by Jayne Blue
I wanted to tell him to shut the fuck up. How could he, how could any of the club think I’d walk away from them? Every battle I’d fought had been for them. This club was part of my blood. I wouldn’t know how to live without it.
But now that she was back in my life, I wasn’t going to live without Ava again either. So I didn’t answer Sly then and there. I met his eyes and nodded.
“She’s waiting on me,” I said instead. “If I don’t haul ass up there, there won’t be a choice to make.”
Sly nodded and his face cracked into a smile. But questions remained behind it. If I had to make a choice between Ava and the club, he’d just told me where he stood. I swallowed hard then gave him a smile back. Then I turned and headed for the door.
Chapter Fifteen
Ava
When the door opened and Dex walked back in, I let out a breath I hadn’t realized I’d been holding. I wanted to be angry with him. I wanted to throw something at him and rail at him for leaving me again not knowing if and when he’d come back. But when his broad shoulders filled the doorway and he looked at me with that cockeyed smile and gleam in his eyes, something inside me melted. It was like the first time I saw him again after so many years away. It was dangerous. So dangerous to give into everything he wanted from me. I knew better. Of course I did. But he drew me to him like an orbital pull.
I went to him.
Dex took a stride forward and enveloped me in his arms. I belonged there. I always had. There were questions between us. A million of them. But for now, I just wanted to feel the solid weight of his hands against my back. I tilted my head back and let him kiss me in that perfect way he did. His salty lips pressing lightly against mine for just an instant before he grew more urgent, letting out a sigh that was part primal groan as his own urges started to take over. He feathered kisses down my throat and made me drunk with it. I kept my head tilted back as he found the hem of my tank top and pulled it swiftly over my head. Then he slid down to his knees. Gooseflesh rose across my stomach as he ran his tongue over me and circled my belly button.
God. All day I’d rehearsed what I wanted to say to him over and over. Things had to be different. My eyes were open about what club life was like no matter how many times he and Sly would try to tell me times had changed. But all of it went straight out of my head as my focus moved to points lower down.
I swayed, almost losing my balance, but Dex’s hands were on my ass, holding me against him. He reached around and undid the clasp of my jeans and my hands found their way to the top of his head as he sank lower. I was on fire from his touch. Beads of moisture pooled at the juncture of my thighs as he dragged my pants down, taking my panties with them.
Dex wasted no time. He slid my jeans off and had me standing naked before him. He looked up at me with such tenderness as I ran my hand over the top of his skull, smoothing his thick, black hair. He gave me just that moment, a look of adoration, before he brought his head forward and set himself to his purpose.
I gasped as his grip became firm on the back of my thighs. He pushed them, forcing me to stand with my legs spread wide apart as he knelt before me. He planted soft kisses over my mound. I shuddered from his touch; my sex began to throb. I was hot, impossibly wet, and nearly powerless to do anything other than surrender.
But oh, I wanted nothing more than this sweet surrender. I was a fool to think I could do anything other than give myself to Dex whenever he beckoned. It wasn’t fair. How could he still know how to play me like an instrument? Was I that weak? Later. There would be time for talk and reason and all the things I wanted to say to him. For now though, I wanted nothing more than to keep feeling him feather the tip of his tongue against my most sensitive flesh. He coaxed and teased me, making me throb all the more for him until he finally fastened his lips around my swollen little clit and sucked me there.
I cried out and swayed backward, the sensation almost too intense as he sucked and stretched me wide, his tongue probing in and out. I thrust my hips forward, my body searching for the friction I needed to find my first release. It was like no time had passed at all between us. He still knew exactly how to turn me on and keep me there. I was his. He’d claimed me all those years ago. My body was sure, even if my head spun with doubt.
