by Matt Forbeck
Esprina had been dead for years. The last Kandler had seen of Ledenstrae, the elf had been lying in a pool of his own blood. Even if the healers of Aerie managed to save or resurrect him, he wouldn’t be around to help Espre through all this. Ever.
It was Kandler’s job.
Chapter
29
Espre giggled at Xalt. "You’re so terribly innocent,” she said with a smile.
The warforged stared at her with her unblinking eyes. "I have seen much of the world in my short time on it,” he said, "but I will never be as old as you.”
"You might live longer though,” Espre said. She adjusted her hands on the wheel and glanced up at the ring of fire crackling almost overhead. "No warforged has ever died of old age.”
"We are a young people,” said Xalt. "Time will answer many questions about us—in many ways.”
Espre nodded. "You see the fire,” she said, pointing up at the ring. "It’s alive, just like you and me. It’s been alive for centuries, maybe even eons. It’s impossible to tell.”
"Does it not remember?”
"Time doesn’t pass for elementals as it does for us. It hails from a plane of existence filled with nothing but fire and things to burn. Moons don’t spin around planets there. The sky never grows dark. The elementals live forever—or at least until they burn out.”
"How do you know these things?”
"My mother told me some of it. She was a battle mage, a sorceress of some power. I never saw her at war though.
"And the rest?”
Espre smiled. "The elemental tells it to me.”
Xalt’s mouth froze in confusion for a moment. "Does it speak to you?”
"Not with words. It’s more like it communicates with feelings instead, but they’re far more complex than what you’d expect from such a simple creature.”
Xalt craned his neck back to take in the semi-circular part of the ring of fire visible from the bridge. "It does not seem like something simple to me.”
Espre giggled again. "It is only what it is, nothing else. It is pure fire. It lives to burn. What could be simpler than that? ”
Xalt watched the ring burn. "It sounds . . . tempting.”
"I know what you mean,” said Espre. "There are many days I wish my life was a simple as that of the elemental that drives this ship, but it has problems too.”
"Like what?”
"The people who made this airship tore the elemental from its home and bound it to the Phoenix by magical means. Before that, it burned only for the sake of burning. Now it burns to go home.”
Xalt considered that for a moment. "Should we not release it?”
Espre shuddered at the thought. "Don’t you remember what happened with the other ship?” The image of the Keeper’s Claw exploding into a ball of fire hungry enough to consume a dragon flashed through her mind.
"We could abandon the ship and set it free. You’ve said before how hard the elemental has tried to crash the Phoenix. We could help it succeed.”
"What would happen then?”
"The elemental would be freed.”
"Then what?”
Xalt stopped and absently tapped the finger on his maimed hand to his head. "I don't know. What happened to the other elemental?”
"It died,” said Espre. "As powerful as it was, it couldn’t find a way back home. It devoured the dragon then burned out forever.”
"Can fire die?”
"Just like putting out a candle. One moment it’s there, and the next it’s nothing but a memory.”
"Do you want to die?”
Espre’s breath caught in her chest. "Sometimes," she said. "Mostly not.”
"Why?”
"There's nothing simpler than being dead.”
"I see.”
The two stood there in silence for a moment. Te’oma and Monja tended the roasting tribex, and the smell of the cooking meat made Espre’s stomach rumble. It would be ready soon, and she felt famished.
Out at the bow, Espre saw Kandler, Sallah, and Burch talking. They glanced back at her from time to time, but she could not make out their words over the roar of the burning ring of fire.
"Then why do you continue to live?” Xalt said.
A sudden urge to slap the warforged surged in Espre’s heart, but she put it aside. He was so young, and just as she had said, innocent.
"It’s complicated,” she said. "I may wish that I had the simple life of an elemental, but I do not. I am who I am, and I have to learn to deal with that—no matter how horrible it may be.”
"Is it so horrible to be you?” The warforged put a hand on the girl’s shoulder.
