“See? I knew you wouldn’t like them. But anyway, you won’t get a chance. And besides, if I made him sound like a pansy, he’s not. I guess you’d say he’s in touch with his feminine side, fussy about his clothes and like that, but he’s only a little shorter than you are and he works out, too. In fact, he’s the poster boy for office workers the world over, according to his personal trainer.”
“Oh, I see,” he says, and slides across the tub so he’s between my legs and his hands are on the edge of the tub, one on each side of my shoulders. “You think I would only beat on him if he was a pansy, as you put it? You seem to have a low opinion of me, babe.” He tries to look offended but the twinkle in his eye and his tiny grin give him away.
I slide my hand down his washboard stomach and discover something that makes me grin, too.
Seven
Carly
I HEAR THE back door open and close, and then voices. I’m expecting Jennifer, but not Derek. What is he doing home from work so early? I sit up as the two of them come out of the back hall and into the family room.
Jennifer breezes through the room with barely a glance in my direction. Derek has a bouquet of flowers and comes to stand beside me.
“I brought you these,” he says as he hands me the bouquet. “I hope they make you feel better.”
“Thank you,” I murmur.
“I’m home early because I thought I’d pick Jennifer up from school.”
“I’m sorry, Derek, I was just resting for a minute. I… I… um, I just didn’t get much done today. I haven’t got anything ready. I didn’t expect you home so early.” I start to get to my feet.
“Here,” Derek says, reaching for the flowers, “let me take those. I’ll go put them in water. You stay put.”
I gladly sink back against the pillows while he takes the flowers into the kitchen. I hear him whistling as he opens and closes cupboard doors, then calls out, “where do you keep the vases?”
“Under the sink,” I reply. There’s shuffling noises and the clatter of glass; the water runs, and in a few minutes Derek is back in the family room. He puts the flowers on the coffee table and sits on the couch next to me, taking my hand.
Jennifer comes back downstairs and I hear the pantry door open. “There’s no cookies!” she shouts. “Why didn’t you make cookies today?”
“Your mother isn’t feeling well, Jennifer,” Derek calls back. “You know she got hurt when she fell.”
“But I’m hungry!”
“Get something out of the fridge. Cheese or something. There must be something else for your snack.”
After grumbling and rummaging in the fridge, Jennifer leaves the kitchen and heads up the stairs, leaving Derek next to me on the couch. He squeezes my hand and says, “about last night. I’m sorry, honey. I had too much to drink. I realize it now. I lost control. I just couldn’t help it.”
I take a deep breath, wondering, am I supposed to tell him it’s okay? I guess that’s what he expects. I don’t want him to get mad again but I can’t quite bring myself to say it.
“I apologized. Don’t you have anything to say?”
“Umm… I’m sorry. I, er. I know you had a bad day.”
“That’s right. But you don’t know the half of it. Honey, I feel so bad! I’m going to tell you something… I haven’t wanted to tell you this, she’s your best friend and everything, but now I have to tell you.” He heaves a great sigh, releases my hand and sits up straighter. “You know Lita has always had a thing for me?”
“You mean before. She had a thing for you before.”
“Well, she’s never given up.”
“What do you mean?”
“She keeps after me, honey! I’ve told her so many times I’m not interested because I love you so much and I would never, er, do anything, what she wants, with her! But you know even before we were married, after you and I got together, she kept after me.” He fixes me with an intense look. “Yesterday was the worst.”
“I know you had a bad day. The bird thing,” I nod, remembering the bird feeder and then no French fries. I should have realized how stressed he was when he started drinking scotch even before he went up to shower.
“The feeder, not ‘the bird thing’. But it was more than that,” he says. He sighs again. “She made a pass at me.”
“What? I don’t believe it!”
“Well, believe it. Have I ever lied to you?”
I’m not sure, but I can’t say that. I shake my head.
