One
Carly
MORNING BREATH BOTHERS Derek, so when I finally hear him stirring in the bedroom overhead, I go into the powder room and scrub my teeth for the second time. I use enough toothpaste to foam up and nearly gag me, to make sure my breath is minty fresh.
When I come back into the kitchen he’s there, back to me, pouring a cup of coffee. “Good morning,” I say, and come to stand beside him. “You’re late getting up.”
He gives me a quick glance and mumbles something that’s probably “good morning”. Shirtless and barefoot, sweatpants hanging low on his hips, he doesn’t turn to face me or put his arm around me, but stands at the sink gazing out the window, surveying the back yard.
It’s really all I expect. He’s not a morning person. Early in our relationship he explained he needs at least one cup of coffee and a little quiet time before he feels human. For me, it’s the best time of the day. For one thing, this is when we sometimes have a good morning I love you kiss. Saturdays and Sundays are the most special. I’m hoping this morning he’ll suggest we take our coffee upstairs and lock the bedroom door. Jennifer is old enough to let her parents “sleep in” on week-ends. I stroke his shoulder and murmur, “We could take our coffee and go back to bed…”
“What the…” Derek has spotted something out the window; he shrugs me off, puts his cup down, and races through the family room and out the patio door, swearing loudly. I grit my teeth. I wish he would keep his voice down, especially this early. The neighbours might hear. Language like that, and on a Sunday, to boot!
I go to the door and watch as he bends over the bird feeder, now a mess of scattered wood pieces and seeds on the patio. It must have come down during the windstorm that swept through overnight. It looks ruined. Could this be the end of the darn thing at last?
No hug or kiss, but I still feel a rush of joy.
Two
Lita
I’M SLOWLY COMING awake. I don’t want to open my eyes, not yet, because doing so would mean waking up too fast. I crack open one eye and check the clock radio on the table beside me. 7:30. It’s Sunday morning. I don’t have to get out of bed this early. What woke me? Then I smell coffee and realize the other side of the bed is messed up. Oh yeah. Nullah. Last night. I hear him humming now.
In moments, Nullah appears in the doorway. The sight of the man, all solid muscle, buck naked except for a steaming mug in each hand, is what I can only describe as amazing. He’s athletic, a body builder for no reason other than he likes to keep fit and admires the body-builder physique. Makes sense. The guy is the Canadian distributor for a couple of workout equipment manufacturers and owns half a dozen fitness clubs and gyms.
Besides being wide at the shoulder and narrow at the hip, he’s well-endowed in another important area and jaw-droppingly handsome besides, largish nose notwithstanding. Much as I’ve never liked tattoos, I’m even getting used to the intricate and quite beautiful Maori one that covers his left shoulder and part of his chest. At the moment it’s the mugs I’m interested in, though.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he says as he comes up to me and sets a mug on the beside table.
“Good morning,” I mutter. It’s difficult to match his enthusiasm. I’m a little annoyed that he’s waking me up this early on a Sunday, but bringing me coffee in bed mostly makes up for it. I sit up, tuck the sheet around me, lift the mug and take a few sips. I start to mellow out as the warmth floods through me.
“Your neighbour was out walking that little dog of hers,” he says. “She saw me in the window and waved.”
“She saw you?”
“In the kitchen window. Not the big window.”
“Well maybe next time, go to the big window and give the old girl a thrill,” I suggest, knowing Irene might have a coronary if he actually did it.
Nullah laughs, goes around to the other side and climbs up on the bed to sit next to me. After a few more sips, I ask, “why are you up so early? More to the point, why did you wake me up?”
“The bite at Sisters is at nine, so we need to get moving. By the time we’re out on the water…”
“Fishing?”
“We talked about this last night.”
It’s coming back to me. “I don’t think I agreed, though, did I?”
“You didn’t say no.”
“Implied consent because I didn’t say anything when everyone was talking? You know I don’t like fishing.”
