by Camilla Way
Sighing, Viv obediently opens it to find a slice of something grey and crumbly inside. Gingerly she picks off a small portion.
‘Oh, don’t be silly, darling,’ Stella tuts. ‘Have more than that!’
Resignedly Viv takes a large bite. It has a texture that manages to be simultaneously slimy and dry, horrendously sweet but with a lasting bitter aftertaste. She swallows it, but can’t help grimacing. ‘Oh good God that’s vile!’ she says. ‘Ted, pass me my wine.’ She takes a large gulp.
‘Don’t be ridiculous, darling,’ Stella says crossly. ‘It’s delicious.’
Viv catches Samar’s eye and they both laugh. ‘It really isn’t, Mum, sorry.’ She puts the box down on the counter. ‘Come on, everyone, let’s eat.’
Twenty minutes later things seem to be going well. Ted is telling Alek all about his job in town planning, and Alek is making a good fist of showing polite interest. Cleo and Stella are laughing at Samar’s incredibly bad impression of Kim Kardashian, and they’ve all asked for second helpings of her pie. But she can’t help feeling slightly aggrieved that Stella has made no attempt to talk to Alek, and she sees how distracted and on edge he seems. She leans over and brushes his hand with hers. ‘You OK?’ she whispers.
‘Of course,’ he replies, frowning slightly. ‘Why not?’
Noticing that the others are watching, she smiles brightly. ‘Samar,’ she begins, ‘you must tell Alek about the—’ but before she can finish, Alek has reached for her empty wine glass.
‘I brought some Albanian wine for you to try,’ he says, abruptly cutting across her. ‘It’s in the fridge, let me get you some.’
‘Oh,’ she says, taken aback. ‘OK, thanks …’ she looks at the others, trying to hide her embarrassment. ‘Perhaps everyone else would like to try some too?’ she asks. ‘Why don’t you bring it to the table, Alek?’
But Alek is busy looking in the fridge and appears not to hear. ‘That’s OK,’ Ted says. ‘We’ve still got some of your delicious Sancerre. We can try some later.’ He smiles warmly, as if to overcompensate for Alek’s abruptness and she feels a sting of embarrassment. Aware her mother is watching her, she doesn’t meet her gaze.
The doorbell rings. ‘I’ll get it,’ Stella says, jumping to her feet. They listen to her talking animatedly to someone in the hall, and a moment later she returns with, of all people, Neil.
Viv’s heart sinks. ‘Hello, everything all right?’ she asks unenthusiastically.
‘Your poor neighbour has had a power cut,’ Stella tells them, adding dramatically, ‘his house is in complete darkness.’
‘I wondered if you were having the same problem,’ Neil says, apparently surprised to find himself in a room full of people. ‘But I, er, see you’re not.’
‘I said he should come in and join us for dessert and coffee!’ Stella tells her. ‘Come on, Neil, take a seat, there’s plenty of room.’
‘Er … I’m not really …’ Viv begins, horrified.
To his credit, Neil has the grace to look embarrassed. He starts to back out of the room. ‘Oh, no, no, I couldn’t possibly intrude. If I could just borrow some candles or a torch, I’ll be on my way …’
‘Nonsense!’ Stella says, pulling out a chair for him. She turns to Viv. ‘We can’t have the poor man sitting alone in a cold dark house, can we, darling?’
‘No, of course not,’ Viv agrees through gritted teeth. ‘Please do join us, Neil. I’m afraid we’ve finished dinner, though.’
Neil, still standing, says, ‘Oh, well, if you’re sure, I’ve got a cheesecake in the fridge, why don’t I fetch it? It’s the least I can do.’ Ignoring Viv’s remonstrations, he says, ‘It’s no bother! I won’t be a tick!’
‘I’ve made a bloody pavlova,’ Viv mutters under her breath, ignoring Samar’s snigger.
Neil returns a minute later. ‘Who’s for a slice?’ he asks. ‘It’s a good one, Waitrose!’
‘I’ll get some bowls,’ Viv says resignedly, standing up.
‘No, no. You sit down Vivienne.’ He presses his hand on her shoulder until she’s forced back into her seat. ‘I’ll sort it. Bowls in here, are they?’
They all watch as he starts dishing up, Samar barely able to contain his laughter as he fusses busily about.
Neil passes the first bowl to Viv. ‘Eat up, enjoy!’
