That they never should have started this whole thing, because he wasn’t sure how he was ever going to end it.
And a life with a mortal would surely result in a lot of questions when he never began to age.
Nightmares always remained in their prime. Something most people would consider a dream, though he and his brothers knew differently.
Standing outside of everyone, unable to taste, enjoy, love as others did, made life miserable no matter how good-looking you were.
Especially when you knew the ugliness that lay inside. The monster.
“Sometimes I think you’re going to explode if you hold everything in like that.”
“And what about you?” He desperately needed to turn the tables on her, to stop thinking about himself and his predicament. “I hardly know anything about you, apart from the fact that you’re a hard-hitting journalist, or at least want to be.” He grinned dryly. “What made you the way you are? Why do you hate men, rich men in particular?”
She frowned and placed a hand on the table, rubbing it worriedly. “Anyone who wants to know about me can use Google.” Her eyes were shuttered when she looked up at him. “So go ahead.”
He shook his head warily. “I would rather hear it from you. Why don’t we go out today? Spend the day together and see what we can learn about each other. For every question you answer, I’ll answer one you ask.”
“Fair enough,” she said quietly. “Though, now I’m not sure if I want to play.”
“Up to you. Interacting with me was always a risk. I’m sure on some level you’re aware of that.”
The air between them seemed to buzz with danger, still-taut sexual tension, and something else he couldn’t put a finger on.
Fear?
“Fine,” she said, pulling her robe around her. “I just need to change and I’ll be ready. I’ll meet you back here in a half hour. Decide where you want to go.”
Then she headed for her room.
“Oh, it’s my choice today? Goody,” he called after her mockingly.
But deep down he was unsettled. Though he was excited to spend more time with her, it meant a full day of dodging her questions about anything that mattered while pretending to be honest.
He liked Lillian. He hated lying to her. He hated his life in the darkness and longed to join her in the light.
Given all that, how long could he keep this up?
Hopefully, just long enough to keep her safe and let her go to someone who could love her and give her everything he couldn’t.
Hopefully, when that happened, he wouldn’t try to burn the world to the ground.
Chapter 18
Lillian decided they should start the day by going to her apartment to see if any more threats had been made.
It felt odd driving up to her apartment complex, seeing how small and cramped it felt compared to Nathan’s mansion.
But as she walked up the stairs, Nathan following behind protectively, she felt the familiar sensation of home, a warm stirring that made her want to be inside.
That was until she saw the door was cracked.
She opened it and was about to peek in when she was roughly shoved aside by Nathan, who blocked her with his body as he walked in, shutting the door rudely behind him.
A few minutes later, when he seemed to decide it was safe, he opened the door for her.
“Whoever it was, they’re gone now,” he said. “Any idea what they were looking for?”
She looked at the living room, noting that no one had stolen her TV or computer or anything, but things were moved around. “Maybe they were trying to figure out where I was?”
Nathan nodded, putting both hands in his suit pockets. Though they weren’t going into work today, he was wearing his typical outfit, a tailored gray suit that fit his buff, lean body to perfection. “I agree.” He looked around them. “What do you want to do about it?”
“I think at this point I should call the police. I mean, they could fingerprint it.”
He stiffened slightly and then nodded. She wasn’t sure if she’d offended him, but at this point, there was only so much he could do since he wasn’t an actual vigilante.
Nathan walked into the kitchen and sat at the table with his phone, taking notes about something, while Lillian walked into her living room to dial the police.
When they picked up, she described what happened, that she’d been the victim of a break-in and received a threat, and they’d agreed to send over an officer to check out the place.
Nathan, meanwhile, seemed to be pouting in the kitchen.
She walked in and sat down at the table across from him. “What’s wrong?”
“So much for our day getting to know each other. Now it’s going to be totally taken up with cop business. Humans can’t do anything efficiently,” he muttered, more to himself than her.
“You mean cops?”
He glanced up at her, blue eyes glinting with irritation. “Yes. Why?”
“You said humans.” A weird prickle of unease crept up her neck. “Almost like you aren’t one.”
“That’s ridiculous,” he said. But he said no more on the subject and stayed focused on his phone until the police arrived.
The cop was a woman, to Lillian’s pleasant surprise, and insisted on speaking to Lillian alone in her room, jotting down any relevant details.
“What about the man down there? Do you think he could have anything to do with this?” the cop asked.
Lillian shook her head. “I don’t think so.”
“But that’s… that’s Nathan Lancaster.”
Lillian raised an eyebrow, then nodded quietly. “But why does that matter?”
The cop flipped through some notes and then held them up to Lillian. “To be honest, he’s someone we’ve been looking into.”
“Why?”
The cop tucked the notepad away and studied Lillian carefully, as if trying to decide how much she should tell her. “We’re still in the middle of an investigation, and we haven’t had any real reason to talk to him that has gotten us past his lawyer, but there have been a few suspicious… incidences.”
