by AnonYMous
‘It’s short notice,’ said the Kid. ‘It was either this or I punch you in both eyes.’
‘This is good.’
Flake heard the Kid shuffling around for a while before she suddenly felt him grab her left arm. He began rolling up the sleeve on her shirt. Feeling relatively confident that he no longer planned to kill her, she pulled her arm away. ‘What are you doing?’ she asked.
‘I’m going to inject you with a serum. It lowers your blood temperature so you can walk undetected amongst the undead. You’ll have a free run of the Casa de Ville.’
Flake wasn’t a fan of injections. ‘Oh,’ she sighed. ‘Is it absolutely necessary? My doctor always struggles to find a vein when giving me injections and my arms bruise easily.’
‘Open your eyes.’
She opened her eyes slowly, blinking a few times to make sure it didn’t sting too much. The Kid’s face was in front of hers. He was holding a long syringe in his right hand and he had a serious look on his face.
‘This is necessary,’ he said. ‘Otherwise the vampires will spot you for a phoney straight away. And they’ll eat you alive.’
Flake pulled a face like a sulky teenager. ‘Seriously, my arms bruise easily. There’s got to be another way to do this?’ she groaned.
‘There is,’ said the Kid. ‘Pull your pants down, bend over the desk and I’ll stick it in your ass.’
Flake could see from the expression on his face that he wasn’t kidding. She rolled the sleeve up a little further on her left arm. ‘Just below the elbow is probably good,’ she said.
As the Kid squeezed her arm, looking for the best spot to inject her with the serum, Flake readied herself for the inevitable pain and bruising that would follow once he stuck the needle in. Glancing over her shoulder so that she didn’t have to see the needle as it penetrated her skin, she saw the dead body of William Clay. He was spread-eagled on the floor by the elevator behind her, lying in a pool of his own blood. The blood was seeping out from a gaping head wound. Clay had obviously walked in at the wrong time. He had been the poor sucker on the receiving end of the gunshot she had heard while her eyes were closed. In the grand scheme of things, she now considered two black eyes and a bruised arm from the Bourbon Kid wasn’t so bad after all. In fact some might say she’d gotten off lightly.
Fifty-Two
The drive to the Casa de Ville wasn’t exactly a fun road trip. Flake sat in the passenger seat, thankful that she was still alive. The Bourbon Kid was in the driver seat of the black Ford Mustang, which Flake figured was most likely stolen. He kept his dark hood pulled up over his head, concealing his face all through the journey as he explained in curt detail exactly why they were going there and what he expected from her when they arrived. She nodded in agreement mostly, and added the occasional “Okay”. The rest of the journey was filled with uncomfortable silences during which she regularly checked out her reflection in the mirror on the back of the sun visor on the passenger side. She sure did look weird with the black paint across her face.
Eventually the Kid pulled over at the side of the road not too far from the entrance to the huge Casa de Ville. He turned off the engine and turned to Flake. ‘You okay?’ he asked.
‘I think so.’
Before she could add anything else her cell phone rang.
‘Turn that off.’ the Kid ordered.
Flake fumbled around in her trouser pocket for the phone. She pulled it out and took a quick look at the screen. ‘It’s Sanchez calling,’ she said.
‘I don’t care. Turn it off.’
‘But he might…’
‘Turn it off.’
The phone stopped ringing and the call went to voicemail. Without waiting to listen to the message she turned the phone off and slipped it back into her pocket.
‘Right,’ said the Kid, tapping the steering wheel. ‘The key’s in the ignition. Once you see the gates open, wait for the zombies to swarm in, then drive through the gates and up to the front entrance.’
‘Where exactly are all these zombies?’
‘They’ll show themselves the minute the gates open. They’re waiting in the woods on the other side of the road. When you get to the front of the building, get out of the car and make sure you’ve got that book in your hands. That’s all you’ve got to fight the vampires off with.’
‘And how do I get into the building once I’m there?’
‘Ring the doorbell.’
‘What about you? Where will you be?’
‘I’ll be where I need to be.’
