifice escape you. That is an unforgivable offense, in my opinion.”

  “Oh, please. Everything I do is an unforgivable offense to you,” Belial pointed out.

  Hera’s eyes flared up again, and she slammed a fist down on the table, causing a large crack to travel from end to end. It looked as if the two gods would come to blows.

  However, Shinigami spoke up. “Enough. You two have been bickering for thousands of years, and neither of you even remembers why. We are here to put out a fire, not fan a preexisting one.”

  Helial sat down. “Doesn’t matter to me what that hag thinks.”

  “I said, enough! You will each agree to a truce here and now.”

  Hera gave a sharp exhale. “Fine. I’ll agree to it if he will.”

  Belial said, “Hmph. Whatever. Truce.” He avoided making eye contact with her.

  “Good,” Shinigami said. “We can finally get back to the reason we came here. Hera is correct, Belial. Two times you have let the sacrifice escape.”

  Belial threw up his hands in exaggerated exasperation. Truth be told, he wasn’t too concerned about the situation. “What could I do? It was two on one.”

  Shinigami, however, wasn’t buying the excuse. “You are a proud member of Zero Grade. You should have been able to kill them both. Or did you think I wasn’t aware you had your refghasts to back you up?”

  Shrugging, Belial replied, “So he got away. He’s still not safe. Not from me.”

  “But now he’s protected by full gods,” Hera reminded him.

  “We are nothing if not patient. We’ll get another chance,” Belial retorted.

  “Another chance he says.” Hera rolled her eyes. “That chance, as you call it, may not come until after the candidates gain the power to oppose us.”

  Belial chuckled at her lack of faith. “Have you forgotten I already placed a spy inside the Academy? I’ve been informed there’s going to be a field trip soon. That will be our chance to make the mortal ours.”

  Shinigami contemplated this for a moment behind his hood. As usual, Belial could not see any expression he might be making. In fact, Belial had only seen the god of death without it one time.

  Finally Shinigami said, “What do you think, Hera?”

  The unattractive goddess smiled, revealing her missing front tooth. “I say we make this Belial’s last chance. If he fails, he’s out of Zero Grade.”

  “Agreed,” Shinigami said.

  “Thank you for your generosity,” Belial said with a hint of sarcasm. He didn’t like or even respect these other gods. The fact he needed their approval to stay in Zero Grade angered him. Nevertheless, they would have to acknowledge his greatness once he secured the last of the samples.

  * * *

  Brandon and Freya showed Ev to his new dorm room. Unlike the Academy’s metal corridors, which made the school look like a supervillain’s volcano lair, the dorm rooms were quite nice, filled with everything you would expect to see in a college student’s habitat. This particular one had a nice rug on the floor, an HD TV on the wall, a couch, a coffee table in the center, and even a pin-up poster of a woman Ev didn’t recognize. But it was the sunlight filtering in through the window that really made it complete. By now the sun had risen, and was warming the mountain in its glow.

  Soon his roommate returned from class, and Ev was pleasantly surprised to discover his identity: Jaysin Marx.

  “Ah, good to see you again. Hadda feeling we’d be meeting again before too long.”

  Brandon explained, “Jaysin needed a new roommate, and since you two had already gotten somewhat acquainted, it seemed like a good choice.”

  “No complaints here,” Ev said.

  Brandon said, “Good. We’ll be leaving you then. We have papers to grade.”

  “We’ll get you your course schedule later, Ev. See you in class!” Freya added.

  They left, leaving Ev and Jaysin alone. “So, what do you do for fun around here?” Ev asked him.

  Jaysin pointed to a blue and green rectangular device sitting on the floor. “I spend a lot of time on the PlayBox. I got some good games. I also watch TV when I’m not doing homework.”

  “Oh, yeah? What shows do you watch?”

  “I like Waltzing with Pseudo-Celebs myself.”

  Ev let out an audible groan. “I never saw the appeal of shows like that. Many of them aren’t even real celebrities. I haven’t heard of half of them.”

  Jaysin argued, “It’s not about the people. It’s about the moves. Some of those people can really surprise you with their dancing.”

  “How can they surprise me? I don’t even know who they are.”

  “Well, what kind of shows do you like?”

  Ev replied, “I’ve always been partial to pro wrestling.”

  “Oh, yeah? I used to watch a bit of that. Who’s your favorite wrestler?”

  “That’s easy: Murderous Mep.”

  Jaysin laughed. “Mep? That guy retired years ago.”

  “So? I still love seeing him hit opponents with the Mep Masher in reruns.”

  “Me, my favorite was always Jarm the Reaper. The Reaper’s Scythe is still the best finisher of all time.”

  “Jarm was pretty good,” Ev conceded. “But Mep will always be number one in my book.”

  “Can’t argue with that. You know, I think you and I are gonna get along just fine, Ev.”

  Chapter IV

  It didn’t take long for Ev to get his class schedule. His first class was World History, which he just happened to have with Jaysin who showed him to the auditorium where it was held.

  The professor was a god by the name of Ji Gong. He had long black hair and slanted eyes. On his desk sat a bottle of liquor. “The guy’s always drinking during class but it doesn’t affect him. Guess that’s just one of the perks of being a god,” Jaysin said. He sat to Ev’s right.

  “Good to know,” Ev said.

  A young woman sat down to Ev’s left. Jaysin greeted her. “Hiya, Maya.” Ev got the feeling that was the way he usually greeted her.

  She wore a white sweater and dark pants, with long black hair that covered a good portion of her face. Ev found her beautiful, if not exactly stunning.

  She quickly glanced at Jaysin, and then just as quickly looked away from him. “H-Hello, Jaysin,” she said nervously.

  “Maya, meet our new classmate, Ev Bannen.”

  She slowly
, cautiously moved her head to make eye contact with Ev. “Hi.” This seemed to be a very uncomfortable situation for her.

  “Ev, say hi to Maya…sorry, can never remember how to say her last name.”

  “Brünhart,” she said. The ü in her name made basically an eww sound. “Maya Brünhart. Nice…to meet you.” Ev wasn’t at all certain it was nice to meet him, judging by the anxiety in her voice.

  “You’ll have to forgive Maya. She’s shy.”

  “That’s OK. Nothing wrong with that,” Ev said. He looked at his watch. They still had another minute before class was due to start, and people were still filing in. “Where are you from, Maya?”

  She kept her eyes forward as she replied, “Stiftung.”

  “Stiftung,” Ev repeated. “Isn’t that the main island of the Murnau Islands?”

  “Uh-huh.” In fact, the Murnau Islands were made up of over a thousand islands. Stiftung was the largest island, in the center of all the others.

  Ev said, “I’ve never been there. Is it interesting?”

  “Not really.”

  Jaysin leaned in to whisper in Ev’s ear. “You probably shouldn’t talk to her about her childhood. Don’t know the details, but I hear she had it rough.”

  That was something they had in common, at least. Ev whispered back, “Oh, sorry. Thanks for telling me.”

  “No problem, mate.”

  Professor Ji Gong entered the room at took his place up front behind the podium. “I understand we have a new student today. Is Ev Bannen here?” Ev raised his hand, not wanting to make a big deal about it. “Welcome to my class, Mr. Bannen. Can I assume you studied history at your high school?”

  “Yes, sir,” he replied nervously. He still hadn’t gone used to the fact he was now addressing gods on a daily basis. He feared divine retribution should he answer their questions wrong. He knew it was an absurd notion—after all, he hadn’t heard of anyone getting struck down by a bolt of lightning so far—but still…

  “Good,” Ji Gong said. “Then you won’t have too much catching up to do. Let’s get started.”

 

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