Summer Breeze

by Nancy Thayer

  They’d met at the university, and before long, they moved in together, sat on the sofa, legs tangled together, poring over chem texts.

  They knew they were in a growth industry. For better or worse, the world was speeding down a technological superhighway, tossing its waste out the window and forgetting about it. The potential dangers were stunning. It would not be politicians who saved the world, Morgan and Josh agreed, it would be the nerd with the clipboard and glasses who made sure that the masks protecting lab workers from formaldehyde were up to code.

  They were married right after Josh finished his PhD, and both took jobs outside Boston. Morgan worked in the environmental safety office at Weathersfield College, and Josh at one of the high-tech corporations on Route 128. They had tuition loans to repay, and Boston was an expensive place to live, so they decided to put off their dream of having a large family until they could afford a house.

  Accidentally, Morgan got pregnant. Don’t worry, she told Josh, I’ll work after the baby’s born.

  Then Petey came into the world, pink, perfect, helpless, infinitely precious.

  “Don’t go back to work, Morgan,” Josh had begged her. “You should stay home for a year at least. He needs you. He’s so vulnerable. He’s so—” Josh had choked back his emotion, unable to find the right words.

  Morgan had never loved Josh more than at that moment. “I know,” she agreed. “I don’t want to leave him. Not yet. But how will we make it financially?”

  Josh clenched his fist. “We’ll draw up a new budget and learn to economize. I’ll work two jobs if I have to.”

  Morgan had not asked him: If you work two jobs, when will you see your son? When will you see me? She knew Josh was doing all he could for them.

  Josh met Ronald Ruoff at an ecology conference in Chicago, and they hit it off immediately. Josh, with his big shoulders and blazing red hair, had a charisma about him, not a rock star dazzle that made people shy but a gentle charm and a way of listening that made people feel they were the fascinating ones. And it was the truth, after all, Josh did find people fascinating. He was not some phony jerk; he loved learning what made people tick, why they made the choices they made, what their hopes were for the future. Josh had a huge heart; Morgan knew that about him.

  Sometimes these days, though, she wondered whether that big heart had gotten buried beneath a pile of money. Sometimes she wondered if he’d drunk a magic elixir that transformed him from the man she loved into this superstressed, fast-talking, GQ-reading, clothes-conscious, Cadillac-driving, overworked, never-home executive who worried about his wife making contacts!

  Shoving her chair away from her desk, Morgan stalked out of her office—office, hah, she had an office but no job!—and down the hall to the living room. It felt good to walk, and their new house was so damned big she could get exercise just going from room to room.

  Be fair, she told herself. Remember your promise to Josh. He would be bringing in so much money they could pay off their tuition loans, put money away for Petey’s college, and still live well. Or, as Josh put it, live in style.

  Morgan had tried to keep her part of the bargain. She agreed with Josh to buy this contemporary house even though in her eyes it had all the coziness of a World War II bunker. The best part about it for her was the beach and the lake. Petey would learn to swim, sail, boat. They’d hike in the woods. The Amherst public school district was superb. Anyway, since when had she been so sensitive to the ambience of a room? When they lived in their rented condo in Boston, they’d joined their grad-student sofas and tables and used them, ugly, mismatched, but comfortable, and just perfect for life with a spitting-up newborn baby whose bowel movements mysteriously leaked out of his diaper.

  Morgan’s part of the job at Bio-Green, Josh had told her, was to make their new home stunning. They were to have lots of glam parties with new posh friends who would be so wowed by the O’Keefes’ sophistication and wealth that they’d feel blessed to be allowed to invest in the company.

  How to make their home stunning? Morgan had never considered such a project before. Morgan had thought of phoning her mother, because her family’s home was so handsomely decorated. Then she remembered how busy her parents were and decided not to bother them. She had shopped the way she lived—online, finding and pricing pieces of furniture before driving to the store to see them. It had been easier to do it on the Internet than lugging her baby in a pack. Immediately she’d decided against black and white; it had a cool look, but one leak from Petey’s diaper and the white wouldn’t have the same chic gloss. She’d found a deep smoke-gray sofa with matching chairs. Her genius touch was a chrome coffee table and chrome end tables. The entire living room gleamed softly, and worked perfectly with the floor-to-ceiling fireplace of variegated fieldstones.

