“Good. Let’s get going.”
I took several shots of Will and Marisol, then of Parker and Alyssa. I moved everybody over by the rocks and took more couple shots and some individuals. Pretty soon, the others were getting a little bored and decided to climb the bluff to see the view from the top.
“Go ahead,” I urged. “I can use the timer now and get in some shots with Lee.”
When they were gone, I turned to Lee and asked, “Ready?” When he smiled and nodded, I got started. I would set up the shot, start the timer, and race over to get in the pose. During one pose that was similar to the one with Olivia, he said, “You know, this is kind of torture – the kind you enjoy but it drives you crazy,”
“Shhhh,” I said. “The timer’s about to go off.”
Because I was taller than Olivia, I didn’t need a rock to stand on to be able to lay my head against his shoulder. My forehead was just inches away from his neck and my hand was spread against his chest. He seemed to be breathing a little heavy, and when the picture had been taken, we were both reluctant to let go.”
“One more?” I asked.
He nodded, but said nothing. It was hard to read his expression, but I could sense emotions radiating from him.
I leaned back against a tall boulder and told Lee to brace his arms on either side of me against the rock. Then I said, “Ok, now lean in close like you’re going to kiss me, and stop just before you do.”
He didn’t argue. He was so close that his features began to blur and I unconsciously closed my eyes.
“Are you sure you want me to stop?” he whispered.
His breath danced over my lips, making me long for his kiss, but I said, “Yes. For the pose.”
I went a few steps away to where my camera was waiting patiently on its tripod, checked my settings and set the timer. “Ready?”
When he nodded, I pushed the shutter button and ran over to him. I pulled him back into our pose and listened to the steady beeping of the timer. In the last few seconds, it began to beep faster, warning that it was about to take the picture. My heart rate sped up with it, because I was getting a message from Lee’s eyes. I had no doubt that he was going to kiss me as soon as the picture had been taken.
I heard the last frantic beeps and the clicking sound of my camera taking the picture right before I was swept away in a tidal wave of emotion and sensation. Could that brief brush of his lips a few nights ago be called a kiss? This one seriously put that kiss to shame. It was so glorious to feel his lips on mine, that I couldn’t help feeling guilty.
“Lee! We can’t,” I said when I could bring myself to pull away.
“We are,” he said briefly before finding my lips again.
“I know, but I shouldn’t.”
He sighed and stood away from me, his arms dropping. If ever someone had looked frustrated, he did. He had every reason to, and I felt terrible because it was my fault.
I sat down on a rock and buried my face in my hands so he wouldn’t see the hot tears that were running down my face. I held my breath trying to control the emotions raging inside me, but soon my lungs demanded oxygen. I drew a deep, ragged breath that sounded suspiciously like a sob.
Then Lee knelt in front of me and firmly pulled my hands away from my face. “Don’t,” he said, roughly drying my cheeks with the palms of his hands.
“I’m so sorry,” I said, my voice thick. “I shouldn’t have asked you to do this. I just wanted to have an excuse to be close to you. I never meant for it to go this far.”
Lee laughed - a brief, almost harsh sound - before he said, “Sienna, you make it sound like a kiss is a terrible thing.”
“It wasn’t at all. It was perfect - except that my mom would be furious if she knew. It just all crashed down on me how I was betraying my mom’s trust.”
“Sienna, don’t you think that I’m as much to blame as you are? I knew where the line was, and I purposely crossed it. And to prove how depraved I am, I enjoyed every second of it.”
There was a hint of laughter in his voice that surprised a watery chuckle out of me. “You aren’t depraved,” I told him. “But you do tempt me more than I can stand.”
I stood up and paced back and forth. Lee stood too, but watched me with a grave expression. “What’s bothering you, really, Sienna? We can’t undo that kiss, and neither of us really wants to. But we can make sure it doesn’t happen again.”
This made me stop. “That’s just it. I want to be able to kiss you. I want you to hold my hand and hold me and know that I’m yours. It’s not fair to you either. I’m the one with the crazy mom, but you have to deal with it too.”
“If I want to be in your life, yes. She’s just trying to protect you, Sienna. I don’t agree with how she’s doing it, but I understand why.”
“You don’t deserve to have your senior year ruined this way.” Before I continued, I tried to be brave. But this was hard. “If you want to go out with other girls, girls you can date and kiss whenever you want, I’ll understand.”
“No you wouldn’t. Not really. If I were to date someone else, it would hurt you. You know why? Because these feelings between us are real. And I would never do that. I am not interested in you because I want to kiss someone. I want to kiss you because I have feelings for you.”
“I have feelings for you, too.”
“Well, I would hope so after that.”
He was teasing me, and I smiled a little to reward his effort, but there was a knot of unhappiness in my chest. “What are we going to do?”
“The way I see it, we can do one of two things. Either we say, to heck with your mom’s rules, sneak around behind her back, and risk hurting her and getting you in some serious trouble…”
I shook my head violently at this option, even though a part of me was hugely tempted by it. Hurting my mom and ruining her trust in me was out of the question though.
Lee continued “… or we remain friends, keep our hands off each other, and hope that she’ll change her mind when she knows she can trust us.”