“Oh?” Lillian felt her heart begin to pound. Finally, she was getting something juicy on Nathan Lancaster, but… she no longer wanted there to be anything wrong with him.
He seemed to have enough he was dealing with and seemed to be a genuinely good person.
“Just a couple times he was one of the last people seen with a missing person. Could be nothing. Mere coincidence.” The cop shrugged. “Bad luck.”
“Or it could be something more,” Lillian led, hoping to hear more of the cop’s insight.
“I mean, we could use someone on the inside to give us some info.”
“Nathan’s just a friend of mine,” Lillian said. “I’m not here to spy on him.” She was there to investigate him, sure, but that meant asking open questions. Not spying.
“I see,” the cop said, standing slowly, reluctant to leave. “I mean. I get it. He’s a gorgeous guy. But just be careful.” She looked at the room, which was still a bit ransacked. “Are you sure he’s not involved in this?”
“I’ve been staying with him this whole time,” Lillian said.
The cop looked at her meaningfully. “Since when?”
“Since I got the first note and thought someone was following me…”
“And why didn’t you call the police?”
Because he told me not to. Lillian pressed her lips together, but the cop seemed to have read her all the same.
The cop handed her a card with her number written on the back. “If you hear anything, need anything, or just feel unsafe and want to talk, let me know.”
The cop’s phone rang just then, and she picked it up. “I gotta take this. Anyway, I’ll take the stuff I bagged back to work. Run it for prints. Unless there’s anything else you need.”
She needed to know what else they were trying to figure out about Nathan, but not badly enough to agree to be a spy.
So she quickly stood aside and let the cop go past her.
As they walked downstairs, the cop once again made sure she had her number, gave a nervous wave to Nathan, and then headed outside.
Nathan cocked his head at Lillian curiously, looking concerned. Did her shock at the police investigating him still show on her face? If it did, should she be honest with him?
There were two Nathans to her now. The one that had held her tenderly last night, stroked her and loved her and made her feel like the most beautiful, cherished woman on Earth.
And then there was the Nathan now, sitting quietly in her kitchen, blank expression looking like he could hold all the secrets of the world without flinching.
And what did the cop mean about missing persons?
But she really couldn’t think about that now. She’d already realized she’d been wrong in thinking bad things about Nathan because he showed up at accident scenes. Perhaps he just had really good intuition. But everything she’d seen with him pointed to the fact that he liked to help other people.
She couldn’t imagine him hurting them.
She slumped in a chair, running her hand through her hair.
“What’s wrong?” Nathan asked. “Do you want to cancel our day together? I could help you clean up here.”
“No,” she said firmly. “The last thing I want is to sit here and think about someone going through my stuff. We should head out.”
Nathan helped her with her jacket and led the way to the front door. “What did the cop say?”
She glanced sidelong at him, wondering what he was thinking. It was always impossible to tell. Yet he felt so warm and tall and strong and reassuring next to her. How could she have ever thought him bad?
She’d seen him save Sasha. He could have just as easily driven by and pretended not to notice. As he could with the robbery he’d stopped. And having her over to his place to protect her.
She decided to tell him the truth. “They suspect you,” she said quietly.
“Why?”
“Because I told her it started shortly after I began working with you.”
“That doesn’t mean it has anything to do with me.”
“But you think it does.”
“I think it could be someone attached to me. Could be crazy Bill for all I know, since he’s decided I’m the apocalypse. But someone attached to me doesn’t mean me.”
“Apparently… Uh, never mind.” Seeing his frank blue eyes studying her, she didn’t have the heart to tell him what the police suspected. She didn’t have enough info anyway.
He took her hand and pulled her to a stop. “No, tell me. I thought we were going to have no secrets.”
She jerked her hand away. “Excuse me? No. I’m pretty sure you’ve told me from the start there would be tons of secrets. Why should I have to be open with you?”
He grabbed her hand again, this time squeezing it gently. Warmth moved through her, a connection she had no business feeling when she really barely knew this man.
But then again, she did know him. Sometimes she felt she knew him better than other people, just by looking in his eyes.
Sometimes she saw so much pain there. Other times he seemed so calm.
She supposed she could set the stage in being honest and forthright. “They wanted me to spy on you.”
He went rigid. “And you said?”
“I said no, of course. I’m a journalist. I want information on you, but I want to get it openly. I’m no spy.”
He relaxed visibly. “This is why I hate the police. They always latch onto the wrong person and miss the nightmare creature right under their nose.”
“Nightmare creature?”
He shrugged. “Figure of speech. Serial killer. Arsonist. The bad guy gets away, and instead, they question good Samaritans like me who just happen to stay and make sure everyone is all right before leaving. If I was a douchebag, I would have run before the police were there. I’m not sure why they don’t get that.”
She followed him down the rest of the stairs, and they headed for his car still parked out front. “I suppose because any suspect is better than no suspect. So I guess I’m not the first person to doubt you?”