“Of course I haven’t. So, when we started down to the dock so she could see my new boat—where you wouldn’t be able to see us—she pressed herself up against me and tried to kiss me. I pushed her away! She wouldn’t let go! Finally I broke away and went to the patio. When she came and sat down, I’d had time to compose myself and I went on as if nothing had happened. I know how much the dinner meant to you. How much effort you had put into it! So I didn’t want to spoil it for you by confronting her. I made myself a drink. She wanted a peach cider, so I gave her one.”
“But I saw her come up. She was ahead of you. She was on the patio before you were.”
“Yeah. When I pushed her away she ran past me.” He looks off over my shoulder for a second, then takes a breath and hurries on. “I couldn’t put up with that, honey! You know I couldn’t.”
“So why did you… Why did you put your hand on her thigh?”
“Oh, you saw that? See! I didn’t tell you about that because then I’d have to explain and I knew it would hurt you! I was trying to be gentle with her, to make her understand, but in a nice way, so as not to ruin the mood, not with the beautiful dinner you had worked on all day. I told her that she isn’t going to get with me again because I’m still so much in love with you. I just put my hand on her knee and she squirmed so it slid up… Oh, god! I hate to say it but I had to get rude with her. She didn’t take it well. Did you see all the nasty looks she gave me for the rest of the evening?”
I manage a slight nod. I had noticed the strange, nasty looks. Now I realize she was mad at him for rejecting her.
“And then she was playing footsies with me under the table. I ignored it. What could I do? But when she finally left, I was angry about the whole debacle! I thought it was your fault. I thought, Carly must see what she’s been doing, why does she keep inviting that awful woman?”
“No… I…”
“I know it’s not your fault, honey. It was my fault, totally my fault. But I had too much to drink. It was just the booze. My emotions! I thought you might blame me. That would ruin our relationship. What if you didn’t believe it was her, all her? What if you thought I had somehow invited her advances? You might leave me and I don’t know what I’d do if I lost you. I lost control. I’m so sorry, honey.” He pulls me into his arms and asks, “it won’t happen again, I promise. Forgive me?”
I squeeze my eyes shut, begin to relax into the manly warmth of him, and murmur, “yes.”
He smothers my face with kisses, then gets to his feet. “Good. You stay here. I’ll go get changed, and then I’ll mow the lawn.”
“But your feeder…”
“I know I was going to finish that up, but I don’t want you having to mow the lawn until you’re feeling better. I thought we could go to the Simon House for dinner tonight. So when you’re up to it, why don’t you go and put on some nice clothes.”
He gets up, then looks down at me and smiles. “By the way, you can sleep in tomorrow. Your job at the café? You don’t ever have to go back there. When I called and made your excuses this morning, I told them you quit.”
What? I’m blindsided. I manage to stammer out, “but I… I like it! I don’t want to quit.”
“It’s a nuisance, you getting out of bed so early every morning. Too much of a nuisance. You know it always wakes me.”
“But it seems like you sleep through.”
“I don’t say anything, but I’m awake. And it’s a damn nuisance having to deal with Jennifer. When I’m really busy
at work, I’d like to go in earlier and instead I have to hang around here until she’s ready.”
“I’m sorry. You should’ve told me. I could change to a shift later in the day.”
“No. I’m doing great now, you’ve seen that. I’m going to make partner soon. Everyone knows it. Look, I had no trouble getting that loan for the boat, did I? We don’t need the money. You’ve got plenty to do here, looking after Jennifer and the house and the husband that loves you.”
“But I should at least give notice.”
“No. I don’t want you going there again, having to work with those ball-busting feminist high school drop-outs. You’re not like them. You know you don’t fit in there. They’re beneath you. I told them you wouldn’t be coming back. And honey? Speaking of ball-busters, I don’t think you should be friends with Lita. Stay away from her. No more invitations, okay?”
