by A. E. Neal
"Look at me," he said as her eyelids fluttered again, but she managed to keep her gaze focused on him.
His thrusts quickened as he moved inside of her, memorizing everything he felt along the way, the way he fit so perfectly there, as if he were made to be hers and only hers.
He found his release a few moments later, but instead of collapsing against her exhausted, he gently rolled to his side, wrapping an arm around her waist then pulled her close to his chest so she could feel the beating of his heart.
"I will never stop loving you. Life or near-death, I will love you no matter what."
She gazed up at him, catching his gleaming blue eyes in her gaze and smiled.
"No matter what," she agreed and rest her cheek against his chest to listen to his heart beat.
* * *
Quinn nuzzled against Cole's bare chest and sighed. After spending the night with him, she wanted to stay in bed forever, but she had so many questions on her mind that she began fidgeting with the covers, which in turn, woke him.
"What's wrong?" he asked between yawns.
As she curled the sheet between her fingers, she let out a sigh. "Nothing."
Cole rolled to his side and rested his head against his hand. "Something's wrong, I can see it in your eyes."
Quinn sat up, covering her bare breasts with the sheet and shrugged. "I still can't believe you're here. It's like I'm living in one of my dreams, having you by my side. I just don't understand any of this. I need to know why after all this time, you decided to find me? Why not sooner?"
Cole knew her questions would come inevitably, it was only a matter of time and he owed it to her to tell the truth about what had happened to him.
"I know it's going to be hard for you to take in, but I only did what I did to protect you," he began and Quinn frowned. "Please don't look at me that way, babe. I know what I did can't ever be undone."
"Tell me what happened. I need to know everything or it will never work between us."
"I know," he said sheepishly as he sat up wrapping an arm around her shoulders and proceeded to tell Quinn everything. "I should have never put you in danger. I should've told my superiors to fuck off, but after working the investigation for so long, I let my job get in the way of your safety. I had only one choice and I knew it had to work or Beckett would see right through me and one or both of us would pay the ultimate price. So when the plane crashed, Dawn and I staged it to look like you were killed. It was only a matter of time before Beckett and Croft showed up. Dawn was securing the perimeter as I got in place. I had my finger on the trigger, ready to do whatever it took to bring him down, but as soon as he saw you—" Cole paused as he took a deep breath.
"It's okay," Quinn offered, knowing it was hard for him to relive that day.
He cleared his throat and continued, "As soon as he saw you laying there in the middle of that jet, covered in blood and not breathing...he lost it. I could see how much he cared about you and because of the way he looked at you, I hesitated. Before I could pull the trigger, Croft shot me in the chest and I couldn't move. So, I just laid there bleeding to death as Beckett looked me in the eyes and said, you did this to her. And he was right, for once in his meaningless existence, he was right."
"I realized then, neither one of us deserved you. We didn't deserve your love, your compassion or your heart. We were both cut from the same cloth and although our motives were different, we surrounded ourselves with the same things. Dangerous things. I figured that if you thought I was dead, you could move on, find someone who actually deserved you. So, I gave Dawn orders to keep you away from the hospital and two days after I was shot, I was airlifted to a private facility in Texas and that was that."
Without looking at her, Cole already knew Quinn was crying by the way her chest rose and fell and he pulled her against his shoulder to calm her.
Quinn knew exactly why he'd done what he did, but deep in her heart, she didn't understand how he could walk away from her after everything they'd been through.
"It was one of my darkest moments and I know it's hard for you to understand why I had to let you go. But I had to give you a fighting chance and I knew if I was in your life, you'd never be able to move on."
Quinn wiped her eyes with the back of her hands, turned to face Cole and took his hands in hers. "We don't always make the right choices, but I understand why you thought letting me go was the right one to make. Even though I tried to get you out of my mind, I found myself closing my eyes every single waking moment, just so I could see your face again. Your face, not Jaysen's, not anyone else. I loved you, Cole. And when the FBI told me you died, a piece of me died with you, a part of me was buried with you, next to your heart, where I thought I would always be. I thought our love would be strong enough to conquer anything that stood in our way. I thought we would never give up. Knowing how much you loved me, was and still is the only thing that keeps me from giving up. I don't want to feel like that. I don't want to wake up to an empty bed. I never want to have to go through that ever again."
