by J. S. Scott
Somehow I sensed that if I couldn’t get through to him now, I might never make him understand how I felt. Gavin was a lot like me. He’d continue to be my guardian, but he’d bury his emotions, and I’d never get him to understand the fact that I only cared about the man he was now.
“It fucking matters to me,” he growled, then pulled his head back. “You’re too damn sweet, too damn innocent for a prick like me.”
I broke loose from his hold and straddled his body, wishing I could see his eyes, but the light was too dim, the sun still hours from rising. “I’m not sweet, and I’m far from innocent. Most of the time I walk around wishing I’d died instead of my brother. I feel unwanted, unloved. Just once, I want to feel something more. You make me feel something different, something good. Is it so wrong that I want something just for myself for once in my life?” My voice and my body quivered as I stared down at Gavin’s face.
He flipped our positions so quickly my head spun, pinning me beneath him so fast I didn’t have time to think.
I could hear his ragged breathing as his bulky form towered above me. “Don’t say you want to be dead. Don’t ever say that,” he rumbled. “Talk to me, Charlie… I can’t help you if I don’t know why you feel that way.”
A tear trickled down my face and I shook my head. “No. I just want you.”
“I’m no goddamn hero, sweetheart. I’m filth wrapped up in a now successful and legit business. I can’t change my past.”
“I’m not asking you to,” I said emphatically. “I want you exactly the way you are. You’re my hero, Gavin. You have been since the moment you kept me from dying.”
“Fuck! Is there anything I can tell you to change your mind?” he asked desperately.
I knew he wasn’t a killer, and he only stole to keep his family fed. “Nope. My opinion stays unchanged. Make me feel good, Gavin. Let me make you understand that the past doesn’t matter anymore.”
“That’s really what you want?” he asked in a low, uneasy tone.
“More than anything. I’m not asking you for anything more. Just now. Just us. Just this.” I wrapped my legs around his waist and ground my pussy against his steely erection.
“Then there’s no hope for either one of us because I can’t fight this anymore,” he said in a husky voice as his mouth came crashing down to claim mine.
CHAPTER 19
Charlie
The relief of feeling Gavin’s possessive lips on mine, and the nearly palpable sense of him letting go was euphoric. I moaned as our tongues entangled in a scorching embrace, my core flooding with a fiery heat that rose up every time he touched me.
But there was a difference this time.
I knew he was going to satisfy my voracious hunger for him, and finally let go of at least some of his past.
Wrapping my arms around his neck, I had to use my instincts to guess what Gavin wanted. Wanting to be closer to him, I let my palms slide up and down his back, knowing I could never get enough of touching his fiery skin.
“I don’t know what to do,” I panted as he finally pulled his mouth from mine. “I want to make you feel good, too.”
He pulled me gently into a sitting position to slide the pajamas I was wearing over my head. Once he’d tossed them to the floor, he turned on the reading light over the bed so I could see his face. Gavin clasped my hand in his and put our conjoined fingers over his heart.
“You don’t have to do a damn thing, Charlie. Do what feels good. Feel this…” He spread my hand over the left side of his smooth, muscular chest. “My heart is racing like I just ran a damn marathon and I’ve barely touched you. Just knowing you want me makes me crazy.”
My own heart flip-flopped as I got lost in his earnest gaze. “I do want you, Gavin. So much,” I said breathlessly.
“Feel this…” He moved my hand down to his cock. “You don’t have to do a single thing but be near me, for me to want to be inside you.”
“Can I touch you?” I asked, desperate to feel him now that I knew he’d end up inside me.
He groaned, but he quickly disposed of his briefs and flopped onto his back. “This is likely to kill me,” he complained.
I licked my dry lips as I stared at his enormous erection. Okay, maybe I smiled just a little because of his comment. Intrigued, I reached out and swiped the bead of moisture from the tip of his cock, then licked my finger to see what he tasted like.
“Fuck! Did you have to do that?” Gavin asked in a voice cracking with need.
I looked at him as I sucked on the tip of my finger, savoring the slightly salty flavor of his essence. I reached for him again, tracing a damp finger over the silky head before running my fingers down the long shaft. “I wanted to taste you. Is that bad?”
God, he felt good. He was big, and I knew the first time might be painful, but the wrenching need to have him fill me was a hell of a lot more overwhelming than any possible pinch I might feel from losing my virginity.
“I’m dying here, Charlie,” he said coarsely, sounding like his control was sitting on a razor’s edge.
I wrapped my fingers around him and stroked up and down. “Tell me what to do,” I requested.
“Not. That,” he answered through gritted teeth, then rose up and flipped me onto my back.
“That’s bad?” I asked as I looked up at him.
“Not usually. But right now, you have me so worked up… I’m not going to fucking last,” he answered gruffly. “When you touch me like that, it makes me crazy.”
I wanted to ask him what he meant, but before I could get the words out of my mouth, Gavin was kissing me like a man possessed, and I melted into him as my arms wound around his neck.
I whimpered as he pulled his lips from mine, but he put a finger over my mouth. “Easy, baby.”
