“Forget it. Trust me. I know my habits. No matter who cleans up after me, it will look just the same within a week. Still want to watch the movie with me even though I am a horrible housekeeper?”
“Yeah, just do me a favor and don’t help me with my room,” she chuckled, and then stopped. Looking at him with confusion, she said, “Wait, you helped me with the cleaning in the den before, what was that?”
Mackenzie had sat on the now clear bed and handed Geoff the movie. He began setting up the system and spoke without taking his eyes off the machines in front of him.
“That was me helping out the new girl. I do my chores just like everyone else, but our rooms are ours. So I do as I please in here.”
“Yeah, about that, how did you get out of sharing?”
The bed beside her dipped when Geoff sat down. Even though more than five feet of open space existed between them, he sat close enough that their legs touched.
“I’m sort of third in rank in the pack. Margret then Peter, who stays in the California house, then me.”
“Wow, so that’s why I’m off limits.” Mackenzie looked away, feeling really dumb for thinking she ever had a chance. Chemistry or not, for all intents and purposes, he was a boss and she was an underling.
“Why would you say that? Did Margret say something to you?” His hand reached over and took hers, lacing their fingers together. Turning his body toward her, his eyes darted about her face. Mackenzie could only think he was searching for answers.
“Not to me. I heard her that day with you. Then earlier when she freaked over seeing you in my room.”
“She isn’t happy with the idea of you and me. She thinks I’m letting my “male urges” rush me into things. In our world, we have hundreds of years to decide who will be our mate. We don’t rush into things. And Margret doesn’t believe in ‘lustful unions’ as she calls it.”
“Lustful unions?” Mackenzie couldn’t help but laugh loudly at that. “She seriously thinks sex without being in a long-term, committed relationship is a bad thing. I guess that makes sense, old school views for a woman who is hundreds of years old.”
“You realize I’m old school, too, right? I have no intentions, no matter how tempting, of being more than your friend while we get to know each other. Even if those friends make it clear we are looking to someday be more by doing this,” he held up their joined hands, “or by spending time together watching a movie alone,” pointing to the screen, “or because of this,” and he leaned in and softly placed his lips upon her cheek. “Is that okay?”
Barely being able to speak, she breathed out, “Perfectly.”
The two went from sitting up watching the movie, to laying on their stomachs, to on their backs with Mackenzie’s head on his chest and his arm wrapped around her, laying sideways along the bed to see the movie.
As comfortable as she was, she couldn’t stop thinking about Liam. She knew she was crazy for worrying about another man when she was wrapped around Geoff, but she couldn’t help it.
“Do you think Liam will hate me forever?”
“No. He will see that, while he may not have pictured his life going this way, you gave him a gift.”
Pushing herself up, so she could see his face, she said “A gift? How the hell is this a gift? I ruined his life. He may learn to live with it, to make it work, but it’s no gift.”
Mackenzie could see the anger cross his face, and the breath he took before sitting up himself. He stood from the bed and paced back and forth for a minute that felt like an hour before turning to her.
“You are still young. This life? This is a gift. If you still think so horribly about what you are, and you despise it so, what are you doing here with me? Can’t have a human because you know you can’t be around them? You already nearly broke a little girl, killed another, and now changed a third. Is your interest in me just because you know you won’t kill me?”
“Damn it! NO! And do you have to fucking throw that shit in my face? You don’t think I think about that all the damn time? Why would a life that has me hurting and killing people be a gift? Why would turning into a fucking wolf and not being able to control what I do, or even remember it, be a gift? Do you honestly think I would forgive the one who turned me? I had just hoped that by trying to be there for Liam he would maybe forgive me. I asked you because you have been around a long ass time and seen plenty. I know that Natalie gave in to Teresa, but is that normal? But, instead of answering my questions, you go off on me.”
Geoff didn’t answer her. He began pacing again, back and forth, turning and looking at her like he was going to speak, then shaking his head and pacing again.