“Well, it’s a beautiful day. Don’t worry, it’ll be dead calm on the water. No chance of getting seasick on such a calm morning.”
“That’s what you think.”
“I thought we’d fish, just for a couple of hours, before we go to meet the others at the Dinghy Dock for lunch.”
“Hmmm.” Oh yeah, now I remember someone talking about the Dinghy Dock. That’s probably what I agreed to, because I love that place. A ten-minute boat ride across the channel to tie up at the floating pub. Drinks and pub grub with the waves lapping the deck and gently rocking the whole structure is super relaxing so long as it actually is just gently rocking, and one of the best things about living here. We could spend the whole afternoon there, and when we came back, get a waffle cone and stroll along the seawall before going home. It sounds light years better than going to Carly’s.
I wish I hadn’t accepted Carly’s invitation to dinner, but I ran out of excuses, especially when she changed the invitation from Saturday to Sunday because I said I had a conflict. No doubt it’ll be some over-the-top display of her cooking chops, fancy china and crystal glasses. It’s what she loves to do. I get that, and I guess as a friend I should be supportive, but is it too late to cancel? I mull it over and realize I would feel guilty if I jammed out now.
“I have to be at Carly’s at four.”
“Yeah. Carly. I’ve been wondering. She’s married, right? So it’s not just the two of you. Why didn’t she suggest you bring me? Er, a date? Or why didn’t you suggest it?”
“Nullah, don’t feel bad. I quit taking a boyfriend with me when I go to visit them years ago.”
“Oh, yeah? Why?”
“It’s just, um, hard to explain. It’s awkward. They’d make you feel uncomfortable. Her husband, Derek. Derek would make you feel uncomfortable.”
“I can take it.”
“I can’t.”
“Then why don’t you invite them to go with us to the Dinghy Dock? That way if he makes you feel uncomfortable I can toss him overboard. Her too, so there wouldn’t be any witnesses.”
There’s a twinkle in his eye. We share a grin. I tell him, “they’d likely bring their kid.”
“Hmmm. That would be a problem.”
“Not really. If you think you wouldn’t want to toss her overboard along with the other two, that’s only because you haven’t met her. Anyway, if I know Carly, she’s already started on dinner and believe me, she would not welcome a change of plans.”
“You haven’t told them about me, have you.” It’s not a question.
“Well, umm, actually, no.” At his frown, I continue, “but don’t take it personally.” I put my mug down and get out of bed, heading for the bathroom. In the doorway, I turn back to him and say, “I haven’t seen them since you and I got together, you know.”
“You’re Facebook friends, aren’t you?”
“Sure, but I’m more of a lurker on other people’s posts. I don’t post any personal stuff. You know that.” I wonder why he’s pursuing this. Does he really think I’d Facebook-announce to the world that we’re dating? It’s only been a few months. I need to wait and see if it goes anywhere before I change my relationship status.
“I’ve told my friends. Hell, you’ve met my friends. You could’ve at least mentioned me in one of your texts,” he says.
<
br /> “We don’t text all that often and besides, I want to tell Carly in person.” He doesn’t look mollified, so I continue, “I’ll tell them about you tonight. I’ll suggest meeting them for drinks sometime so they can get to know you. Somewhere that we can make a quick getaway if we need to so we don’t have to drown anyone.”
Maybe I should tell him that every time I’ve taken a boyfriend to Carly’s, Derek acts like a cornered rat or more accurately, an obnoxious alpha male dog. Another alpha male like Nullah showing up would really start him snarling. He’d feel so intimidated and threatened he’d probably tell one of his racist jokes. There would be no “I’m a good guy” act like the one he puts on for the ladies. Or at least used to. I don’t remember the last time I saw them in a group setting.
Once I’m finished in the bathroom and get back in bed, I study Nullah’s face. He’s placated by my suggestion we double date with the Wiltons, but judging by the set of his jaw, only slightly.