“Dex,” I gasped. He ignored my pleas. He was merciless with his tongue, suckling and teasing me until my knees shook. My grip tightened against his head and I drove him deeper against me. He assaulted me with quick, expert flicks of his tongue. I gasped, crying out his name even as some corner of my brain knew how thin the walls of the Den really were. But he had me. He owned me in that moment and he had settled himself to the task of proving it, knowing he’d have me begging for more every step of the way.
And then I did start to beg. “Please! Don’t stop. Baby.”
Dex tilted his head back and looked up at me. His eyes flashed with lust and he knew he had me exactly how he wanted me. He wanted me always with my legs spread, throbbing and wet for him. And with just a look, he would get it. God help me I craved the pleasure of it. With a quick, strong motion that left me panting, he hooked his hands under my ass, lifted me then set me down on the bed. He took my ankles in his hands and spread me wide to get unfettered access to my poor, swollen sex. I wanted to coil myself around him, pull him to me, but he would have none of that. Dex McLain liked to dominate and in his bed, I was only too pleased to submit. His gaze sent shivers down me as he settled it between my legs so he could get an eyeful of what he made of me. There was no denying it. No hiding my own lust as I quivered for him.
He lavished me with kisses along my inner thighs, making me squirm with anticipation as he worked his way back to my hungry sex. He loved to watch me like this. He always had. He kept my legs wide apart, admiring his handiwork as he watched me grow wetter, still desperate for his tongue, his cock, anything he chose to give me.
“Beg me, Ava,” he whispered as gently nipped my thigh.
“Dex, please,” I said.
“Please what, baby?”
“Please. Oh please, fuck me. Make me come for you. I can’t ... you have to let me.”
“Mmm, I wish you could see what I see right now.” He tapped my clit with his finger, sending an electric shock of pleasure straight through me. Then he ran that finger down and dipped it into the pool of moisture between my swollen folds, spreading them apart even wider so he could watch me drip for him. He kept one hand against my thigh, pinning me flat against the bed as I bucked against him. While he delivered his sweet torture, I could do nothing but grow even wetter for him. I belonged to him and there was no use trying to deny it. Not now.
He kissed and lapped at me as I clutched the sheets, bracing for the delicious assault on my senses. Then he fastened his lips around me again and I thrust against him. He sucked me with such skill as I took my pleasure. I balled my fist against my mouth to keep from screaming through the shattering release he finally let me have.
I quaked and writhed against the bed as Dex sucked me through it. My heart seemed to explode from the pleasure of it. Just when I thought I’d reached the apex of my orgasm, another wave of ecstasy hit me as Dex used his tongue and lips on me. Over and over again until I lost count.
I went limp as Dex finally let me go; my legs fell open, as if I had no bones left. Slowly, he worked a trail of kisses from my stomach, between my breasts, each nipple, along my neck until he lay beside me and gathered me in his arms. He murmured against my ear as I wrapped my arms around him and pulled him close.
“No fair,” I whispered when I found my voice.
His low, sensual laugh stirred something in me all over again. He kissed me.
“I couldn’t help it,” he said, finally leaning back to let me breathe. He brought himself up on one elbow and looked down at me, his eyes flashing with mirth and renewed desire. He would give me a break, I knew, but I felt his own rock-solid arousal against my leg. He could be patient, but he wouldn’t be denied. The
thought of it sparked fresh desire in me and it shocked me. I could pretend, I could try to deny it to even myself, but not for long.
No man had ever made me feel the way Dex McLain did. No man could awaken my deepest desires the way he could. For years I’d tried to find someone else who could. It never worked. I thought about poor Chris the pharmacist and my stupid decision to screw him in the back of his car. Even that had been a weak attempt to do something dangerous and wicked and capture a little of what Dex and I had, even though I hadn’t realized it at the time. I shook off the thoughts of other men. They had no place here. When Dex called, my body answered as if I were made for him. I shuddered at the thought of it. Dex’s eyes narrowed. I couldn’t say it out loud. Not to him, not even to myself.