“Would you stop and talk to me?” Mackenzie had lowered her voice so she wasn’t yelling anymore. She really didn’t want to fight but she just had no idea how turning Liam would in any way make his life better.
“Think of it this way, you gave him friends and family that won’t die for hundreds of years. You gave him strength and speed. Once he learns to control it, you gave him a new outlook on life. I promise you, once you can control your wolf, you will appreciate this world more than ever before. By turning him, you made our pack stronger. When he comes back to us—and he will—our pack will have one stronger male to defend it. Accidents happen and with the other packs wanting our territory, the more members we have the better. Can we just finish the movie, please?”
Geoff lay back on the bed, but instead of cuddling up to his side again, Mackenzie stayed sitting up, arms wrapped around her knees and stared at the screen although she no longer paid attention to the movie.
~*~
Catcalls and howls followed by rapid knocks on the door woke Mackenzie from her sleep. Groggily, she rubbed her eyes and rolled over, coming face to face with Geoff. Jumping up she looked around and realized she had fallen asleep in Geoff’s room. In his bed. With him. She was thankful for the fact that they were both still fully dressed. With the swirling emotions the night before, she wouldn’t have been surprised if she had mauled him in the middle of the night, acting out her very graphic dream.
She reached out and hit his chest to wake him. “Geoff!” When his only response was to mumble and throw his arm across the bed, she picked up a pillow and hit him in the head. Safe and effective while still allowing her to keep her distance— a good two feet away.
“Gah! What was that for?” Rolling over to finally look at her, Geoff heard the sounds being shouted about in the hallway and sat up. “Shit.”
“Yeah, shit. What the hell am I going to do? They all think that we slept together, Of course, they do. We came in holding hands, shut the door, and never left. What else will they think?”
“That we fell asleep watching a movie?”
“FAT CHANCE OF THAT!” One of the boys from the hallway called. “We heard the moans in the middle of the night!”
Mackenzie’s face flushed as she recalled her dream. It was very likely that they did indeed hear moans. She had always been very vocal in her sleep, either talking or crying or moaning. No one ever wanted to share a room with her.
Geoff looked to her and tilted his head to the side, silently mouthing the word moans at her in question to what they were talking about. Not wanting to admit to having those kinds of dreams, she shrugged her shoulders, hoping he would buy it. If she was flushed with embarrassment at the accusation, it didn’t mean she was admitting anything.
“Shut it, Rob! And mind your own damn business!” Geoff called out. Mackenzie could hear the groans of disappointment from the boys being told their fun was over and the retreating footsteps that followed signaling the coast was clear.
“Thank you.”
“Don’t worry about it, and I will have a talk with them about manners later. Ready for some breakfast?”
“I think I should change clothes at least.”
“You are probably right. Give me a minute to change and I will walk you out?”
Not wanting to leave him just yet, despite their argumen
t, she nodded and watched him walk into the bathroom.
Wandering around his room, carefully treading as to not accidentally step on something or trip and fall flat on her face, she looked around, hoping to see something to tell her more about Geoff. He had pictures tacked to the wall and by the type of photos, she could tell he had been collecting for a while. One photo was placed inside a plastic zip lock bag before being tacked to the wall. It was sepia toned and faded. The edges were slightly damaged and the clothing Geoff and the other man wore in the picture screamed early nineteen hundreds. To say that freaked her out a bit was an understatement, but to look through them all and kind of see his life unfold, with the same people throughout, it was no wonder he felt that the bonds made were a gift.
The side of his bedpost had carvings into it. No pictures, just notches. If she didn’t know him better she would assume the worst and think the thirty-two slashes was evidence of former lovers. Her fingers traced the lines, feeling the rough wood on some and the obviously older and more worn marks on others.
“What are you doing?” Geoff asked from behind her, startling her enough to make her jump, then effectively, trip. He reached out and caught her in his arms, just before she hit the floor.