  Was it too monotone? Morgan chewed on her fingertip, studying the room. One wall was all glass, displaying the lake. Couldn’t get better than that! Chrome lamps stood around, casting light, and she’d placed one large red vase (wedding present) in the center of the chrome table, then removed it because it appeared just too House Beautiful. This room needed something, though.…

  Just as a lightbulb went on in her brain, she heard Petey calling out, awake from his nap.

  Natalie opened her door, letting sunlight flood into the front hall. “Hi, Morgan! Come in! Hello, Petey!” She wore cargo shorts and a loose white shirt covered with a million dots and dribbles of paint. “I’m so glad you phoned. I’ve been working all day and getting nowhere but frustrated. Want a Diet Coke? Lemonade?” She took Petey’s chubby hand. “Graham cracker?”

  “He’s fine; he just had his after-nap treat,” Morgan told her. “And I came over to see your paintings again. I want to buy one.”

  Natalie looked staggered. “Man, I should have people over for drinks more often,” she joked, but her smile was uneasy. “Morgan. Listen. That’s really nice of you, but none of my paintings is ready to be exhibited yet. They’re all works in progress.”

  Morgan shifted her son onto her other arm. “I remember a large abstract of reds and blacks.…”

  Natalie shook her head. “I don’t think my real forte is abstract painting.”

  “I have to put Petey down someplace,” Morgan said. “He weighs about a hundred pounds. Can we go in your kitchen, give him a couple of pans and spoons and spatulas?”

  “Sure. Of course.” Natalie led them into the kitchen, and Morgan settled the little boy against the wall to stabilize him. “The floor’s clean. At least I think it is.”

  “Don’t worry. Petey hasn’t quite mastered the art of picking up crumbs yet. He’s better with big things. There. Anything rubber is good, because—”

  While Morgan was talking, Natalie squatted down and placed a pot and a big slotted spoon in front of him. Petey gave a macaw scream of joy and began enthusiastically banging the spoon on the pot.

  “Oh,” Natalie said. “I see why rubber is good.”

  They gave the child a rubber spatula, which didn’t interest him. Natalie took out a nest of Tupperware bowls and put them in front of him. Soon he was pounding on the Tupperware, which made much less noise.

  “It’s almost five,” Natalie said. “Glass of wine?”

  “In a minute. Natalie, I really want to buy that painting.”

  “You only saw it once.”

  “Then let me look at it again.” Before Natalie could respond, she said, “Petey, you play with Natalie. Mommy’s going upstairs just for a minute!”

  Petey had discovered he could hit the spoon on the tea tin, making a new noise. He didn’t even notice his mother leave the room.

  Morgan zipped through the house and up the stairs. She found her way to the room Natalie was using as a studio and entered. The still life remained set up on the easel. Morgan cast a quick glance at it, noticed how Natalie had softened the colors of the shawl, and felt a momentary twinge of guilt for intruding this way. Weren’t artists supposed to be defensive of their unfinished work? She
looked away, to the darker corner of the room where the pile of abstracts were stacked on the floor, leaning against the wall.

  She rummaged through the paintings, taking care to do so slowly, until she found the one she remembered. It was very large, perhaps four feet by five, an explosion of color. She pulled it out from the others, carried it over to the wall lit by sunlight, then walked away to study it from a distance. It looked like an erupting volcano, or an exotic blossoming flower, or a swirling gypsy skirt, or …

  She picked it up to carry it downstairs, and saw, on the back, a small white label:

  ROMANCE

  ABSTRACT IN OIL

  NATALIE REYNOLDS

  $500

  “Aha!” Morgan positioned the painting with the oil facing away from her body and slowly, step by step, went down the stairs, through the hall, and into the kitchen.

  By now, Natalie had joined Petey on the floor and added a red colander and a set of measuring cups to their timpani. Petey was intent on his hammering, crawling from one pot to another, and Natalie was hitting various items with a whisk while singing, “I don’t want to work, I want to bang on the drum all day!”

