A knot lodged in her throat. “Thanks.”
They got in their cars and each waited to make sure their engines started, before backing out and pulling into the alley, then turning onto East Exchange—the main drag of the Fort Worth Stockyards.
Strength. God give me strength to give this baby up.
At the stoplight, Tori slipped her hands-free headset into place. “Call Brant.”
The fancy phone did its thing and his ringtone started up—“He Set Me Free.” Tori hummed along, trying to calm her nerves as the light changed and she pulled onto the highway.
“Hey.” Brant’s soothing voice came on the line. “You okay?”
“Not really. Can you talk?”
“Sure. I’m just watching Hunter’s basketball moves. Is anything wrong?”
She hadn’t even told him she was thinking about giving the baby up. Why had she called him?
“Tori?”
“I’m giving the baby up for adoption.”
“You’re what?” Surprise echoed in his tone.
“I’m supposed to set up a meeting with Jenna’s cousin Natalie, a possible candidate.” It sounded like politics instead of parenting. “I mean Jenna’s cousin and her husband are possible adoptive parents.”
“When did you decide this?”
“I’ve been thinking about it for a while.” She hit her brake as a car cut in front of her.
“Let me come over. We’ll talk.”
“No. I’m tired and my back hurts.”
“From standing on your feet all day. Raquel had that problem with Hunter.”
“I just want to get in my jammies and lie down.” Her vision blurred and she blinked the tears away.
“When do you plan to set up the meeting?”
“I’ll have to call her and see.”
“Want me to go with you?”
Her insides warmed. Without realizing it, that’s why she’d called him. She needed someone in her corner. Jenna would naturally be torn, but would support her cousin. Tori needed someone to fully support her in this. And she’d known Brant would.
“Would you?”
“Or course. Just let me know when.”
The baby jabbed her ribs. A protest? She patted her stomach. I know what I’m doing, baby. “When’s the best time for you?”
“I’m free most days or any evening on Monday, Tuesday or Thursday.”
“Natalie works days. Lane has his fencing company during the day and works the same rodeos you do, so we should be able work something out.”
“I’ll be on standby.”
“I really appreciate it.” Her vision blurred again.
“Not a problem. I’ll help you any way I can.”
“Thanks. I’ll let you know as soon as I do.” She wanted to keep him on the phone. Just to hear his soothing tone. But he had a life and she was out of things to say. “Talk to you soon.”
How had she rated Brant as a friend? Willing to be on standby for her. A man who sensed what she needed when she didn’t.
But what she wanted was him. As much more than a friend. Did he sense that?
Over the months she’d known Brant, she’d come to realize he wasn’t the typical musician like she’d hung out with. But he still had an aspiration. Could she fit into his megachurch dream?
* * *
Brant hung up and the breath froze in his chest. He sank onto his tailgate.
How could Tori give up her child? Did he have her pegged wrong?
“Uncle Brant, watch this.” Hunter did a clumsy spin and shot the basketball. It bounced off the rim.
“You almost made it.”
The front door opened and Raquel stepped out. “Supper’s ready.”
“Mom, come watch.”
“For a minute. We don’t want the food to get cold.” Raquel descended the steps and joined Brant on the tailgate. The truck barely shifted under her slight weight. She bumped his shoulder with hers. “Hey, you okay?”
“Tori’s giving the baby up for adoption.”
“Why?”
“I don’t know. I wanted to go to her place and talk, but she said she’s tired.”
The fountain Raquel had bought trickled soothing water down the rock ledge. But nothing could ease his soul.
“Maybe she figures the baby would be better off with a mom and dad.”
“Maybe.”
“Kind of nips your fantasy of marrying her and raising her child as your own.”
He turned toward her. “How did you know that?”
“Because you feel like you failed Tiffany. Tori is your chance to make up for it.”
Steam would spew from his ears any minute. Brant slid off the tailgate. “You have no idea what you’re talking about. I love Tori. And because her baby is a part of her, I love the baby. It has nothing to do with Tiffany.”
“Okay, calm down.” Raquel gestured toward Hunter. “I just want you to know, deep down in your gut, you didn’t fail Tiffany. Tiffany failed Tiffany. Okay?”
“I know that. I blamed myself for a long time, but I don’t anymore. I did everything I could for Tiffany.”
“You did.” Raquel patted his shoulder. “But she couldn’t face letting her parents know she was pregnant. And she didn’t love you, which I hate to speak ill of the dead, but that was pure stupidity on her part.”
Her backhanded compliment simmered him down. He leaned his hip against the truck. “Tori isn’t anything like Tiffany. The situation is similar, but that’s all. And if Tori wasn’t pregnant, I’d still love her.”
“If she wasn’t pregnant, everything would be easier. So support her in giving the baby up and you two could have a fresh start.”
“You’re right.”
“So go for it.”
“There’s just one problem.”
“What’s that?”
“I don’t think she really wants to give the baby up.”
“Then why is she?”
“I don’t know.”
But he’d find out. And he’d make sure she made the right decision. For the baby. And for her.
