The words were delivered without any emotion, and she shrugged like it meant nothing.
“Where do they plan to send you? St. Jude’s is a wonderful place.”
The look Darla gave me spoke volumes. “University. The doctor who’s treating me goes there, too.”
Instinctively, I tensed. University. Oh, they did good things. I’d arranged for a grant recently, and I had to admit, they were doing even more with that.
It was a lower-income hospital, though, and the desolation that ran through there was enough to bring even the most hopeful soul down a peg or two.
One of the reasons I’d selected University was because of those who were doggedly working to make it a better place. I admired them for it, and they planned to turn the place around, but that turnaround was still some months—or years—down the road.
The thought of sending a child there who was already alone made my heart hurt.
* * *
“You … I…”
I stared down the social worker, one Judith Davison as she continued to sputter our disjointed phrases.
I’d seen the woman who would become my foster mother cut people down to size often enough that I could imitate her, and I was doing my best impression of her now. Brow arched, gaze coolly polite … and uncaring. Sitting in the chair across from Edward Hall, I looked from him to Judith and then focused on Stacia. “Perhaps we’re wasting our time here, Stacia. Do you still have … oh, damn. I’ve forgotten his name. I had dinner with the CEO for Cooke County last fall. Do we still have his contact information?”
“Dr. Reynolds.” Stacia never batted an eyelash. “Of course. I’d already done preliminary research, if you recall. You were looking at several area hospitals before you decided to speak with Mr. Hall. Shall I reach out to Dr. Reynolds?”
“Ms. Cruise.”
For a beat of five seconds, I did nothing. Stacia and I simply stared at each other, and then, slowly, I shifted my attention back to the man sitting behind the gleaming expanse of polished wood.
Just looking at him infuriated me.
He’d approved that girl’s transfer.
I understood damn good and well that hospitals couldn’t work for nothing, but to transfer a girl who had no family, nobody, and nothing save a diagnosis of cancer, just sickened me.
“Yes?” I said, my voice so cold ice formed, then shattered.
“Surely there’s something we can do to—”
Leaning forward, I cut him off. “Something we can do to … what? Make me a little less infuriated over the thought that you plan to transfer an orphaned, teenaged girl in the middle of her cancer treatment, all because the beds here run more than what the state will pay? Are you losing too much money trying to give her a chance at life?”
“She’ll receive excellent care at University,” Judith said stiffly.
“She’s already receiving excellent care here.” I leaned back. “But…” I inclined my head. “Perhaps you’re right. Perhaps she could transfer to University. I’ve already arranged for an endowment there, but … well, let’s be blunt. University has a lot of people there who have made vast improvements in recent years. However, it’s not exactly a hopeful place just yet. The children’s department there is slated to be overhauled with some of the money they’ve recently received, but that’s months away. There is next to nothing for a sick child to do, very little in the way of books, hardly anything to keep her entertained. She’ll sit in a bed and stare at the walls while she waits to know if she’ll live or die.”
“That’s hardly—”
I cut Judith off. “Do you have children?” I demanded.
“I…” Her eyes fell away. “Yes.”
“Would you want your children there?”
“I…” She swallowed and looked over at the hospital CEO, who sat rigidly behind his desk. “Of course. They provide…”
“Have the decency to look at me when you lie.” I could hardly stand to look at her myself.
She swung her gaze to me, and her resolve crumpled. Slowly, she nodded. “I would rather my child be here. It’s the best children’s department in the region, one of the best in the country.”
Inclining my head, I asked quietly, “Why should a child with no parents or resources deserve any less than your child?”
Edward Hall cleared his throat.
I met his gaze.
“The girl can stay.”
I gave them both a terse nod. “Thank you.”
Stacia and I got up to leave, and once we were on the elevator, she looked at me, eyes wide. “Wow. Remind me to never piss you off, Ella.”
I huffed out a breath and rubbed my hands up and down my face.
“Reach out to Jisane Greer at University, would you? I want to up the grant I’ve given them—double it. But the extra funds are to go directly to the children’s department. Something tells me they get a lot of kids from places like this. I want them to have the resources they need to care for those kids.”
“Of course.”
Closing my eyes, I thought of Darla’s pale, sad, angry face.
This wouldn’t fix her. But at least she’d be someplace where she could play video games and watch movies and go outside from time to time.
I smirked, feeling sharp-edged and angry for some reason.
All the blood money I had in the bank, money I hated, sometimes it served a purpose. Even when I tried to get rid of it—all of it—it just multiplied.
* * *
I did something I’d never done.
I called Sean, simply to hear his voice.
I was feeling rather proud of myself for taking that simple step, even encouraged by it, because I was angry and frustrated and aggravated by the entire day, and the only thing that I could think of that would have made me feel better was seeing him.
But I wouldn’t be seeing him.
Not for two more days.
Hearing his voice would help, I told myself. So I called. Why not, after all?
I had his number because he called me all the time to let me know what we’d be doing … and sometimes to let me know what he was thinking about doing to me.
He came on the line, his voice tense. “Yes?”