‘What if you get killed? How will I know what to do?’
The Kid let out a deep sigh. ‘Me, get killed? Really? Worry about yourself. When you drive up to the entrance, don’t stop for anything. If a vampire or a zombie or anything else gets in your way, mow that fucker down!’
‘I can do that,’ said Flake with a degree more confidence. Her driving skills were decent and she wasn’t afraid to put her foot down on the accelerator when necessary.
The Kid opened his car door and stepped out. ‘Good luck,’ he said. ‘I’ll see you on the other side.’
‘Good luck to you too!’ Flake called out. He had already slammed the door shut by the time she’d finished speaking so chances were he hadn’t heard her.
He vanished off into the shadows and Flake manoeuvred herself over to the driver’s side of the car. The Book With No Name had been resting by her feet on the passenger side. She leaned over and picked it up. She laid it down on the seat beside her she considered her predicament. She was about to drive into a war between several thousand vampires, werewolves and zombies, and God knows what else, and she was doing it with nothing more than a book, some face paint and a Ford Mustang. “I must be insane,” she thought to herself. “But Sanchez is inside there somewhere.”
Just as the Kid had predicted, the large iron gates at the front of the estate began to open. A series of lights then came on within the grounds of the Casa de Ville. The whole place lit up brightly. And within a second of the lights coming on, she saw the arrival of the zombies. On the opposite side of the road, which was made up of thick woodland, they suddenly began swarming out from the trees.
In their thousands.
She checked that all the doors were locked on the car and watched in disbelief as hordes of the grotesque creatures lurched past her and through the gates up ahead. Their arrival in the courtyard caused havoc, just as the Kid had predicted. Screams and howls began ringing out from within the walls of the estate as the battle commenced.
When eventually most of the zombies had made their way through the gates, she started up the engine on the car.
‘Here goes nothin’,’ she whispered.
She slammed her foot down on the accelerator and stormed towards the front gates, knocking aside some of the zombie stragglers on the way. One or two bounced up onto the bonnet of the car and flew over the top. By the time she’d steered through the gates and started haring up the driveway, Flake was having the time of her life. Mowing down pedestrians for fun was the kind of thing most people only ever got to do in video games. This was the same thing, but with real life victims, only this was perfectly legal and morally right too.
When she reached the huge mansion at the end of the driveway, she slammed on the brakes. A werewolf who had been clinging onto the roof of the car went flying off and into a bush at the side of the entrance. There was a loud thud as his head smashed into the wall behind the bush.
She had no time to lose reflecting on what was going on around her though, so she turned off the engine and pulled out the ignition key. She grabbed the book from the passenger seat and opened the door to get out. There were a number of vampires near the entrance, mostly dressed in black. They were backing away from the army of zombies, most of whom hadn’t made it this far down the drive. As Flake stepped out of the car, the noise of the on-going battle was brutal. Horrific high-pitched screams from vampires, howling wolves and groaning zombies filled the air, punctuated by t
he sound of snapping limbs and teeth crunching into flesh. Clutching The Book With No Name tightly to her chest, she kicked the car door shut and raced up the steps at the front of the building. No one seemed to pay her much attention. Hardly surprising considering self-preservation was probably top of everyone else’s agenda. Plus of course she looked like a vampire and she’d been injected (in the arm, thank you very much) with the cooling serum. She reached the top step and pressed the doorbell in the wall. Instead of a ringing sound, the song Saturday Night by Whigfield began blaring out from inside the building. Hardly the most appropriate doorbell chime, but Flake had more important things to worry about. She turned her back on the door to make sure nothing was creeping up on her as she waited for someone to let her in.
Spotlights from above her shone down on the fighting undead masses in the courtyard. Blood was spraying in all directions. Arms and legs were being ripped off. There were quite a few casualties from her driving too. Someone’s leg was still on the roof of the Mustang. As she winced at the horrors going on in front of her, she heard the door open behind her. She turned around, hoping to see someone wave her in. Standing in the doorway was a woman with the same kind of look as her. It was one of the Panda vampires. She was wearing a red baseball cap and an all black outfit. She pulled the door completely open and stared at Flake, frowning.
