Camp Alien

by Gini Koch

  “Sure.” She trotted off while Jeff sent a text.

  Nadine arrived. “You ready for me to take the kids inside, Jeff?”

  “Can’t we go into the pool?” Jamie asked.

  “Not without water wings, Mommy and Daddy, and a lifeguard.” Hey, Jamie had learned to swim while I was pregnant with Charlie, but there was no reason to take risks. And Charlie certainly had never been swimming.

  Jeff chuckled. “Mommy’s right. Why don’t you open your present now and then you and Charlie can go play with Nadine. We saw lots of fun things for you to do, remember?”

  “Okay, Daddy,” she said cheerfully. As she started to carefully open her gift, Lizzie came back with Chuckie. He was dressed like all the other men from our side of things—Armani Fatigues all the way. Chose not to mention that I knew he owned jeans. Now wasn’t the time.

  Quickly told him about our conversation with Mossad and Jeff and Lizzie’s concerns about Harpaz. “So, what do you think?” I asked him as we finished up.

  He shrugged. “No idea.” He sounded off and looked off, and I recognized his expression. I’d seen it any time he’d thought that I was dumping him to be with cooler kids. I never had and never would, but it had taken him a few years to believe it would never happen.

  “Stop it,” I said gently. “I’m not mad at you anymore. You can stop beating yourself up. You’re still the smartest guy in any room, still my best friend, and still one of the most important people in the world to me, and I still love you as much as I did two days ago. I’m not leaving you for the cool kids, Chuckie, because you’re still the coolest guy I know.”

  “She’s not lying,” Jeff added. “Trust me, her emotions, I can almost never block. She still firmly feels you walk on water.”

  Chuckie managed a small smile. “I don’t like failing, let alone failing you, Kitty.”

  “You didn’t. I promise. I’ll talk to you about it more when we can be in private, but I just want you to know—”

  Was interrupted by Bruno going visible and squawking and Chuckie moving in the superfast way he’d learned so well that he was a rare human who could take down an A-C. Only he didn’t take anyone down—he snatched something out of Jamie’s hands.

  She stared at him openmouthed. “Uncle Charles, that’s mine.”

  He shook his head. “Jamie, Uncle Charles will give you a better present later, okay? This one you cannot have. Nadine, get the kids out of here, now. I want them underground as fast as possible. And all the Peregrines with them, too. On high alert,” he said to Bruno. Who bobbed his head.

  “Underground where?” I asked.

  “What’s going on?” Jeff asked.

  Bruno squawked. He wasn’t arguing with Chuckie—he was saying the Peregrines agreed.

  “Under this cabin. Your security personnel know where it is. And what’s going on is trouble.” He opened his hand. There was a round chocolate candy in his palm, mostly unwrapped.

  “Um, are we worried about diabetes or Jamie getting a sugar rush or something?”

  “No.” Chuckie’s voice was tight. “Nadine, this is an order. Get the kids out of here.”

  Decided that we had two choices. I could argue with Chuckie and pretty much say that I didn’t trust his judgment for whatever he thought was going on, which, per Buchanan, would ruin our relationship and Chuckie’s ego permanently. Or I could do what I’d done pretty much as long as I’d known him and do what he said when he was adamant like this.

  Kissed Charlie and handed him to Nadine. Bent down and hugged Jamie. “Let’s do what Uncle Charles says, okay? Maybe he knows that’s a candy you won’t like and doesn’t want us to be rude to the man who gave it to you. Plus, you know Uncle Charles will get you something really special to make up for it.”

  She nodded. “Okay, Mommy.” She looked up at Chuckie worriedly. “You’ll all be okay?”

  “Yes,” he said firmly.

  Jeff kissed Charlie, then picked Jamie up and hugged her. “Be good, Jamie-Kat.” He put her down and Nadine took her hand. They headed into the cabin. All four Peregrines went visible, Bruno ushered the other Peregrines in, nodded to me, then went back to stealth mode. But he was definitely with the kids. “You should go, too,” Jeff said to Lizzie.

  “No way. I want to know what the heck’s going on.”

