So now Lewis needed to decide how to proceed next. Flowers when he visited Sophia later today, certainly. As well as speaking to her brother to make certain that Adam did, in fact, approve of a marriage between the two. Then what? Well a ring, of course. Though Guy was not yet wed, the Blackmore family's official betrothal ring would go to his wife eventually. Was there another family ring, perhaps? Lewis did not know so perhaps a visit to his mother before he went to a jeweler was in order.
Yes, Lewis thought to himself, finally feeling something close to happiness. That was the very thing! He had a plan. Now, all he had to do was secure the permission of the bride and he would be all set. Things were indeed looking up.
Tapping his fingers on his desk, he did not hear the first rap at his door. A second, far louder one drew his attention and Lewis looked up to see his brother, Guy standing there rather awkwardly.
"Crawford let me in," Guy replied, tossing his hat onto a chair. "I assured him that I knew the way to your study."
"You are always welcome in my home," Lewis replied as he rose. "Drink?"
Guy shook his head as he settled into a chair. "No, thank you. Far too early. Even for me." There was a grim look about him that Lewis did not particularly care for and once more, he went on the alert. "Besides, there is business we need to discuss and I should like a clear head about me for the matters at hand."
Lewis checked his pocket watch with a frown. "At this hour? It is unseemly, even for you. Not that I care, certainly, but it is unusual."
"It cannot wait." Guy shook his head and sighed. "Our distant great uncle such as he is, Ludlow Crew, also known as the third Earl of Hunterdon, has passed without issue."
Frowning, Lewis put his teacup back down. "Do we even know this Ludlow Crew? I confess that I have never heard of him."
"That is because he was a mere eighteen years of age when he passed, and never left Bedfordshire in the meantime. Not even to attend Eton." Something about Guy's demeanor was completely off this morning and it worried Lewis greatly.
"I am still not certain that I understand." For truly, he did not. If the man had passed, sad as it was, that was of little concern to Lewis.
Guy rose and began to pace. "That is because Ludlow had...difficulties. Not like Silas, but rather a crippling fear that prevented him from even going outside at times. It seems that our family tree is rather twisted when one gets right down to things. Before he passed, making Ludlow the earl, Ludlow's father Horace determined that should his son die without issue, the title would pass to our branch of the family. With conditions, unfortunately, including a great deal of input into who would be chosen to 'improve' the family bloodlines, to quote Horace in his will rather directly."
"I see." Lewis was beginning to get an inkling of the reason for Guy's visit and he had to confess that he did not much care for it.
Shaking his head, Guy moved to the sideboard and poured himself a liberal glass of scotch. Apparently he did need that drink after all. "You cannot possibly," Guy muttered darkly. "For Ludlow's father apparently knew about Silas and did not wish to saddle me with yet another estate to run. So you, my dear brother, are now the fourth Earl of Hunterdon. And with that comes not only an estate and enormous wealth and a country seat, all neat as you please, but a betrothal as well."
"What?" Lewis all but bellowed as he slammed his fist down on his desk. He had not lost control like this in years and it did not feel particularly good.
"And there is the part that I knew you would not like." Guy appeared very grim indeed, his mouth pressed into a firm line. "A messenger arrived this morning, along with the elder earl's solicitor. For some reason, likely because he did not think that his son could find a bride otherwise or because he did not approve of the women his son was courting before his death, Horace entered into a marriage contract with a local baron. The baron's daughter, a Miss Modesty Watts, was to wed Ludlow when they both turned nineteen. Now that Ludlow has passed, that contract falls to the new earl to fulfill, provided he is not yet wed. Which, unfortunately, my dear brother, is you."
Lewis shook his head adamantly. "No. I refuse. I refuse it all. The title, the fortune, the lands. All of it. I will not take a single thing from that man if marriage to a woman I do not know is a condition of the matter."
