“No! I’m just saying you might be reading something into how nice he is that isn’t really there. It’s easy to do when you like someone.”
“Wow. That’s depressing,” I said as we stood up to go in. I gave a frustrated sigh. “It just seems like … oh never mind. What does it matter anyway? I mean, there’s no way my mom would let me date him and it’s not like anything would come of it if she did. He’s probably going to end up playing basketball for some big college if he’s as good as rumor says, and I’ll just end up at any small school I can afford. It’s like I’ve always said - dating in high school is pointless and I don’t want anything to do with it.”
“Yeah, keep telling yourself that. You might start believing it again.”
I stuck my tongue out at her and we went our separate ways. I was grateful for the blast of cold air as I walked into the air conditioned hallway, but I felt a crusty film forming on my skin as my sweat dried. On the way to journalism, I stopped at a restroom and grabbed a few paper towels that I soaked with cold water.
Wiping my flushed skin down felt wonderful, but as I dried off with another paper towel, I realized that I’d wiped off any makeup that had survived my sweat. I didn’t keep any with me to repair the damage so I was out of luck. I could really use some powder too.
My skin was so fair that my cheeks turned red when I was overheated, and even after cooling them off a little they were still too pink. Wisps of hair that had escaped from my bun curled damply around my ears and neck, and the only way to hide them would be to take my hair down. Knowing that it would be frizzy from the humidity, there was no way I was doing that.
Class was about to start, and I was the only one left in the bathroom, so I allowed myself to sigh and slump forward over the sink. I reminded myself that I didn’t want to look fake and perfect like Jordan and all those other girls. I tried to brand the idea onto my brain, but then I glanced back in the mirror and cringed. What was so frustrating was that I knew that this self-doubt was all because of Lee.
Stupid guy.
Stupid me.
Being around Lee would be a lot more comfortable if I wasn’t so messed up inside over him. Maybe it was a good thing that taking pictures of the dance team would keep me out of journalism for a while today. It meant less time torturing myself.
The last three days of class, I’d had a constant conversation in my head, telling myself, “I don’t like him. I don’t want him to like me. It doesn’t mean anything when he smiles at me like that.”
Unfortunately, those smiles of his kept a persistent flame of hope flickering in my mind. I was also pretty sure that it wasn’t just my imagination that he watched me a lot and tried to sit by me whenever he could. It was really hard to convince myself not to be interested in a guy who was throwing signals like that – no matter how hard I tried.
If I thought there was any chance it could go somewhere good, I would surrender to it, but I knew there wasn’t. Besides, Marisol had just jolted me back into reality. What made me think he was treating me any different than the other girls?
I doubted Mr. Greeley would consider my problems an adequate reason for being late, so I grabbed my stuff and hurried to class. I had to check in with him and get a hall pass before I went to take those pictures.
With my fingers on the doorknob, I paused and braced myself to see Lee, even though the tardy bell was ringing. Bracing myself didn’t do any good though. When I went in, our eyes instantly met, like he’d been waiting for me, and his smile stole the breath I’d been holding onto.
I forced myself to look at Mr. Greeley who was digging around on his piled up desk for something. I took a few steps forward and said, “I’ll be on my way if you’ll give me a hall pass, Mr. Greeley.”
“Yes, yes. I’m looking for them. Ah, here they are.”
A moment later he handed it to me, and I saw that he had two. I was confused, but only until he said, “Lee wanted to come with you and learn how to set up group shots.”
I looked around for Lee and realized he was now standing right behind me. He reached around me for his pass, and his arm brushed mine as he pulled it back. Goosebumps broke out all over my arm, and I hoped that he’d think it was just from the air conditioner.
“I’m ready if you are,” he said, lightly. There was a question hovering in his expression as I hesitated.
“Yeah, let’s go,” I finally said, grabbing one of Mr. Greeley’s tripods as I moved back towards the door. He beat me there, and held it open for me from the inside. As he leaned over with one hand on the door knob and his back against the door, he took up a lot of room in the doorway.
