by Gini Koch
“Where do you think the animals are?” Adriana asked.
“Honestly? I think they’re in the same place our last three people are—inside the helicarrier. But let’s get back to the car situation first. How many people can we fit into that limo, squished up and breaking all traffic laws and rules of decorum?”
“At least a dozen,” Hughes said. “Hopefully more.”
“If we have people willing to get into the trunk, we could probably fit even more,” Walker said.
“By the way, the Secret Service agents aren’t clear on how you roll,” Jerry said. “Despite what you said earlier they want to get you under control and ‘protected.’ The P.T.C.U. folks don’t work that closely with us, so they’re more on the side of that mindset than not.”
“And there are more of them than there are of us,” Hughes added. “And I’m pointing that out because the moment you say what you plan to do next—which is raid that helicarrier, I’m sure—those people are going to do everything in their power to stop you.”
“Thanks for helping make the decision. Have them hot-wire the car. I want all the Secret Service and the P.T.C.U. personnel jammed in there. They’re the ones most likely to get immediate assistance as soon as they check in anyway.”
“You got it, Commander,” Jerry said cheerfully. He nodded to the other flyboys, and all five of them went off to handle this. Doubted they were going to win on the first attempt but hope did like to spring eternal.
“You’re sure?” White asked me.
“I am. I’d love to shove all of you into that car, too, but, frankly, I’m going to need the backup, and it needs to be backup I can count on.”
“So, where is the helicarrier?” Lizzie asked. “You’ve been all mysterious about it.”
“And I’m remaining that way until we get everyone shoved into the car.” One of the P.T.C.U. guys got the car started and, the moment he did so, the arguments started too.
“They aren’t going to want to go,” White said. “They’re going to insist that you and the other women get in, and then insist that I get in.”
“Women, children, and gentlemen of a certain age first. Yeah, I know.” Heaved a sigh. “Let’s get over there and see if we can’t get them to listen to reason.”
“The First Lady saying that she plans to try to raid the invisible helicarrier that’s manned by her kidnapper isn’t going to sound like reason to them, Missus Martini. It barely sounds like reason to me.”
“Et tu, Brute White? Really?”
He chuckled. “I’m used to you and the level of risk you find acceptable.”
“Stop trying to pretend you’re not an adrenaline junkie by now.”
“Oh, I’d never try to pass a lie like that.” We reached the car and the dispute. Wasn’t quite violent enough to be called domestic, but it was heading there. “Gentlemen, if I might have a moment?”
The arguing didn’t stop.
“Shut the hell up!” I didn’t bellow this, though I could have. But I ensured that my voice was loud and projecting and that I was channeling Mom. The arguments stopped and I received a lot of shocked looks. Whatever. “Thanks so much. Save your breath, if you’ve been told you’re getting into the car, you’re getting into the car. Period.”
Mouths opened to protest. Put up the paw. Amazing—it still worked, they all froze. “I’m not kidding. If we have to knock you out, we will do so. Frankly, it will be easier to pack you into the car like unconscious sardines, so don’t push it. Many of us are in bad moods for a variety of reasons and we’ve never been against knocking heads. You will be getting into that car, getting the hell out of here, and getting help. This is an order and it’s non-negotiable.”
A big, burly Secret Service agent shook his head and stepped forward. “Ma’am, I’m sorry, but if you’re going to force us to physically remove you for your own safety, then that’s what we’re going to do.” He was possibly the biggest guy here. Did a fast comparison. Yep, definitely the biggest guy here.
“Yeah? Just how are you going to achieve that?”
He sighed. “I’m going to pick you up and put you in the car.”
“Well, you can try.” Moved into a fighting stance. “Come at me, bro, and feel free to bring it.”
CHAPTER 67
THE BIG SECRET SERVICE AGENT looked uncomfortable, but he also didn’t look like he was going to back down. “I apologize in advance.” Sure enough, he charged.
I sidestepped and tripped him, because hyperspeed was awesome. Then I picked him up, because I was pissed and super strength wasn’t so bad, either. Tossed him into the trunk that Walker had thoughtfully opened. This took about three seconds.
Looked around at the rest of them. “Who’s going to try out their insubordination skills next? Or, to put it another way, whose ass am I going to next be kicking?”
“She’s not kidding,” Jerry said cheerfully. “She’s used to giving orders and having them acted upon immediately.”
“Which is why her team is staying with her, and why all of you are leaving,” Hughes added.
The agent in the trunk had the good sense not to try to get out of it, but he did sit up. “Why are you willing to risk yourself?” he asked me. “That’s our job.”
“Yeah? You risked yourselves at the train station and got kidnapped, left without food and water in horrific conditions, and a lot worse was planned for you, trust me. I, on the other hand, got away from my kidnapper and got the rest of my team away from him, too. And that’s just for starters. I could continue to brag on myself and my team and our awesome skills, but I’m sure that my husband is really wondering just where in the world I am, and it might be nice, and I’m just spitballing here, if the people I’m ordering to get the hell out of here and go bring us help would actually, you know, do what they’re being told. Right. Damn. Now.”
