I had barely looked up and followed her gaze when Sasha said, "I got this," and stormed off.
I looked to the front of the bar and the liquor turned harshly in my stomach when I saw Cal, Scott, and TJ walking in.
I kept my eyes on them as they all turned to watch Sasha approach. I was sure she shouted something at them, but couldn't hear from where I was sitting.
"Wanna get closer?" Gaby asked.
Sasha in full temper put on a great show.
I shook my head, my eyes locked on the scene before me.
Sasha strode up, hands on hips, and I could tell by the guys’ faces that she was letting them have it. TJ broke away from the group and walked up to get toe to toe with Sasha. I could see the argument intensify. She was shaking her fist at him, and he leaned in to tower over her as he spoke back. Where Sasha was loud and feisty when she was mad, TJ was soft and menacing. They made a magnificent sight.
Gaby and I had a bet in high school over how long it would take before the two of them hooked up. I'd guessed a week, and she'd guessed before graduation. We'd both been wrong. They couldn't see what everyone around them thought was obvious. They were a ticking time bomb.
I looked to the right and frowned when I saw Cal looking at me intently. I hurriedly turned my gaze back to the standoff.
Sasha was throwing her hands in the air, then she turned and stomped back over to us. I watched as the guys walked to the back of the bar, on the opposite side of where we were sitting.
"They're going to stay away from us, but they're staying," Sasha huffed when she got back.
I shrugged. "It's their favorite bar too. It's a small town, Sasha, I won't be able to avoid them."
I was sad that it felt like I had to. I hated to cause this riff between my friends.
"You know, you guys don't have to stop hanging out with them just because Cal and I are separated. They're still your friends too."
They both nodded, but I knew that the issues between Cal and I were bleeding over into our friendships, and I didn't know what I could do to stop it.
Chapter 11 - Cal
She looked so beautiful. It felt like forever since I'd been able to look at her. Just look at her. The guys were talking, but I wasn't paying attention to what they were saying. I was watching Shelly talk and laugh with Gaby and Sasha.
"Is that a nose ring?" I asked softly, not realizing that I was speaking out loud until TJ looked at me and asked, "Huh?"
I tore my gaze away from the girls and looked at my friends.
"It looks like Shelly got a nose ring. A little stud," I replied. "It looks good on her."
"Really?" Scott asked, turning in his seat and straining to see around a couple of big dudes that were in his line of sight.
"Stop being so obvious, man," TJ said, hitting Scott on the arm.
"What?" Scott asked with a scowl. "So, now, in addition to apparently not being allowed in our favorite bar, we aren't allowed to look at the girls either?"
TJ shrugged and I said, "I'm sorry, guys." They both turned their focus on me, eyes wary. "I really messed things up."
"Hey, brother, you don't have to apologize to us," Scott said. "I just don't see why the girls are turning this into a group divorce."
"No one's getting a divorce," I said harshly as I stood up. I suddenly needed to get away from everyone and get some air.
"You aren't leaving, are ya?" TJ asked.
"Hey, I'm sorry," Scott said at the same time. "I didn't mean anything by it."
"I just need air," I said before I turned and walked back out the way we'd come in.
As soon as the air hit me in the face, I started to cool off and calm down a bit.
The thought of Shelly actually going through with the divorce was unbearable to me. I couldn't stomach it. She was the only girl I'd ever loved, and I knew that as long as I lived, she was the only girl I'd ever want to spend my life with.
"Hey, Cal," a high-pitched voice said from my right.
I turned to see Melody Cannon barreling toward me down the sidewalk. Melody had gone to school with us, and had always tried to weasel her way into our group. If I remembered correctly, I think TJ'd slept with her at some point, but it was hard to keep track.
"Oh, hey, Melody," I returned, trying to walk around her. She put her hand on my arm to stop me.
"I was sorry to hear about you and Shelly," she said, looking anything but sorry.
"Shelly and I are fine," I said tightly.
Melody's expression turned confused. "Oh ... I'd heard that you were getting a divorce."
"We are not getting a divorce," I said through gritted teeth. People were really starting to piss me off with this shit.
"But, I hear you’re living separately and selling your house," she replied.
"We're fine, Melody. I'll see you around."
I was ready to go home. Forget the guys’ night out.
I shook Melody's hand off of my arm and started toward my car.
"If you need comfort, or someone to talk to, give me a call, Cal," Melody called out behind me.
Jesus, I thought, but kept walking without dignifying that with a response.
I texted TJ and Scott and told them that I'd left. Scott could give TJ a ride home, since he and I had rode together from work. I knew they'd understand. It was just too much to handle being in the same bar with Shelly and not being able to talk to her, let alone touch her.
I missed my wife.
I let myself into Scott's apartment, putting my keys and wallet on the table by the door. Scott liked everything to be in a certain place. His apartment was neater than any bachelor pad I'd ever seen, but Scott had always been that way.
He'd been raised by strict parents, who believed that kids should be seen and not heard, and had lived in a pretty sterile environment. There were no dinners or sleepovers at Scott's house growing up; we'd always gone to my house for that.
