by Shayla Black
“So you could tell me not to and go on risking your life?” he challenged.
She held up her hands, feeling seconds away from explosion. She didn’t even know how to put everything she felt into words. Jason’s heart had been in the right place, but that didn’t excuse his interference.
“You had me put behind a desk, then you blackmailed me into spending a few weeks with you. You bought me clothes without consulting me, forced me to introduce you to my parents. And now you tell me that you had my brother’s murderer turned to dust. When do I get to make some decisions about my own life?”
“Gia!” Mila screeched. “I couldn’t be more grateful to him.” She turned to Jason, then rounded the table to hug him. “Thank you. From the bottom of my heart, really. Thank you.”
He put an awkward arm around her. “I’d do it again.”
Meeting Jason’s stare over the top of her sister-in-law’s head, Gia dragged in a breath, trying to get ahold of herself. They’d been so happy an hour ago. She’d been almost convinced this could work.
Almost.
Her father grabbed Jason’s hand again and shook it. “You did what I wish I’d had the means to do. My wife and I are grateful.”
Mama nodded. “As far as I’m concerned, you’re a permanent member of this family.”
“That means a lot.” Jason disentangled himself from Mila.
“Let’s leave them alone,” her mother suggested to the others.
Bella started crying, and Little Tony called for his mother. The women sent Jason one last grateful smile before they disappeared into the family room. Her father followed. As they retrieved the children, turned off the TV, and disappeared into the back of the house, the yawning silence suddenly enveloped she and Jason, threatening to swallow them whole.
“You’re really angry with me?” he challenged.
“Yes.” Fury growled at her, threatening to break free from its chain. “Apparently, I’m the only one. I know you did it for the right reasons, but…I can’t believe you went around me like that.”
Jason tilted his head. “You left me so few options. As long as Wayman was at large, you weren’t going to stop obsessing. It takes two to have a marriage, and I can’t be the only one fighting for us, Gia. I might make choices you hate, but damn it, at least I’m trying. What are you doing to keep us together?”
“You only offered that reward because you didn’t think I was good enough at my job or strong enough to bring Wayman in.”
“No. That’s your insecurity talking. I did it because I knew you were brave and determined to keep going until the day one of you died.”
His words knocked her back on her heels. For a long moment, Gia couldn’t quite breathe.
“You’ve always made me feel so special and cared for—until this. Now you’ve just taken away my sense of purpose. Poof.” She tossed her hands in the air. “All gone—without saying a word to me. Yes, I know you did it to protect me. But you tried to distract me with pretty baubles that don’t mean a damn thing. I needed to make this world a safer place for my family by bringing Wayman down way more than I needed new designer clothes. And you just didn’t get that love is more important than Prada. Or care. You might be able to buy another wife, but not this one. If you don’t see that, I’m not sure we need to stay together.”
He stiffened, then clenched his jaw as he stepped back from her deliberately and slowly. “You haven’t discussed any of your plans with me for nearly a year, especially this obsessive, dangerous manhunt. Or your decision to move in with your sister-in-law and totally ignore your husband. But I digress… I’m sorry for not consulting you and for trying too hard. Neither will happen again. I’ve done everything I know to make you care about our marriage, but it’s clear to me that we will never be a priority for you.” He shoved his hands in his pockets. “Tell your family that it was nice to meet them. I have a reward to pay out tonight. Good-bye, Gia.”
Jason raised his hand like he wanted to touch her. But he didn’t. He simply clenched his fist and turned on his heel before he walked away. Her chest imploded as she watched him, the jagged and raw pieces of her heart a splintered heap. Gia wanted to call him back…but why? Loving Jason wasn’t enough. She couldn’t change him any more than he could fit her into the mold of women, like his mother, he understood.
As her husband shut the door quietly behind him for the final time, Gia knew that nothing would ever be the same again. A sob tore through her chest.
* * * *
Jason paced his condo. The November sun streamed through the floor to ceiling windows, blinding him. If he’d been able to drink himself into a stupor after last night’s debacle, his hangover would be bitching at the light. As it was, he had nothing to blame his squinty, vampiric avoidance of the sun on except his bad mood. Why should the day be so fucking cheerful when he wasn’t?
Stalking back into the kitchen, he grabbed a bottle of water and downed long swallows. He hadn’t been able to run this anger out of his system, even after a punishing eight-mile jog on the treadmill. Business hadn’t distracted him during his sleepless night. Neither had trying to logic his way out of this mess. No matter how he told himself that he’d failed at marriage and now he should move on, Jason couldn’t make himself listen. He’d even tried to convince himself that Gia was just another woman who could be easily replaced. On paper, maybe. Something inside him wasn’t buying it. He had no idea why.
She’d been a pain in his ass, with her quick Italian temper and headstrong ways. The woman wasn’t logical. She’d taken a long time to give him her submission, railed every time he tried to set boundaries or keep her safe, insisted that she didn’t need his money or his protection or…much of anything from him. Jason sighed.