* * *
The meeting was in an hour. Plenty of time. Brant pulled into the lot of the guesthouse and parked.
He grabbed the McDonald’s bag and climbed out.
Before he ever got to the porch, Tori opened the door and his heart took a tumble and landed at her feet.
“What are you doing here? The meeting’s not until seven o’clock.”
“I brought comfort food and I thought we could talk. Have you eaten?”
“No. And I’m starving.” She frowned. “Were you in Fort Worth today?”
“Nope.”
“You drove all the way to Denton? For me?”
“It’s only fifteen minutes.”
Her eyes turned shimmery. “Why are you so nice to me?”
Cause I love you. “Let’s see, I’m a nice guy and you haven’t met up with many of those. So, I figure I need to prove to you that men can be nice and treat a lady right.” He opened the bag. “Maybe if I open it out here, the smell won’t hit you so hard.”
“Thanks.” She hugged herself—small and vulnerable.
He pulled the Filet-O-Fish box out of the bag and opened it. Late July offered no breeze to waft away the slight fishy smell.
Tori stepped inside and he followed—remembering the last time he’d been here. The first night he’d met her and her fire poker. She’d brought out his protective side and his feelings for her had grown from there. If she hadn’t had a black eye that night, would he have fallen for her? If she’d been happy and healthy when they’d met, would he be standing here willing his arms to stay away from her?
He’d always
been tenderhearted. As a kid, he’d nursed wounded animals he found in the woods back to health. Now he nursed wounded people.
Her baby bump was more obvious at five-and-a-half months and made him go all tender inside. Who was he kidding—Tori made him go all tender inside. All by herself.
He set the food on the counter and she tore into it before he could think to bless it. He didn’t want to embarrass her, so he let it go and scanned the house. Exactly as he remembered it. White stucco walls, an Austin stone fireplace, with log beams lining the ceiling. Rustic hardwood floors and leather furnishings. No personal touches, no family pictures, nothing to indicate she really lived there.
Yes it was a guesthouse, but she’d lived here for months, and Jenna wouldn’t mind if she changed it up a bit. But Tori still thought of herself as a temporary guest. When he met her, she’d been battered, frightened and homeless. Now, she was pregnant, frightened and homeless.
“Did you find out if the baby is a girl or a boy yet?”
“No.” Her voice wobbled a bit. “I decided I didn’t want to know. It’s better that way.”
“Why did you decide to give the baby up?”
“Because it’s for the best.”
“Best for who?”
“For the baby.”
“But what about for you?”
“I can’t let myself think that way.” She shook her head.
“Because you don’t want to give the baby up?”
“I have to.”
“Why, if you don’t want to? You’ve got family and friends willing to support you. Your aunt, Jenna, Garrett, me, our church—we’ll all help. You won’t be in this alone, Tori.”
She shook her head again. “I can’t. I can’t keep this baby.”
“Why?” His heart ached at her obvious distress. “You’d be a great mom—just like your mom.”
“Don’t you see?” She set her sandwich down and tears glistened in her eyes. “I can’t protect this baby. Any more than Mom could protect herself from my father.”
“So, you’re giving the baby up because of Russ? He’s in prison.”
“But not forever.”
“No. But Garrett and Jenna can keep you safe. You can stay here with the alarm system.” And someday, I’ll convince you to marry me and I’ll keep you safe.
“I can’t live here sponging off Garrett and Jenna forever.”
“You’re not sponging off them. And even if you were, I think they can afford it. You can pay rent if it bothers you.”
“I’ve tried.” Tori rolled her eyes. “Jenna won’t take anything. But that’s not the point. I want to stand on my own two feet and not have to worry about Russ finding out about the baby. Besides a baby needs a mother and a father. I don’t have that to give.”
I could help you with that. If you’d let me.
“Please, Brant.” A tear spilled down her cheek. “I need you to support me on this. I can’t do it by myself. And I know Aunt Loretta will try to talk me into keeping the baby. But I’ve thought about this and I’ve prayed about it.
“With everything in me, I want to keep this baby. But I have to do what’s right. And sometimes—” her voice cracked “—doing what’s right means giving up what you love most. I need someone I can count on in my corner. To help me through this.”
Her tears fell freely now and Brant handed her a tissue. The tears were the deal breaker. He moved close to the stool where she sat and offered his shoulder.
She let out a watery laugh and laid her head against him.
“I’ll be here for you.” Brant’s arms circled her and he wished he could hold her like this forever. “Whatever you need me to do. I’m with you, Tori.”
“Thanks.” She shuddered, then relaxed against him.
He’d go to the meeting with her. And he’d support her in giving the baby up. But he’d also be hoping she’d fall in love with him. And keep the baby she obviously wanted.
Chapter 11
Seated on Natalie’s overstuffed plush couch in the cozy furnished, modernized farmhouse, Tori had never been so uncomfortable in her life. Brant sat beside her with Natalie and Lane across from her.
“I must say I never really thought about adoption.” Natalie paused.
“I think it’s too soon.” Lane took Natalie’s hand in his.
“So why did you ask Tori to come here?” Brant looked as if he might haul Tori over his shoulder and bolt.