The guy who’d hot-wired the car shrugged. “You know whose daughter she is. I say we do what she’s requesting.” He nodded to me and got into the driver’s seat.
“One person who’s seeing reason. How refreshing. The rest of you? I can seriously imitate my mother if I have to. In all ways. And you’re really making me want to.”
The other P.T.C.U. agents apparently needed no other threats. They indicated listening to me was the right choice and most of the Secret Service agents grudgingly acquiesced.
“I have never seen people so freaking willing to get hurt as our Secret Service,” I said to White while the various agents were shoving themselves into the car and who else was getting to ride in the trunk was being discussed. “I don’t get it.”
“They’re protectors,” White said, as if this answered everything.
“Yeah? I get them protecting a position, I do. But I don’t get them being willing to die for someone who just wants to get them to safety.”
White was clearly trying not to laugh. “And now you understand how Jeffrey, Christopher, Charles, Malcolm, Leonard, Kyle, and many others feel about you.”
“Whatevs. I’m going to make Lizzie my new partner. She’s less likely to toss shade like this my way.”
“I’m willing,” she said. “But my dad probably won’t allow it.”
“Lizzie, hon, as you can see by our day today, what we want and what we get are not necessarily the same things.”
The big Secret Service agent I’d manhandled, whose name turned out to be Keith, gave up his place in the trunk so two smaller guys could fit in there. Other than Keith, the rest of the Security Gang was able to fit into the car, so to speak.
Had a thought and trotted over to the driver’s window. He rolled it down. Handed him the BT. “As near as I can tell, this is the only electronic that’s not being affected by the android who kidnapped everyone. It’s dialed in to the flyboys’ DNA and it gets greener the closer anyone is to them. I have no idea what’s going to happen once you leave here
, but in case no one can find us again for some reason, use this.”
He nodded and put the BT into his vest pocket. “Got it.”
“What’s your name, by the way?”
“Devon Jones.”
“You have any relatives named Casey?”
He snorted. “Casey Jones? Ah, no. No one in my family is that twee.”
“Works for me.” Hoped he wasn’t lying. Then again, had to figure that if he was P.T.C.U. then Mom and Kevin had done a very thorough background check.
The guy next to him nudged him. “She’s testing to see if you’re related to that nutjob Club Fifty-One terrorist.” Refrained from making a mind reading comment, but it took effort.
“Oh.” Devon snorted. “Your mother’s already checked that. And, in case you didn’t know, Jones is a pretty common name.”
“If we weren’t so pressed for time and needing to save tons of people and probably the world somewhere along the way I’d give you a really sarcastic reply and then we could banter for a while. As things stand, my only reply is no duh and stop smart-mouthing the First Lady lest I go all FLOTUS on your ass. Now, get going. Drive carefully, at least until you’re out of this area. As soon as someone has cell service, make sure they phone home.”
“Thank God you’re here to tell us that,” Devon said. “That would never, ever have occurred to any one of us.”
“Dude, I look forward to getting to banter with you at another time, I truly do.”
He grinned. “Feeling’s mutual. Try not to die. It’ll piss your mother off to no end and, since I’m driving, I’ll get the blame.”
“Duly noted and I’ll do my very best.”
“Good plan.” He rolled his window up and started off.
“Everyone’s a critic.” Headed back to the others as the car drove off slowly. “Fifteen men on a dead man’s chest.”
“Let’s hope not,” Keith said.
The car made it to the end of the street, then turned right. “Why are they going that way?” I asked everyone and no one.
“Where should they have gone?” Jerry asked.
“Left. At least, I think.”
“No one gave them directions,” Keith mentioned. “And we were all unconscious when we were brought here.”
“My bad. Well, hopefully they won’t stop at the NSA’s detention center and all will be well.” Felt it was important to remember that we needed to tell Jeff and Chuckie that no one trusted what the NSA was doing right now. But also didn’t think now was the time to ask someone to take a memo to that effect.
Turned to see if I could tell if there was any action around the helicarrier. There was a good chance that the Kendroid would blast the limo to smithereens. Wasn’t sure if those of us with hyperspeed would be fast enough to save them if that happened.
But there were no shots fired that I could see or hear, so decided that the Kendroid either wasn’t paying attention to the car or else he had something else going on that boded for us. Figured I should bet on the latter. Either that or the limo was heading for a dead end and the Kendroid just figured he’d hit it on its way back.
Well, no time like the present and all that. “So, gang, we’re going to raid a building that has an invisible helicarrier on it. I’m wide open to suggestions for how we figure out how to get inside something we can’t see and which the flyboys feel is dangerous to be trying to touch.”
“That’s your plan?” Keith appeared to be channeling Christopher for this experience, only without Christopher’s speed, strength, or experience. Lucky me. “That’s your entire plan?”
“Oh, no. Not my entire plan. I have more. I’m just not sharing it.”
“We used to think she just liked to keep everything close to the vest to keep an air of mystery,” Hughes said.
“Then we found out that she has no idea of what she’s doing, but likes to work on the fly,” Walker added.