In some ways, those traits were the very ones that had drawn him to her, which probably made him sound like an idiotic loon. But he’d enjoyed the challenge of coaxing her from her shell. Gia’s independence coupled with her submissive nature had been so unlike anyone he’d met. The fact that she didn’t seem to give a shit about his fortune was refreshing. Hell, he respected it. She’d wanted money from their divorce, yes. It disappointed him, but the businessman that lurked in his brain said that in her position, he’d want the sum they’d mutually agreed upon, too. His attraction to Gia was everything he’d thought and still more he couldn’t quite put his finger on. Her loyalty, for sure. The way she so often put the people she cared about first.
Sadly, she’d never made him one of her priorities. So where did that leave him? Mooning over a woman who would never return half of his…what, sense of attachment? No. He’d mooned over some of his girlfriends in high school. What he felt was more than mere connection. Missing her now hurt like he’d lost something vital. A limb, maybe. But even more important.
Like his heart?
Jason downed another swallow of water, then huffed out a breath of air. Oh, shit. Was that even possible? He’d always believed that love was a fabrication, but what else explained why Gia would sacrifice so much of herself to help raise her niece and nephew? Risk her life to vindicate her brother? Worry so much about her parents’ reaction to their marriage? She genuinely loved those people, would do anything for them.
Maybe she hadn’t been able to love him because he didn’t understand the meaning of love. His parents had been lousy examples. Samantha would never have lifted a finger to help raise the children of a relative grieving the loss of a spouse. She would have cheered Wayman’s death and Jason’s method for bringing it about because she wouldn’t have had to get her hands dirty. She could simply spend another day at the spa, drink champagne, and think about how grand life was. Even his dad hadn’t been a shining example of devotion. Jason had never said anything, but he had zero respect for a man who would leave his wife and three kids because he’d been stupid enough to bang his secretary and knock her up. All his life, Jason had seen “love” exchanged for a new pair of shoes or a trip to anywhere exotic.
Before she’d eve
r taken a dime from him, Gia had proven that wasn’t love at all.
So what was it exactly?
Jason whipped out his phone and opened his browser to search. Dictionary results popped up. With a shrug, he figured that was as good a place to start as any.
1. A deep, tender, indescribable feeling of affection and care toward a person, such as that arising from kinship, recognition of attractive qualities, or a sense of underlying oneness.
That was a really convoluted way of saying he gave a shit about her way more than the average person and that he had a hard time explaining his feelings. Check.
2. A feeling of intense desire and attraction toward a person with whom one is disposed to make a pair; the emotion of sex and romance.
Check, though those were really clinical words to describe the feelings unsettling him. He’d never felt anything like this and he didn’t have anything to compare it with. What her parents felt for one another? That had looked like love to him. When he’d seen Marco and Silvana, he’d been struck by an odd jealousy. Those two had been through hell together, would have done anything to make one another happy and whole. Jason couldn’t deny he wanted what they shared.
3. Sexual passion.
Um…like mad. He wanted his wife all the time. Check, check, check.
Well, shit. He was in love. What a fine time to realize it now that Gia was gone.
If his mother could see him now, she’d laugh her head off—after she’d asked him for money, of course.
Jason gripped the phone tighter. What did he do about this mess? He’d been angry with his wife last night. He’d tried to help her and keep her safe, and he’d been hurt. So he had thrown in the towel. But really, he couldn’t keep the relationship going for them. She had to want it, too.
Why didn’t she? Was he that unlovable?
As he ping-ponged mentally whether he should let her go and call his attorney or find another way to lure his wife to his side, his phone rang. He stared at the display.
Gia.
His heart stopped. But he could only make one choice.
He stabbed the button with his finger and answered. “Yes?”
“Jason, I need to talk to you.”
Her voice trembled, and he braced. Whether she felt guilty or angry or worried, she’d brought them to this place. Okay, he’d probably helped. Being decisive and in charge worked for him in business. It didn’t translate quite as well in marriage. His mistake, and he’d already taken note for future reference. That, and the fact that he fucking missed her, were the only reasons he’d answered her call now. But without calm, productive conversation…their marriage could only be heading one place.
“I’m listening.”
“Face to face. I can’t do what I need to over the phone.”
Do, not say, he noticed. Had she decided not to wait the eight days until their anniversary to file for divorce? Most women wouldn’t pass up decent six figures just to be free a few days early. Gia? With her, anything was possible.
He could point out the pitfalls of bailing early on their agreement, but she was smart. She knew the score. And even if it made him foolish, he wanted to know what the hell was going on in her head. He wanted to see her, too. Might as well not kid himself. Besides, once she’d served him with papers and they started down the grand road to divorce, he wanted to look her in the eye and tell her that he loved her. In part because he knew he’d never feel like he’d given this his all until he did. And also because he wanted Gia to know exactly what she’d lost.
“When and where?”
“Four thirty. Lakeside Park, by the granite teddy bears.”
The park he’d taken her to early in their relationship for their first scene together, a semi-public one meant to open her submission and fulfill a fantasy. The same one in which she’d called her safe word and nearly ended everything between them for good.
Symbolism. Fabulous. He loathed that shit.
“I’ll be there.”
“Thank you. See you then.”