  Morgan set the painting on the floor, shoved her hand into her pants pocket, and yanked out her cell phone. She took a video of the pair, and just in time, because Natalie looked up and saw her.

  Natalie stood up. “My ears are ringing. Don’t tell me you got us on video.”

  “And it’s going right to YouTube.”

  “I don’t think so. Look at him. He’s still banging away. Doesn’t he ever get tired?”

  “Not tired, no. He’ll get bored in a while and crawl off to wreak havoc somewhere else.”

  “Let’s go down to the beach,” Natalie suggested. “Sand is quieter.”

  “Good idea. Let’s take the Tupperware and a spoon for him to play with.”

  “And I’ll bring some iced tea for us.”

  Morgan scooped up Petey and some bowls. Natalie carried the iced tea and a spoon. They went out the kitchen door onto the deck and down the wooden steps to the flagstones leading through the short stretch of lawn to the beach. When Petey saw the sand, he struggled to get there.

  “I could fetch chairs …” Natalie offered.

  “No, sitting on the ground is just fine.” Morgan established Petey in the sand and sat cross-legged next to him, leaning back on her elbows, lifting her face to the sun. “What a great day.”

  The beach was wide and ran up from the water a good ten feet. A short wooden pier extended between Natalie’s house and the Barnabys’, with a wooden boathouse a few feet away from the lake, which today reflected a cloudless blue sky. Oaks, birches, and pines grew in all the yards, casting shadows that would be welcome in the heat of deep summer and providing homes for the birds who chirped and rustled among the leaves. From across the water came an occasional note of music or the industrious hammering of the fellow whom they could see repairing the roof of his boathouse.

  Natalie handed Morgan a glass of iced tea and took a long sip of her own. “The sun feels so good on my shoulders.”

  “Is painting hard physically?” Morgan asked.

  “Not really. Sometimes I get stiff.” She yawned. “This is nice.”

  “Natalie, I found the painting I want. It’s called Romance. I saw the label on the back, so obviously you exhibited it at least once.”

  “And no one bought it,” Natalie said.

  “Because it was waiting for me to buy it,” Morgan retorted. Then, because she could tell that Natalie was struggling, she said, “Natalie. Listen. I really like that painting. But I’d be the first person to admit that I know nothing about art. Plus, not to be rude or ignorant, I probably could tell a first-rate still life from a bad one, but with abstract art … it all looks incomprehensible to me. But this painting has spirit. It has emotional power.”

  Natalie smiled shyly. “Thanks.” Her eyes were cast down, her face shadowed.

  “I want to buy it.” When Natalie didn’t respond, Morgan coaxed, “It would only be next door. You could come visit it anytime.”

  Natalie’s posture straightened. She lifted her chin and stared straight at Morgan. “Look. I’m not an abstract artist. That painting is not my best work.”

  Morgan cocked her head. “And yet, I like it.”

  Natalie snorted, exasperated.

  “Listen, Natalie, what if it were hanging in a gallery? What if I saw it there? I’d buy it, and I’d have no idea what the artist thought about it, right?”

  Natalie picked up a handful of sand and let it drift through her fingers as she thought. “I see what you’re saying.” After a moment, she admitted, “I’m struggling with my still life, too.”

  Morgan could tell that Natalie was working something through. It had been a long time since Morgan had shared such a moment with a friend. Life was full of decisions, and exposing such personal conflicts was risky.

  “What about landscapes?” Morgan asked.

  “What do you mean?”

  “Have you ever thought of painting landscapes? Of painting”—she held her hand out, indicating the glowing blue lake—“all this?”

  Natalie shook her head. “I don’t know why, but landscape painting has never appealed to me.”

  “That’s interesting. Why not?”

  Natalie shrugged. She relaxed a bit, considering her reply. After a moment, she smiled at Morgan. “Why biosafety?”