She refused to look at him, keeping her eyes pointed straight ahead. She saw Kandler and the others leave the bow and start toward the roast. She hoped that Sallah or Monja would come up and relieve her soon, as much so she could get away from Xalt’s questions as so she could fill her belly.
"It’s not easy,” she said, "not as easy as I would like, but it’s my life, and I’m not going to throw it away.”
"I understand.” Xalt’s tone said that perhaps he didn’t. Espre turned and offered the warforged a weak smile. "It’s not just stubbornness that keeps me going,” she said, "although that's part of it. I’ve thought more than once about tossing myself over the ship’s railing. In fact, when we crashed outside of Fort Bones, it was no accident. I flew the Phoenix straight into the ground. I wanted us to die.” "Perhaps it would have solved your problems.”
Espre snorted softly at that. "No. It would just have ended them.”
Xalt’s head bobbed. "I see.”
This time Espre believed he did.
The warforged gestured toward the roasting tribex. "I think your life is about to become more complicated.”
Kandler and Sallah broke off from the others, leaving Burch with Monja and Te’oma to start carving the succulent tribex.
"Yours too, I’m afraid,” Espre said to Xalt.
"We need to talk with you,” Kandler said as he and Sallah climbed onto the bridge.
When they’d been standing out on the bow and even next to the others roasting the tribex, they’d seemed much smaller. From atop the bridge, Espre had stood far taller than any of them. As they stood next to her, though, she couldn’t help but think how small she still was compared to them.
Of course, Esprina had been shorter than either Kandler or Sallah, and she’d been an adult too. Humans grew taller than elves. It was nothing to be ashamed of, but it still made her feel like a child.
"What is it?” she asked, keeping her voice even.
"Sallah here has made it clear to me that I haven’t been taking you much into account when making decisions for you. According to her and Burch—and probably everyone else on this ship who’s yet to weigh in with me—I need to start treating you more like an adult.”
Sprites danced in Espre’s stomach. She’d longed for Kandler to give her more respect for years, but she’d given up on it happening years ago. She’d figured she’d outlast him one way or the others, as was often the case with elves when they dealt with humans.
One time, when Esprina and Kandler had a spat, Esprina eventually gave in to Kandler’s demands. When Espre had asked her why, her mother had said, "When it comes to bickering over such petty matters, life is far too short—especially for him.”
With everything that had been happening, though, Espre had once again started to entertain ideas of Kandler treating her as an equal. While she wasn’t sure he was ready for it quite yet, the fact that he’d even been talking to someone else about it sent a thrill through her.
Then she turned suspicious. Why would Kandler want to start doing something like this right now? She’d hoped to be able to push her case once they’d survived whatever lay ahead of them. For now, though, she’d been happy to let Kandler make the decisions.
"Oh no,” she said as she realized what he was after. "No. You can’t do that to me.”
"Yes, he can,” said Sallah. "He needs
to. This is larger than him.”
"It’s larger than any of us,” said Espre. "Too large.” Kandler put an arm on Espre’s shoulder. She could tell he wanted to pick her up and hold her, but he’d kept himself from doing so. That would be what an adult would do for a child. If they were to be equals, they’d have to start treating each other as such.
"It has to be your choice, Espre,” Kandler said. "This is your life we’re talking about. You should have a say in how you want to live it. You know what the stakes are.”
Espre grimaced. "Do I want to live on the run for as long as I can, always looking over my shoulder, never sure when someone is going to kidnap me again or just slay me where I stand? Or would it be better to sail an airship straight into the collective maw of the most dangerous collection of creatures in the world?”
"That is an excellent summary,” said Xalt.
Chapter
30
Espre giggled at the warforged s deadpan praise at such a tense moment. She cut herself off an instant later, but not before she caught Kandler smirking at her just a bit too. Sallah, on the other hand, just looked annoyed.