  “This isn’t a candy,” Chuckie said, voice tight. “I’ve seen these before. It’s an explosive.”

  CHAPTER 92

  “YOU’RE SURE?” Jeff asked, Commander Voice back on Full.

  “Positive, though I’m not going to test it here. But if Jamie had bitten into it, it would have killed her and all of you as well.”

  “And it’s rude in Iraqi culture to open a gift right when it’s given to you. Vance and Abner drilled all this into me yesterday, that’s why I didn’t let Jamie open it when she got it.” It was amazing how fast I could go from angry, stressed, and confused to enraged and laser-focused. “Can I kill him now?”

  “Not yet. If you’d told her it was okay, I’m sure whoever gave it to her would have shared that it was culturally improper and had her wait.” Chuckie sounded furious but in control again, as if the wheels were turning properly. Good. The three of us were primed and ready. “Who did give that to her?”

  “Samara.” Turned to look back at him. Samara’s back was to us. And I could have sworn his back moved as if it was undulating. Which human backs didn’t do as a rule. “There’s something wrong with him.”

  “He gave Jamie a bomb as a present,” Lizzie said. “There’s totes something wrong with him.”

  “No, I mean . . .” Was still looking at his back. “There, see it? It’s like his spine is moving.” My memory nudged. I’d seen something like this a long time ago now. It had been my introduction to my new life. “Think he’s a superbeing?”

  The others looked. “I don’t see anything,” Jeff said. “He’d have to be an in-control one if he is, and we’d have found out about that well before now. We destroyed all of the ones in existence when we met, baby. But we need to be certain this is a bomb, Chuck. And I don’t want to find out by making it go off.”

  Pulled out my phone and sent a text. Serene joined us quickly. Explained the situation and Chuckie showed her the candy.

  Serene’s eyes narrowed as she examined it. “Definitely an explosive. It’s coated in a thin layer of chocolate, but, as Chuck said, we’ve seen these before. So, do we tackle him, arrest him, or what? Since this can be qualified as an assassination attempt on the President and his family.”

  “You know, I somehow foolishly thought that this would be dull and boring and just something to get through. I thought that we’d at least have to get to the first night before things went haywire. And I also would have thought that the opening salvo in terms of whatever’s going on wouldn’t be to try to kill us by giving our daughter an explosive.”

  Chuckie stiffened. “What if it wasn’t to kill Jeff like Serene said, but actually to kill Jamie? As in, they can’t steal her away from us, so they’ll get rid of her permanently instead?”

  “There are a ton of possibilities. I think we also have to remember that Lizzie and Jeff both think Harpaz is off, too. Meaning Mossad is right and something’s happened to alter these two men. And it happened recently.”

  “We have to have proof,” Jeff said. “Otherwise we’ll—” He stopped speaking as Harpaz came over to us. Chuckie took the bomb from Serene and put it into his outer suit pocket.

  “Is all well?” he asked politely. “You all seem . . . tense.”

  “Oh, just a little jittery due to the importance of this meeting,” I said quickly, since Jeff couldn’t lie and there was no need to show Chuckie that Serene could. “We so want to help make a positive difference.”

  Harpaz nodded gravely. “I understand.” He looked around. “Where did your little ones go?” As his h
ead was turning I noted that he was blinking. A lot. And I wasn’t distracted like Jeff had been the night before, and I’d definitely seen blinking like this before. When androids were trying to reset or not go off or glitching or whatever.

  “Lizzie, honey, would you please go get your Uncle Richard?” I asked in the motherliest sugar-sweet tone I could manage. “I know he wanted to ask the Prime Minister a couple of non-high-level questions and now seems like a good time.”

  “Of course,” Lizzie said, sounding like the politest and most well-behaved teenager on Earth. Good, she’d picked up the clue. She trotted off to find White, who I sincerely hoped was nearby.

  “Why didn’t he ask these questions of me last night?” Harpaz asked.

  “We were focused on other things,” Jeff said.

  Harpaz nodded then turned to Chuckie. “I don’t believe we have met yet.”

  Chuckie put out his hand. “Charles Reynolds. Pleased to meet you, Prime Minister Harpaz.”