His tongue left a trail of fire down the sensitive skin of my neck as he tasted and teased his way down my body, stopping to linger as he gently sucked on one of my nipples and teased the other with his talented fingers.
I moaned, then speared my fingers through his hair, feeling his touch sizzle through every nerve in my body. “Gavin,” I said in a pleading voice.
“You’re so damn beautiful, Charlie,” he said in a voice muffled by the skin of my belly.
I knew I wasn’t a beauty, but Gavin made me feel like I was. The way he touched my body, exploring like he couldn’t get enough, made me feel like the sexiest woman in the world.
My core spasmed and clamped down hard as Gavin slipped one of his large hands inside my panties, groaning as he stroked through the moist heat between my thighs.
“You’re so damn wet for me, sweetheart,” he said in a throaty voice.
My hips rose up to meet his fingers, my body on fire for something more. “Gavin. Please.”
One fierce tug and my panties were gone, tossed off the side of the bed. The thought that he didn’t have the patience to take them off slowly wound my body tighter with need.
I parted my thighs instinctively, but Gavin put a hand on each of my knees and opened my thighs wider to him before he lowered his head and buried his tongue between my folds, taking one long lick of my pussy from bottom to top.
“Oh, God,” I moaned loudly, unable to contain the carnal pleasure that his silky tongue had just fired up in my belly.
I gripped his hair tighter, but nothing prepared me for the erotic, intimate pleasure of Gavin devouring my pussy like he’d been deprived of sustenance for weeks. Lips, teeth and tongue worked together to devastate my senses, my body trembling as he lightly clamped his teeth on my clit.
My head thrashed, my senses still trying to take in the ecstasy of Gavin’s mouth all over my pussy, my clit throbbing, begging for more.
“Gavin, I need…” My voice trailed off as I realized that I wasn’t exactly certain what I had to have.
“Easy, sweetheart,” he s
aid as he lifted his head. “I’ll give you what you need. Trust me.”
“I do.” I squirmed, beneath his touch, knowing that he’d give me that elusive something I had to have. I just hoped he did it before my body imploded.
My hands fisted his hair harder, and I knew I was yanking his locks, but I was helpless to make myself stop.
He explored with his fingers as he teased my clit with his tongue, and I was gulping for breath when I felt his finger impale my sheath. “Yes. Please,” I encouraged him, needing to feel him. “More.”
I lifted my hips, needing him harder, faster.
“Sweetheart, you’re so damn tight,” Gavin growled as he eased a second finger inside.
My muscles stretched to accommodate his fingers, my back arching with desperation as he started moving them inside me.
“Gavin,” I screamed, feeling the tight coil in my belly start to unfurl and head straight for my core.
He pumped his fingers inside me harder, and his tongue gave me the friction and pressure I needed to finally find release. My entire body shuddered as waves of pleasure like I’d never experienced pounded over my body. Gavin extended my climax, lapping at the juices between my thighs until my chest was heaving and I was gasping for air.
He moved up my body sensually, letting our bodies slide skin-to-skin until he was finally over me, kissing me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck and tasted myself on his lips.
His kiss was short and powerful, but he lifted his head to let me breathe. “Feeling better?” he asked in a husky voice.
I nodded, trying to catch my breath. “I didn’t know it could be like that.”
Obviously, I’d masturbated in the past. Sometimes I was able to get myself off. But never, ever had I experienced an orgasm that powerful. I didn’t even know it was possible.
“I wanted you to feel good, Charlie. It makes me crazy to hear you scream my name,” he admitted as he nuzzled my neck.
It wasn’t like I couldn’t understand what he was saying. But I had the same need. “Fuck me, Gavin. I need you.”
Looking up at him with what I knew to be a pleading expression, I saw the muscle in his jaw twitch, our needy gazes colliding as he slowly rose off the bed.
CHAPTER 20
Gavin
“Where are you going?” Charlie asked, sounding confused.
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!
I’d hoped that I’d be able to satisfy myself with just a taste of Charlie, but all it had done was solidify my unrelenting need for her. I fished into the pocket of my discarded pants to pull out a condom. Hell, even before we’d gotten here I’d probably known that I’d find myself in this position.
I was screwed.
I always had been when it came to the beautiful, adorable, innocent woman in my bed. Maybe I’d known that making her mine was inevitable, even when I’d bought a box of condoms on a pit stop when we were coming to the safe house.
“You have condoms?” she asked in a quiet voice. “Do you always have one in your pocket?”
I clenched the package and plopped back onto the bed. Hearing the vulnerability in her voice, I knew it was time to tell her one more truth. Stretching out next to her, I stroked her damp hair, marveling over the fact that this amazing creature actually wanted me. “No, love. I never have them with me these days. I won’t bullshit you and tell you that I haven’t had my share of women, but I haven’t had sex with anybody since what happened with Kane. I couldn’t.”
She scrunched up her brows in the adorable way she always did when she was thinking. “Why?”
I shrugged. “I couldn’t. Every time I thought about sex, it brought up my past, so the two became linked in my mind. As a result, I’ve avoided sex altogether.” But holy fuck…I was making up for lost time with Charlie.