"It is not your decision to make," Guy replied evenly, though he had to be aware that Lewis likely wished to strangle him. "And even if it was, Father would not allow such a thing. Duty to family first, remember? He has already accepted the papers and is even now sending a messenger to the baron and his daughter welcoming them into the family on your behalf."
"I won't sign a damn thing. Family can go hang," Lewis snapped, pacing now himself. "I have finally found a woman I care for and who can see past my scars. We may not be in love, Sophia and I, but I have a chance of being happy with her, I think. She cares more about me than about what I look like." He swept his hand down over the length of his ruined body. "Can this Miss Watts say the same?"
Guy shrugged and looked away uncomfortably. "Likely not, but as I said, this is not your decision to make. It is the family's. We must do this. For if we do not, Father fears that people will begin to question why Silas was not chosen instead of you. He was seen in town yesterday after all, and all of Lord Candlewood's connections cannot make that completely go away, much as we might like."
Blind with rage now, Lewis could not think clearly, his brother's words ringing in his ears. Grabbing Guy's tumbler of whiskey, Lewis threw it against the wall, the crystal shattering into a thousand shards of glass that fell like shimmering rain over the carpet. In the distance, he heard the shuffle of feet begin. His staff, likely alerted by the sound of the shattered glass, would be here soon.
He didn't care. All he felt was a black sickness deep inside of himself, starting to gnaw at his stomach and eat away at his very soul. So much had been taken from him over they years. Valeria. His face. His body. His position at Bow Street. Why did fate have to be so cruel as to strip Sophia away from him as well? Why did life have to leave him the dregs yet again?
Marriage to a country miss he did not know and likely would not even like. Forced to give up Sophia for a title he did not want. Perhaps all those yeas ago, Valeria had the right of it after all. Would it not have been better to have run away and taken the risk rather than live out his life in misery? For that was what Lewis pictured a life without Sophia as being - one devoid of light and laughter, and yes, love.
The moment the words had sprung from Guy's mouth, Lewis felt as if he had been punched in the gut, the air whooshing out of his lungs. He might not have reacted, but he had felt the words like a physical blow just the same. And at the thought of a life without Sophia, Lewis had known. Despite his better judgment, despite his claims that he wanted just what Miss Modesty Watts was - a plain and simple sort of woman - in a wife, Lewis knew that he had gone and fallen in love with the most complex, confusing and damaged woman he had ever known.
Lewis was in love with Sophia. And now he could not have her. Not any longer.
"Get out," Lewis growled at his brother. "Get out now. Before I do something I shall regret." He gripped the back of his chair so tightly that his knuckles turned white and the wood began to crack under the enormous pressure.
"I am not to blame for this mess," Guy replied softly. "I am merely the messenger."
Lewis snorted angrily. "But you agree with him. Father. You believe this is for the best."
"For the family. Yes. I do." Guy picked up his hat. "In time, I am certain you will feel the same, Lewis. This is necessary. Especially if we are to continue to protect Silas. I am sorry, but that is the way it must be. It is even part of the reason why Father purchased your commission in the first place. So you would appear to be a true third son and not the spare. It was for everyone's good. Including yours."
"When has the family ever put me first?" Lewis snapped icily, rage all but blinding him, though he needed to say this now while he still could. "Everything
I have ever done in my life was at this family's behest, not for my own good of course but for the good of everyone else. All to protect the secret of Silas. I was only just born when he had his accident. I am paying for a crime I was not even truly alive to witness!"
"Accident or not, you know we cannot speak of this to anyone." Guy stood stiffly by the door. Crawford, Pilkington and several other members of Lewis' staff had appeared behind him, clearly ready to throw Guy out if asked. "You also know that the choice is not yours to make. Not in this family. It never was. I am truly sorry, Lewis. I wish there was another way. For I do believe that you do truly care for the girl. But it simply cannot be."
Lewis was silent for a moment, his heart and his head at war. It was a terrible, awful war, but a war just the same. There was also no way to avoid making a decision, one that would irrevocably change his life. He could run or he could accept his fate. There were only two options.