  Harpaz shook his hand and held onto it. “And what do you do, sir?”

  Something made me answer before Chuckie could. “He’s my best friend. Here for moral support. And extra help with the kids.”

  Jeff and Serene managed not to react. Chuckie smiled, and I saw him shift into his Wealthy Jet-Setting Bachelor mode. Bruce Wayne was now representing. “It’s nice to have influential friends. And this way I get a different kind of vacation and the rare opportunity to meet world leaders.” He chuckled. “I live half the year in Australia, so I do my best to avoid winter around the world.”

  “Ah.” Harpaz seemed slightly thrown. Sincerely doubted that the head dude of Israel wasn’t clear that Australia’s weather was opposite of America’s. Also sincerely doubted that the head dude of Israel hadn’t paid total attention to who the new players in America’s government were. Mossad was definitely not wrong. Sincerely wondered what Harpaz’s explosion trigger was and had a feeling we were going to find out.

  Lizzie returned with White, who gave me a small nod. Good, she’d briefed him on what was going on. “Mister Prime Minister, how good to see you again. I hope you’re finding Camp David pleasant?”

  “I am. The First Lady said that you had questions for me?”

  “I do.” White launched into religious queries, basically doing a religious studies comparison course. I knew he could do this in his sleep. Could tell that White was examining Harpaz as I’d seen him do with the Kitty-Droid and others.

  Chuckie was paying rapt attention to this exchange, and while I wasn’t the clearest girl on all aspects of Judaism, particularly as how it compared to the Annocusal view of things, I was pretty sure that Harpaz was representing some things incorrectly. Not the big things, but the little ones. The ones you wouldn’t necessarily bother to program in if you weren’t Antony Marling.

  Meaning that if Harpaz was an android or a really amazing Man-Bot then he wasn’t a Marling creation, or if he was, his programming was faulty. Didn’t think he was a Man-Bot—he was too good for what I’d seen so far from the Fem-Bots. Considering how much the man was blinking, an android software crash was what my gut wanted to go with.

  Raj joined us. “I’m sorry, Mister President, but it’s time for your welcoming speech.”

  Jeff grunted. “Right now?”

  Raj nodded. “Our limited press is in position and we need to allow them to send your opening words to the media. It’s in the best interests of the administration.”

  My Megalomaniac Girl cape was already on and I knew, now, without a doubt, that Jeff needed to stall starting that speech for as long as possible.

  Nudged Serene where I hoped Harpaz couldn’t see. “Oh, Raj, can’t they wait a little longer?”

  Serene passed an almost imperceptible sign to Raj that I only caught because I was desperately hoping to see it. Raj’s eyes opened just a little wider. “Well,” he said slowly, “I suppose we can start really whenever the President and his honored guests are ready.”

  Realized we were missing people. “Where are the Planetary Council?”

  “Still prepping,” Raj said, “and they didn’t feel that they should attend the opening speech, lest they overshadow what this meeting is about.”

  “Kitty, why don’t you go and ensure the press are where you want them and nowhere near the kids?” Jeff suggested. “Check in on the Planetary Council, too, would you?”

  Didn’t really want to leave them alone with an android, a candy bomb in Chuckie’s pocket, or what I was pretty sure was an in-control superbeing currently chatting up Claudia and Lorraine. But arguing about that with Jeff right now could tip Harpaz off. “Sure.”

  “Chuck,” Jeff went on pleasantly, “why don’t you help her do that? You know how she doesn’t want to put anyone out or push her ideas forward.”

  Chuckie nodded. “Happy to give Kitty moral support.”

  Harpaz chuckled. “I see you’re a traditional wife, Missus Martini.”

  “Oh, very much so. Lizzie, you come too and let the grown-ups talk.”

  Raj headed off and the three of us went with him. “What’s going on?” he asked me quietly. “Other than the Prime Minister clearly hasn’t been briefed about you at all.”

  “Samara gave Jamie a candy bomb, I think Samara is an in-control superbeing, and Harpaz is most likely an android or possibly a robot. Waiting for Richard’s thoughts on that.”

