I didn't give myself time to think before I answered. “Oh, no, don’t worry. He knows how serious I am about being able to protect myself. He seems to trust you and I’m a virgin, so he trusts me too.” Why the hell did I just share that? I tried not to close my eyes in mortification.
He lifted one eyebrow in confusion and looked at me for what felt like eternity. “I'm sorry, I just assumed since you two are dating… are you not serious about each other?”
“We are a couple. It’s just that we haven't, you know, gone there yet.” Opening up to him was incredibly easy, especially about something so personal. I was really hoping the conversation would end soon though, before I shared something really stupid.
After all, he was our trainer and he needed to know me better in order to know what would work best for me as an individual before I started in on the self-defense program. That was why I felt the need to explain myself. It had to be.
“Are you afraid he's with someone else?”
Where the hell did that come from? “No.” I got queasy. “Why, has Matt said something that would make you think that?”
He went from leaning up against his desk to sitting next to me on the couch, angling his body so he could look directly into my face. “No, he hasn't said a thing and I'm sure you have nothing to worry about, but I was his age and I don't know how he could control himself around you without some other form of release.” His voice was so low, it was nearly a whisper.
I inhaled slowly to calm the acid that was making its way up into my throat. What am I supposed to say to a comment like that? I just sat there looking at him, completely dumbfounded.
He leaned in closer and whispered, “If you were older, I know I couldn't control myself around you.”
“You think I’m too young?” I asked without thinking.
His lips were inches from my ear. “Seducing a minor would get us both in trouble.”
I felt a throb between my legs as I inhaled his scent. His body, the energy around him, positively electrified me and I felt my thoughts of Matt slide into a muted, selfish place inside. A small part of me knew this was incredibly inappropriate, that I was treading on unfaithful ground, but the rest of me was hoping Scott would take charge like I’d seen him do at the anti-bullying meetings and solve my virginity dilemma right now.
He pushed back from me and I was finally able to exhale the breath I’d been holding onto. Standing up, he reached his hand out to me and pulled me up on my feet, but then didn't let go. I stared at our hands instead of looking at him because I was afraid he would see the disappointment flash across my face.
He used his other hand to tuck a little piece of my hair behind my ear that had escaped my pony-tail. “The next few months before you're eighteen will be a test of my willpower.” He pulled me towards the door. “Let's go run and let out some of this energy.”
Two steps ahead of me all the way down the stairs and walking through the gym, I had the perfect opportunity to appreciate the view. His body was solid and gorgeous with wide, muscular shoulders and large hands that I could imagine being capable of pleasure I couldn’t imagine. I had to look away and tamp down the urge to throw myself at him.
He picked two treadmills, side-by-side. I didn't need to warm up, so I started in with a steady jog and let me thoughts run loose.
Why would he have that conversation with me? I mean, he could be some creepy guy that goes after young girls but if that were the case, why hadn’t he tried to make a move on me? His expression had been serious the whole time and he’d probably noticed the effect of his nearness on my body. Was he trying to tell me to move on from Matt because he was sleeping with someone else? Wouldn't he have just told me straight out, if that were the case?
Maybe it was a test to see what my reaction was to him hitting on me or to see if I would cheat on Matt. As close as he and Matt seemed to be, this seemed to make the most sense which meant I’d done the right thing by not doing anything.
The whole situation made me a little mad, actually, now that I was sure I’d nailed down the reason for our private meeting.
Looking over at his machine, I noticed enough time had passed that he’d started his cool-down, so I got right off mine and bolted for the doors without saying goodbye. All of that running hadn't helped calm me down at all. A cold shower was definitely in order.
I decided to talk to Matt about getting our first time together out-of-the-way. I’d make it sound more romantic, of course, but it needed to happen. I also decided not to tell Kat or anyone about my conversation with Scott. Matt would say something and I wanted Scott to think his talk had no effect on me. After thinking about it more, I was totally confident his talk had been a test. A test I passed with flying colors.
