Genuine surprise crossed Gam’s face as she reached over and took it, her fingers brushing against his as she picked it up. She looked it over, her eyes darting over the tiny individual stars. “It’s…thank you.” It was a genuine bit of thanks with a hint of surprise in her voice. Gam looked to him, her smile warmer than usual. “I…I think I have the perfect ribbon to hang it on.”
“If you still have the dark brown one, I think it’d be good,” he said, taking a drink. “It makes your eyes sort of.…” He shrugged. If he said ‘shine like the stars,’ it would sound like a line. But Gam’s eyes twinkled more often than not. With mischief. With secrets. With wrongdoings wrapped in a raucous laugh. “It’d be best.”
“Out of all the men I’ve ever met, you’ve the keenest eye for color and sparkle,” she said. It sounded like a compliment. Derk took the chance and leaned in, tilting his head to the side.
“I’m here, aren’t I?” They considered each other for a few breaths, Derk trying to figure out how Celeel took what he said. Celeel held the pendant in her hand.
“What d’you mean by that?” she asked. He was surprised by how plainly she asked. Was it an opportunity? He missed playing with Gam, quipping back and forth till they were exacerbated with each other, laid bare with sarcasm. Today, Derk thought, the skin would be removed more plainly.
“Celeel,” he said. “I know you’re a good taker. I know it. You know it. You could do more with other people. The right people.” She gave him a sidelong glance but recognition showed in her narrowed eyes. Her mouth pulled to the side, as if many answers lay in her mind and she was sorting through which one to let out.
“And how do you know I’m not already working for someone else?” she asked. Her tone didn’t match the serious face she had just shown him. Someone else? Who? For a breath Derk entertained the thought that he didn’t know everything about Gam, her sewing and love for taking and her laugh. How she stayed in Portsmouth because she moved so much as a child she wanted to stay put and have a home. How it felt to be smacked by her, kissed by her. There was the Church, the Barons, the Block Lords and the Cup. She sometimes sewed for the Church. She wasn’t lawful enough to work for the Barons. She disliked the Gangs. So why not the Cup?
“Are you sewing things into your quilts for someone else now? For more than just deals here and there for extra eggs, a barrel of beer?” He knew it was one of Gam’s tricks, though she never said it plainly. It hadn’t been difficult to figure out. Derk had stayed with her too often not to. Quilts she worked on at night with an inconsistent bit of batting in the morning. Money, packets of items sewn into the quilting. He watched as she tried to wash her guilt down with a sip of beer. “Your quilts are beautiful, Celeel, they shouldn’t be pulled apart for a take.”
“And how do I know all the people in this…Cup of yours? That they care about what happens to me?” she asked. “Why should I throw my lot in for the big take, when I can happily pick away for the things I want?”
“Since when do you need anyone to care about you, Gam? I thought you were happy caring for yourself?”
“There’s no point in being with people if they’re dumb fappers who don’t care about you,” Old Gam said. She took another drink and poured herself another glass. “I don’t need another set of people who don’t care about me. It’s a kick in the twixt to deal with.” She topped off Derk’s glass without asking him if he wanted her to.
“But they won’t just…Gam, I know these people, I’ve told them about you. I’ve vouched for you.”
“Oh, you’ve vouched for me, you sweet thing,” she laughed. “Let me light a stick of incense on my altar in thanks.” Gam squinted at him. The look on her face was probably the closest to a pout she could do. It still managed to look sly somehow. “You know,” she said, wagging her finger at him. “It was I who took you in all those years ago!”
“And now I want to take you in, Gam! Please! I know you do a bit yourself but you can do more with others. You’re smart, you’re cunning.” Derk left out the other compliments he had for her. They didn’t matter at this point and she would just think he was trying to grease her up. “And when I get something good in my lap, I want to be able to let you in, with more than just a packet of dye. I want you to get recognition. Respect.”
“Not everyone wants those things, Derk,” was all she said. She sighed and leaned forward and Derk couldn’t help but ease in to meet her. Old Gam put her hand on the side of his face. Her fingertips brushed against his forehead and his hair, running along and lingering along his jawline. She scratched at his beard and smirked. “What’s with the beard?”