  “Mister White already said that he votes android based on what he saw last night,” Lizzie said. “As in, he didn’t see the hairline and eye issues that he’s noted with the Fem-Bots.”

  “I’m sure he told you to call him Uncle Richard.”

  “We’re on the job now, Megalomaniac Girl,” Lizzie said. “You call him Mister White when you’re rolling, so I’m doing that, too.”

  “Well chosen, Quick Girl. So, Raj, my guess is that the main attack is going to happen the moment Jeff’s feeding live to the news media.”

  “It would have started sooner if Jamie had eaten that candy,” Chuckie said darkly.

  “So that means they’re not working in tandem. No idea if that’s good or bad for us, but since my little girl wasn’t blown up by the Iraqi President, I think the next trigger will be when Jeff’s on a live feed.”

  “We can’t stall forever,” Raj said. “The media expects to get this story from our two reporters.”

  “We can tell them what’s going on. They’re both trustworthy.”

  We were at the far side of the pool from where Jeff was now, near to where Oliver and Jenkins were set up. “Unless there is an attack,” Raj said worriedly, “we have to be incredibly careful about accusing anyone of anything—these are supposed to be peace talks, not the start of World War Three.”

  Chuckie looked at me. “What are the odds that this is Cliff’s doing?”

  “Low, honestly. If we’re right about him being hurt, and those with medical knowledge seem sure of it, he’s too busy to do more than that screw-you move he already managed.” Looked around. It was beautiful and calm here. But it wasn’t impregnable, and not just because we’d literally brought in bad things ourselves. It wasn’t protected from an air strike, at least not one that Drax’s helicarrier could manage.

  “This is literally the worst thing that could happen,” Raj said. “Your kidnapping was bad enough, but we were able to survive that because of Francine and your ability to get out of trouble. But this? If we have an incident at what’s considered a potentially historic event, and the first event of Jeff’s presidency, then he truly might as well resign.”

  Lizzie’s eyes narrowed. “So, whoever’s doing this hates Jeff, right?”

  “What do you mean?”

  “Really?” She gave me the You’re Getting Too Old For This look. “That man gave Jamie, Jeff’s daughter, an exploding candy. That would have killed her and probably the rest of us, too. And there’s an android and
an in-control superbeing here, too? And the men who we think are those bad things were normal until a couple weeks ago? That sounds like someone making sure that Jeff’s ruined.”

  “Then it’s Stephanie. Probably being assisted by the Tinkerer.” Pulled out my phone and made a call. “Hey Brian, it’s Kitty.”

  “I thought you were at Camp David with my wife and everyone else important.”

  “I am. Need you to grab The Clarence Clone and get him here pronto. Use a floater gate and have them mark on Jeff.”

  “Want to tell me what’s going on?”

  “Hopefully stopping World War Three or ending it really quickly. When you get here, tell TCC that he needs to guard Leoalla.”

  “Gotcha, and I’m on it.”

  We hung up and Lizzie waved her phone at me. “I just told Denise to lock down the Embassy. She’s got it handled and alerting the other Bases that something’s wrong.”

  “Well done, Quick Girl. Contact Malcolm. I have no idea where he is, but we need him getting our forces here on alert.” I dialed again while Lizzie texted like mad. “Jerry, we’re at code red. Need you and the rest of the flyboys to get our helicarrier here, in invisibility mode, ASAP.”

  “Joe and Randy, too, Commander?”

  Chuckie was also on his phone but he jerked, stopped talking midsentence, and pointed. His expression said that whatever he was seeing, it wasn’t good.

  Stopped talking to Jerry, too, and turned to see what had Chuckie horrified. Turned out it was Abner, who’d clearly tripped on the flagstones around the pool. His drink went flying through the air, and I projected its trajectory—was pretty positive it was going to hit Harpaz.

  Abner was trying to regain his balance and not go down. But he was near Samara and was waving his arms around as you do when you’re trying not to fall. Abner continued to represent for my side of things by knocking into Samara, which shoved Samara into the pool. A couple of Samara’s staff jumped in to help him and Vance managed to keep Abner from going down or going in.