“Just to talk.” Natalie’s voice quivered. “After Jenna told me about your pregnancy, I thought your baby might be the solution to both our problems.”
“My baby isn’t a problem.” Tori pressed her hand to her stomach.
“I’m sorry. That was a poor choice of words.” Natalie’s tone soothed. “Of course your baby isn’t a problem. But the baby’s father is.”
“Yes.”
“Are you positive you want to give your child up?” Lane’s stiff posture and guarded expression advertised he wasn’t convinced. About any of this.
“Yes.” She had no choice.
“If the baby’s father weren’t a threat, would you still want to adopt your child out?”
Tori closed her eyes. “I don’t know.”
“So you are attached to the baby?”
“Of course, she’s attached to the baby.” Natalie touched Tori’s hand, then turned to face Lane. “Literally. And if the father weren’t a jerk, that would change everything. It’s hard to give up a child—trust me, I know.”
“I don’t want you getting your hopes up and then Tori changing her mind at the last minute.”
“I won’t.” Tori worked at keeping her voice steady. “I don’t have that luxury. I have to keep the baby safe from Russ. That’s all I want.”
“I’ve noticed, you say, ‘the baby’.” Lane’s gaze measured Tori—watching her every reaction.
“Once I decided to give the baby up, I stopped saying my.”
The doorbell rang.
“I’ll get it.” Lane stood and strode toward the front of the house.
“You’ll have to excuse Lane, he just doesn’t want me to get hurt.”
“I can understand his point of view.” Brant squeezed Tori’s hand. “I don’t want Tori getting hurt.”
Tori’s gaze pinged to meet his. Lane worried about Natalie because he loved her. Did Brant have feelings for Tori? More than friend feelings?
Lane came back with a little girl in his arms and a woman following them.
“Hannah? Star?” Natalie stood and hurried to the little girl. “Is something wrong?”
“Sissy Nessa got sick.” The little girl scrunched her nose. “It was gross.”
Natalie’s daughter. And Tori had seen the woman in the store. Must be Hannah’s stepmom.
“I don’t want Hannah to get it, so I thought I should bring her over.” The woman set a backpack in a chair and tousled the child’s hair. “Sorry about this, Hannah. But Daddy will come get you as soon as Vanessa gets well.”
“Okay.”
“Sorry to interrupt.” Star turned away.
“I’ll walk you out.” Lane winked at Natalie. “And then I’ll take Hannah to the kitchen.”
As the room cleared, Natalie reclaimed her seat. “I’m so sorry for the interruption.”
“It’s fine.” Tori just wanted all the interruptions to go away, so they could get this settled.
“Maybe we should all do some thinking, anyway.” Natalie shrugged. “And some praying.”
“I get the feeling Lane isn’t sold on the idea of adoption.” Tori stood.
“Trust me, Lane loves Hannah as if she were his own. I wish she was.” Natalie closed her eyes. “But him raising someone’s else’s child is no problem. He’s just scared things will
fall through.”
“Y’all talk about it and call me.” Tori stood up and headed for the front of the house with Brant close behind.
“I will.” Natalie followed. “Thanks for coming.”
Brant ushered Tori out the door and Natalie closed it behind them.
“Well I’m thoroughly confused about what any of this has to do with Star and her daughters,” Brant said.
“You know Star?”
“Her husband, Wyatt, is a bull rider. Hannah and Vanessa are their daughters.”
As they trekked back down the driveway, Tori kicked at the gravel, spewing several missiles. “Hannah is Natalie’s daughter with Wyatt. Natalie and Wyatt happened before he met Star and they were never married. Natalie was a different person then and she gave Wyatt custody of Hannah. But since she turned her life around, she’s part of Hannah’s life now.”
“Sounds complicated.” He matched her stride. “I don’t know about this adoption thing.”
“Me neither.”
He gently grabbed her arm and turned her to face him. “You don’t?”
“I’m sure about giving the baby up. I’m just not sure that Natalie and Lane are on the same page.”
Her ringtone started up—“Done.” Her face warmed. “It’s kind of a reminder.” DONE with men. And she needed the reminder when Brant was around.
“Who is it?”
“Aunt Loretta.” She pressed a button. “Hello?”
“Tori.” Her aunt’s voice sounded strained.
“What’s wrong?”
“Are you alone?”
“No. Brant’s with me. Why?”
“I’m afraid it’s your daddy. His lawyer called me—I guess because I was your legal guardian. Your daddy passed away this morning, honey.”
Her insides twisted. “I’ll be there soon.” She hung up.
“What’s wrong?” Brant gently gripped her shoulders. “You look like you’re about to fall over.”
“My dad. He um...he died.”
“Oh, sweetie.” Brant pulled her into his arms.
Her insides tossed and turned, but her eyes stayed dry. She’d hated her father in the past. And wished he’d die back when her mother was still alive. And now, now that he’d been out of her life for years, now that it didn’t matter one way or the other if he was alive or dead, he was dead. How did she feel about that? She was a Christian now. Shouldn’t she feel something? Like sadness?
Rodeo Family Page 11