Before he could reply, she hung up. Jason cursed, then paced his empty condo. He had exactly eight hours to decide how to approach her.
Grabbing his gear, he left his place. Too many memories of Gia here pelting him now. He wished like hell he would have thought of that before he’d coerced her to stay in his home. He could have gotten a suite at the Crescent or something. But no. He’d wanted her in his personal space, in his bed, as if she shared his life. So she would experience what their marriage could be like.
Dumb ass.
Making his way out the door and to his Porsche, he drove the city aimlessly, past his boyhood neighborhood, past upscale shops and family neighborhoods. A pretty brunette pushed a stroller on the sidewalk, a napping toddler securely tucked in. The smiling woman looked visibly pregnant with another child.
Why couldn’t that be his life? His family?
Damn it, he sounded maudlin.
His phone rang again. He couldn’t see the screen while driving, but he pounced on it. “Gia?”
“Is that your wife or your latest girl toy?”
Samantha. He sighed. “Did you want something?”
“Well, I’m being a good mother this time and inviting you to my engagement party.”
Jason recoiled. “That was fast. The guy you met at Neiman’s?”
She sighed as if she didn’t have a care in the world. “Geoffrey is a wonderful man. You’ll like him. He takes such good care of me.”
Whatever. “What do you like about him? I mean, besides his bank balance.”
“Well, he’s charming, of course.”
“Do you love him?”
She gasped, affronted. “Would I marry anyone I didn’t?”
Only four other times. “Would you take care of him through thick and thin?”
“Jason, Geoffrey is ten years younger than me and in perfect health. Neither of us are on our death beds.”
And his mother was missing the point of the question completely, probably on purpose.
“Would you do anything to comfort him if he lost something priceless?” He couldn’t compare Gia’s unflagging support of her family after Tony’s death against his mother helping her next fiancé through a missing cuff link or whatever. The questions were soaring right over his mother’s head because she valued things far more than people.
She laughed off his questions. “I’m sure I’d find the appropriate words for such a moment and hand him a double Scotch. Where are you going with this?”
Jason winced and gave up explaining it to her. She had limitations, and he wouldn’t change her. But one thought resonated in his head over and over: If he let Gia slip through his fingers, he’d probably wind up with a new wife every five or ten years, each one much like Samantha.
The thought sickened him.
But he couldn’t control everything between them. He certainly couldn’t make her love him.
Fuck.
“When is the party?”
“Tonight at eight o’clock.” She rattled off an address, somewhere off of Mockingbird in Highland Park.
Old money. Naturally.
“I have a meeting at four thirty. If it wraps before then, I’ll be there.”
“Lovely. Don’t disappoint me.” Samantha hung up.
Jason ended the call and shook his head.
He felt sorry for his mother because she would never know anything deeper than the joy of pretty, shiny things for sale. She’d never really feel her heart. Moreover, he didn’t want to be like her. He wanted what Gia’s parents had.
He wanted Gia.
How could he impress that upon her when he saw her this afternoon? All his usual ideas—jewelry, handbags, shoes—took him in the wrong direction. She wouldn’t care about any of that. She wouldn’t take a trip to an alley with him, much less anywhere tropical and fabulous so that he could romance her unless she wanted to be with him.
Other than her divorce settlement, she didn’t seem to care about money.
In fact, now that he thought about it, her agreeing to spend eighteen days with him for the cash seemed out of character.
Unless the money wasn’t for her at all.
He pounded on the steering wheel with a sigh. Oh, hell. He’d been so stupid.
But at least he knew what to do now.
A few errands and a lot of anxious waiting later, Jason pulled up at the park, locked his car, and headed toward their meeting point. The sun shined brightly, the thermometer edging toward the seventy degree mark as the last of autumn fought against a winter that would soon encroach. A few leaves still clung to the trees. Ducks swam in the nearby pond. Kids ran and laughed across the little stone bridge near the granite bears that served as monuments in the park. He’d grown up here and always thought of this place as a little slice of heaven, a refuge in the city.
Now being here just ate at his guts.
Jason glanced at his watch. Right on time. He looked around for Gia, leaning against a little railing, hoping like hell he’d made the right decision.
As he second-guessed himself, Gia approached in a pair of faded jeans, a simple coral-hued T-shirt paired with a beige sweater, and flip-flops. What she didn’t wear was her wedding ring or a smile. Jason couldn’t stop the anxious slide of his stomach to his toes.
He didn’t want a goddamn divorce.
“Hi,” she greeted. “Thanks for meeting me here.”
He wanted to hold her. Fuck, he wanted to take her, possess her, convince her that she was his and always would be. But she put off a vibe that gave him pause. Not a fuck-off sort…but not precisely welcoming, either.
“Of course. What’s on your mind?”
She drew in a not-quite-steady breath—a hint that she was nervous, too. “I’ve given everything that happened recently a lot of thought. I’ve made some decisions and taken some action.”
Here it came, Gia telling him that she’d filed. He clenched his jaw, braced for the worst, and resolved to at least listen before he spoke. Then he intended to fight like hell. She might not see it yet, but they were right for one another.