Without hesitation, Cole took Quinn by the hips and brought her onto his lap. She straddled his still naked, tanned body as he tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear and she caught his deep blue gaze staring back at her.
"Someday maybe you'll be able to forgive me for everything I've done. That's all I can hope for, but I promise you now and from this day forward, I'll never run again," Cole said softly as he caressed her cheek.
"I don't ever want to be your reason to run. I just want to be your reason to stay. And if I'm ever not enough, promise me that you'll tell me," she replied.
"You will always be enough. I was just too stupid to see what I had right in front of me," he said as he pressed his lips to her forehead. "So stupid."
Quinn traced his scar with her fingertips and it sent an electric current through Cole's body.
"Only stupid because it took you this long to tell me the truth," she giggled, continuing to explore his muscular chest with her hands.
"I'll never lie to you again. Hell, I don't think I'll ever let you out of my sight ever again."
Quinn smiled and for the first time in months, she felt truly happy. She knew it would still take time to work through their issues, but for the time being, she was exactly where she belonged and she had no intentions of letting go anytime soon.
Placing her hand over his heart, she took a deep a breath and said, "It's funny how I've spent my entire life using my hands, but this is the first time I can actually feel what I've been missing all along." Quinn could feel the exact moment her heart began beating to the same rhythm as Cole's and it made her smile. "All I've been missing is you."
THE END
A Note From The Author
I know this book touches briefly on the subject of domestic violence. If you or anyone you know is a victim of domestic violence; verbally, physically or otherwise, please do not hesitate to contact the National Domestic Violence Hotline. It's free, confidential and they are there to listen 24/7.
http://www.thehotline.org
or
1-800-799-SAFE
Acknowledgements
First of all, I'd like to thank all of my loyal readers for your continued support. You have no idea how much your words of encouragement mean to me.
On September 8th, 2014, I lost my dad. It was one of the most difficult times in my life and I found solace in my writing. It took every ounce of strength I had to get this book down on paper and although it took me forever to write, I'm glad I never gave up. I know he would've been proud of me. I miss you everyday, Daddy. Every. Single. Day.
My mom has been one of my biggest supporters and from the first time I mentioned this whole writing-as-a-profession-thing, she never stopped cheering me on. Thank you, Mom. I love you.
My girls, Michelle and Anisa, who were constantly telling me, "finish the damn thing already." Thank you both so much! I love you guys to the moon and back!
My fellow authors and writers, who continue to
wow me on a daily basis with their extraordinary talent, thank you so much for giving me hope and encouraging me to follow my dreams.
None of my books would be possible if it weren't for my amazingly understanding husband. Thank you, bear. I can't even begin to tell you how much your support means to me.
Finally, the blogs...oh, the many, many blogs who have stood by my side from day one. Thank you so much for looking out for us little guys in this enormous author community. You are all rockstars!
About the Author
A.E. Neal is the author of Holding On To Love, Holding On To Us and Trick Her, Treat Her. She has been writing since she was a child, everything from short stories to poetry. While she spends most of her time writing, she also enjoys reading, anything Justin Timberlake related and catching up on her favorite TV shows. She currently resides in Fort Collins, Colorado with her husband and four fur babies. Be sure to visit A.E. Neal's Facebook page for exclusive teasers and updates.
A.E. loves hearing from her readers and can be found online at:
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Twitter: @aenealauthor
Google+ & Email: [email protected]
PLEASE NOTE: If you enjoyed this book, please consider leaving a spoiler-free review on the site from which you purchased it. Thank you!
Other books by this author are available for purchase on most ebook platforms:
Holding On To Love (Holding On #1)
Holding On To Us (Holding On #2)
Trick Her, Treat Her: A Halloween Novella