by Mayburn, Ann
“Shoot, look at the time. Now go upstairs and get dressed; I need to be back by three to take Lisa to her karate lessons, and I’m not shopping for our impossible parents who own everything by myself.”
Relieved Mary Kate was going to let it slide, at least for the moment, Kira hustled across the kitchen to the elevator in the hallway. As she rode up to the third floor, she tried to get rid of the niggling feeling something was wrong. Not that Bryan didn’t have every right to live anywhere and everywhere he wanted, but why was he in the States? His home had the look of someone who’d lived there at least a few years, and Jesse had mentioned he’d known Bryan for three years.
When she came out of her walk-in closet, buttoning her high-necked silk blouse, she shrieked and jumped about a foot when she saw Mary Kate sitting on her big sleigh bed.
“Shit. You just scared a good six months off my life.”
Instead of laughing, Mary Kate gave her a very somber, worried look. “Please don’t be cross with me, but while you were getting dressed, I decided to look Lord Bryan Sutherfield up on my smartphone.”
Rolling her eyes, Kira dug through her jewelry box, looking for her jade bracelet. “I’m supposed to be shocked you snooped?”
“Come here.”
Disconcerted by the grave tone of her sister’s voice, Kira slipped the bracelet on, then made her way across her bedroom and took a seat next to Mary Kate. “What’s up?”
A red flush spread from Mary Kate’s neck upward, the line where her foundation started becoming more obvious. “I know why he left England.”
Trying to calm the panic in her stomach, Kira shifted so that she was more fully facing her sister. “Why? Did he kill someone? Am I dating a fugitive?”
“Honey, does he hit you?”
Shock froze her in place, locking her mind and only allowing her to whisper, “What?”
“Oh God, he does. Kira—”
“Wait, wait. I never said he hit me.” That was true. He’d spanked her and slapped her breasts but never hit her. “Besides, don’t you think with my fifteen years of karate I’d lay any man on his ass who lifted a finger against me?”
Letting out a long sigh, Mary Kate nodded. “You’re right. It’s just…well, here. You read it.”
Mary Kate handed Kira her phone. After taking it, trying to ignore the slight tremble in her hands, Kira took a deep breath and read the screen. It was some trashy English tabloid, the kind of vicious gossip magazine she never looked at. Scrolling down, she read the headline, and her heart slammed against her ribs.
MORE DETAILS ON THE BARON BRYAN DE SADE’S SEX TAPE
A stinging sweat broke out over her, and she vaguely hoped she didn’t get her silk shirt wet. Scrolling down, she read a sordid tale of how five years ago Bryan’s girlfriend had tried to blackmail him with a video of them having very kinky, BDSM sex together. Bryan had gone to the authorities, but by then, it was too late. She’d put the video up on the Internet, where it went viral. At the bottom of the article that basically made Bryan seem like some sadistic monster, Kira came to a clip from the sex tape.
It wasn’t good quality, a grainy picture from a distance of a shirtless man striding around a blonde woman tied to a whipping post. When he turned enough so the camera could capture his face, Kira’s heart sank at the sight of a younger Bryan giving the woman his sinister smile, the same one he gave Kira. The other woman was naked, covered with long welts all over her fair skin, and manacled to the whipping post. Bryan touched her face and stroked her hair, and Kira wished she could make out what he was saying.
Seemingly satisfied, he moved back behind the woman and bent to pick up something off view of the camera. When he came back into the frame, he held a long whip he expertly snapped. The scene cut off, some nonsense about what happens next being too graphic for the public, but oh God, she knew all too well what it was like to be beneath his sadistic touch.
When she looked up, Mary Kate gave her a very somber look. “There’s more. All kinds of articles about it. While I feel bad that he was blackmailed by some gold digger, at the same time, I don’t want him around you. He’s dangerous.”
“No. He’s not.” She handed Mary Kate back her phone. “So he had kinky sex with her. Big deal.”
Mary Kate’s lips thinned into a white line. “He’s beating her and getting off on it. This isn’t a little spank on the butt. He’s whipping her. What kind of monster would do that?”