“Last time I was here, I didn’t have one, so I grew one,” he said, shrugging. He pulled away from her and sat back in in his chair, putting his hands behind his head. Derk could still feel the touch of her hands on his face, the warmth of her skin.
“Takes a while to grow a beard,” Old Gam mused. She laid her hands on the tabletop, her nails pink ovals. The pendant lay under one of her hands, star side up. Even from this angle, Derk saw the glint of the stars.
“Well,” he said, looking to the side. “I had it in my mind to come here for a while.” He said it and he let it hang in the air. Derk stared at the table, wondering what she would say in response. “I’ve thought about you,” he said. He ran his fingers over the tablecloth, trying to remember what the sheets on her bed felt like. “More than you probably think. More than you tell yourself I do.” He looked up at her. As soon as her eyes met his she stood up from her seat, leaving the pendant on the tabletop. Her back was toward him, her long, curly hair spilling down her back. He could see the curve of her backside under her garments, the backs of her legs and the hint of the scar on her calf that crept over her skin.
“You think what you want is more important than what other people want. Like you know better. You’re so stupid.” He could see her fingers, her arms wrapped around herself.
“You know, Gam, it is possible for two people to want the same thing,” he said, leaning forward. She spun her head around looking over her shoulder.
“Oh yeah? Like what?”
“Happiness. Being themselves. Alongside one another,” he said. “Even if they don’t want the same thing, it can be sorted.” He believed that. “You want to be happy, don’t you? And if you join the Cup, no one will ask you to be anything but yourself. And I’d be closer to you.”
“We’re close now, Derk.” She turned around and faced him, her arms still wrapped around her middle.
“Closer?” He said it and couldn’t keep a bit of hope out of his voice. “You could always find me.” He walked over and stood in front of her, sliding his hands around her hips, not bothering to start at her waist and slide down. “I could always find you. Or others.”
“Or each other,” she said, gazing up at him. He saw the laugh there before it jerked in her stomach, played on her lips. “Ain’t your new friends good enough? You still need Gam?”
He wanted to say he wanted her. It would be the sweet thing to say. More than he needed her, he wanted her, more than the other women he had dallied with over the last year. Dark haired women with sweet smiles. Not Gam. Gam, whose mouth was more likely to grin, with her curly hair as raucous as her laugh. The scar hiding under her skirts. He could probably trace the outline of it with his eyes closed. The thought made his fingertips press into her skin harder but Derk forced himself to loosen his hold on her.
“Gam, everyone needs you in their life,” he said. Her eyes narrowed at him but a pleased smile curled her mouth and she put her hands on his chest. As she put her head back to up at him, he could feel her hair brush against his hands.
“Is that a fact?” she asked. “I think you’re a liar.” She wrapped her arms around his neck and drew him closer so his forehead rested on hers. Her nose brushed against his, and he felt her breath against his mouth.
“Have I at least gotten a bit better at it?” he whispered. He wondered how they had once again started wit
h sharp words and yelling and wound up whispering in her front room. Derk had come there set on business but the two of them together had turned the meeting into something else altogether. Or at least it was heading that way.
“You can fool other people, but you can never fool me,” she said, quietly, so closely her lips brushed against his. He thought she would kiss him but before he could blink she slipped out of his arms and away from him, walking to the stove.
Derk cursed himself. Working with Gam was never just business or pleasure. Business, he reminded himself. He brushed his hair back, trying to think of how he could bring it back to the Cup, get her to say yes. He wanted her in because it would be more like a family if she was in. And he wanted to bring something to the Cup besides himself. Gam would be the best thing he could bring, for now. And as much as he hated to admit it, he wanted to give her something in return for all the nights he had shared her bed and covered for her, for all she had taught him. Gam had taught him how to mend his own socks. She had taught him how most garments were made and the best way to put your hand into a pocket without getting noticed. With Sindra gone, Celeel was the one who knew him best. Celeel knew him the longest out of anyone. As long as he had been Derk, this had been the case.