In his heart, however, Lewis knew that Guy was right. There was no choice. Family - first, last and always. It was the way he had been raised and he could no more turn his back on his family now than he could have run away with Valeria all those years ago. If he did, he would not be the same man that Sophia now cared for, and Lewis did believe that she cared for him in some fashion. Perhaps she could have even come to love him in time.
Changing in that manner was something that Lewis could not do to Sophia. He would rather break her heart now and continue to be the man she cared for than to change and take her away with him, all the while hating himself - and perhaps in time her as well - for the choice he had made. She had suffered enough. He would not be the second man to hurt her with such a betrayal.
Looking up, Lewis all but snarled at Guy, his eyes snapping indigo fire. "Fine. Go tell Father that I will do as he demands." Then he paused. "Are children part of this damned contract?"
For a moment, Guy looked surprised that Lewis would ask such a thing. "No. They are not. If an heir comes, however, I am certain Miss Watts' family would be delighted of course, but it is not a requirement of the contract, no."
"Excellent," Lewis growled back, his face a mask of determination. "For there will be no children. This shall be a marriage in name only, and if Miss Watts chooses to take a lover rather than remain a virgin that is her choice. But I will not touch her, nor she me. Therefore, any child she bears will be a bastard, so make certain all parties are aware of that small fact." He sniffed in disgust. "I am certain she will be thrilled that she will not have to lie with such a creature as me. For I cannot even fathom taking another woman into my bed other than Sophia."
Guy reached out to Lewis and then, clearly thinking better of doing so, pulled back his hand quickly. "Please, brother. Give this a chance. Give Miss Watts a chance. She might surprise you."
Pausing beside his brother as he stormed out of the room, Lewis glared back in defiance. The look must have been truly terrifying, his scar likely twisting into an ugly mask, for Guy drew back a bit, though Lewis was certain that he hadn't meant to do so. As a general rule, Guy never showed any sign of fear, no matter how terrified he might be inside.
"This is my choice, brother. Mine and mine alone. Make certain Father is clear on that point. He might force me to wed the silly chit, but he cannot force me to bed her. That is the only decision I seem to be allowed to make in this family and I shall make it with glee!" Lewis was roaring with anger now. "Also, make certain the chit in question is clear upon that point, as well so she doesn't get any fanciful ideas about our future together. We shall lead completely separate lives for I want nothing to do with the manipulative shrew or her conniving family. She might be a countess but she will never bear the future earl, at least not by my cock and my seed!"
Then he was gone, storming out of his library in a huff and leaving a stunned Guy in his wake. Lewis, however, did not care. There was now business to attend to and the sooner he got it over with, the better. Delaying any longer would only hurt both of them all the more.
Chapter Eighteen
"I am guessing that you and Lewis enjoyed a rather delightful evening at the Wofford's residence." Abby, who now confined to Reynolds House until it was time to depart for the country which would now likely be sooner rather than later, helped herself to another biscuit from the overloaded tea tray. She then gave Sophia a rather knowing look, as if she was well aware of what had likely transpired between the two last evening. "Adam tells me that the two of you were...alone...for quite some time?" She raised her eyebrows in Sophia's direction questioningly.
"There was a scuffle in the ballroom between Lord Underhill and Lord Waverly. As he has no doubt already informed you, Adam intervened in the hopes of settling matters quickly and quietly but to no avail. Lewis and I simply exited the room for a time." Sophia bit her lip. She hated lying to Abby but there was no doubt in her mind that anything she confessed to her sister in law would likely be relayed directly back to Adam. She was not ready for that - yet.
The truth was, Sophia had no idea how long she and Lewis had been in the conservatory. Close to an hour, if she had to guess. Since the papers that morning hadn't given details of the scuffle that had ensued and resulted in Lord Waverly being removed from the ball and both Lansdale and Underhill becoming fast friends on the spot, Sophia wasn't exactly certain how long the row had gone on or even what had transpired.