“He’s not a monster.”
“How would you know? You just told me downstairs you don’t know anything about this man.” Mary Kate put her hand to her mouth, her dark eyes going wide. “Blessed Mother, did he give you that bruise on your neck? Kira, is he hurting you?”
“No! For fuck’s sake, Mary Kate, he isn’t doing anything to me I don’t want him to do.” Tears actually filled her sister’s eyes and took away some of Kira’s anger. “Look, I know you’re concerned about me, I really do, but this is my life, and I get to make the choices of how I live it.”
“Look, I know how much you love to take risks, to court danger. For you that’s your drug of choice. But this is different. This isn’t jumping out of a plane over the Grand Canyon. This is an abusive man who could really hurt you, maybe even kill you.”
Standing up, Kira brushed off her pants and avoided her sister’s gaze. “He is not a monster.”
“I didn’t say he was.”
Before Kira could respond, the chime for her front door rang. Glad for the distraction, she strode over to the intercom next to her bedroom door and pressed the Speaker button. “Who is it?”
“Hello, beautiful. I brought your car back.”
Her heart leaped in her chest even as her stomach filled with a nauseous mix of acid and weariness. “I’ll be right down.”
Mary Kate stood. “Is that him?”
“Yes, and I swear if you make a scene, I will be really, really pissed at you for a long time. I’m a grown woman who can make her own decisions.”
Glaring at her, Mary Kate placed her hands on her hips. “You’re also my baby sister.”
Sensing a fight brewing and not wanting to leave Bryan standing on her front steps, she took a deep breath and tried to rein her temper in. “Just please try to not judge him until you meet him. I promise, I swear to you, that he has been nothing but everything I need.”
Mary Kate gave a jerky nod. “Fine, but I want to meet him.”
It would do no good to forbid her sister to meet Bryan. She’d come along anyway and cause an even bigger scene. Mary Kate was as protective as a mama bear, and the last thing Kira needed was for Mary Kate to call their parents and tattle. “Fine. But not one fucking word to Mom and Dad. I’m trusting you, Mary Kate.”
They made their way together down to the entry level, and Kira took a deep breath before opening the front door. On the other side stood Bryan, looking as handsome as sin in his black dress slacks and white button-down shirt. His face lit up when he saw her, a glow burning deep in his brown eyes. “Good morning, love.”
Mary Kate pushed her out of the way with her hip. “Hello, I’m Kira’s sister, Mary Kate.”
Bryan’s eyebrows rose a tad at her open hostility. “Pleasure to meet you.” He held out his hand to shake Mary Kate’s, and she hesitated before giving him the briefest of shakes. Obviously confused by her sister’s aggression, he handed Kira her keys. “I used the code you gave me and parked your car in the underground garage.”
“Thank you so much.”
Fuck, she wanted to invite him in, to surround herself with him, to ask him what in the hell had happened back in England, but she couldn’t do any of those things with Mary Kate glowering at him like a disapproving nun from their Catholic girls’ high school. She gave her sister a pointed look but was ignored.
Mary Kate crossed her arms. “So, Bryan, what are your intentions with my sister?”
Shoving her sister back, Kira gave Bryan a smile that felt as false as pleather. “If you’ll excuse us for
one moment.”
She shut the door in his face and turned on Mary Kate. “Knock it off!”
“What? I didn’t say anything wrong.”
“You sounded like Dad when he was about to give someone the third degree. Now stop it. You’re embarrassing me.”
Mary Kate’s spine stiffened. “Fine.”
Giving her sister one last warning glare, she opened the door again. This time the look Bryan gave her was laced with suspicion and concern. “Am I interrupting something?”
“Yes,” Mary Kate said. “We are running late and need to get going.”
Bryan stepped back and nodded. “I don’t want to keep you ladies.”
Pissed at her sister, confused by the revelation of his past, and unsure of her own feelings, Kira walked out and wrapped her arms around him, planting a big kiss right on his mouth. “Thank you.”