“Look, I only asked because I thought you’d be interested,” he said. “There’s no question as to whether you can do it or not. You’d probably be running it in a few months time,” he said. Her eyes darted toward him as she put a pot on the stove.
“Why don’t you run it yourself?” she asked. She ladled water into the pot to boil, turning to look over the cupboards herself.
“What?” Derk laughed. He laughed so hard Gam actually looked surprised. “Me? I don’t want to run anything,” he said with a shake of his head. He picked his beer up and chuckled, thinking about how funny it was. “I just want to have some fun, get my heart going, a grip of coins in a day. A laugh, a drink with a friend and every once in a while, sleep in bed. Maybe with company.” He drank from his glass, watching Gam’s reaction to his words, wondering if she would take the last bit as an invitation. “And have some people to talk about the triumphs of the day.”
“And the failures,” Gam said.
“Of course, in the most comical way possible,” he said. “Give ‘em a show.” He sat on the edge of the table, looking at the spot on his hand he had burned. It was red and still throbbed but nothing too serious. Derk watched as Gam found some herbs in a tin to make tea. “Oi, d’you have anything to put on my burn? It’s starting to hurt.”
Gam dropped her chin to her chest and glared at him. “Really?” she asked. “That little thing?” She sighed, though to Derk it didn’t sound like she was too upset, walking toward her room. “You’re such a baby.”
“Ah, yes, such a baby. I’m Gam’s little baby,” he said, trying to sound whiny through his laughs.
“Oh stop it,” she said, slapping at him as she walked into the bedroom, Derk following behind her. Derk looked around the room as she looked through the boxes she had under her nightstand. She blinked and looked at him, frowning slightly as her eyes traveled up and down his frame. “You’re dressed mighty fancy,” she said. “What’s that about?”
“Can’t a man put on his best shirt and best pants and walk around?” he asked, incredulous. “If you like, I can take them off.” He laid down on her bed, trying not to react when she wrinkled her nose at him, hands on her hips.
“Get off my bed!” she demanded. “I don’t know where you’ve been.”
“I’ve been here the last bit! And the bar!” he half-shouted, not able to keep from laughing. Gam huffed through her own laughter and sat on the bed, putting the box with her medicines next to her.
“When did you get into town?” Her fingers pried open a a stone box of salve and she ran her fingertip over it before she took his hand in hers. She had callouses from hew sewing, her hands rough and smooth in different spots.
“I got in last night, slept at the Church, as I’m like to do.” Old Gam dabbed her finger a little too hard against his skin, making him wince.
“As you’re like to do,” she said, looking at him out of the corner of her eye.
Derk sat up in the bed, pulling his hand away. “I wasn’t going to show up here late at night. I wanted to get a good night’s sleep and wash up.”
“Trim your beard,” she said, sticking out her tongue.
“What is it with you and the beard?” he demanded. “It’s just hair. Things change, Gam!” He looked over his burn, moving his fingers to see what his hand felt like. Not too bad. “I can’t believe you’re all mad over a beard.” He grabbed her hand and put it on his face again, looking into her eyes. “I’m still Derk. Your Derk.” He didn’t think Gam could blush but she was. She seemed to know she was because she looked away, as if trying to hide it. He kissed the palm of her hand, rubbing her hand against his face. He could hear the scratching of her skin against his facial hair. Gam reached up and tousled his hair, smiling.
“That’s more like Derk,” she said. “My Derk. Just you and me.”
“It’s just you and me right now,” he said. She looked over his clothes again. He wondered if she guessed he had been at the temple, asking after Sindra. It was all behind him. Behind them.
“And the Cup,” she mused, sitting up straighter on the bed, the mattress settling under her.
“Not in bed,” he said.
“You need a good plowing, don’t you?” Old Gam asked. She grinned at him.
“I’m trying really hard to not just come out and ask,” Derk laughed. “Not that I think it’s all you’re good for, Gam. I-” He stopped short, looking around the room as he tried to think of what to say.
“Don’t stop, say something nice to me,” Old Gam said. “You know how to get me in bed.”