She only knew that when she and Lewis had finally returned, her gown and hair a bit mussed, Adam had merely pursed his lips and simply said that he was glad that Lord Blackmore had been kind enough to see to Sophia's safety during the melee. Sophia had been fearful at first, terrified that Adam would rebuke her in front of everyone, but instead, he had acted every inch the proper and polite gentleman and carried on as if he did not suspect a thing.
Which, given the way Abby was eyeing Sophia this morning, was most likely not true. Adam was no fool, and Sophia and Lewis had disappeared for an almost indecently long time. Given that only a few months prior, Adam himself had awoken half naked and about to be nibbled on by a hedgehog until Abby discovered him, her brother likely had a good idea what Sophia had been up to in her absence.
"He knows, doesn't he?" Sophia decided that she might as well ask the one person who would likely tell her the truth.
Abby twitched her lips. "He is a man with a recent penchant for appearing naked on estate lawns in the early dawn hours. What do you think?"
Sophia sighed. "He knows."
Nodding sagely, Abby took another biscuit and sighed in bliss. "Ah. There is nothing like Cook's Shrewsbury cakes, is there?"
"No, there is not," Sophia agreed. "But about Adam..."
Abby held up a hand, staying her. "Adam does not know, precisely, what you and Lewis might or might not have done last evening. Nor would he ask, for I can assure you that he truly does not wish to know the details." She shook her head. "However, that being said, he does have a fair idea of what you most likely have done, given his own recent bad behavior in that regard." Then she looked at Sophia rather pointedly. "So have you? For I do wish to know, if only so that I might advise you." She placed a hand over her stomach protectively. "I did the very same things, Sophie, and whatever details you choose to confide in me, I will not breathe a word of them to Adam. There are some things that brothers and husbands do not need to know. But if you need a friend, Sophie, please know that I am one. Or I would like to believe that I am, and that our rather memorable battledore game is now long behind us."
When Abby gently squeezed Sophia's hand, it was as if a weight had suddenly been lifted from Sophia's shoulders. For so long, she had carried around these secrets with her. Lewis had mentioned a sense of relied last night when he had spoken about Valeria. Would the same be true for Sophia if she finally admitted the entire, horrid truth about Alex? She could only hope so.
Letting out a long breath, Sophia licked her lips. It was time. If she was ever going to move on, to have this life she had begun to dream about with Lewis, she had to tell someone the
entire truth. And Abby would likely understand far better than anyone else. Even more so than Diana or Eliza. "You know what Alex did to me in that carriage, correct?"
Nodding, Abby settled back upon the settee, her teacup on her belly. "I do. I know that you made Adam promise not to tell a soul, but I am his wife. Your family. He told me. At least he told me most of the details, though I do still assume he spared me the worst of the matter."
"It was awful. Even now, I find it difficult to speak about that night, but as of late, I have come to understand that talking about such things is usually very freeing." Speaking the words aloud actually made Sophia feel a bit better. She now had some inkling of how Lewis had felt in the conservatory last evening. "After that night, I though I would never allow another man to touch me again. I couldn't even tolerate being in the same room as most men."
"I know." Abby sighed tiredly as she shifted in her chair. "We all watched you suffer, Sophie. We were also simply powerless to help you."
She shrugged and picked at a biscuit with her fingernail. "I am not certain that anyone could have helped me. Save for Lewis. He was there that night. He was the man who removed me from that carriage right after Alex defiled me. He saw everything, including the blood upon my gown. He knew. And yet he did not judge."
"That made him different in your eyes." Abby reached out and took Sophia's hand in her own once more.
"It did. So when Mama suggested this plot to save my reputation, I decided that I could tolerate Lewis being around me for a short time. At worst, the entire mess would be over soon enough and at best? I might be able to dance again. To have fun." Sophia sighed and looked away for a moment. "He, at least, was a man who had not betrayed me."
Now Abby smiled, that same knowing look on her face once again. "And you fell in love with him."
A Gentleman by Moonlight Page 23