Bemused, he stroked her hair back from her cheek, both of them ignoring her sister’s obvious ire. “You’re most welcome. Give me a call later.”
She inhaled his scent, pulling the cool and clean fragrance deep into her lungs. When she was around him, all her doubts fled. While what they had was only sexual—and temporary—she couldn’t help wanting to spend all the time with him that she could. Still, the images from the video kept playing through her mind, and she also couldn’t help the sting of both jealousy and apprehension.
“I will. Thank you again, Bryan.”
Mary Kate rudely took her arm and pulled her back up the steps. “Come on, Kira. We have to go.”
Bryan’s narrowed his eyes, but he nodded. “Talk to you soon.”
He turned and took the few steps down to the street to where his driver was waiting. Before he got in, he gave Kira one more look, and her heart tightened at the glimpse of hurt in his eyes before he turned away and got in his car. As he drove off, she pressed her hand to her chest and wished she was leaving with him.
* * * *
Five hours later, Kira sat cuddled up in her favorite teal suede chair, staring at her phone. She needed to call Bryan, she really did, but dammit, she didn’t know if she should tell him she knew about his past or not.
After she’d returned from shopping, she’d spent some time reading articles about the scandal Bryan had been involved in. Evidently it had been huge news over in Europe, but at the time, she’d been recovering from her injuries, so she hadn’t really been paying attention to anything other than getting better. For months Bryan’s handsome face had appeared on one cover after another, usually poorly photoshopped to include cringing women with big, fake tits at his feet.
The paparazzi he’d had to deal with must have been insane. There were pictures of him each time he left his house. When he went to a restaurant to have lunch with friends, there was an image of the paparazzi pressed against every available window to the point where the police had to be called for fear of the glass shattering. She’d found an article where some reporter had stolen Bryan’s garbage and gone through it bit by bit, cataloging the contents and speculating on its use as a possible BDSM implement.
Even worse, people came out of the woodwork to sell their stories to the papers. Oh, she doubted very much that most of them had even met Bryan, but there were a few that had the ring of a true story. She wondered if any of his friends had sold him out to the paparazzi. Having his life destroyed and dissected for public consumption must have been horrible, not to mention the shunning he’d received. The British aristocracy had basically disavowed him. Before the scandal, he’d been the dangerous party boy everyone loved. Afterward, he was a woman-beating pariah.
No wonder he’d come to the States and joined Wicked. At least there he knew his privacy would be protected. There were a few articles about him after he left for America, but new scandals had grabbed the headlines, and he’d fallen into obscurity.
She’d had more than her share of the media hounding her when she’d been a movie star, but much like Bryan, once the public interest in her had waned, the tabloids moved on to more popular targets. At the time, she hadn’t minded the media. After all, any press was good press when she was trying to break into acting. Now, she was only photographed for the society columns at different dreadfully dull social events.
Chewing her lower lip, she scrolled through her contacts until she came to Bryan’s. Even though she didn’t want to, and would much rather pretend nothing had changed, she had to tell him. He was always going on and on about honesty, and if he knew something like this about her, she’d be hella pissed he hadn’t let her know. Besides, as much as she hated to admit it, her trust in him had changed.
The whipping he’d given that woman had been fierce, far more than Kira could ever take. While she didn’t watch the part where they’d had sex—the thought of seeing Bryan with another woman made her crazy jealous—she couldn’t help but wonder if he wasn’t getting what he needed from her. She still hadn’t been able to overcome her fear of being penetrated enough to please him like a woman should please her man.
Now self-disgust mixed with her worry, and she pressed the button to call him.
After two rings, his deep, British-accented voice warmed her from the inside out. “Hello, Kira.”
“I know you’re the Baron de Sade.” She winced, mentally kicking herself in the ass for her totally unsmooth move. “I mean—”
“I know what you mean.” His voice was like ice, a bitter breeze across her soul. “Is that why your sister was so hostile towards me?”
“Yes.” She curled up further in the chair until she was in a fetal position. “I’m sorry.”
“As am I. It was a pleasure working with you, Kira. I hope you find a trainer who can help you.”