‘Who the fuck are you?’ she asked.
‘One of you,’ Flake replied nervously.
‘No way,’ Panda Girl replied. ‘I know all the Pandas. You ain’t one of them. And why are you dressed as a cop?’
‘I’m new,’ Flake said attempting to step inside, keeping the book clutched tightly against her chest. ‘And I just killed a cop to get this uniform.’
Panda Girl shook her head. ‘You’re not coming in,’ she hissed.
Flake was about to attempt barging her way in when just in the nick of time, she saw a figure appear behind Panda Girl. It was the Bourbon Kid. He grabbed the unsuspecting vampire. One of his hands slid around her waist, the other around her neck. He dragged her back from the door and in one swift movement snapped her head to one side, breaking her neck with a loud crack.
Flake dashed inside the door and slammed it shut behind her. With the sound of the carnage outside closed out, all that could be heard now was the irritating singing of Whigfield. Flake turned back to the Bourbon Kid. He had dragged the body of the Panda Girl back to a door at the far end of the reception area. He kicked the door open and backed through it.
‘Through here,’ he called to Flake.
She hurried over and followed him through into a large dining room. He chucked the body of the Panda Girl onto the floor by a set of tables and chairs. Flake closed the door shut behind them again. No one had seen them. At least, she hoped no one had.
‘What now?’ she asked.
‘Take your clothes off,’ said the Kid.
‘What?’
‘Get your clothes off.’
‘Are you just obsessed with seeing my ass?’
‘Get your clothes off,’ he repeated. He pointed at the dead Panda on the floor. ‘Put hers on. You need to look like her.’
‘Oh right,’ said Flake. ‘Sorry.’
‘I’ll see you upstairs when you’re done. Don’t be too long.’
‘How will I know where to find you?’
‘I’ll kill everyone I see on my way there. You can follow the trail of dead bodies.’
With that, the Kid headed over to a door at the far end of the room and disappeared through it.
Flake placed The Book With No Name down on the floor and began stripping the clothes off of the dead Panda. Then she pulled her own clothes off in a hurry, hoping not to be interrupted by any fleeing vampires that might pass through.
The vampire’s clothes fitted her almost perfectly. She slipped on the red baseball cap and tucked her hair back underneath it as the vampire had done. Did she look convincing though? She really wasn’t sure how she looked, which made her a little nervous. She needed to check out how she looked, but she had to make her way up to the main hall as the Bourbon Kid had instructed.
She picked up The Book With No Name and hurried out of the room through the door that the Bourbon Kid had disappeared through. The long narrow corridor outside had at least ten doors on either side. She grabbed the handle on the first door on the right. It opened easily enough. She just hoped that there was a mirror inside and not a gang of vampires.
She peered around the door. It was a fairly small bedroom. In the corner was a door, most likely for a bathroom. There was no sign of a mirror in the bedroom so the bathroom would be her best bet, if indeed vampires had mirrors in their homes. She tossed The Book With No Name onto the bed in the middle of the room and hurried over to the door. She tried the handle. It was locked. Someone must be inside. Sanchez possibly?
The sound of a toilet flushing inside confirmed that it was a bathroom. Flake backed away from the door, unsure what she was about to be confronted by. She reminded herself that she looked like a vampire (hopefully), so she had nothing to fear.
‘Who’s in there?’ she called out tentatively.
A few seconds passed before the bathroom door opened and Sanchez strolled out nonchalantly.
‘All done,’ he said. Flake stared amazed at him. He seemed so casual. Before she could speak he began waving his hand in front of his nose. ‘I wouldn’t go in there for a while if I was you,’ he added.
Flake was relieved to see him alive, but noticed that the satchel he was carrying over his shoulder looked empty. Had he given Jessica The Book of Death already?
‘Your satchel’s empty!’ she gasped. ‘Where’s the book? What have you done with it?’
Sanchez stared hard at her, a look of puzzlement on his face. ‘Flake? Is that you?’