  “Hmm. Touché.” Now it was Morgan’s turn to sit in contemplation. She actually knew the answer, but the full truth required personal revelation. “I’ve always been interested in safety. I love science, but it can be dangerous. When I took chemistry in high school, something lit up inside me at all the safety measures and rules we were taught. One day a girl in my lab was in a hurry and her hair caught on fire from her Bunsen burner.” Morgan shuddered. “She was all right—someone dragged her to a sink and stuck her head underwater. Her face wasn’t burned, only a bit of her scalp. But I couldn’t forget that moment. When I was in college and realized there was such a field as biosafety, I went right for it. And the more I learned about hazardous waste management, the more I wanted to work in that field. Protecting the world as well as people.”

  “Wow,” Natalie said. “That’s impressive. You must feel a huge sense of responsibility.”

  Morgan laughed. “Actually, I do, but my responsibility now is all about taking care of that little guy, which means saving for a college education and all that raising a child requires.” She gestured toward Petey, who was carefully adding sand, spoonful by spoonful, into a bowl of water Morgan had carried up from the lake. “I love my work. I miss my work.” She sighed. “But I’ll get back to it someday.” She didn’t want to stay focused on herself, and she certainly didn’t want to get into her growing dissatisfaction with her husband and his job. “So. Now you tell me. Why not landscapes?”

  Natalie tugged at the hem of her cargo shorts. “I think I’ve been a kind of gypsy artist, wandering from genre to genre. I’ve been told I can be good. Unfortunately, some of the positive appraisal has come with strings attached, so I don’t really know if it’s been the truth.”

  “You’re talking about male art instructors wanting to sleep with you?”

  “Well, you summed it up very euphemistically, thank you.” Natalie’s mouth quirked downward.

  “You’re a babe,” Morgan reminded her.

  “So are you. So are lots of women. We shouldn’t have to have sex with our teachers to get the truth.” She ran her hand through her cropped black hair, ruffling it so it stood up like a raven’s plume. “That’s not all of it, though. I mean, I haven’t been able to spend more than nine months at a time working on my art, and that’s just not sufficient. I’ve gotten scholarships at art schools over the past fifteen years, but they didn’t cover living expenses so I never could stay long.”

  Morgan said sympathetically, “That’s tough.”

  “It is. That’s why I’m determined to
be disciplined in my work now that Aunt Eleanor has provided me with this amazing opportunity. No men in my life, no dating, no flirting. That always leads to trouble. Just work.”

  “You’re painting a still life now, right?”

  “Right.” Natalie exhaled. “And I don’t like it.”

  Morgan laughed. “Okay, then. What would you like to paint?”

  Natalie stared toward the lake, and Morgan watched the strain ease from her face, replaced by a dawning hope. “That. I’d rather paint that.”

  “What?”

  “Petey. A little boy in blue shorts and a red-and-white striped shirt, pouring water into bowls, his face so intent on his work. Children have done that for centuries, and here he is, one particular child. It would be something eternal and ephemeral at the same time.”

  “Why not do it?”

  “For one thing, how long is he going to keep still?” Natalie asked.

  “Here’s a solution.” Morgan reached into her pocket, took out her cell phone, and snapped a few shots of her son. She handed her phone to Natalie. “The resolution isn’t great.…”

  “And the lighting will change every day,” Natalie mused aloud. She stood up, pulled out her own phone, and took a few steps back, clicking shots at different angles. “Clouds, shadow, the earth’s angle to the sun, but still … Wait. I have a better camera. I’ll be right back.” She sprinted away.

  Morgan held her breath. Her son could grow bored in an instant; she didn’t dare move for fear of distracting him. Wouldn’t it be wonderful if Natalie did a portrait of Petey!

  A minute passed. A bumblebee buzzed over to check out Morgan’s hair. She didn’t even twitch. The bee flew away. Petey continued to pour sand into the bowl. The sunlight fell on his strawberry blond curls, turning them into a mystical substance, liquid fire. His dimpled hands clutched the spoon fiercely as he cautiously, trying not to spill even one grain of sand, raised the spoon from the beach to the bowl. He would be a good chemist, she realized.

  But where was Natalie? Petey wouldn’t do this forever! She heard a click and turned her head. Natalie was on the deck with a camera, snapping photos. Morgan relaxed. She sipped her tea.