“No! Wait! I don’t want to stop seeing you.”
Silence came from the other end, and she wondered if he’d hung up before he finally said, “Did you see the video?”
“Yes, well, not all of it. I couldn’t stand to watch you have sex with her. You know, stupid female jealousy and all that.” This had to be the most awkward conversation she’d ever had. “Look, Bryan, what happened to you was fucked up, and if I ever see that skank, I’ll snatch her bald, but it doesn’t change how I feel about you.”
Some of the warmth came back to his voice, but it was still tight. “And how do you feel about me?”
Once again her big mouth got her in trouble.
“I, well, I like you. You know, like, for real like you.” Silence from the phone. “You…you make me feel good. Safe.”
He gave a harsh laugh. “You expect me to believe that?”
“Of course.” She frowned and picked at the edge of the chair.
“Tell me. What did your sister say when she found out?”
Swallowing hard, she tried for a modified version of the truth, not wanting to hurt his feelings. “She was a little worried I was dating an abusive man.”
“Exactly. To your sister, to everyone who loves you, I’m a dangerous psychopath who hurts women. They will and should do everything in their power to protect you from me.” His voice grew tighter, more intense. “We should stop our training right now. I don’t want to be responsible for driving a wedge between you and your family.”
“You don’t want to see me anymore?” She hated how wounded and little-girl-like her voice sounded, but damn, the thought of never being with him again hurt.
“I know what’s best for you.”
Some anger pushed back the hurt, her temper flaring. “That’s rather high-handed of you.”
“What do you mean?”
“Look, I agree that in the bedroom, dungeon, whatever, you hold the upper hand, but you don’t get to decide what is right or wrong for me. I’m a grown woman, Bryan, and I’ve always been in control of my destiny. If you don’t want to see me anymore, fine.” Her voice broke on the last word, and she swallowed back tears. Not tears of sorrow but of anger. “But don’t you for one fucking minute think that it’s because I don’t want to be with you. Your past doesn’t change who
you are to me now. Well, right now you’re acting like an imperious asshole, but I mean when you’re not being like this. I know you’re a good man, and I trust you.”
“I wish I could believe that. You deserve someone you can have a normal relationship with. A man you wouldn’t be ashamed of.”
“I’m not ashamed of you.”
“Easy to say that now. But what about when you’re out with me and someone takes a picture that ends up splashed all over the news? I haven’t been out in public with a woman since I left England in order to spare her the humiliation of being the Baron de Sade’s next victim.”
“Oh, please. That’s old news! Besides, I’ve already been there and done that. You’re not the only one the paparazzi has stalked. I had pictures taken of me topless sunbathing and smoking a joint down in Brazil. If you think my parents didn’t hit the roof about that, you’re crazy.”
“A youthful indiscretion is far different than being accused of being an abusive monster. Do you know what it’s like to have everyone you know, people you’ve spent your entire life with, look at you with a mixture of horror and disgust? That is what could very well happen to you if we take this any further. I care about you too much to subject you to that, and it kills me that I can’t protect you from the paparazzi. I won’t let your life become evil-spirited gossip fodder for the masses.”
He sounded so sad. She wished he was here so she could alternately hug him and choke him. “Don’t you get it? I’m not some fragile flower that is going to wilt at the first sign of adversity. I can handle it.”
“I don’t want you to have to handle things. Your life is hard enough without adding my demons to it. I’ll help you find a good sadist who will be able to get you past your block and be the kind of man you wouldn’t be ashamed to be seen with in public.”
“Please don’t give up on me. I need you. I don’t want anyone else as my Master. I want you.”
Once again silence from his side of the phone, but she’d be damned if she was going to break it first. Yeah, she knew he was probably still a head case about being betrayed, but everyone had their issues from the past. At the end of the day, it came down to one thing: either a person was strong enough to let the past go and move on, or they were doomed forever to be stuck in an endless loop of memories. Shit, look at her. She’d been stuck in that loop but had made the decision to try to break free of her fear of sex by whatever means necessary.