"I wish to impress upon you how serious this is,” Sallah said, leaning toward the young elf.
"You don’t think I understand that?” Espre wondered if the knight had meant to be insulting.
"I don’t think Kandler has been as clear with you about it as he could. If you decide to sail to Argonnessen, you will surely be killed.”
Behind Sallah, Kandler shook his head and pursed his lips, "No.”
Espre suppressed the giggle tickling at her mouth. Sallah wasn’t so successful.
"Does he think I can’t see him?” Sallah said with half a smile.
"I have to put up with antics like that all the time,” Espre said.
Sallah’s face turned serious again. "This is why I suspect
you may not understand how mortally serious this all is.” The lady knight straightened up and pointed off to the southeast. "That way lies Argonnessen,” she said. "That way lies death.”
She turned toward the northwest. "In that direction lies Thrane. There we would have the whole of the Knights of line Silver Flame to act as your bodyguard. Jaela Daran, the Keeper of the Flame, will protect you and keep you from harm.”
Kandler tapped Sallah on the shoulder. "May I be allowed the opportunity to present my point of view?”
He spoke as politely as Espre had ever heard him, and this worried her. Kandler wasn’t much for manners. When he became polite, she knew something was horribly wrong. "I must add one thing first,” Sallah said.
The lady knight got down on one knee before the girl. As she did, she drew her sword and held it up before herself. The silvery flames flickered before her, and Espre could see the light from the blade reflected in Sallah’s emerald eyes.
"No matter what your decision, Espre, I pledge myself to your cause. I will not abandon you. Our fates will be intertwined. I say this so you know that I do not take your choice here lightly. I place my life in your hands, and I can only pray that you will choose what is clearly the correct path.” Sallah stood up then and resheathed her sword. "Look into your heart, Espre. You will see the Flame burning there, and it will light your way.”
Sallah snapped a quick salute to the girl then stepped aside, gesturing for Kandler to move up. He took one step forward and put his hands on Espre’s arms. Then he thought better of it and sat down before her. In this position, Kandler had to look up at Espre, and she found she liked it. She wanted to reach out and tousle his hair. The several days’ worth of beard he wore on his face ruined the illusion of him being a child though—that, and the few gray hairs she could see on his head from this unfamiliar angle.
Kandler folded his hands in his lap and spoke. He kept his words clear and distinct and his tone even and reasonable. Espre saw no drama in his presentation, just the facts as he saw them.
"I’ve been to Thrane,” he said. "They have good people there and bad. If the Knights of the Silver Flame say they will protect you, they will do their best. But they will fail.”
Sallah started to interrupt, but Kandler, Espre, and even Xalt cut her off with unforgiving glares.
"Thrane cannot hide you from the world. One way or another, Vol has been able to follow your movements. Majeeda did it too. Others—like the dragons or the Undying Court—will figure out a way. I’ve infiltrated Flamekeep myself.”
Sallah gasped at this news, but Kandler ignored her and pressed on.
"I trust that the Church of the Silver Flame will not give you up to its foes. It will do whatever it must to protect you, including go to war. If the church teaches its members anything, it’s to value their vows. I can see this breaking down in two different ways, though, and neither is pleasant. In the first, the people who want you dead send assassin after assassin to kill you until they succeed. They will have an inexhaustible supply of murderers willing to risk anything for the reward offered for your head.”
Espre put a hand to her throat.
"The second, sadly, is much worse. Some nation may decide that the assassins aren’t working or won’t work or are too damn subtle or whatever. It'll opt for the direct approach instead. They’ll send an army to Thrane for you. It’ll be war.”
"You really think they’d go to war over me?”
Kandler frowned. "Over what you represent. Remember, (he Treaty of Thronehold was only signed two years ago. Some nations didn’t want to sign it. They’ll take any excuse they can find to start the conflict up again. The reemergence of the Mark of Death, that’s going to be enough for them, especially if they find it in the custody of one of their foes.”