When he’s served everyone else he sits down next to Stella and the two are soon deep in conversation, Stella laughing merrily, apparently oblivious to Viv’s attempts to direct her attention towards Alek, who has grown quieter as the evening has progressed.
When Alek excuses himself to go to the bathroom, Viv looks at Ted, who raises his eyebrows. ‘Bloody hell,’ he says. ‘He’s ridiculously attractive, isn’t he?’
She laughs. ‘I know.’ And then she says in a low voice, ‘But what do you think? Do you like him?’
There’s the briefest silence, before Ted says, ‘Well … he’s got that whole smouldering mysterious thing down pat, hasn’t he? I mean, he doesn’t give much away.’
Viv nods. ‘Yeah, he’s a bit quiet tonight. I don’t know why. Maybe he’s nervous.’
‘Well, I think he seems great, Viv,’ he says reassuringly. ‘Really nice chap.’
‘I think so too, Mum,’ Cleo says. ‘I like him.’ Viv shoots her a grateful smile.
When she turns back to Ted she watches him finish his cheesecake with a swell of affection. He seems chattier, more relaxed tonight, and it strikes her that she’d been wrong about him before. He is a kind man, she realizes now; just a little shy, that’s all: her fears that he might disapprove of her appear to have been groundless, and she feels a surge of relief.
‘Well,’ she says, looking around at their empty bowls and getting to her feet. ‘Why don’t we all go through to the living room? I’ll make some coffee.’
Cleo stretches and yawns. ‘Actually, I’m a bit tired, Mum, think I’ll just go up, read in bed for a bit.’ She kisses them all goodnight and heads for the stairs.
‘I’ll be off, too,’ says Neil.
‘Oh?’ Viv says drily. ‘So soon?’
‘Afraid so, better see what’s going on with my electrics.’
‘Let me see you out,’ says Stella warmly. ‘It’s been so lovely to meet you.’
Viv ushers the others into the living room, then returns to the kitchen to find Alek standing by the window, staring out at the garden. He turns around when he hears her come in.
‘Everything OK?’ she asks.
‘Of course,’ he says, passing over her glass. ‘Here, I poured more wine for you.’
She takes it from him and he waits until she’s had a sip before coming over and kissing her, his arms holding her tightly. She’s startled at this sudden show of affection after how quiet he’s been all evening, and after a moment or two she pulls away. ‘They’ll be wondering where we are,’ she says. ‘You go on through. I’ll make the coffee.’ When he leaves she picks up her wine glass and drains it, staring thoughtfully after him.
A few minutes later, Viv brings the coffees through to the living room and takes a seat. ‘Did I tell you that Alek’s an anaesthetist at King’s?’ she says pointedly to her mother.
Stella breaks off from her conversation with Samar and says, ‘Oh yes, I think you did.’ She looks at Alek. ‘That must be very interesting?’
‘Yes,’ he says. ‘It is.’
There’s an uncomfortable silence until Ted says politely, ‘Viv tells me you have a daughter, Alek?’
‘Yes, but she lives in Kosovo. I haven’t seen her for four years.’
Stella frowns. ‘Why not?’
There’s an accusatory edge to her voice, prompting Viv to cut in: ‘Mum, that’s none of—’
But Alek looks at Stella, his expression neutral, and replies, ‘It’s a long story.’
There’s another silence, and again Ted comes to the rescue. ‘Well,’ he says, ‘Samar and I have been talking about adopting one day.’
Viv gasps. ‘No! Oh, Sammy, you
never said, how fantastic!’
Samar looks a little taken aback but quickly recovers. ‘Well, it’s only hypothetical. I mean, we don’t even live together properly yet, but yeah, maybe in the future. It’s something each of us has felt we wanted for some time, even before we met, so possibly …’
He’s trying to play it cool, but Viv can see that he’s excited. Before she can reply, however, Alek says, ‘But priority will be given to heterosexual couples, no? It won’t be easy for the two of you to adopt?’
‘It’s become a bit easier the last few years,’ Ted tells him. ‘Samar and I will need to get married, and obviously we’re talking a bit further down the line, but …’
‘Yes, but it is better for the child if one parent is a woman, no?’ Alek persists.
This time Samar breaks the awkward silence. ‘Not necessarily,’ he says coolly. ‘A child just needs love, surely?’