Charlie had been more right than I realized. If I couldn’t be with Dex the way he wanted, I had to do something about it and soon. The hold he had over my heart and body was way too strong. He was in my bloodstream like a drug. The longer I waited to pull away, the harder it would be for both of us. I’d found a way to live without him before. I might not survive him a second time.
As he looked at me, I knew he wrestled with some version of the same turmoil. His lips parted and I knew what he planned to say. He stopped himself though and there was some small mercy in that even though I felt a tiny crack in my heart. He loved me. He’d always loved me.
The only question was whether I was brave enough to accept it.
Chapter Sixteen
Dex
Over the next few weeks, we settled into a manageable rhythm. I couldn’t say things were back to normal because I didn’t have a new normal myself yet. But club business went on without any extra drama. There were no further incidents at the gym and Sly swore Pagano hadn’t reached out through Londo or anyone else about his laundering scheme. There was a reckoning coming between the club and Pagano, but we might just get the chance to do it slow and clean.
Then there was Ava. I read the look in her eyes the other day just before I was about to tell her I loved her. There was a time when it would have been the most natural thing in the world to say and of course I still felt it. Still wanted to say it because it had never stopped being true. But she wasn’t ready. I could see that plain as day. I wouldn’t risk losing her by pushing too hard. What was right between us was absolutely fantastic. I couldn’t keep my hands off her. She came to the club a couple of mornings a week after her shift and I pretty much kept her naked and under me every second I could. But she kept me separate from the rest of her world. She hadn’t invited me over to her place or introduced me to her hospital friends.
What wasn’t right between us could wait for now. I was willing to take everything else on her terms. She needed to trust that the chaos and violence that followed the club in Blackie’s time was mostly behind us. Mostly. I think she started to believe the Franco matter was an isolated incident and I’m a little ashamed to admit I let her. But I knew that fire was a slow burn and it was only a matter of time before it erupted into something bigger.
It was the other fire that needed tending at the moment. Sly had hoped that Billy would come to his own conclusion about my role in the club and offer to step down as V.P. without a full-on club vote. It hadn’t happened and tension with the members couldn’t be ignored anymore. Sly needed to force the issue one way or another and he knew it. He decided the best way to handle it was for him to take Billy on a ride, just the two of them, and lay it all out. I couldn’t argue his logic. The man needed a chance to save face that he wouldn’t get if the entire membership came at him across the table.
I lay low, dealt with the Den suppliers and gym business while Billy and Sly took a ride up the coast to scout more properties for the GWG expansion. After about three hours of going over Tiny’s spreadsheets, I needed a fucking diversion. It was three o’clock in the afternoon and Ava was working a twelve starting in a few hours. Her usual schedule was four on, two off. I hadn’t seen her since her last day off and I missed her like crazy. She answered on the second ring when I called her, her voice husky from sleep and sexy as hell.
“Mmm. I was just in the middle of a good dream.”
“Was I in it?” My balls tightened at the thought of her lying naked in her bed without me. I didn’t want many more days to go by like that and I was already working on finding a place of my own. Something I’d really never had. I wanted her to move in with me and a whole lot more. But things had been relatively stable with the club as far as she could see and I was afraid if I broached the subject, I might burst some invisible bubble around us.
“I wouldn’t tell you if you were. You don’t need any more encouragement.” I could hear the sultry smile in her voice and it charged me up even more. God, I needed to see her.
“Why don’t I pick you up tomorrow morning? The Den’s closed for cleaning and inventory tomorrow and Sly’s gone walkabout with Billy for a couple of days. It’s going to be pretty quiet around here.”
Ava paused before answering. I tried to keep my voice casual when mentioning Sly and Billy but she knew enough about club politics to understand what this meant.
“I’ll pick you up at the hospital at seven,” I said, not wanting to give her a chance to say no.
“Will Billy leave?” she asked. I thought about dodging the question but knew Ava would sense it and I didn’t want her to worry. She knew there might be things I couldn’t tell her, but I would never lie to her if I could help it.