I nod slowly. My head is spinning. I’m out of a job on top of the news about Lita? The early morning hours of the job weren’t the greatest, but the ladies I work with aren’t ball-busters. Sweet, shy Ariana, a student working on her PhD, always ready with a smile. Georgia close to celebrating her fiftieth wedding anniversary, taking care of her ailing husband. She should be retired but they need the money, always cheerful despite her troubles. It was a busy time, getting everything ready for the café to open. We worked hard but we worked well together and had fun doing it. Now I won’t be going there anymore?
And Lita? How could she pretend to be my friend when all the while she was trying to get Derek away from me? How could I have been oblivious to it? Most of the time it seems she really doesn’t like him. It must be an act, so I won’t suspect anything. Back then, she was too proud to admit he dumped her and not the other way around. Still, we’ve been friends for so long. If nothing has happened, it’s not too late. I’ll tell her to leave him alone, and put this behind us.
“Maybe I should talk to Lita…”
“No!” he snaps. His eyes turn black and intense as they do when he’s getting angry. “You think I don’t realize how she poisons you against me? You stay away from her!”
It’s true that every chance she gets, she criticizes him. I whisper, “okay.”
The tension leaves his shoulders and his frown relaxes. “Good,” he says. “Now I’ll go and do the lawn.”
I breathe a sigh of relief as he turns and walks away.
Simon House. Haven’t been there in years. Not since my elbow was dislocated.
Eight
Lita
AFTER THAT DINNER, I decided my friendship with Carly was over. Nullah’s been harping at me about giving her another chance, something one on one such as coffee at Starbuck’s. It bugs me, mostly because I know he’s the one who’s being adult about this. So I texted her. About six times. After the last text when she came up with another reason why she couldn’t meet me, I called. She didn’t pick up.
Although she goes to work early, she also finishes early and has most of the day at home. For a virtually stay-at-home mother of one child who’s in school all day, Carly is remarkably unavailable, too busy all this week and into the next. I can’t believe the excuses she’s come up with. I’m not so obtuse I don’t get the message: I am not important enough for her to postpone her daily floor washing, furniture polishing, weed pulling or shirt ironing and would you believe it’s been months since she washed the top of the cabinets?
Nullah points out that she has no vehicle and says, “maybe you should offer to pick her up.”
“You don’t think I thought of that? She is obviously just as done with me as I am with her,” I tell him. “Now she doesn’t even respond to my texts. Fuck her and her asshole husband!”
“And you said you weren’t into threesomes.”
“Piss off,” I mutter. Somehow at this moment his little grin and the twinkle in his eye is annoying rather than endearing.
He lets out a little snort, then says, “how about this: don’t give her a chance to say no. Get a couple of donuts or something and show up on her doorstep one of these mornings.”
“One of these mornings that I’m not working?”
“You’re flexible. You’re not chained to your desk.”
I consider it for a moment, then ask, “why do you give a shit?”
“Why?” he drains his coffee, then signals the server and asks for the bill before answering. “I know you have other friends, but none that you’ve had for so long. Since high school. You’re lucky and I envy that.”
“You’ve got friends. Lots of them.”
“Sure, but my old mates, the ones from school, I left behind when I moved here. You two have history.”
“Well, people grow apart, you know. If you’d stayed in Australia you might not even like your old mates anymore.”
The server brings the bill. Nullah pays and we walk out holding hands, through the parking lot and get settled in his truck. As we’re driving away, I say, “you know, I think part of the reason I’ve had it with Carly is that I’ve lost all respect for her. I couldn’t believe it when they started dating. I told her I thought he has narcissistic personality disorder and that it’s incurable! She just blew it off. Made some comment about being a lawyer doesn’t make me a psychologist. Didn’t seem to care that the main reason for us splitting was him being too controlling, or even that he slapped me.”
“He slapped you?”
“Only once. But it was hard, and it hurt. That was enough. Why would she let herself in for that? And now it’s as if that man controls every part of her life. I don’t understand why she doesn’t stand up for herself.”