“Ah … Sean, hello. It’s … ah, I mean…”
“Ella.” I heard him blow out a breath. “What do you need?”
“Well.” I felt stupid now. Stupid. Idiotic. Weak. “I’m…”
There was an edgysilence, and after a moment, Sean broke it.
“Ella, look, it’s nice to hear from you, but I’m dealing with something right now, so whatever it is … can you just get on with it?”
I swallowed. “Um, well…”
“Is something wrong?” he asked, his voice growing rougher.
“No.” Words clogged up my throat. Just tell him you’ll call back later, a voice prodded me. Tell him you’re sorry for interrupting and you’ll call back later.
I opened my mouth to say just that, felt my lips forming the words.
“For fuck’s sake, Ella, what in the bloody hell do you want?” he demanded. “I can’t always coax every last thing from you, all right? If nothing’s wrong and if you don’t need something, I have to go. I’m not exactly on the clock now, am I?”
Stung, I half lowered the phone. “No.”
“Right, then. Seeing as how you’re only paying me to shag you and not to hang ’round waiting for you to call at any moment, I’ve got to go. We can talk on Wednesday—”
You’re being an ass. Those words leaped to my lips, and I wished I could say them, wished I could tear into Sean, cut him down as easily as I had Hall and Judith.
Instead, I drew a cloak of ice around me. “Actually, Wednesday isn’t going to work, Sean. I have to cancel our appointment. As you’ve already cleared your schedule, feel free to consider it one of our paid appointments. There are only twenty-four left. Actually, twenty-two. I’ll be gone at least through Friday. I’ll be in touch.”
I hung up then
and gently laid the phone down, staring at it as though it might bite.
It didn’t bite, but it did ring.
Sean’s name came up on the display, and I stood up, turned the phone facedown on my desk, and moved over to the window. The phone went silent, but a moment later it chimed, letting me know I’d had a message. Instead of answering it, I called out for Stacia.
She came in, a smile on her face.
It faded when I glanced her way. “I’m going out of town for a few days. Can you clear my schedule?”
“Of course.” She hesitated a moment and then said, “You do have a meeting with the board on Friday.”
“Tell the board,” I said slowly, “they can kiss my fucking ass. I’ll meet with them in a few weeks.”
I hated that damn company anyway. There were only two reasons I hadn’t sold my majority shares. One was out of spite. The other was out of duty. To the woman who’d fought tooth and nail to hold on to the legacy others had tried to steal from me.
I turned on my heel as my phone chimed again.
Ignoring it, I headed into the large, lavish bathroom. I kept a change of clothes on hand here. Several of them, actually, and I wanted out of the suit I’d worn to the hospital, wanted out of the skin that defined Ella Cruise, heiress to a blood-stained fortune.
Chapter 4
There were few places where I felt at peace.
There was the brownstone.
Then there was the cabin.
I did love the house that Nora had bequeathed to me, but it held some tarnish. That was where she had brought me after …
My mind shied away from those thoughts, and I didn’t try to push at them. They were still an open wound, and behind that raw pain was the blank void, an absence of memories just as painful as knowledge itself.
While the house was home, it was also tied to pain, and sometimes I just had to escape.
The cabin was my escape.
Located in Michigan’s Upper Peninsula, it was simple and rustic and mine. It had belonged to my foster mother’s parents, and it was the first place she’d taken me when everything went to hell when I was a child.
After she brought me out of that hell.
Nora’s family hadn’t come from money. She’d married into it, and more than once she’d told me that money hadn’t made her happy. In fact, she’d told me that there was only one thing that had made her happy, and that had been me.
She’d kidnapped me—technically, she’d broken state and federal law when she’d taken me out of the hospital and brought me here, but she’d saved my life by doing so.
When she died, she’d left the cabin to me, and this was the one and only place where I felt completely and utterly safe.
Paul had accompanied me as far as town, but he would stay there.
Nobody came to the cabin with me.
When I was here, people knew not to call for anything short of a disaster, and as I had a very capable staff, I never had any calls.
Well, normally I didn’t have any calls.
Sean had called several times. He’d called several times yesterday and today, and I suspected he’d even call tomorrow. I was being petty and cowardly by not answering.
Sooner or later, I would have to talk to him, and he’d want to know why I wasn’t answering the phone or his texts.
What was I to say?
You were an asshole. I called to talk to you, and you jumped all over me, and I didn’t know how to tell you to stop. I thought we were friends, and you hurt me.
Yes, that would be lovely.
I wasn’t paying him to be my friend.
I was paying him to have sex with me, and that was the only reason why he was even spending time with me.
It was an ugly, bitter truth.
I was fine with the fact that I was paying him, mostly.
I wasn’t fine with the fact that the only way I’d managed to escape this awful loneliness was by paying a man.
I eyed the clock on the wall and judged that it was about time for the next attempt. I’d spent the past three hours debating whether or not I’d speak with him.
I’d read his texts. They ranged from teasing and playful to borderline rude. I could sense the frustration under the terseness, but still, it rubbed me wrong. He’d been a jerk, and he wanted to know why I didn’t want to talk to him?