Alek shrugs. ‘I think a child needs a mother, where at all possible. I mean, that is the ideal.’
Hurriedly Viv cuts in with, ‘Alek, I don’t think that’s necessarily true …’ but the damage is done.
‘Why?’ says Samar. He’s sitting forward, his expression frosty as he stares at Alek. ‘Why is that the ideal?’
‘I completely agree, Samar, it’s ridiculous to say two men can’t make good parents,’ Stella says stoutly, shooting Alek a disapproving look.
Before Alek can reply, Ted says, ‘Oh God, come on, everyone, let’s not get into this debate. Viv, did I tell you that Samar and I are thinking of Barcelona for our next trip? You’ve been there, haven’t you?’
But despite Ted’s valiant attempts, the atmosphere remains flat. Silently Viv curses Alek. She’d been so pleased to see Ted finally come out of his shell tonight, so touched at his efforts to put Alek at ease. His talk of adoption should have been cause for happiness – she was thrilled for Samar – but now Alek had put a dampener on it all. To make matters worse, Viv has begun to feel decidedly peculiar. ‘God, I feel like I’ve been run over with a steamroller,’ she tells them, her head in her hands.
Ted looks at her in concern. ‘Are you OK?’
‘You haven’t drunk that much, have you?’ Samar asks.
‘I didn’t think so, but …’
‘Oh, Vivienne!’ says Stella, despairingly.
‘Mum, I’m fine. I’ve hardly drunk anything. I must be coming down with some bug.’ She gets to her feet, and, picking up an empty bottle, says, ‘I’m going to take this out to the bin. I could do with some fresh air.’
But even outside in the crisp evening breeze the world continues to pitch and roll, and she begins to feel far worse. As she walks towards the bins she staggers a little. What on earth’s going on? She tries to remember how much she’s drunk, but even including the two glasses she had before everyone arrived, she’s sure she hasn’t had enough to be feeling quite so ropey. After all, she’s drunk far more in the past without any ill effects. She’s holding on to the bin, trying to steady her dizziness, when she hears the sound of Neil’s front door opening. ‘Vivienne?’ he says, coming out. ‘I saw you from my window. Are you ill?’
‘I’m fine,’ she says faintly as the world continues to slide first one way, then the other.
He comes closer, and when he clocks the bottle of wine in her hand, his tone alters. ‘Oh. Had a bit too much to drink, have we?’
‘I suppose I must have.’ She can hear her words slurring. She glances at his house, sees the living room light shining brightly. ‘Electricity come back, has it?’
His eyes flick away from hers. ‘Oh. Yes, a few minutes ago, actually.’
‘Well,’ she says, turning to go back into the house, ‘I’d better …’
But before she can move very far Neil comes and puts an arm around her. ‘Let me help you in. Can’t have you keeling over, can we?’
Viv pulls away. ‘I’m fine.’
‘Come on,’ he says cajolingly, his grip tightening. ‘Let me help you.’
‘Neil. Stop it, I’m all right …’
She’s interrupted by a voice behind her saying, ‘Vivienne? Is there a problem?’
Alek is at the front door, staring coldly at Neil.
Beneath Alek’s glare, Neil releases Viv and pulls himself up to his full height, which is at least three inches shorter than Alek’s. He gives a quick, uncertain laugh. ‘No. There’s no problem.’
‘Why are you touching her?’ Alek goes on.
Neil puts up a placating hand. ‘Look, there’s no need for that tone. I saw that Viv was feeling ill and I tried to help, that’s all.’
Viv says weakly, ‘I’m fine, Alek, honestly.’ She turns to go back in but stumbles and hears Neil make a disapproving tutting sound.
‘She doesn’t need your help,’ Alek says, staring coldly at Neil.
‘Alek,’ Viv says. ‘I said I’m fine, can you leave it now, please?’
At first Alek seems intent on standing his ground, but eventually he shrugs and goes back inside the house.
‘The new boyfriend, I take it,’ Neil remarks. ‘I hope your daughter doesn’t have to see you carrying on like this.’
‘Oh piss off, Neil.’
‘Charming!’
Tiredness weighs down on her so heavily that it takes everything she has just to stand upright, and anything else she might have said to him drifts away from her. Her mouth feels thick and slow. Without bothering to reply, she too goes inside.