“It keeps life interesting,” Joe said.
“We all work better when we’re terrified and have no idea of what’s going on,” Randy shared.
“So,” Jerry patted Keith on the back, “you should fit right in.”
Keith shot Jerry a glare. Nowhere near up to Christopher’s standards. I’d have given a lot to have Christopher here glaring at me right now—he’d probably be able to get into the helicarrier simply by being so fast that he could find the door in less than a minute.
“You guys complete me. Anyway, let’s head on over and see what happens, though I suggest we take the remaining food, water, and first aid stuff with us, just because who knows when we’ll see food and water again and because we spent a lot of effort to get this stuff here.”
“And the captives will probably need it as well,” White pointed out.
“And that, too. Keith, you’re elected to be the pack mule. Try not to make me wish I’d tied you to the roof of the limo.”
Keith shot another dirty look my way, but he loaded up the box with the remains of our stores and hefted it onto his shoulder. “I can’t believe we’re spending more time at Forest Haven,” he muttered.
“You watch Ghost Hunters?”
He nodded. “This is one of the most haunted sites in the country. The thing with the shoes is the worst, but there’s not a spot here that isn’t filled with evil.”
“I know,” Randy said enthusiastically, finding the common ground of a shared TV experience. “It’s even worse in person than it was watching the show.”
“Just leave the shoes alone,” Joe suggested. “Leave what you find where you find it.”
Chose not to mention that we’d blown that one already and sincerely hoped that Lizzie and Mahin wouldn’t mention it, either. Mahin didn’t say anything to the others, but I was pretty sure I heard her muttering about cleansing with fire again.
“What about the trash?” Lizzie asked.
“Normally I’d say we should throw it away like good citizens, but this entire place is a garbage dump, so just leave it.”
Keith nodded. “I doubt the ghosts will mind.”
“Thanks for that, Keith.” Considered calling him the Cowardly Lion, but that wasn’t really fair. I was as creeped out here as he was, after all.
“So where is the helicarrier?” Joe asked.
“Based on what Dan and Josh said about its size, and based on things I know about its creator and things I did and didn’t see, I think it’s on the top of the biggest, though not the tallest, building here, the one that’s just down the road a ways.”
Started off with the others following me. Sadly, the flyboys were right—I was flying by the soles of my Converse right about now. I knew where our target was, but I had no idea of how to get inside of it.
Lizzie trotted up next to me. “So, when I’m stuck writing about what I did on my summer vacation at this new school I’ll be going to, any chance I can write about this?”
“No. Let’s pretend that we’re all conscientious guardians and that we took you to Europe or something.”
“They’ll totes know that’s not happening. Unless we’re going to Europe once we get inside the helicarrier,” she added with far more excitement than I felt the suggestion warranted under the circumstances.
“You’re acting like this is a summer holiday.” My brain nudged. There was something about this that I needed to look at more closely. Not in regard to Lizzie, but in regard to what had happened since Crystal Maurer had shown up.
She shrugged. “So far? It kind of is. We’ve found everyone and they’re all basically okay. We’re investigating this totes creepy place, kicking butt and taking names. Honestly, it’s pretty fun. I’m kind of hoping we get to go somewhere else interesting when we take over the helicarrier.”
“I’m hoping we’re going to Andrews Air Force Base once we get inside the helicarrier.”
“Will they let us
in? Or even know we’re there?”
“If we radio them to let us in, yeah, they will.”
“I wouldn’t let us in. We could totes be bringing in shock troops or something.”
“Like the Trojan Horse . . .” Stopped walking. “Okay, that’s it.”
“What’s it?” Abigail asked.
“How we’re going to get inside the helicarrier.”
“How?” White asked.
“We’re going to give the Kendroid a present.”
CHAPTER 68
“THIS IS INSANE,” Keith said for, by my count, the fourth time.
“Most of Kitty’s plans are,” Jerry said. “But they work out. Somehow.”
“I feel the love. Look, time’s always of the essence and unless one of you has a better, foolproof way for us to get inside, my idea’s the one we’re going with.”
“I’d appreciate a more thorough recap myself, Missus Martini. Mostly because I have no faith that our cavalry is coming any time soon.”
“Fine, Mister White, but only to make you happy. Okay, we have to figure that the Kendroid has been monitoring what we’ve been doing from inside his Helicarrier Fortress. So either he didn’t care that we’ve found and freed all the captives—which seems unlikely—or it doesn’t matter to his plan.”
“His plan to turn us into androids?” Joe asked.
“No. I realized when Lizzie was looking at this as a fun field trip that I was looking at the entire situation incorrectly. I was looking at it as just what you said, Joe—that we were being taken to turn us into androids or similar.”
“Can’t imagine why you’d think that,” Randy said dryly. “Since that wasn’t happening to the two of us already or anything.”
“Dudes, seriously, think for a minute. The whole reason the androids work is that they’re slipped in to fool people. My team was kidnapped in broad daylight. Ergo, when we come back, we can’t ‘slip in’ and act like things are normal.”