Charlie reached up and grasped my hand and laid it on her chest. “We’re different when we’re together,” she said in a soft, soothing voice. “This is something wonderful for me, Gavin,” she confessed.
Looking at the wide-eyed innocent expression on her adorable face, I had to completely agree. I was different when I was with her, and my need for her was raw and real. Maybe that intensity pushed aside my guilt and my past.
Releasing her hand, I rolled on the condom, savoring the sensation of my cock pulsating in my hand before I slowly lowered my body over hers, unable to take my eyes away from her adoring gaze.
Charlie wanted me.
She needed me.
But most of all, she accepted me for exactly who I was, and that realization had my chest aching and my heart galloping as I stroked some loose strands of hair away from her face.
Finally, I answered, “This is something incredible for me, too, sweetheart. Maybe it’s something I don’t deserve, but I don’t want to fight it anymore. I need you, too, Charlie. More than you could ever imagine.”
This woman was starting to mean everything to me, and I knew as sure as the sun was going to rise that there was no way I’d ever let her go once I had her.
Mine!
“Don’t fight it,” she insisted. “I’ve been waiting for you, for this. All my life I’ve been desperate to feel wanted, even if it was just for a short period of time.”
“Baby, I’m always going to want you. Make no mistake about that,” I said gruffly as I shifted my body to take her. “There’s never going to be another period in your life where you won’t be wanted. Not as long as I’m breathing.”
I had no idea what kind of number the people in her life had done to Charlie, but it made me fucking insane just to think about her not feeling adored and cherished like she should be.
Her happy sigh made me feel like the most powerful guy in the world, and as I lowered my head to kiss her, I buried myself inside her with one strong stroke, hoping I could quickly move past the painful part.
I inhaled her gasp of surprise as I covered her lips, coaxing them open as I struggled with the desire to pound into her tight little body. And God, she was tight. I could feel her muscles stretching to accept me, slick and full to capacity.
Her body was tense, but her arms wrapped tightly around me, and as I stayed still and nipped and licked the sensitive skin of her neck, Charlie relaxed. “You okay, love?” I asked in a husky voice.
“Yeah. I’m okay,” she said in a breathless voice.
I peppered kisses on her face, her neck, and her shoulders, waiting for her to give me a sign that she was ready.
It was the longest minute I’d ever experienced.
My cock was throbbing inside her, wedged tightly inside her like it belonged there and always had. My control was dangling by a thin thread, the only thing keeping me from losing it was her innocence and a fear that I’d hurt her.
I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I was holding when she hesitantly wrapped her legs around my waist. “More, Gavin. Please.”
They were the sweetest words I’d ever heard, and my body, damp with perspiration from holding back, finally shuddered in relief as I pulled back, then buried myself again.
“Yes,” she moaned.
That was all I needed to finally let go.
I started as slowly as I could, but I was pounding into her after a few strokes, guided by her body lifting up to meet me, our skin slapping together in our urgent need for each other.
“Mine,” I barked, so overwhelmed by the animalistic desire to claim her completely as my own that I couldn’t stop the compulsion.
Her nails bit into my back, but I loved the erotic pain. Charlie was claiming me just as surely as I was claiming her.
“Gavin!” Her pleasured scream was sweet, and I shifted to grind into her with every thrust.
“Take what you need, baby,” I demanded.
I could feel the pressure at the base of my spine, and I knew I wasn’t going to last much longer.
Charlie
’s sweet body started to undulate against me, and I nipped at her shoulder and her neck, getting lost in the feel of our bodies both straining together to reach one goal.
“Fuck me harder, Gavin.”
Her desperate plea made me lose it. I pummeled into her hard and fast, and she pushed up against me, unafraid of taking exactly what she wanted.
My heart was fucking hammering by the time she started to climax, and the clenching, hot flesh of her tight pussy milked me to my own explosive release.
The orgasm rocked me, tilting my whole damn world off-balance as I came with an intensity I’d never experienced before.
“Charlie!” I shouted in a hoarse voice, holding onto her like she was the most precious thing I’d ever had. She was worth hanging onto with everything I had because she actually was the best thing that had ever happened to me.
My chest was still heaving as my world finally tilted upright again, and all that could be heard in the bedroom was the sound of our heavy breathing. I knew I should roll off her, but I couldn’t bring myself to let go of her, or disconnect myself from her body while I was trying to recover from something I already knew was a life-changing event for me.
Burying my face into the side of her neck, I willed my heart to slow down, and the emotions I was experiencing to calm. My body eventually responded, but my feelings were still raw. I relished the feel of Charlie stroking her hands over my hair and then my back, wallowed in the sense of not feeling alone for the first time in my life.
“I have to move,” I finally told her.
“Why?” she asked as she stretched against me like a happy cat.
Slowly, I disconnected our bodies and rose to my knees to dispose of the used condom, my heart sinking as I saw the smudges of blood on her thighs and the surface of the latex. I rolled off the bed and strode into the bathroom, dumping the condom and bringing back a moist, warm towel.
I wiped the perspiration from her face, and stroked back her damp hair, then used the towel to swipe the blood from her thighs before I placed it against her core.