Upstairs in her room, Cleo gets ready for bed. She can hear the low rumble of the adults’ voices downstairs, the occasional sound of doors opening and closing, and hopes that her mum is having a good time. It strikes her that, though she’d wanted to the other day, she still hasn’t told Viv about the letters she’d found in her grandmother’s bedroom. In fact, it seems ages since she confided in her mum about anything and the thought makes her feel a little lonely. She used to tell her mother everything. She will do it tomorrow, she resolves – and while she’s at it she will tell her about Daniel, too. It would be good to get it all off her chest. Feeling a little happier already, Cleo gets into bed and checks her watch: 10.40 p.m. Reaching over to turn her bedside light off, she closes her eyes and tries to sleep.
It’s ten minutes later when her mobile bleeps. Groping around for it on her bedside table she wonders if it’s perhaps a text from Layla – though it’s unusual for her to send one so late. Bringing it closer she blinks in confusion; it’s a message from a number she doesn’t recognize. And then she clicks it open.
Cleo, u there? she reads. It’s Daniel.
Her heart flips, and hurriedly she texts back. OMG r u OK? I’ve been so worried.
I need ur help. I’ve run away from home. I’m on the train coming to London.
She stares at her phone in shock. Right now? she asks.
Will u help me? I don’t no where to go. I had to get away from him. I really thought he was going to kill me today. I’m so scared, Cleo.
She sits up in bed. Of course I’ll help u. What should I do?
Can I come to ur house?
She hesitates. I’d have to ask my mum.
No! Don’t do that! She might say she has to speak to my dad first or something. He’ll come after me and kill me. Can’t u sneak me in for one night? I could sleep on ur floor. I promise I’ll be quiet.
She stares at the phone uncertainly. There’s no way she could explain everything to her mum now – she’d completely freak. But if Daniel’s dad has hurt him so badly he’s had to run away, then shouldn’t the police be involved? Again she hesitates, torn, but eventually writes, OK. She looks at the clock: almost eleven. The adults are still talking downstairs. What time will u be here?
I’ll text u when I get 2 ur street.
Hurriedly she gets dressed again and lies on her bed to wait for him, her phone on the pillow beside her, her heart thumping with worry, and it fails to register that he hadn’t even asked for her address.
When Viv follows Alek back inside the house, she finds
her mother, Samar and Ted standing by the window, looking at her with concern.
‘Where’s Alek?’ she asks.
‘I think he went to the kitchen,’ Ted tells her. ‘You OK? What was all that about with Neil?’
Viv sits down heavily and drops her head to her hands. ‘God, I feel wrecked. I really must be coming down with something.’ And it is the strangest feeling, she reflects; as though the world is slowing down, moving sluggishly around her. Even sound has begun to be a bit distorted.
Samar comes over to her. ‘Why don’t we stay and help clear up? You pop up to bed and we’ll bring you a cup of tea. You actually do look terrible.’
‘Yes,’ says Stella. ‘Good idea. I’ll tell Alek to go home.’
At this Vivienne looks at her mother. ‘What is it with you and Alek?’
Stella bristles. ‘Don’t be ridiculous, Vivienne.’ She sniffs then says, sotto voce, ‘There’s just something about him that I don’t like. Sorry, I don’t know what it is. I can’t put my finger on it.’
And at that moment Alek walks back into the room. He stands staring at them, his hands in his pockets.
‘We were just saying, Alek,’ Ted says pleasantly, ‘that as Viv’s feeling rough, we’ll stay here to see her into bed. Why don’t you head off?’
Alek walks over to Viv and looks down at her carefully. ‘I will stay and look after her. I think maybe you had too much to drink, yes?’
Samar clears his throat. ‘Listen, mate, she probably needs to sleep it off. Might be best to call it a night.’ The two men stare silently at each other for a beat or two.
‘Why don’t all of you go home, and I’ll stay here with her,’ Stella says decisively.
Viv gives an exasperated sigh. ‘Oh for God’s sake, everyone. I’m not some poor little flower who needs looking after. Mum, Ted, Samar, I appreciate the offer, but please, you can all get off. I’m tired, and a bit pissed. I must have drunk more than I thought.’ She manages a smile. ‘Honestly, I’m fine. I’ll give you a ring in the morning.’
Reluctantly they nod and after saying their goodbyes to Alek rather stiffly, they see themselves to the door.