‘Yeah.’
‘Are you a vampire?’
‘No, numbnuts. I’ve come here to save your ass!’
Sanchez frowned. ‘Oh, wow. Thanks.’ He pointed into the bathroom. ‘The Book of Death is in there,’ he said. Glancing over her shoulder, he spotted the identical looking black book on the bed. ‘What’s that book then?’ he asked.
Flake grabbed him by the hand. ‘We’ve got to go help the Bourbon Kid,’ she said, picking up The Book With No Name in her other hand. ‘Come on, I’ll explain on the way.’
Sanchez held back. ‘Can’t you explain here?’
Fifty-Three
Sanchez followed Flake back out into the corridor. Although he was extremely keen to go home, or even lock himself back in the bathroom, he had a feeling he’d be better off with Flake. Before leaving the bedroom, she had briefly explained her plan to him, a plan she claimed to have concocted with the Bourbon Kid who she said was “an all right guy” in spite of the fact he had shot William Clay in the face when he had dropped by the police station. Sanchez listened intently until she had finished explaining the plan and his part in it. He mulled it over for a while before voicing his thoughts.
‘It’s a shitty plan,’ he declared as he hurried along the corridor behind her. She stepped over the decaying corpse of a recently murdered clown and then turned back to face him.
‘You got a better one?’ she snapped.
‘Yeah. Let’s get the fuck out of here!’
Flake stepped back over the clown and slapped Sanchez across the face. Quite hard too. Rather uncalled for, in his opinion.
‘Man up, Sanchez, for goodness’ sake,’ she barked. ‘We’ve got a chance to kill Jessica. She’s a vampire and by the sounds of it, she’s the worst one of all. If we can play a part in helping the Bourbon Kid to kill her then I think it would be pretty silly not to.’
‘Kind of dangerous, though, isn’t it?’ said Sanchez. ‘Job for the police, I figure.’
‘We are the police, you idiot!’
‘Damn.’
Flake headed back down the corridor again. ‘Come on, hurry up,’ she called back. ‘You’re either coming with me, or you can take your chances with
the thousands of vampires and zombies outside.’
She had a point, and more importantly, Sanchez noted, she had The Book With No Name. And that fucking thing killed vampires. Wherever that book was going, he was going too.
He followed her along the corridor, occasionally stepping over the remains of a dead vampire or werewolf. Flake seemed to be following the trail of corpses. She led the way up a flight of stairs to the next floor. It was similar to the previous floor, all bloody corridors and corpses. This was not a fun place to be. Flake continued to dash around, opening doors, peering around them and then closing them again. She didn’t seem to know exactly where she was going, and although Sanchez was tempted to point this out, he had a feeling she’d snap at him again, or worse still slap him around the chops again.
After seeming to check every single room on the second floor they headed up another flight of stairs that was strewn with dead bodies. By now Sanchez was breathing heavily. It was bad enough dashing around everywhere, but hurdling dead bodies and piles of smouldering ash was making it even more testing. This was a lot more exercise than he was used to. Fortunately the next floor up was totally different. There were no more corridors, for starters. At the top of the stairs was a small landing and a huge set of large wooden double doors with a pair of hideous statues of naked men on either side.
‘This’ll be it!’ said Flake pointing at the doors.
‘How can you be so sure?’ Sanchez asked.
‘There’s no more dead bodies. And these are the only doors on this floor by the looks of it. This must be the end of the trail. Follow me, and remember, you’re my prisoner.’
Sanchez sighed. ‘I can’t see how this is going to be believable,’ he moaned. ‘You’d never be able to take me prisoner.’
‘A Sunflower Girl could take you prisoner. And I look like a vampire, remember,’ said Flake, shaking her head. ‘Now shut up and just play along!’
She carefully turned the handle on one of the doors and pulled it open. It creaked slightly as she pulled it out towards her. Sanchez peered over her shoulder and around the door. There was a huge hall on the other side. But it was extremely dark. Someone had obviously forgotten to turn on the lights.