Chapter 10
Katherine
The new school year had barely started and I was already yearning for graduation. That’s a bad sign. I hadn’t been in the greatest of moods lately and I felt bad for taking it out on Alissa. She seemed to be sidetracked lately, and wasn’t talking to me as often as her typical behavior dictated. I suspected she was hiding something. We needed to have a girl’s night at my house so we could stay up and I could get to the bottom of what was eating at her.
“You do know I can't read your mind,” I said, hinting for information. Alissa was sitting across from me at the lunch table, lost in thought, picking at her food listlessly with a fork.
“I'm just thinking about Matt and how we need to take our relationship to the next level.”
“I'm not very experienced but when contemplating having sex, shouldn't you be smiling, or at least the tiniest bit excited?” I eyed her. She looked like she was thinking about putting her dog to sleep, not having sex for the first time.
“Yeah, but it's stressing me out,” she sighed.
“And?” I took a big bite of my applesauce, spilling some down my shirt.
“And, what? I'm under a lot of pressure,” she yelled a little too loud. She reached across the table with her napkin to blot my shirt.
“Alissa, maybe that's a sign that you're not ready? I'm sure Matt is perfectly fine waiting a bit longer.” I tried to sound confident, but I had a good idea of how boys were. Their little brains between their legs got way more screen time than the one on top of their shoulders.
“I can't make him wait longer. He's not even in high school anymore so if I don't give it up, I’m sure he won't have any trouble finding someone who will.” She pinched her upper nose and I knew she was genuinely stressed out.
I was about to reply when I noticed a guy sitting further down the bench looking over at us. Instead of being mad that he was eavesdropping, I smiled because not only was he cute, he was smiling back at me.
“I'm not listening, if that's what you're worried about. I just don't know anyone and you're in my third period history class and the only face I recognize,” he drawled. He scooted closer to me and held out his hand for a shake. I was about to take it, but then I remembered the only guys that talked to me were out to take my virginity.
“I don't know who you are, but that was the worst pickup line I've ever heard. Just scoot away and leave us alone.” I looked back at Alissa who looked somewhat confused as her eyes traveled back and forth between the mystery guy and me.
“I'm sorry about my friend over here. She's really bad at introductions. I'm Alissa and this is Katherine.” My mouth dropped open as I stared at my traitor friend.
I didn't move my eyes away from her as I heard him say, “I'm Jamison. I just moved here from Montana. I really didn't mean to interrupt.”
“Not at all,” Alissa said looking back at me.
“I'm sorry. I'm not much a people person.” I peeked over at him and he chuckled.
“I noticed. Well, Katherine, I will see you again tomorrow. Alissa, it was nice to meet you, too.” He got his stuff and went over to the trash to throw the rest of his lunch away. My eyes stayed on him until he walked through the exit doors.
Alissa rea
ched over and smacked my arm. “Why were you so rude? He was smiling at you, dummy!”
“If you recall, the last time a guy smiled at me, he was trying to take my ladyhood. Excuse me for being slightly paranoid,” I whispered.
“Ladyhood?” Alissa laughed until tears fell down her cheeks. I didn't even crack a smile because she was laughing at my expense and I felt bad for talking to Jamison like I had. Not a good first impression for the new guy.
I ended up sharing my last period with Jamison as well. I sat in the back row next to him, intending to apologize again. The teacher hadn't entered the room and everyone was talking amongst themselves. I looked over at him and he was looking at me, too.
“I'm sorry about lunch. Maybe someday I'll explain why I said what I said. Not that you would be interested, but I'm not usually like that and I just wanted you to know.” I talked really fast and I had no doubt I was blushing.
He shrugged. “It’s no big deal. I've been to so many schools and, trust me, you're not the first gal to assume I'm hitting on them right off the bat.” His smile was so friendly and I loved his red hair. He wasn’t gorgeous, but there was something about him that made my heart flutter. The teacher walked in and brought our attention back to the front of the room. I spent the rest of class trying to look at him from the corner of my eye. He was a little skinnier than I normally liked but what excited me the most was that he had no clue what had happened last year.