I paused, wondering if he would realize it and move, but he didn’t so I turned sideways to go by him. I managed to get by without touching him, but I had angled my shoulders towards him instead of away so my face passed with inches of his and I caught an attractive hint of soap and cologne as I passed by. It reminded me of a forest after a rainstorm. But had he been able to smell me too? Since I’d spent lunch outside sweating, that wouldn’t be a good thing.
Out in the hall, I walked at a quick pace as I tried to ignore my reaction to him. Attraction was swirling through me, mixing with my self-doubt and determination not to fall for him. It was confusing the daylights out of me, but I was trying desperately to look as casual and unconcerned as he did.
“Can I carry something for you?” he asked after a minute.
“No thanks. I’ve got it,” I answered without slowing down.
He took the tripod out of my hand anyway, and I let him. “Thanks,” I murmured.
“Hey, are we in a hurry or something?”
I glanced at him and slowed my pace. “I guess not. They probably won’t even be ready yet, knowing these girls.”
“Well, let’s take our time then. I’m not in a hurry to get back to class. Are you?”
I couldn’t help returning the smile he sent my way. “No, though I don’t really enjoy this kind of photography.”
“Why not?”
“Oh, it’s just so formal and posed, you know? It’s important though, and it has to be done right or people get upset. You wouldn’t believe how hard it is to get a good picture of so many people at one time. There’s usually someone who complains about how they look, especially when it’s all girls – like today.”
“I would think girls would be easier because they like to get their picture taken.”
“Not really. Guys don’t care so much what they look like – or anyway, they aren’t so ready to think they look bad.”
“I see what you mean. Where are we going?”
“Out to the football field.”
As we got to the one of the exits at the back of the school, Lee held the door for me again, and this time I didn’t turn sideways because the doorway was wider. As my shoulder brushed against his chest, however, I realized I’d misjudged the space. “Sorry,” I said, turning back to apologize. As I did so, I managed to swing my camera bag right into his stomach.
“Ooof,” he said, bending down as he wrapped his free arm around his waist.
Had I really hit him that hard? He acted like it hurt. “Oh my gosh. Are you all right?”
He straightened up and laughed. Putting a hand on one of my shoulders, he shook me a little and said, “Man you should see your face! You really thought I was hurt, huh?
I didn’t know if I was more relieved or embarrassed “You punk. I felt really bad.”
“I could tell. Now, if you’d hit me a little lower, I might have been in trouble.”
“You’re going to be in trouble if you don’t stop messing around and come on.”
“From who? You couldn’t do anything to me unless I let you,” he taunted me.
“Oh yeah?” Hoping to catch him off guard, I swung my elbow back to hit him. He was half a step behind me, so it should have worked, but he caught my elbow easily and pulled me around to face him.
His mouth twisted into a half smile as he looked down at me. “Yo
u know, you’re cute when you’re mad.”
“I’m not mad.” To prove it, I smiled and started walking again. My smile may have been a little unconvincing however. Next thing I knew, he stepped on the heel of my shoe just as I took a step, pulling it off my foot. I turned back and glared at him. “Ok. Now I’m mad.”
He was laughing, but he still managed to fend off every half-hearted punch I threw at him, using the tripod as a shield. When I landed one on his chest, it surprised me that he hadn’t blocked it until he grabbed me with both arms and pulled me against his chest to stop me from swinging.
He still held the tripod in one hand and it pressed into my shoulder, but his other arm was firm around me. As I felt his solid chest against my hands and looked up to see his face, I realized I’d never felt so small and feminine before.
His eyes were teasing me as he asked, “What are you going to do now?”
I honestly didn’t know, since it was clear I wouldn’t get loose unless he let me. I didn’t have time to think about it much before we heard someone walking towards us though.
“What are you kids doing out here?”