He shook his head, and when his blue eyes met hers, he looked abashed. “But definitely the first person who isn’t a cop who ever looked at me with suspicion.”
“Hm.”
He opened the car door for her, and she got in, thinking quickly about what she should ask next.
“They said you were seen around missing people.”
“I don’t doubt it,” he said.
“How can you answer that so easily?”
He turned in his chair. “Someone is always the last person to be around someone who vanishes. Because guess what? The person who made them vanish, they were smart enough to not be seen. If they can make someone go missing, why can’t they make themselves disappear, too? And sure, the police may see my face in a crowd, for unrelated reasons, but that doesn’t mean anything.”
She nodded. “You have to admit there are some weird things about you, though. Things that might set someone off.”
“Like what?”
“Like showing up at crime scenes. Like compulsively ending up in the right place to rescue someone…”
“So I’m weird because I’m awesome?” He sent her a cocky grin, seeming more like his usual laid-back self for the first time since last night.
“I mean, maybe awesome. But not if you’re staging things so you can save people from them.”
He snorted, wrinkling his nose. “That’s rich. As if I would have to stage disasters just to rescue people in this fucked-up world.”
“Hey, the world isn’t that bad.”
He turned more in his chair, making the leather crinkle loudly. “Oh, really? Then tell me why you’re so mad at it? Why you’re so suspicious of everyone. The truth is you can’t blame the cops because you think the worst of me as well.”
“I did,” she said. “But I don’t anymore. I… Yes. There are things in my past that make me distrust authority and maybe men, too. And I realize that you’re not a bad person. But there is still a lot I don’t understand about you, though I am trying to.”
“I see.”
“It would help if you would tell me.”
“Let’s go to the beach,” he said quietly. “We can talk there. Keep our bargain from earlier. Tit for tat.”
She smiled, blushing. “I can do that.”
“I didn’t mean it literally,” he said, putting the car in drive and pulling out of the parking lot.
“Is it bad that I wished you did?”
He gave her a glare, and she let out a giggle. And for just a few moments, things were fine between them. Her apartment wasn’t ransacked, he didn’t disappear at midnight, and there weren’t missing people that made the cops investigate Nathan.
All was well with the world.
Chapter 19
“When you said the beach, I kind of thought we would just sit on the sand like anyone else,” Lillian said, walking out onto the veranda of the ocean-view suite Nathan had insisted on renting for the afternoon.
Moments like these made him glad he was rich enough to do whatever he wanted without even having to think about it.
It was one of the few ways fate had been kind.
He’d already ordered room service and was sipping on a mimosa as he handed her one as well. Then he took a seat on one of the comfy chairs on the veranda, gesturing for her to do the same.
“It’s cold and wet out there,” he said. “I think it probably rained earlier this morning. Besides, we aren’t really known for our beaches.”
She nodded, looking out at the shoreline with him.
Despite it being the weekend, no one was out swimming. A few brave souls appeared to be trying to surf in wetsuits, but that was it.
All in all, it was a cold, gray day, which kind of fit with his mood.
She took the chair he’d offered and si
pped her drink as they watched clouds move across the sun, sending rays of bright light through the shades of gray. “I think it’s nice. Thank you.”
“So you aren’t going to turn me in to the police?”
“For what?”
“Kidnapping you?”
She laughed. “What are you talking about?”
“Given that they think I might be related to the stalking, I’m guessing they think it was an excuse to make you live with me.”
“I’m sure the thought might have occurred to them,” she said quietly. “But I know that’s not true.”
“How?” Nathan said, exasperated. “Because a few days ago, you seemed to think I was the worst person in the world. Now you’ve met actual professionals who might share that statement, yet you now disagree.”
She just sipped her drink quietly. “People are allowed to change their minds. I’ve seen you do nothing but good.” She sighed as she looked out at the ocean, angry and churning. “I guess you’re the perfect guy everyone says you are, save for being a little weird.”
“So what do you think of me now?”
She sipped at her drink and inwardly cursed when she found she was at the bottom. “I just… don’t know what to think anymore.”
“What did you think of last night?”
“I thought it was wonderful,” she said honestly. “I only wish it hadn’t… ended.”
“Right,” he said nervously. “I was worried you’d take it badly.”
“I didn’t,” she said, sitting up slightly. “No, really, you set up the right expectations up front. It’s just… I hadn’t expected to enjoy it as much as I did.” She worked her straw with her lips. “But I mean… I’m sort of looking forward to more of it.”
His heart began racing, and suddenly he was glad the monster was asleep and satisfied so he could feel totally aware and in control.
At least until he had to feed again.
“There’s a suite here,” he said quietly. “And a bed.”
She laughed, punching him lightly in the arm. He didn’t mind. He liked the feistiness in her. It matched all the suppressed fire in him. “Not so fast. You said we were going to talk. I can’t exactly ask intelligent questions if you’ve fucked my brains out.”
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