~*~
The rain was coming down a little harder than I liked considering I’d decided to walk home, but luckily it wasn't too far. I noticed my mom's car parked in our spot and instantly got a bad feeling. I ran inside the house and immediately screamed, “Mom? Where are you?”
“In the bathroom.” She made horrible noises and I knew better than to walk in when I heard those kinds of sounds.
“Do you need anything?”
“No, stay away! I think I caught the flu.”
“All right, let me know if you need me.” She started gagging. Ugh, I better not catch it.
My phone started ringing almost as soon as I laid down on the bed. It had to be Alissa because the only other person most likely to call me was camped out in the bathroom for the rest of the night.
“Hey.”
“I’m coming over,” Alissa belted out.
“You probably shouldn't. Mom is sick.”
“Okay, then can I come pick you up so we can go talk at the coffee place?” She sounded frantic.
“Sure, I just need to change. How far away are you?”
“I'm parked outside your apartment.” She hung up.
I quickly changed my shirt and walked silently toward the bathroom. I couldn't hear anything so I knocked.
“I think I'm dying.” My mom sounded horrible.
“I'm going to get coffee with Alissa. Do you need me to pick up anything while I'm out?”
“No. Don't be late. I'll probably be in bed by the time you get back. Love you.”
“Love you too, Mom.” I ran out to Alissa's car, dodging rain-drops.
I barely had a chance to get buckled in before Alissa started ranting.
“You know, I’ve never understood why sex is so important. There are plenty of other things to do besides have sex. Why isn't being in my presence enough? If someone doesn’t want to have sex, why is that an excuse to break up with me? Sure, I need some practice using other methods to make sure I take care of him, but it's not like he can't do it himself. It’s just pathetic to cheat on someone just because you need a piece of ass. It's not like I don't have other options. I look older than I am and I'm hot, damn it!” Her car into an open parking space and if there hadn't been a curb, she would have hit the car parked on the other side.
“Wait, what? Matt cheated on you?” I was still trying to make sense of what she’d said.
“No! At least, I don't think so.” She turned off the car and twisted to face me. “Scott said something the other day. I don’t remember exactly what, and now I’m freaking out because we haven’t slept together and he’s not a virgin, so I’m sure he’s frustrated. When boys get frustrated, they cheat!” She tried to calm down by taking long, deep breaths but it didn’t seem to be helping.
“All right, I'm going to stop you right there. Do not be one of those girls who thinks her boyfriend is cheating all the time without knowing for sure. I know you're freaking out about the sex thing, but it's not going to be good the first time. In fact, it will probably hurt. There aren’t any fireworks and no matter how hard you try to make it unforgettable, you're going to want to forget it because it'll suck. At least that’s what my mom keeps telling me.” I took a breath and reached out to hold her hands in mine. “If you want to have sex, then have sex. And if it’s so unspectacular that it makes you consider becoming a nun, then find another guy who can give you what you need. I don't think Matt would cheat on you, for what that’s worth.” I looked over at her shocked face and then she busted out laughing.
“Oh, you are so right, Kat. That's why I love you.” She reached for the door handle and I grabbed her arm to stop her.
“Wait, did I hear you right when you said you had other guys to move on to?”
She looked at me for a few seconds, obviously debating how to answer that question. “No. I mean, I'm sure I could find someone else if I really wanted to, but I don't want to.”
I'm not sure I believed her but if there was one thing I knew about Alissa, it was that she would only share information when she was damn good and ready. “All right. Let's go get us some caffeine, woman.”
The shop was dead, probably because of the rain. I stood looking at the menu above the cashier’s counter when I felt someone tap my shoulder. I turned and was face-to-face with Jamison.