At the sound of an adult voice, Lee let go of me and we stepped apart. Coach Hatfield was walking towards us, probably on his way to the football field. “We’re going to take pictures of the dance team,” I told him.
He nodded. “Oh, ok. You must be the ones I’m supposed to unlock the gate for.” His voice was curt, like he would rather be somewhere else. Luckily, he didn’t seem to care much that we’d been horsing around instead doing what we were sent to do.
“We’re coming, sir” Lee said. He glanced sideways at me and his expression was half apology, half amusement as he watched me put my shoe back on.
Quietly following behind Coach Hatfield, I was surprised when he turned around and asked, “You’re the girl who took the picture of Tyson that was in the paper Saturday, right?”
I nodded, amazed that he knew who I was. “Yeah, that was me.”
“That was great. It was a good story, and it got Tyson some exposure he hasn’t really had before. He’s got a few scouts coming to see him play over the next few weeks.”
“That’s awesome,” I said, hoping for more information. But Coach Hatfield just nodded absently. His mind had already moved on. I felt a little deflated until Lee smiled at me, like he was proud or something, and gave me a thumbs up.
Most of the dance team was already waiting for us at the gate, dressed up in their uniforms with pompoms in hand. When Coach Hatfield unlocked and removed the padlock from the gate, Lee pushed it open and held it for everyone to come through.
I came through last, eyeing the gate with suspicion. I still held a grudge against it for the embarrassment it had caused me at the game Friday night.
Mrs. Jenkins, the dance team coach, arrived a few minutes later, shepherding the last few girls in front of her. She looked a little frazzeled.
“Is everyone here?” I asked.
“Are there eleven girls?” she counted quickly. “Yes. That’s all of them.”
“Ok, let’s go,” I called to all of them. Some of them heard and moved towards me, but most of them were focused on Lee. He was talking to a few of the girls, and the rest were all trying to get in on the conversation. I groaned as I realized he was going to complicate this. I walked over to him and touched his arm. “Lee, can I talk to you a sec?”
“Yeah, sure.”
There was a question in his eyes as he followed me a few steps away, but I didn’t say anything until I was sure no one would hear me. “Look. If you’re going to be here, I wish you would help instead of distracting everyone.”
“I’m not doing anything,” he protested.
“Maybe you don’t mean to, but I guess you’re a distraction just by being here. I forgot the effect you have on girls or I never would have brought you.”
“All girls?”
“Every last one of them,” I grumbled. Then when I saw he was grinning at me, I realized I’d just included myself in this group. “Well, most of them. Now, since they’re all hanging on your every word, will you help me organize them?”
“Sure - just tell me what to do.”
“Move them to the middle of the field and line them up tallest to shortest. Then, I want the four tallest in the back, standing up. I want the next three tallest in front of them, leaning forward with their hands on their knees, and the last four in front of them kneeling on the grass.”
“Got it, boss.”
So, while I got my camera set up on the tripod, I watched as the girls followed Lee to the fifty yard line. He told them to line up according to height, and as they did so, he occasionally took hold of a girl’s shoulders to move her over a spot if he thought she was out of place. When they realized this, they all started changing places so that he would have to move them. Luckily, Mrs. Jenkins told them to cut it out and they stopped.
I thought I did a pretty good job of not looking jealous. At least I hoped so. I was working really hard at it, anyway. “Would you hurry up?” I asked, calling over to him.
“I can’t tell which one of them should be in the back row, and which one should move to the middle,” he called back, pointing to two girls he’d put back to back to determine who was taller. They kept laughing and moving so that he had to keep readjusting them.
“It’s not that big of a deal.”
“Fine. I thought you were a perfectionist.”
In a few more minutes, he finally had all the girls lined up right and I walked over to do the final tweaking. I scooted some of them closer together, angled shoulders differently, straightened hair or pushed bangs out of someone’s eyes. Finally, I had everyone posed perfectly, pompoms at the right angle in even lines with each other, and all heads turned towards the camera. Of course, that was only because I’d sent Lee back to the camera to check the pose through the viewfinder and make sure it looked good.