“I don’t think that will happen. You see, my dad was a preacher’s son and the town’s poster boy for Christian morals. Then, one weekend, he and mom got in over their heads and before they knew what was happening, they’d gone too far. They didn’t tell anyone, but when mom found out she was pregnant with me, she expected him to own up to it. He didn’t. He put the word around that she cheated on him and that the baby wasn’t his.”
“What a loser.”
“I know. It was humiliating for her, and ever since then, she’s had real hang ups about it.”
“I can see why. I wish there was some way to convince her that I’m not like that.”
“But she says that no matter how good a person is, if the temptation is there, you never know how you’ll react to it.”
“Well, the way I was taught, you just make up your mind you aren’t going to give in to it, and stay out of situations where you might. It’s worked for me so far.”
“You mean, you’ve never…?”
Lee’s eyes met mine, honest and unembarrassed. “No, and I won’t until I’m married. For one thing, my mom would kill me and my dad would hide the body. For another thing, I’m not going to take a chance like that. I don’t want to hurt anyone, or screw up their future – and I don’t want anyone to do that to me either. And there’s a lot more that can go wrong besides getting someone pregnant.”
“My mom would love you if she’d give you a chance. She’s said the same things so many times, I’ve lost track. She just doesn’t think that anybody thinks that way anymore.”
“I was raised that way. Our parents would get along great. Hey… maybe that’s what we should do. Maybe if your mom got to know my parents, she’d have an easier time trusting me.”
“That would be awesome, but how?”
“I’ll think about it. Until then, let’s just relax. I mean, if worse comes to worse, we’ll be graduating in seven months and we can do whatever we want.”
“
That’s forever away.”
“I know, but it’ll go by fast. You’ll see.”
“Do you really think we can go that long without holding hands, or kissing, or anything?”
“Well, if we can’t, then maybe we don’t have enough self-control after all and your mom is right not to trust us.”
“This sucks!”
“Yes, it does, but maybe she’ll change her mind. Hey look, everyone’s coming back. Are you doing ok now?”
I nodded and took a deep breath to clear away the last of my depression. “Do I look like I’ve been crying?”
Lee nodded and I scrambled for Marisol’s makeup bag. A few touchups and a generous amount of powder covered up the worst of the damage. I thought I looked fine, but when the others got back, Marisol was looking at me oddly. She’d try to make me talk later, I knew, but I was grateful that she didn’t say anything right then.
“So, Sienna, didn’t you promise a picnic or something?” Parker asked.
“I didn’t promise. I just suggested it and nobody said anything.”
“Well, I’m starving,” he said, as if he expected me to do something about it.
I shrugged and was about to apologize when Lee said, “How about if we stop and get some donuts on the way back? My treat.”
Less than an hour later, everyone but me was scarfing down donuts in my mom’s living room. I was uploading the pictures we’d just taken and running them through Photoshop. I had shot in RAW so that I would have lots of control over the final product, but it took time and concentration to process them. After a little while, I was able to show most of the pictures to everyone. Marisol, Alyssa, and especially Olivia were thrilled with how great they turned out. The boys tried to hide it, but I could tell they were impressed too.
I hadn’t worked on the photos of Lee and I yet, and when my mom finally emerged from her room for the day, I was glad I hadn’t. I was able to show her all of our pictures and not worry about her seeing any that would get me grounded until the end of time.
“Wow, those are really great, honey,” she said. “That one of Olivia and Lee is really spectacular.”
“Yeah,” I told her, “Olivia is releasing an indie album, and this is going to be her cover.”
“Well, it looks like there’s a lot of chemistry between you two,” she told Lee and Olivia. Was it just me, or did she sound really hopeful?
I hadn’t said anything to Olivia about the weird relationship Lee and I had - I mean, it wasn’t an easy thing to explain, even to a friend. She seemed to have grasped the basics on her own though and she immediately said, “Actually, it’s just the photo. I didn’t think there was any chemistry at all. Right Lee?”
“There was zero chemistry,” he agreed, his eyes flicking anxiously to me.
I smiled to reassure him that I wasn’t worried. My mom clearly wanted to see Lee being interested in someone besides me. “Well, as long as it works in the photo, that’s all that matters.”
“I guess so,” she agreed, sounding disappointed. “So, what have you kids got planned for the rest of the day?”
I shrugged. As usual, my plans hadn’t gone further than my pictures.
“I have to go to work in a minute,” Olivia said. “I waitress at a diner downtown, and I have the lunch shift today. In fact, I’d better be going. Thanks again, Sienna.”
“No problem. I’ll email you the files for your pictures.”
“That’d be great.”
As she left, Alyssa and Marisol said that they’d made plans to go play paintball with Will and Parker. I raised my eyebrows at Marisol, who had never mentioned a desire to go paintballing. She flashed a smile at me and shrugged before glancing over at Will. This was getting serious.
“How about you, Lee?” my mom asked.
Lee glanced at his watch and said, “Well, I’m supposed to meet my Dad after lunch to help him with some yard work, but I was kind of hoping to hang out here until then.”