“Fancy meeting you here. Howdy to you, too, Alissa.” Standing next to Jamison, my heart raced. He wasn't not attractive in an oh-my-gosh-you're-so-gorgeous kind of way but he had a definite charm and he wore cowboy boots. We didn’t see that around here too often.
I stared at them a little too long because he looked down and asked, “Is there something on my boot?” He sounded worried as he looked at the tops and bottoms.
I chuckled and smiled at him. He really was too cute. “No, I was just wondering why you're wearing cowboy boots when there isn't a farm anywhere close by?” Alissa giggled at that comment.
“It's my style. Are they not cool?” He pouted and I wanted to nibble that lower lip of his.
“I have a table over there if you two want to sit with me. Maybe you can give me some good info for surviving Rochester?”
He looked so pitiful that Alissa and I couldn’t help but answer, “Yeah, sure,” at the same time.
I ordered my vanilla latte and Alissa got the most confusing-sounding drink, as usual. “Can I please have a venti, iced, nonfat, caramel macchiato, upside down, no whip?” she asked, digging in her purse for her wallet.
I was surprised they knew how to make it the right way. It was like hearing another language being spoken and not having a translator present.
I looked out the window on my way over to the table. The rain had stopped and the sun was shining. One of the annoying things about New York was the weather seemed to change every five minutes. I loved rain and how it made me feel so comfy. Snow had the same effect on me but there was something special about the sound of rain hitting glass windows and pattering against roofs that I found very relaxing.
Alissa talked the most during our hour-long conversation with Jamison. When we started warning him about the D.A.'s, I got a little nervous that Alissa would tell him what had happened but she kept her mouth shut, thank goodness.
What I knew more about was what varying teachers expected in their classrooms but I didn't talk on that subject for too long because I noticed two sets of eyes glassing over.
“So, I know Alissa is dating Matt, but who are you dating Katherine?” He took a sip of his coffee, looking at me over the rim of his cup.
Alissa giggled
and answered for me. “Kat doesn't date. She's a writer and feels like boys are a distraction.”
“I didn't say I would never. I just haven't found any guys I've wanted to date.” I kicked Alissa under the table.
“That is what we would call useful information, back in Montana.” Jamison pulled out his vibrating cell phone and typed out a text. “Ladies, it's time I headed back home. It was really great talking to you both. Maybe tomorrow I can join you in the lunchroom?”
“Sure, anytime.” Alissa looked at me and nodded her head towards him, encouraging me to say the same.
“Of course. See you tomorrow in history.”
“I’ll be there.” He smiled at us while putting his cell phone back in his pocket. I was disappointed he didn't ask for my phone number. We watched him walk out the door and I couldn't help but check out his butt, which was a little flat. He seemed otherwise proportionate, so I decided to overlook that flaw.
Maybe I’m a snob. It's not like I’ve got a long list of options.
Alissa was looking at me with a huge, goofy smile. “I don't think he looked at me but maybe twice the entire conversation,” she said.
“Whatever. Am I the only one that didn't really learn anything about him?”
“Hmm, I guess not. Maybe he doesn't like to share things about himself.” Alissa shrugged.
“Or maybe I’ll have to go all Sherlock Holmes on his Montana ass.” I looked at the time on my phone. “Let's go. I need to make sure my mom didn't pass out on the bathroom floor.”
Chapter 11
Alissa
So far senior year hadn't sucked as much as I’d expected after what happened to Katherine. The D.A.'s stayed away from us and I imagined that was because most of them had cars and either ditched or left campus for lunch. Either way, it was for the best because I seemed to be running off of pure adrenaline since I’d started working out and I would have hated to find myself in the middle of a fight.
I avoided being alone with Scott because I really didn’t want him to realize I was becoming more and more attracted to him. Matt kept him occupied, spending more time in one-on-one sessions, so I was able to do my workouts alone. It was a self-preservation method that I was finding very effective. I still couldn’t make up my mind regarding our last conversation, and whether it had been inappropriate or not, but the more I thought about what he’d said, the more I wished I’d shown him just how grown-up I really was.
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