“Where are you going?” asked Diane, curious as ever.
“Rome. I’m going to visit a friend for three days,” I lied.
Once again, I had betrayed my principles as I, Scarlett Lambert, never lie. It looked like John had unwittingly messed with my personal value system, since coming up with a reason for my trip happened quite naturally. I was almost convinced that I actually was going to Italy to visit a friend. After grabbing my ticket, I wished my colleagues a great flight and went down to Americair’s check-in counter.
With my boarding pass in hand, I then went through security. While walking down terminal C, I started doubting again, scolding myself, feeling guilty. Scarlett, do you realize that you’re going away with a colleague’s husband? Normally you’re a reasonably good person but now, well, you’re not being good at all.
I don’t want to feel bad for following my heart, which I have the right to do. But the situation is still very hard for me to accept. What if I really fall in love with John in Rome? Because, let’s admit it, the probabilities are incredibly high. Would I then be able to cut off all ties like Becky recommended? I didn’t dare answer that question.
I am now seated in gate C14’s waiting area and refuse to budge. I settled in on a seat far from the other passengers. This way, I can ponder away: Do I board the plane or not? With my legs shaking, I observe my surroundings. Among the crowd I find Italians. So many Italians. They talk loudly, are agitated, and seem unable to sit still even for a moment. What a surprise! For an instant, at the very least, they amuse me and allow me to forget about my concerns.
I turn my head toward the aircraft. My gaze quickly finds the flight deck. From my uncomfortable seat, I catch a glimpse of the open window on the pilot’s side. A light beam emerges from it, outlining a man’s profile. My captain is there, a few meters away from me. There are only hundreds of passengers, a desk, a ground agent, a bridge, and ten years of our lives separating us. I don’t know what to do. I won’t be over him after Rome. I can feel it. I’m absolutely convinced of it.
Boarding was just announced. A line of people makes its way down to where I’m sitting. I remain where I am. I’m not ready. I need more time to think this through. I’ve always dreamed of starting a family, having kids, and being with the same man for my whole life. Getting on that airplane tonight won’t give me any of that. How could I have thought I’d be happy in such a situation? Of course, I could go to Rome and make the most of John for three days. But then I’d come back a wreck. If I love him as much as I think I do, I’m going to ask for more. I will want him to be all mine and mine only. Yet being with him would also mean becoming a stepmother to the two children he conceived with another woman. I am obviously way ahead of myself. John, on his end, must only be thinking about getting in bed with me. Why can’t I, just for once in my life, think like a man and simply live, one step at a time? The ground agent is talking into her microphone.
“Ladies and gentlemen, this is the final boarding call for all passengers traveling to Rome on Americair flight 762. Please make your way to gate C14 immediately. Final call!”
I must hurry: What do I do? There’s no way I’m setting foot on that plane with this much hesitation. Knowing myself, if I’m not absolutely convinced of having made the right decision, I will end up ruining our adventure in Rome. Breathe, Scarlett, and close your eyes. Now I’m in the dark. Concentrate!
I am picturing our story. The story of John and Scarlett. I remember the first time I saw him in Costa Rica. He appeared so out of reach. I have wanted him since that very first day. A year and a half later, sitting in this airport, I can finally get what I wished for. I just have to board that plane to find out where destiny will take us. It’s time for me to trust in life. There’s no point in wanting to control everything, in knowing everything ahead of time just to try and protect myself. I have to live this story through to the end, otherwise I will regret it for the rest of my life. A woman’s voice is being heard again.
“We are asking Ms. Scarlett Lambert to please proceed to gate C14 immediately. Thank you.”
I open my eyes and look at the woman behind the desk. The waiting area is now empty. I jump up. My legs have become as strong as steel. My mind is clear. I am boarding this plane and no one can stop me. Nobody. I hand my boarding pass over.
“Ms. Lambert?” asks the ground agent, grabbing my ticket.
“Yes, it’s me, sorry for the delay,” I say, smiling.
“No problem, Ms. Lambert. The captain just advised me that he wasn’t leaving without you. Do you know him?”
“Yes, I do. We’re going to Rome together.”
About the Author
ELIZABETH LANDRY is a French Canadian writer and a flight attendant. In 2010, she created the blog www.lhotessedelair.com to write about her job at 36 000 feet in the air. It quickly led to a publishing contract with a major Canadian editor. Her work has since been presented in various TV and radio shows across Canada and France. CALL ME STEWARDESS is the English translation of the first volume of her successful trilogy.
To follow the author:
www.callmestewardess.com
Facebook: chroniqueshotessedelair
Instagram: @lhotessedelair
Her blog: www.lhotessedelair.com
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Call Me Stewardess Page 23