“Thanks. I was just taking a look around. That is okay, right?”
“Yeah. I told you we all make mistakes and have accidents when turned. Those are my mistakes. Thirty-two of them over my lifetime. You won’t ever forget who you have harmed Mackenzie, but you will learn how to manage the after math and forgive yourself. You wouldn’t blame a wolf for attacking a deer, or a bear for a fish. A Werewolf craves human blood. As a bitten Were, you will crave more than a born. It is just the way it is. Come on. Let's get you to your room.”
“I think I might go alone. I don’t need everyone on the girl’s floor watching my every move, too.” In all honesty, she just needed to be alone to think. Another bomb had just been dropped on her and she had no idea what to do with it. Had those mistakes been kills or new pack members?
Chapter 19
A week had passed since the night she had spent with Geoff. Seven full days of friendship that bordered on the line of something more and it was driving Mackenzie insane. They would hold hands one minute, and then he would find something more interesting and ditch her the next. He would walk her to her room and kiss her cheek goodnight, but would never allow himself to brush his lips against hers.
Mackenzie and Geoff sat on the couch in the den late one night, the only light filling the room was from the fireplace, the glow of the Christmas tree lights, and the television. Mackenzie couldn’t concentrate on the explosion of cars on the screen, only the ones going off inside of her, begging her to grab his hand. She was growing steadily more tired of only being his friend.
Perhaps with Christmas just around the corner she could get around the house’s no gift policy and give Geoff herself. But really, that would be more of a gift for her than for him.
Giving herself a mental pep talk, she bit her lip, held her breath, and reached out, taking his hand in hers. She waited for him to pull away and reject her as he had before when she attempted to be bold and kiss him first, but he didn’t. He looked over and smiled at her, squeezed her hand and turned back to the television. Letting out the breath she had been holding for far too long, she settled into the couch, and into his side.
They stayed that way for another hour, and while Mackenzie wished she could stay there forever, her growling stomach made Geoff chuckle and pull away.
“Mack, go grab some food. I can pause the movie. Can you bring me back a soda?”
“That’s probably a good idea. And yeah, gimme a minute.” Standing and stretching her arms above her head, she felt her shirt rise and expose a small expanse of her stomach. Geoff had not seen any more of her skin than the rest of the house since the day in her bedroom, but for whatever reason, she saw that he couldn’t pull his eyes from the little sliver of skin that had peeked through.
Quickly pulling her shirt back down, as she was still very self-conscious about certain aspects of her body even with the wolfy genetics making her leaner than she had been, Geoff turned back to the movie and Mackenzie left the room as quickly as she could. When he looked at her like that, the friendship boundary seemed ridiculous. They were adults, and it’s not like the rest of the house had a no sex rule. She heard more moans and bangs than she ever did living in the apartments back at college. She wondered if it were his position more than his honor that kept them apart. He may be from a different era, but he had lived through a good number of all the progressions, too. He had to have picked something up from that.
Mackenzie was lost in her thoughts of Geoff, and how to call an end to the friendship truce when the front door swung open, banging against the wall behind it. Without any lights on in the entryway, all she could see was the outline of a tall figure filling the doorframe and her heart raced with adrenaline at the possibility of a fight.
“YOU!” The figure bellowed. Mackenzie lost her fight in the ‘fight or flight’ mechanism in her brain and began retreating, hoping Geoff would hear and come out of the den. Most of the others were either playing video games or already in bed, but she would take anyone to stand beside her in that moment.
“Me? Who are you?” Mackenzie yelled at him. The footsteps coming from three separate directions let her know that she had been heard and wasn’t going to be alone for much longer. Thank goodness for family. If only Margret was there, but it was Alaska’s turn to have the pack leader residing with them.
Laughing without a bit of humor, he stepped into the house and flipped the light switch that was just next to the coat rack. When the light illuminated the area, Mackenzie had to hide her eyes before adjusting to the new brightness, but when she was able to pull her hand away, she saw that Liam had returned and he was standing directly in front of her.