I was looking at him as he said this, and my lips parted in surprise. This was news to me. Knowing that my mom was unlikely to agree if I looked too enthusiastic, I quickly turned my attention back to my laptop to tweak another photo.
My mom hesitated before answering. “Don’t you have to go to work today, Sienna?”
I shrugged casually and said “Not till 1:00. Lee and I could work on the story for last night’s game. He hasn’t written it yet, and he needs to choose a couple of pictures for it.”
“Well, I guess I don’t have a problem with that. I’ll be in my studio for a little while. Oh, and Sienna, don’t forget you have chores.”
When she had gone, Lee said, “Nice. I’d forgotten all about writing that story.”
“Well, I had to think of something dull for us to do so she’d let you stay. Thanks for the warning on that by the way.”
His gorgeous smile flashed at me. “You don’t mind do you? Besides, I want your mom to have me around enough to realize I’m not a threat to her daughter’s innocence.”
I slowly ran my eyes over his male perfection and raised my eyebrows. “Good luck with that one.”
Chapter 11
Hits on my blog exploded over the weekend. I put up several gorgeous pictures of Marisol and Alyssa. From the comments the pictures were getting from kids at school, I was pretty sure they would be living in a new social strata from now on. I didn’t doubt that Marisol would handle her new popularity well, but I wasn’t so sure about Alyssa.
Parker hadn’t seemed too impressed with her after spending more time with her on Saturday. He said she didn’t have much going for her but a smoking hot body. From what I could tell, that was enough for most guys, but apparently not for him.
As I got ready for school on Monday, I tried to think of a girl I could set him up with. My conscience would feel better when he had someone other than me to be interested in.
I’d decided to lay off on the T-shirts a little, so I put on a pretty green blouse that I’d bought after work on Saturday. Marisol had followed through on her threat to take me shopping. I now had a new wardrobe and no money for the new lens I wanted. Looking in the mirror, though, it might have been worth it. A black headband gave some order to my hair style, and I borrowed my mom’s black, knee high boots. I must have gone crazy.
But I looked great.
I left for school feeling good about the day ahead, until my car died. Right in front of the school. With a line of cars behind me.
I got out and glared at the heap of junk. I knew that nothing short of divine intervention was going to get the thing running so I wasn’t sure what to do. I glanced nervously at the cars behind me, fully expecting the wrath of many to fall on me. To my immense relief, three or four guys got out of their cars to help me. I recognized one of them as one Brian, the school’s best running back. I wasn’t sure who his buddies were, but I was pretty sure they’d manage to move my car between them.
Sure enough, they put it in neutral and pushed it all the way into the parking lot, where they maneuvered it into an empty spot. They hurried back to their cars and the line got moving again. To say it was embarrassing to have the whole school driving by me and my pathetic car, whistling and cheering is an understatement.
Brian came back over to my car when he’d parked his truck and eyed it somberly with me. “It’s probably for the best. That thing should have been retired years ago.”
“Maybe, but did it have to do this in front of the whole school?”
“They usually die at the worst time – at least in my experience. Are you going to need a ride home from school?”
“Nah. I can ride with my mom.”
“Oh, right. Well, don’t worry about it too much. Maybe it can be fixed after all. Want me to look at it after practice today?”
I looked at him oddly, wondering why he was being so nice to someone he’d never said two words to before. I was about to tell him not to bother when I saw Lee coming towards us.
“Something wrong with your car?�
� he asked.
“It died out on the street.”
“So you were the reason for that mini traffic jam.”
“Yep. That was me. Luckily Brian and some other guys pushed it out of the road for me.”
Lee and Brian acknowledged each other with a frigid nod of their heads. Feeling awkward, I said, “So, anyway, thanks Brian.”
“No problem. Let me know if you wanna take me up on that offer.”
A strange look passed between the two guys like they were measuring each other up or something. Brian headed inside, giving us a backwards look as he went.
“So, what was his offer?” Lee asked, his voice cool.
What was his problem? “To look at my car,” I said, keeping it brief.
“Huh. Well, are you coming in, or do you want to say a few words over the dearly departed?”
With this flash of humor, I relaxed a little. “I guess I should just go in, huh? The last thing I need today is a tardy slip.”
After Lee and I went different directions, I hurried to my homeroom class. As I came into the room, I realized something. Practically everyone in the room was smiling at me, saying “Hey!” when I passed, or trying to talk to me about something. Sure a few people teased me about my car, but not in a mean way. When had everyone become so friendly?
I continued to notice this the whole week. Usually I walked quietly down the halls, focused on getting where I was going, and jumping if a locker slammed nearby because my mind was somewhere else. Now, changing classes was like a party I’d suddenly been invited to.
A small, annoying part of me liked it. Mostly though, I hated how easily everyone’s perceptions changed. And yet, that was exactly what I was counting on to make my plan work.
And it was working.
Marisol and Alyssa had both collected a following. Marisol thought it was hilarious and was enjoying every minute of it. She’d wink at me when she would pass me in the hall with her entourage. Alyssa on the other hand seemed to have forgotten that I was even alive. It was fine with me because she’d been Marisol’s friend and not mine anyway, but she was kind of doing the same thing to Marisol.
Candid (True Images Series) Page 12