Espre felt her legs start to wobble. To think that something like the Last War—which had taken her mother’s life—could start up again over her made her think that perhaps she’d been too hasty with Xalt. Throwing herself over the gunwale didn’t seem like such a bad idea after all.
"I know, Espre,” Kandler said softly. "This isn’t fair. No one should have to shoulder something like this. No one should be expected to have to make these kinds of decisions, especially not you.”
Espre yiped at her eyes. She hadn’t felt any tears there yet, but she wanted to make sure. "What—and what if we go to Argonnessen?” she asked, her voice raw and low.
"I won’t lie to you,” Kandler said, his face grim and drawn. "Sallah’s right. It's probably death for all of us. Tactically, we don’t stand a chance against a continent full of dragons. Killing Nithkorrh, well, you saw how hard that was, and we got lucky. We can’t count on our luck to hold out for that long.”
"But it won’t mean war,” Espre said. "We’d be the only ones to die.”
Kandler nodded. "You never know. I’ve never been to Argonnessen. No one on the ship has, not even Burch.”
"I thought he’d been everywhere!” Espre said with a false grin.
It had been a long-running joke in Mardakine that there wasn’t a place in Khorvaire where Burch didn’t know someone. Of course, they weren’t talking about Khorvaire any longer.
"You would counsel your daughter to enter the darkness rather than face the light?” Sallah said.
Xalt spoke up. "To sacrifice herself so that others may live?”
Kandler craned back his neck and gave the knight a weak smile. "Didn’t think I had it in me?”
Sallah gazed down at Kandler, and Espre saw her love for the man shine in her face. The lady knight had done such a good job of suppressing that affection since she had declared her intentions to leave the Phoenix that Espre had begun to wonder if it had ever existed at all.
"I always knew,” Sallah said. "I just didn’t understand.” She reached down and placed a gentle hand on Kandler’s shoulder, and he reached up and covered it with his own.
"Well,” Espre said, bringing the eyes of the others back to her.
She saw the soft curls at the edges of their mouths now, and somehow she knew that everything would be all right—at least be
tween Kandler and Sallah.
"It seems the decision has already been made,” the young elf said. An enormous relief washed over her. The horrible choice that they’d placed before her had been removed, or so she thought.
Kandler grimaced. "Sorry, Espre, but it’s still your call. I just laid out the facts as I see them. Whether Sallah agrees with me or not, this isn’t something we’re putting to a vote. There’s only one voice that matters here, and it’s yours.”
Espre frowned. "That doesn’t seem fair.”
"It’s not. It’s not fair that any of this has happened to you—to any of us.”
"That’s not the point, is it?”
"You can only do what you can do,” Kandler said. "The question is: What would you like to do?”
"How very cryptic of you,” Sallah said. "You’d make a fine priest of the Flame, I think.”
"I couldn’t handle the vows of celibacy,” he said.
Sallah looked confused. "There aren’t any vows of celibacy,” she said as if the very thought were alien to her. "How do you think my parents had me?”
"I don’t know,” Kandler said, smiling at Espre, knowing that Sallah couldn’t see his face. "I’ve heard some religions going on and on about virgin births.”
Sallah smacked the justicar in the back of the head. "Hey!” he said with a mischievous grin.
"Excuse me,” Espre said before the two could grab each other and started rolling around on the bridge. "I have a decision to announce here.”
Kandler and Sallah fell silent and looked up at her with expectant eyes. Espre noticed that the chatter around the roast tribex had ceased too. Everyone on the ship waited to hear her speak.
When it finally came to it, Espre could hardly the name of their location out. Her lips seemed to freeze together, but soon they thawed and she spoke her mind.
"Argonnessen,” she said. "We’re going to Argonnessen.”
Chapter
31
It seems like they’ve been gone forever,” Espre said. She chewed on her lower lip as she stared out over the port railing of the bridge. "Should it take so long?”