She heard the others arrive behind her and instantly felt better about standing so close. He was angry and he had every right to be. She also knew that when she was getting used to her new body, there was no controlling the temper or the strength that came with it.
“I really am sorry, Liam. I know that isn’t enough. I know it doesn’t matter that I had no control over what happened and have no memory of it. You have every right to be angry, but everyone here can help you. I will be here if you need anything—need to just talk, or to yell and scream, even. I can answer what I know, but the truth is I am still learning, too.”
“Why would I want to talk to you?” His hand shot out faster than she had anticipated and gripped her neck. His fingers pressed into her skin so tightly that it cut off her breathing. Her hands went on top of his, trying with all her strength to remove them, but the fear inside her didn’t allow her to concentrate. “You bit me. You tore my flesh from my bones. You ate pieces of me! Then you bring me here to make me heal instead of letting me die like I should have—as a human! Why can’t I die?”
As he shouted, she felt herself being lifted up, when her feet no longer were on the ground, her air supply was completely gone. Knowing she wouldn’t die from strangulation didn’t help when her brain still told her that breathing was important. Finally, she fell to the ground and was pulled back by Teresa, holding her tightly in a hug while Geoff and Mason restrained Liam.
Rubbing her throat, Mackenzie finally realized what he had said. “What do you mean, why can’t you die?”
“Forget it, just let me go. I can’t be here around her without turning into a fucking monster and attacking a woman, if she is still even considered that.”
Completely insulted, she left the room to allow the boys to handle Liam. Teresa walked with her all the way to their room with an arm around her.
~*~
The next morning, Mackenzie stayed in her room. She didn’t want the looks and whispers as she walked by and she certainly didn’t want the questions. She wasn’t okay. She thought she was getting better. She was able to only think about Liam once a day until h
e stormed in the night before reminding her exactly how bad things were. Since then, she could only think of Liam and how to get to the point of being able to be in the same room together, without him trying to kill her. At least not until he learned more about werewolves and only then, if he didn’t try to off himself first.
While she despised everything she had done since turning, she never once honestly considered trying to kill herself. Just the thought of dying scared the bejesus out of her. The fact that Liam was so hateful of what he had become that dying was the better option dumbfounded her. But then again, she had considered the idea that he would have been better off if the sun had just waited another minute to rise, allowing him as he put it, to die as a human. She too hated what she was, but she didn’t want to die.
The door behind her opened and Natalie came in carrying a banana and a yogurt. She set it on Mackenzie’s desk then joined her in her little book nook, staring out the window at the trees in silence.
“He’s still here,” she said eventually without looking away from the window. Worry sank Mackenzie’s heart and stomach and tears tried to spring from her eyes. She deserved his hate, but it didn’t make it any easier to handle.
“Oh. Well, I guess that is a good thing. He can figure out how to handle everything from the start.”
“You can’t stay in here forever. He knows you live here and he chose to stay, just don’t be surprised if he is pretty quiet when you’re around. The strength and stuff kicked in pretty wicked this week, I guess. His little brother had to be taken to the hospital. Broke his arm by accident while arm wrestling. He was even trying to be gentle and let the little guy win.”
Mackenzie couldn’t help it. The tears flowed from her eyes and she wasn’t able to stop it. Wiping them away, she growled out and threw the book she was reading across the room.
“Damn it. His brother’s arm is my fault even if he is the one who did it. I bit him. So I guess I get to add that to the list of fuck-ups that are now piling up on my life list. I don’t want to keep crying. How did you do it? How did you forgive Teresa for changing you? How are you so put together after the last moon?” Mackenzie had yet to bring up Natalie’s wolf night, but she had to ask. She couldn’t control her emotions and Natalie seemed to be doing perfectly okay.
The Tempering (The Mackenzie Duncan Series) Page 13