Compared to Scott's family, mine was like something out of the 1950s. My parents were still together, and my brother and I had been raised with a lot of freedom. Mine was usually the house that we all ended up hanging out at, and my parents liked it that way. They loved my friends, and they loved Shelly beyond belief.
I hadn't told them any of it. Not that I moved out, or why, or that Shelly wanted a divorce. I didn't have the heart to break theirs, and I was also horribly ashamed to tell them about Vegas. I knew how disappointed they would be in me. Especially my mom. I knew I'd have to tell them eventually, but I just wasn't ready yet. It was hard enough letting Shelly down, I couldn't handle my family's reaction.
I sat down on the couch that had become my bed, and picked up the remote. I turned it to ESPN and settled back, not really paying attention. I looked around Scott's place, and felt the sudden urge to mess something up. I chuckled when I thought of Scott's reaction. He'd probably kick me out.
When my gaze landed on a picture of Scott and his fiancée, my face fell.
Victoria.
Just her name sounded snooty.
I hated the fact that Scott was marrying someone exactly like his mother, because I knew she'd make him miserable, but he was convinced that he was in love.
TJ and I had both tried to talk to him about Victoria, to try and understand what he loved about her, and why he wanted to spend the rest of his life with her, but Scott had started to get upset and defensive, so we let it go. She wasn't worth losing our friend over, but I couldn't help but hope that Scott realized his mistake before it was too late.
I sprawled out on the couch facing the ceiling and my thoughts went to my date with Shelly tomorrow. I wanted to do something that she loved to do, but I didn't, so I came up with karaoke for the first date. She and the girls went and sang karaoke quite a bit, but the guys and I never went along. I couldn't carry a tune to save my life, and I hated being up in front of large groups of people.
I hoped that things would go well and we would be able to have a nice time together. I wanted so much for things to go
back to the way they used to be, but I knew we had a long road ahead of us. I just hoped that this was a step in the right direction.
Chapter 12 – Shelly
I fluffed out my hair and stared at myself in the mirror, amazed to realize that I was nervous about being alone with Cal.
I’d never been nervous around him, other than the initial butterflies when we started dating in high school; normally, Cal made me feel comfortable and at ease.
Maybe I was more worried about dealing with the pain that I felt whenever I looked at him now. His betrayal hurt, as much now as it had a few weeks ago, and I wasn’t sure how I could stand to go on a date with him, knowing what he did to our marriage.
I knew that I couldn’t forgive him. Not yet. But would I be able to go through with these dates? Not only did I not want to be put in uncomfortable situations, but I didn’t want to give Cal false hope. I also didn’t want to hurt him more than I knew I already was. Yes, he’d hurt me, but I loved him enough to not want to see him in pain.
It was an all-around fucked-up situation.
I gave myself one more glance when the doorbell rang, and shrugged. He’d said casual, so jeans and a T-shirt would have to work.
“Hey,” I said to Cal when I opened the door.
He looked so handsome in the dark blue polo shirt I’d gotten him for his birthday that I had to momentarily shut my eyes and take a deep breath, to try and ease the constant ache that had taken up residence in my heart. His dark hair was mussed, and he had a five o’clock shadow. I loved it when he looked scruffy.
“You okay?” Cal asked.
My eyes fluttered open and I let out the breath.
“I’ll be fine,” I looked up into his dark eyes and said. “But I’d like to follow you, rather than drive together.”
Cal’s shoulders sagged a bit, but he nodded his acceptance of my request. I picked my purse up off the hook by the door, and closed the door behind me.
I got into my truck and turned up the radio when I heard Hunter Hayes singing about love.
I followed Cal’s Mustang along the familiar streets, and looked up in surprise when he pulled in to the karaoke bar that Gaby, Sasha, and I liked to frequent.
No way was Cal going to sing karaoke, I thought with a giggle. The man could not carry a tune.
When I saw him get out of his car, the smile left my face as visions of him with another woman slammed into my head.
My eyes filled and I dropped my gaze, telling myself quietly to pull it together.
I just had to get through these next eight weeks.
“You okay?” Cal asked again as he opened the door for me.
I looked up at him, not bothering to try and mask the pain that I was sure showed on my face.
He’d put it there, so he deserved to see it.
“I will be,” I said again. I thought about adding, “In eight weeks.” But that seemed like an unnecessarily cruel thing to say, so I bit my tongue.
I could tell by the frown on his face that Cal had gotten my meaning.
“Cal,” I began, placing my hand gently on his arm. “This isn’t a good idea. We’re just going to keep hurting each other.”
“Shelly, it’ll be fine. Please just give it a shot,” Cal pleaded.
I dropped my hand and nodded. I locked my truck and led the way inside.
It was kind of early, but I walked straight to the bar and ordered a gin and tonic.
Cal walked up next to me and asked for a beer, then turned to me with a small smile and said, “I really like your piercing.”
My hand flew up to the little stud in my nose, and I smiled at the fact that I’d actually gotten it. I was surprised at Cal’s reaction though.
“You do?”
“Yeah, it looks really good on you.”
I stared at him, confused, then smiled when he turned toward the sounds coming from the stage. His face morphed into one of horror, his beer halfway to his lips.