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I hope he doesn’t. He really is good with the fighters and there’s plenty of work to be done.”
Her silence told me she had plenty more to say on the subject. Two second later, she did. “He wants the club, Dex. Sly has to know that. I’ve seen the way he looks at you and at Sly too. And he’s always been the first one to fly off the handle. Sly downplays things with him. You know Sly has called on me a few times over the years for off-book patch-and-mend jobs. Nothing that would get me in any kind of trouble but it always seems like it’s Billy’s temper that escalates things more than they should have been. You should know that, Dex.”
I didn’t like it. I didn’t like it one bit and I knew it wasn’t entirely rational on my part. I had wanted Sly to look out for her but I didn’t want her too close to the club when I wasn’t here myself. And I knew she wasn’t wrong about Billy either. I wanted to tell her not to worry. It was in me to steer her thoughts back to her dream and how I planned to act them out and improve upon them when I got her alone again. I also knew I could only fuck her to distraction for so long.
“I know,” I finally said. To her credit, she didn’t press me for anything else. “Pack a bag. I’ll pick you up when your shift’s over tomorrow.”
I heard her sigh but she didn’t argue. Someday soon, I knew she might, but not today.
***
Billy and Sly got back just as I pulled into the Den parking lot with Ava. Their timing couldn’t have been worse. She wouldn’t give me details but I knew she’d had an exhausting shift and something or someone had put extra lines of worry under her eyes.
I shot a look to Sly but he kept his face neutral. Ava looked at each of us in turn as we walked into the bar together. I put a steadying hand at the small of her back. Billy wouldn’t meet my eyes and that told me most of what I needed to know.
Shit.
“Come on,” I whispered against Ava’s ear and it thrilled me how my breath raised gooseflesh along the back of her neck. Exhausted as she was, I knew she wouldn’t be able to resist giving herself to me if I asked. But I saw a flicker in Sly’s eyes before he turned to head into his office. Business would have to come first.
Ava practically crumpled to the bed when I got her upstairs. The hollow expression in her face tugged at my heart. I loved what she did and hated it too. She was physically and emotionally spent after whatever death and destruction had rolled into Green Bluff General’s E.R. last night.
She let me undress her.
Her eyelids hung heavy, her limbs practically boneless.
“Mmm.” She purred when I pressed a thumb into the arch of her foot and massaged her there. “You’re going to give me a footgasm if you keep that up.” She rolled to her stomach and the sight of her luscious ass was almost more than I could take. She climbed further up the bed and folded a pillow under her head. She lay on her stomach with her left leg bent. My beautiful angel. I ran my hand along the slope of her breast where it pressed against the mattress, down her rib cage making her twitch where she was slightly ticklish, then rested my palm against her round ass.
“Get some sleep, baby,” I said, proud of my Herculean self-control.
“Mmm.” She purred again and yawned, already half asleep. A line of worry still furrowed her brow. I leaned down, brushing her hair aside so I could kiss the nape of her neck; the downy blonde hairs there tickled my upper lip. She shuddered from my touch then settled back against the pillows. Then I pulled the sheets up to cover her as she started to snore.
Careful not to disturb her, I lifted myself off the bed and quietly closed the door behind me.
***
When I walked downstairs, Billy was nowhere to be found and the bar was dark and empty. I went to Sly’s office and found him leaning against the window sill, staring out into the parking lot. I came to stand beside him.
“I take it things with Billy went about as bad as I feared.”
Sly chewed his bottom lip but kept staring straight ahead. “I don’t know how Blackie and your dad dealt with this shit sometimes. Who’d have fucking figured that dragging us out of the one percenter hell they did would make some things so complicated. Sometimes I feel like I’m running a damn sorority with all the backbiting, gossip and hurt feelings. Nobody fucking goes to prison anymore so maybe they don’t get how this shit is supposed to work.”
I took a breath, mostly to keep from smashing something. I think if Billy had been standing in front of me, it would have been his face.