“That was before the beard,” he said, as seriously as he could. Gam laughed, loudly, her face scrunching up like it always did when she laughed. They both laughed for a few breaths before Gam sighed and laid down beside him, forcing him to scoot over in the bed.
“You know, you missed me and I missed you,” she said, laying her hand on his chest. He could feel his own heart beat under it, his heart beat slightly faster as she wrapped one leg on top of his. “And you treated me bad, Derk. You left me in bed all those years ago and took up with that woman. You spent all your time with her and even when she didn’t want you, you kept after. She didn’t even know you. Not like me. And you would come to me and sit at my table and mope over her. You always looked so stupid when you did.”
“Gam, you never told me you wanted me to stick around.” He rolled over onto his side so that he faced her, close. He brought his fingers to her hair and laid his thumb on her cheek, his legs brushing against hers.
“I knew even if you did stick around, you wouldn’t be happy. Why ask you to do something you’re not supposed to do?” Old Gam moved closer to him, her hips inching toward his, her shirt creeping up her legs. “It wouldn’t have been fair or kind.”
“You’ve always been too kind to me,” he chuckled.
“I’m glad you recognize when I’m being kind,” she said. Celeel leaned over and kissed him, Derk’s mouth meeting hers. Her mouth still tasted the same, the beer she always drank on her tongue and lips. He put his hand on the small of her back and pushed her hips gently toward his, feeling the curve of her backside and slipping his hand under her shirt to feel her skin. They kissed on her bed, Gam’s hands running over his thighs and tugging at his shirt. She pulled her lips away from his and laid her cheek on his, rubbing her fair skin against his beard, making Derk laugh.
Derk rolled over on top of her, moving her legs and lifting up her shirt, past her legs, thighs, hips till he could see her stomach. He knelt down and started to kiss the inside of her thigh when she grabbed him by the hair, too hard for it to be playful.
“I left the pot of water on the stove,” she laughed. Derk looked up from between her legs. Whatever his face looked like it made
her laugh even more.
“Are you kidding me?” he asked, his arm still wrapped around her leg. “Just let the hem chawing pot go!”
“I could set the whole building on fire!” she laughed. “There’s a woman with a baby living above me! I need to take it off.” She patted him on the head before she awkwardly unlaced her legs from his grasp. Derk groaned after her as she skipped into the front room. Between grumbles he pulled off his boots and socks, setting them at the foot of the bed neatly. He started to pull his tunic up over his head, raising his eyebrows when he had it off. Gam stood in the doorway, naked. She posed quickly like the way women did in pictures before she walked back to the bed, one hands reaching to undo his pants as she pushed him back onto the bed. Derk was happy to help her with the belt. Both their bodies were patchworks of lighter and darker shades of beige, showing where they had allowed the summer sun to color their skin. Derk kissed her shoulders, raking his teeth against her skin as she straddled him, more and more of themselves touching, her heat and taste familiar to Derk’s tongue and body.
Afterward they lay in her bed, not bothering to get under the sheets. It was too hot for it. Derk lay on his belly, watching Celeel’s stomach rise and fall with every breath. They had both dozed off but Derk was awake now. Her hair was in her face but she didn’t seem to notice as always. He heard her stomach grumble and realized he himself was hungry. Leaning over he kissed her on the mouth, sweetly, glad to find her kissing him back, her hand in his hair. He pulled away and she smiled at him, yawning lazily before she sat up.
Gam sat in the bed, leaning forward slightly, her back curved in an arc. She looked to Derk sleepily and yawned again. “You know,” she said. “I think I will join your Cup,” she said. “I could use with knowing where you are.”
“It would be nice,” Derk said, rolling over and propping his head on his hand. “I’d like that.”
“And,” Gam said, sitting up a bit more straight on the bed. Her hair fell down across her shoulders but he could still see the curve of her breasts. “Well, if you’re not going to eventually take charge of it, someone will have to.” Gam smiled at him, her mischievous grin. It made his heart skip a beat.
The Valley of Ten Crescents Series (Box Set: Books 1-3) Page 43