“Okay, then,” he agrees. After a moment, he puts his hand on my arm, gently strokes it, and says, “so about today. How about we forget fishing and just tour around the islands a little bit, have a couple of Bailey’s coffees, then hit the Dinghy Dock early enough to get you back here in time.”
“Perfect! And while we’re doing that, I really wouldn’t mind watching you fish. For a little while.”
I snuggle up closer to him, careful not to spill my coffee. He gives me a squeeze and kisses my temple. I wonder if I’m in love.
Three
Carly
I’M CHOPPING ONIONS, preparing to cook lunch. This must be a particularly strong onion because it’s really burning my eyes and my nose is running like a tap. I pull another Kleenex out of the dispenser on the window ledge over the sink, dab my eyes, then blow loudly.
My gaze drifts out the window. There’s Derek, fussing over that bird feeder. I hear myself sigh. He spent the morning in town getting what he needed, and now he’ll spend the rest of the day fixing the darn thing. Before long it’ll be dangling from the walnut tree again.
Years ago, on the day he hung that feeder, I asked, can’t you put it at the back of the yard? Why put it on that tree? Aren’t we going to replace it with a magnolia or something more attractive? That darn thing’s messy: half dead, always dropping branches, and when it drops the nuts it attracts those noisy, squawking blue jays.
His response? They’re not blue jays, they’re Stellar’s Jays.
The walnut tree not only stayed, but kept growing. Each fall the walnuts drop, the noisy jays show up at the crack of dawn, pry the nuts out, and leave a mess of shells and pods that stain the cement if they’re not cleaned up right away. And the bird feeder adds to the mess with all the seeds scattered around.
The whole yard would go to wrack and ruin if it was left to Derek. He wants everything to look shipshape but I’m the one who pulls weeds and cleans up under the trees and scrubs the stains off the patio.
Now he’s out there on a ladder putting up the new, more secure system for hanging the feeder, making sure it can’t fall again. Finished, he gets down off the ladder, folds it up, and takes it into the garage.
Watching him, shirtless and in shorts, I still can’t believe that beautiful man is my husband. He’s tanned and toned and still has that six pack. When I met him, it was just his natural physique. Now he has to spend several nights a week at the gym to keep it.
He hasn’t changed. Not at all, in ten years. Well, not physically anyway. But between the bird houses and his recent interest in boating, we hardly talk to each other anymore. Now when he’s not on his phone or iPad or in his study on his laptop searching out ideas for bird houses, he’s finding out everything about boats. Most of the time I might as well not be there.
The bird feeder was only the beginning. He’s spent weeks, months even, building detailed replicas of famous houses for birds to live in. Several have cupolas and working weathervanes. They became so fancy they weren’t even for birds and are too nice to go out in the yard. Small ones, big ones, modern, colonial style, they clutter up the mantel, every vacant spot on the bookshelves, every window ledge. Dust collectors!
When he quit spending so much time on bird houses I took it as a good sign. Then he got interested in boats. Now I wish he’d go back to building bird houses.
Until his boat craze when he decided to restore the wharf in front of our house and the steps on the steep trail leading down to it, he built little things, not big things. He didn’t get around to fencing the yard until it was too late to keep little Jennifer from wandering off. He might never have built the fence if he hadn’t hoped it would keep Jeff and Linda’s cats out of our yard and away from the birds. That didn’t work, of course.
I was friendly with next door neighbours when we first moved in, though from day one Derek thought Jeff was an asshole and pronounced them both low class. When they refused to keep their cats in the house was when the arguments started. The cats are still a bone of contention and the main reason we’re not friendly with them despite living next to them all this time.
The neighbours on our other side only moved in a few years ago. They don’t have cats but they go back and forth to Jeff and Linda’s and sit out on their patio visiting and laughing, probably at us. They are not people we need to know.