I went back over to look for myself, and he stepped out of the way. He moved about three feet away though and all heads turned towards him. “For heaven’s sake, Lee, stand next to me so they’ll all look where they’re supposed to.”
“No problem.”
He obeyed me literally, standing so close that if I moved at all, I bumped into him. I have to admit I didn’t mind too much.
“Ok, everyone, listen up,” I called. “Courtney, put your chin down a little. That’s it. Elise, turn your head more to the left. I’m sorry, blond girl on the bottom row, I don’t know your name, but can you sit up a little straighter? Thanks. Ok, now, everyone smile. On the count of three. One. Two. Three.” I took the picture and immediately called. “Don’t move! I’m going to take two more. Marta, your eyes were shut in that one. Try and keep them open this time.”
I ended up taking three more pictures of just the girls, then dragged a protesting Mrs. Jenkins into the pose and took two more. By the time we were done, everyone was relieved to relax and get out of the bright sun.
Lee stood waiting as I packed up my camera, and several of the girls stopped to talk to him as they passed by. He smiled and listened in his easy going way, of course, and the girls probably would have stayed there all day if Mrs. Jenkins hadn’t told them to get a move on so they’d have time to change before the period was over.
We were the last ones to leave the field, so Lee and I paused to put the padlock back on the gate before walking slowly back to class. After standing out in the heat for so long, I longed to find a water fountain somewhere.
Lee turned my attention away from my parched throat, however, when he said, “You’re really good at that.”
“Huh? Oh, you mean posing pictures? It’s not that hard when you’ve done it dozens of times. I have to say, it’s easier when the girls aren’t so distracted. Do you ever get tired of so much female attention?”
“Not if it’s from the right girl,” he answered.
Everything about him, his voice, his eyes, his expression, seemed to be trying to say more. I
stared up at him, knowing instinctively what he meant, but the logical part of my brain refused to accept it. It would lead to nothing but heartache for me. And what if I was reading too much into things, like Marisol said?
When I didn’t say anything, though I knew he was waiting for me to, he continued, “I’ve had to get used to it though. Girls just can’t seem to get enough of me.”
It was true, but I knew he was joking. “You’re pretty full of yourself, you know that?” I took a step sideways and bumped him with my shoulder. He didn’t move an inch, but I stumbled a little when he returned the favor.
“And you are way too modest,” he replied. “Maybe we’ll rub off on each other if we spend enough time together.”
“Maybe,” I said, purposely keeping my answer vague. As we walked back to class, we continued to talk, though I couldn’t have said what about later. My mind seemed more focused on exploring what he meant by spending time together. It could mean nothing or everything.
What did I want him to mean?
Chapter 4
The number of followers on my blog tripled by the following week. Word went around that there were more pictures of Tyson like the one on my poster, and soon all the girls in school were logging on to see them. By the following Wednesday, Tyson had a group of girls waiting for him at his locker every morning and they stuck to him the rest of the day. Every day he seemed to be more popular. I was super excited about this, but he wasn’t as enthusiastic.
“Thanks a lot,” he said to me as we passed in the hall one day.
Apparently, I had underestimated how annoying lovesick girls could be. It hadn’t taken him long to get tired of it. He’d enjoy his new popularity more when it calmed down a little though. In the meantime, I would take some of the focus off of him with a new picture.
I decided that since I’d had so much success with Tyson, I would do the same thing for Katie Edwards. So far though, I hadn’t had a good opportunity to take her picture. The last football game had been an away game, so I hadn’t gone. Luckily Mr. Greeley was friends with the journalism teacher from the school we had played. She’d agreed to get a few pictures for him, but that hadn’t helped me any. It had been almost two weeks since my last post, and my blog was losing momentum.
Candid (True Images Series) Page 4