I’d read them, then deleted them without answering.
When the phone started to ring, I closed my eyes and laid my head on the padded back of the couch. It was chilly and I had a fire blazing. Night was coming, and after this call, he’d probably stop trying, and I could—
“What?”
I had no conscious recollection of picking up my damn phone or even deciding to answer, but I had. Now, staring into the cheery flames dancing in the fireplace, I told myself I was an idiot, but I wouldn’t be an immature one. I wasn’t going to hang up on him.
“Well, well, well … finally decided to grant me an audience, Your Highness?”
“Sean, I’m busy.” I looked around the empty living room, eyed my wineglass that needed refilling and the plate of food I’d barely touched. There was a book I hadn’t even cracked open and a pad of paper I knew I wouldn’t use. “I’ve got a lot of things going on right now and several more matters to deal with before I can even think about sleeping.”
“Is that a fact?”
“Yes.” Lying came easily to me. It was a skill I’d had to learn if I wanted to survive, and although I didn’t enjoy it, I delivered the falsehood without trouble. “I do believe I told you that I was going out of town for a few days.”
“Oh, you did. You did at that.” He was quiet, but it was that intense sort of silence I’d come to associate with trouble—at least when it involvedSean Lachlan went. “Funny that you never mentioned anything going on that might mean an out-of-town trip, but what do I know of business? That’s not why I kept calling, though.”
I waited without saying anything.
“See, now. You’re going to make this hard on me, aren’t ya?” He sounded exasperated and amused, two emotions I seemed to inspire in him a lot. “Look … Ella, I was a bit of jerk yesterday.”
“Really.” Damn right I’m going to make it hard on you.
“Ella…”
“What do you want, Sean?” My voice was husky. The huge knot in my throat hurt when I finally managed to swallow around it.
“I told you,” he said, his voice level. “I was an ass. I apologize.”
Pushing up from the couch, I went to the door and moved outside. The serene blue of the lake was deepening under the spreading twilight of the sky and the air was cold.
I breathed that chill in and let it clear my head. “There’s no need. I disturbed you outside of our set hours and you were aggravated. It’s understandable.”
“Would you quit being so fucking formal, Ella?” Sean’s voice held a low growl now.
“I hardly see any reason to be otherwise.” Reaching up, I wiped at the damp track under my right eye. Just hearing his voice made me hurt inside. I thought about what Stacia had said. I fall in and out love … “We’ve got a business arrangement between us, Sean.”
“Business, Your Highness?” he asked softly. “It’s business, then, when you try not to laugh when I’m teasing you?”
Squeezing my eyes closed, I lowered the phone, thought about disconnecting the call.
I could do that, text him and let him know we were done—he could keep the money. It was even written into the contract that if I ended things, the money was his to keep.
“Sean, I imagine I’m hardly the first woman you’ve made laugh.”
“Well, you got me there. But I’ve got to tell you the truth, Ella. I can’t think of too many times when a woman’s laugh has gotten to me the way yours has. Your smile, the way you look at the world … and the fear I sometimes see in your eyes … I’ve got to tell you, Ella … that fear really gets inside me. It guts me, love. I don’t think that’s got much to do wi
th business.”
“I’m paying—”
“Oh, fuck that!” He cut me off, a thread of temper underscoring his voice. The raw edge of it came across the phone, hot and potent. “Ella, is it so fucking hard for you to let me apologize? I had a bloody mess on my hands yesterday, and I was trying to deal with it when you called. I’m sorry if I acted like an arse, but the truth of it is that I’m an arse fairly often. You can lie and act like I didn’t hurt your feelings. I’ll let you do it. But I had to tell you I’m sorry. I’m sorry I took my temper out on you.”
“Like you’re doing now?” The words escaped me before I could stop them, and the second they did, I realized that I was angry.
I never got angry. Fear was easy. I got irritated a lot. And … well, there were times that I got angry when it came to business, but I couldn’t remember feeling angry over anything personal.
Well, other than the things I didn’t let myself think about. But the truth of it was, I didn’t let things become personal. Not until Sean.
So instead of trying to take the words back, I pressed my lips together and waited.
Sean burst out laughing.
That only made me more angry.
“Ella, you’re the reason I’m in a fucking temper,” he said. “You ignored me all day, and now you’re sitting high and mighty on your throne, and here I am groveling at your feet, and you’ll barely speak to me. So yes … I’m taking it out on you because you’re driving me a bit mad.”
I opened my mouth to respond, but I had no idea what to say. None.
Scowling, I lowered the phone, stared at the surface, but there was no answer there. Finally, I put it back to my ear and said, “Sean?”
“Yes, love?”
“Sod off.”
Then I hung up and wrapped my arms around myself in an attempt to stave off the frigid air whipping off the lake.
Gripping my phone tightly in my hand, I told myself that I really, really should send Sean that text, tell him our business was done.
But I wouldn’t.
I knew I wouldn’t.
Chapter 5
“Tell me that you’re back in town.”
Thirty Nights with a Dirty Boy: Part 2: A Heroes and Heartbreakers Serial Page 3