“Low self esteem. She should join one of my self defense classes. Knowing how to defend yourself does great things for a person’s positive self-image and confidence.”
“You’ve never suggested me joining.”
He barks a laugh and says, “you’re right, as small as you are, it would be good for you to know a few things. But you don’t have to join a class unless you want to. I’ll give you a few pointers, one on one.” He manages to make a leer look cute, then continues, “I’ve never noticed you had a shortage of confidence, though, babe.” He reaches across the console, takes my hand and draws it to settle on his thigh with his big paw resting on top of it. “You didn’t put up with him for long, did you?”
“Too long. A few months. Long enough for him to think he somehow had the right, or even the duty, to slap me over something so trivial I don’t even remember what it was. As if I was a child to be punished. I realized it wasn’t going to get better. She never should have gone out with him in the first place but it’s not too late to get rid of him and I just don’t understand why she doesn’t.”
“No way of knowing. She has a kid now, maybe she stays because of that. Or finances. But I do think you should give her another chance.”
“I’ll think about it,” I agree. “Oh. By the way, your friend Craig is an investment advisor at Dennison Wealth Management, right?”
“Uh, yeah. Why?”
“Are they moving?”
“Not that I’ve heard. Again, why?”
“Nothing important. It was just, I was thinking about something Derek said at dinner. He said his firm is taking over the top floor of the building they’re in. You know, where Craig’s company is. I told him I hadn’t heard Dennison was moving. You should’ve seen his face. I think he realized he was caught in a lie. He said he didn’t say it was right away, just that it was soon. I should’ve told him I know one of the partners at Dennison and he hadn’t said anything about it. Instead, I let him get away with it. As usual, I let his self-aggrandizing and lying go unchallenged. I guess I thought maybe Craig just hadn’t mentioned it.”
“That would surprise me. I had drinks with him not that long ago. Something like that takes planning. I’m sure he would’ve been talking about it.”
“I think so too.”
“I’ll call him and find out, if you want.”
“Yes, please,” I nod. Nul
lah pilots the truck to the curb in front of my office and says, “see you tonight? We can throw that salmon on the barbie.”
“Sounds good. See you tonight.” I lean across and give him a kiss before hopping out onto the sidewalk.
It’ll be interesting to hear what Nullah’s friend Craig says about relocating their office, but I’ll bet dimes to donuts Derek was just shooting his mouth off, full of shit as usual. If I’m going to have any kind of relationship with Carly going forward, letting Derek get away with this kind of bullshit has to end. No more Ms. Nice. I will make it a point to fact check him in real time, right on my phone while he sits there watching me do it so Carly can see what a lying, pompous ass he is. I won’t wear a skirt so he can’t put his hand up it. If he tries anything else, ever, I will call him out on it right when it happens. Although maybe the course of least resistance would be to make sure Nullah always goes with me. I wonder what would happen if Derek tried dissing Nullah over his name. Derek’s not a small man but I think Nullah could take him. Of course I wouldn’t want them to actually fight. It’s just something I do in my mind. But I’m sure the visit would be chilly, at best.
But first, I have to see Carly. I suppose I need to apologize but although I wrack my brain, I can’t think of anything I did that was offensive enough to make her so mad she wouldn’t even answer my call. I’ll ask her, and whatever it was, I’m sure we can put it behind us.
***
WEDNESDAY, 10:00 A.M. and I’m on Carly’s doorstep. It’s a school day, it won’t be an early dismissal day and naturally teacher’s professional development days are always either Mondays or Fridays so unless she’s sick, Jennifer won’t be at home. The SUV is not in the driveway, there’s no room to park in the garage so it can’t be there, meaning Derek isn’t home either. On my way here I went to the Tim Horton’s drive through and got half a dozen muffins. Box in hand, I ring the doorbell.
There’s movement inside and I think Carly is coming to open the door, when I hear her ask, “who is it?”
The Feeder Page 5