I laughed, then turned and walked toward a table in the middle of the room and sat down.
I’d seen the girl who was on stage perform many times … She never seemed to get any better, but what she lacked in talent, she made up for in enthusiasm.
The chair screeched a bit when Cal went to sit down, and he looked around the room with an expression of apology. He looked totally nervous and out of his element.
“So,” I turned to him and asked. “What next?”
“We’re going to sing,” Cal said softly, his eyes wide with fear.
“We?” I couldn’t help but mess with him.
Cal nodded as he drank his beer as if it was water, and he’d just spent days in the desert.
“You first,” I challenged.
He’d said he was going to prove to me that he was willing to do anything to make our marriage work, and although I didn’t think it was possible, I was willing to watch him suffer.
Cal finished his beer, then pushed slowly away from the table, his chair scraping with every inch.
He walked over to the DJ like a man on death row, and I couldn’t help the glee that coursed through me.
This was going to be fun.
I sipped my gin and tonic and watched Cal shaking his head as the DJ rattled off possible songs. Finally, he nodded and made his way to the stage.
He looked visibly shaken, and I started to regret the thrill I’d felt over his nervousness. He looked like he was about to vomit all over the stage. Cal gripped the microphone so hard that his knuckles were white. He stared at the monitor, probably wishing that his three minutes of fame were behind him.
When the music started to play, I let out a loud laugh, causing Cal to look up and catch my eye. The smile that spread over his face turned my insides to mush.
As he sang All Summer Long, by Kid Rock, memories of our summer before senior year flashed through my mind.
We’d been dating for six months and were so in love. Our summer was spent at the lake with Sasha, Gaby, TJ, and Scott. We went out on the boat, played in the water, and stayed up late at bonfires.
It was the best summer of my life.
We were young, carefree, and with the people we loved most in the world. It had seemed like the world was ours for the taking, and we’d hoped the summer would never end.
When the song ended, Cal’s ears were bright red and he left the stage like his jeans were on fire.
When he plopped into the chair next to me, I turned to him, the memory of the song still a smile on my lips.
“That wasn’t so bad, was it?”
Cal looked to me, his face totally serious, and said, “That was the most terrifying experience of my life.”
We shared a laugh, and he gestured toward the stage with his head.
“Your turn.”
I gave him a smile and a nod, then went over to the familiar DJ and gave him thumbs up.
I sang the same song every time I came here.
I grew up loving to sing, but had never sung in public until Sasha and Gaby had brought me here on a girls’ night. Once we’d made it a regular hangout, I’d grown to love the feel of being on stage with the mic in my hand. I knew it would never be anything other than a hobby, but singing made me feel a peace, in a way not many other things in my life ever had.
I let myself feel the music as the words that Adele had written sprang from my lips. I closed my eyes and sang from my heart. It was the most content I’d felt in weeks.
When the music stopped, I opened my eyes to the sound of applause and was surprised to see Cal on his feet, a look of awe on his face.
I smiled shyly and walked off of the stage.
Before I knew what was happening, I was swept up in Cal’s arms as he spun me in a circle.
“That was amazing, Shel,” Cal said, his voice filled with excitement.
When my feet hit the floor I gently maneuvered myself out of his arms. My heart was pounding, and confusion filled me.
I took a step back and said, “Thanks.”
; Cal hadn’t yet realized the distance I was trying to put between us; he was still gushing about my performance.
“I can’t believe I didn’t know what a beautiful voice you have. I mean, you always sound good in the shower and when we’re driving, but I had no idea just how powerful it was until now.” Cal’s eyes were lit up with excitement and his grin was contagious.
Although I didn’t want him to put his arms around me again, I did feel pride at his words.
To try and keep the situation from getting awkward, I said, “Okay, now let’s do one together.”
The excitement fell from his face and I laughed at the look that replaced it.
“You’ll be fine,” I said with a chuckle. “Don’t be a baby.”
Determination settled on Cal’s face. He was never one to back down from a challenge.
“Okay,” he said, taking my hand and leading me back to the stage.
Luckily, it was early enough that the only people in the audience were regulars, so we didn’t have to wait in line or fight for a turn to sing. I couldn’t imagine the terror that Cal would have felt if we had a packed house.
Rather than jerk my hand out of his, I allowed it, but I was very conscious of the feelings holding his hand evoked: trepidation, longing, and contentment.
I needed to focus and remember why we were even on this “date.”
“Any duet is fine,” Cal said to the DJ as we walked passed him and up the steps.
I grabbed the mic and watched as someone walked over and gave Cal another one. We looked at each other, then turned to the screen.
My mind was filled with so many warnings and contradictions that I didn’t even pay attention to the music, but just started singing when the words popped on the screen.
I looked over at Cal and when he sang, “I can’t look at you, when I’m lying next to her,” the words penetrated and I dropped the mic.
I flew off the stage, down the stairs, and out the door, tears streaming down my face.
“Shelly, wait,” Cal called out from behind me.
I stopped and turned, not bothering to wipe the tears or hide the fact that with one sentence the scab that had been forming over my heart was ripped off.
8 Weeks Page 4