At first I thought building bird houses was interesting and something I might try my hand at. Something we could do together. But women in general don’t have the spatial recognition ability for it and it’s obvious from how I would arrange furniture if left to my own devices that I certainly don’t. As for boating, something else we might do together as a family, he prefers to go for an hour or so when I’m getting dinner ready or clearing up after. Jennifer goes with him more often than I do.
I have mentioned to him that his daughter is growing up and he knows more about boats and bird feeders and bird houses than what’s going on in her life. He said he knows very well what’s going on in Jennifer’s life and points out they have quality one-on-one time on the boat, and also that he’s the one that goes to her soccer games and music lessons and teacher interviews. What do I do? Drop her off at the pool or at her friend’s house, that’s it. So I have nothing to say about it.
I don’t begrudge him his hobbies. His job is stressful and he works long hours. He needs quiet time to unwind, so he either takes the boat out, goes to the gym or works in the garage. Only a useless wife would expect her husband to come home after a hard day at the office and take on the job of running a household, and I am not a useless wife.
I wipe my eyes with a cool, wet paper towel, then scrape the diced onions into the frying pan along with chopped celery and bacon. I adjust the temperature and stir as the mixture sautés. Next, I add drained and rinsed kidney beans and a dollop of sour cream.
Derek doesn’t have a name for this dish, other than “those beans”. It’s more than just beans; it’s a complete lunch, to be served with cottage cheese and French fries. Early in our marriage he told me he wanted it once a week. His first wife didn’t like to cook and refused to touch an onion. She told him if he wanted those beans so badly, he could make them himself. Of course, cutting up onions is a stinky, eye-stinging job but I like doing things that please Derek, and besides, I’m way more compliant than his first wife. The fact I’m easy going is what first attracted him to me, he said. I know I’m not perfect but I try, and we’re still together, ten years on.
Derek looks the same as he did when we married, but I’ve put on a few pounds over the years. He says his first wife was slim. I tell him I, too, was slim when I was nineteen. Also his first wife never had a baby. He speaks of her so seldom you’d think she never existed, but when he does, it’s as if she was perfect in every way despite never making him his beans. It’s very sad she died so young, so I suppose it’s no wonder. Still, sometimes I feel like I just don’t measure up. I started packing on the pounds in college and I never lost the baby weight, but I do make him his beans. Besides, no one ca
n be a gourmet cook and skinny, too. Mom always told me: cook your man happy.
My best friend, Lita, is skinny. Lita and I were roommates back in the day. She married before Derek and I did, but never really settled in. Never mellowed. She left her husband after only three years. He was nice. I never understood why she left him. She told me that once the shine wore off, there was nothing left but warts. What shine? Lust! As if sex is the most important thing in a relationship.
Derek claims men find Lita too stubborn. She’s tough. A ball breaker. Aggressive. Outspoken. And won’t back down. The opposite of everything Derek looks for in a woman. He met Lita when he came to Nanaimo to article. He says she always looked down on him because he was still articling and she’d been a lawyer for several years by then. Of course! He didn’t go to law school right out of high school like she did. She had other faults, too, but it didn’t take him long to discover them, and dump her. Besides, by then he was falling in love with me.
When it happened, Lita claimed she dumped him. Said she was getting sick of him always questioning where she was and who she called, and then he slapped her when she told him it was none of his business. Like it was somehow wrong for him to be interested in what was going on in her life! That was the last straw.
Derek claimed he never slapped her and said no one likes to admit they’ve been dumped so she lied about it. Saying she lied is a bit harsh. I think she just didn’t want to admit the truth. Derek started with her but despite Lita being the pretty one, ended up picking me.
I got pregnant almost right away. Imagine that, in this day and age! I had quit taking The Pill because of weight gain. I didn’t have a steady boyfriend and I thought I could avoid pregnancy by using condoms. That was before I started dating Derek! He said he wanted me so bad sometimes he just couldn’t stop long enough to put one on. Besides, it doesn’t feel as good for the man, and he assured me he had been around enough to know what to do. No system of birth control is perfect.
The Feeder Page 1